Deriving from her personal perspective of colourism and how she has been impacted by it in the form of oppression, Francoise shares her own personal experience and witnessing in her own family and with various skin shades based on the eyes of society. She delves into how emotional well-being is intertwined into colourism, and the focus and interpretation of beauty and how its perception can tie in with racism, social acceptance, and environmental factors all play a role in the by-product of colourism. Francoise talks about the tremendous negative implications on mental and emotional wellbeing as it relates to research that she has come across. Her perspective is that if one believes they are beautiful then they also show up with confidence, emotional stability, and career success levels tend to be higher. Francoise provides description of how majority of her siblings are lighter skin tones, and there are a few with darker skin tone, and they grew up feeling insecure, not feeling beautiful because she was dark, and didn’t feel she would be able to be successful in life or aspire to any sort of life due to the darkness in her skin tone. Francoise spoke about her young cousin who attempted to wash her skin colour off in the shower by rubbing stone on her skin during her shower, bleeding after her shower in attempts to look lighter skin like the others in the family. Francoise was witness to all these scenarios from the tender age of nine, and colour differential was never something that crossed her mind until these circumstances arose amongst her siblings, which then inspired her to change the world from this young age. She expresses that the stories that heard from a young age plague self-worth and amplifies the biased standards of beauty. Her key message to the listeners is that: colourism is an insidious form of discrimination that favours those of those with a lighter skin tone; when it comes to blackness, colourism takes a dimension of attack on the emotional, mental, social, and professional aspects of a person and leads to low esteem, internalized racism, feelings of unworthiness all leading people to enhance black skin tones; remember that beauty comes from within.

Visit Dare to Heal to find out more.

Passionate about: Fundraising for My Skin Global

Shoutout: https://www.paypal.com/donate/hosted_button_id=LZHU6SCXV8CUN

Guest Links:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/francoise-mbabazi-219a2925/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/myskinglobal/
Email: info@myskinglobal.com
Website www.myskinglobal.com

Living in Toronto, Ontario, Gladys spoke about a particular time in her life during 2020/2021 where she faced extra demands in her work role, as well as marital discord as the relationship with her now ex-husband had taken a toll on her. Flooded with demands at work and on the go in her multifaceted work role and then only to return home to a negative and intense environment dealing with some tough interactions. She describes that there wasn’t really a place for her to really think she can sit down and breathe. Her mind was racing, between tasks, and thinking ahead, and preparing for the next thing before the current task is even completed. Work friends, faith community, and close heart connections are all involved in her story. It was her work colleagues who initiated an intervention to help her recognize the burnout she was facing, specifically because she was unaware of it. Initially the approach being gentle, recommending extended time off or taking a sabbatical, or encouraging her to take her vacation days. She also received messages to slow down, she endured physiological symptoms such as headaches, neck and back pain, difficulty sleeping, and overall body pain. For a long time, Gladys sat with denial, and whatever discomfort she did experience, she chalked it up to other reasons other than what was truly going on with her. After consistent messages over time, she started to contemplate the physical pain and her sleep deprivation, seeing as she was unable to stay asleep for any length of time, she started to relate her experience to the intensities of what she had been enduring in that season. Gladys expressed that it took a village to realize the state that she was in. During this difficult time, she spent a great deal of time ruminating, she shifted towards the ‘freeze’ response, as she didn’t have time to feel her feelings, didn’t feel present, and was unable to connect emotionally to people. Her key message to the listeners is that: pay attention to the people who care for you, notice the message in what is being communicated to you; stay away from reasoning or downplaying; be intentional and build and surround yourself with supports and lean on them; don’t be afraid to pause and take time off when you need it.

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Passionate about: Fight For Freedom

Shoutout: https://www.fight4freedom.ca/give.html

Guest Links:
IG https://instagram.com/fight4freedom.ca
FB https://facebook.com/fight4freedomCA
Email: gladys@fight4freedom.ca
Website www.fight4freedom.ca

As a child Farhan was always told that he would be a failure and that he didn’t have potential. He
faced resistance from family; however, he forged a pathway forward to becoming the helping
professional he is today. His story includes himself, his family and society at large. Being a first-
generation South Asian queer male, growing up in Canada, he realizes that his family was doing
the best that they could, though they had specific expectations that resisted the pathway. Farhan described how he consistently felt he must work harder than most, he had to find constructive ways to put aside any idea of imposter syndrome, and even went through a colour identity crisis. There were many beliefs systems Farhan had to combat, the many negative messages he received that impacted his self-perception began at age 7, and even so, he chose the path unchosen. Desire for acting was a disapproval from his family, acting on television and getting in the media was a journey of its own, first, difficult to get parts being a male of colour, and then when colour was accepted, he wasn’t the right colour. The narrative of not being good enough is something Farhan internalized deep within, leaving him to struggle with deep sense of belonging. Farhan experienced intense feelings of isolation and loneliness. He further highlighted how it all would surface, such as showing up with what he chose to share about his work and progress at family gatherings, he felt his energy got smaller, he knew he wouldn’t get celebrated by the people in his life even when he was accomplishing and having wins of his own, so anything he attempted to share with people in his world would get dismissed or ridiculed. It took time to realize that external validation was not where to focus his energy and desire. His key message to the listeners is that: it’s important to be true to yourself, fundamentally learn that you are betraying yourself when you are not true to yourself; reflect on what’s more important, yourself or others, as there will always be others who will be disapproving; choose yourself, don’t deny yourself; your path is all about making choices that don’t betray yourself.

Visit Dare to Heal to find out more.

Passionate about: The YMCA

Guest shoutout: YMCA North York

Guest Links:
Instagram - instagram.com/farhandhalla/
Website – Farhandhalla.com
Instagram - Instagram.com/farhanpodcast_elevateyourlife/
Podcast - www.farhandhalla.com/podcast
Twitter - twitter.com/farhandhalla
Facebook - www.facebook.com/farhandhalla
Linkedin - www.linkedin.com/in/farhan-dhalla-a477283/