As a child Farhan was always told that he would be a failure and that he didn’t have potential. He
faced resistance from family; however, he forged a pathway forward to becoming the helping
professional he is today. His story includes himself, his family and society at large. Being a first-
generation South Asian queer male, growing up in Canada, he realizes that his family was doing
the best that they could, though they had specific expectations that resisted the pathway. Farhan described how he consistently felt he must work harder than most, he had to find constructive ways to put aside any idea of imposter syndrome, and even went through a colour identity crisis. There were many beliefs systems Farhan had to combat, the many negative messages he received that impacted his self-perception began at age 7, and even so, he chose the path unchosen. Desire for acting was a disapproval from his family, acting on television and getting in the media was a journey of its own, first, difficult to get parts being a male of colour, and then when colour was accepted, he wasn’t the right colour. The narrative of not being good enough is something Farhan internalized deep within, leaving him to struggle with deep sense of belonging. Farhan experienced intense feelings of isolation and loneliness. He further highlighted how it all would surface, such as showing up with what he chose to share about his work and progress at family gatherings, he felt his energy got smaller, he knew he wouldn’t get celebrated by the people in his life even when he was accomplishing and having wins of his own, so anything he attempted to share with people in his world would get dismissed or ridiculed. It took time to realize that external validation was not where to focus his energy and desire. His key message to the listeners is that: it’s important to be true to yourself, fundamentally learn that you are betraying yourself when you are not true to yourself; reflect on what’s more important, yourself or others, as there will always be others who will be disapproving; choose yourself, don’t deny yourself; your path is all about making choices that don’t betray yourself.

Visit Dare to Heal to find out more.

Passionate about: The YMCA

Guest shoutout: YMCA North York

Guest Links:
Instagram - instagram.com/farhandhalla/
Website – Farhandhalla.com
Instagram - Instagram.com/farhanpodcast_elevateyourlife/
Podcast - www.farhandhalla.com/podcast
Twitter - twitter.com/farhandhalla
Facebook - www.facebook.com/farhandhalla
Linkedin - www.linkedin.com/in/farhan-dhalla-a477283/

Olga dives in to share that even when she was on the brink of burnout, initially she could only see it as a stress leave from work. Her story unravels her experience of her lost sense of self while battling through burnout as she worked with students and clients in the international students and immigration sector. It was September 2022 when she identified there was a shift in her energy, feeling frustrations and irritability, simultaneously the political unrest that continued forward with the invasion of Russia on Ukraine. The events of this war further perpetuated another lost piece of her identity, as she expressed feeling shameful to identify herself as Russian. At her place of work, Olga supports both Ukrainian and Russian students amongst other races and backgrounds and she internalized all the suffering she experienced, witnessed, and endured. Olga mentioned that this external event affected her ability to cope, so she sought out support for her mental wellbeing and actively participated in the therapy process. The intense shame that she experienced took a toll on her physically, like stomach pain became intolerable, severe migraines and a great deal of crying and tears followed. She explains that the support she provides to her students, is beyond study permit regulations, she learns about each student’s individual life and students tend to confide in Olga with personal details of their struggles to get to Canada, which was a contributing factor of the battle that led her to burnout. It took a great deal of time for Olga to admit after being on stress leave and seeking out some additional supports, guidance and building her coping skills that she came to terms that what she was experiencing was in fact burnout. Her key message to the listeners is that: take action by allowing yourself to explore all of what you are going through; give yourself time, be open minded, explore help and resources that are out there; and even when you know what to do, do the doing because knowing is not enough.

Visit Dare to Heal to find out more.

Passionate about: Ruben Gagarin (spouse) and his YouTube Channel providing a way for individuals to develop their own #mentalbeauty.

Guest shoutout:

YT channel: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.Gagarin

Guest Links:
Email - info@canpassgroup.com

Website – educatedimmigration.com

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/olga-gagarina-mba-rcic/

Funmi shares the impact of an unfortunate teenage sexual assault, immigrating to Canada, marital challenges, the loss of both her parents within the span of 18 months, shame, and regrets along the way and how it all has forged her character and identity of who she has become today. She details that it took her a decade to work through the trauma of sexual assault and violent rape endured at age 17, which robbed her of her virginity and her innocence. This led to further impact of her sense of loss and mistrust, and amplified negative perspectives she held about men and family and maintaining long-lasting relationships. She described overall how her mental health was impacted such as, what being on autopilot looked like to her on an everyday basis; the self-blame placed on herself thinking she didn’t deserve a good life and that she brought on these problems onto herself; and what it took to break free from her patterns, learning she can work through her healing process and realized she can still claim her life. Funmi spoke about the emotional pain and turmoil of the death of each parent and how debilitating this was for her and still is on some days. Some moments of her life became unbearable to the point where she entertained suicidal thoughts, thinking that life would be easier for herself and others if she disappeared and not have to deal with any further consequences. Her key message to the listeners is that: life is totally worth living; know that there is an even deeper untold story within your untold story; diver deeper, as it will produce so much more motivation to be exactly who you are called to be; there is so much more to life than what you are currently experiencing, so rise up to your full potential; each person is a work in progress.

Visit Dare to Heal to find out more.

Guest Shoutouts:

https://immersecoaching.co/

Visionary Compass Accelerator Program (https://myvisionarycompass.com/)

Guest Links:
Instagram – www.instagram.com/funmiayowole

Website – www.thefunmiayowole.com

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/funmifatonaayowole

Podcast - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thesoulclinic1

Phoenix grew up in East Germany, still communist in 1972 with an enabling father, growing up being parented with a narcissistic mother she explains. Phoenix shares that she grew up in darkness, and her mother was lost within herself, not knowing her own identity, Phoenix slowly started to get to know herself, and as she did this, she felt she was shedding light on herself. Phoenix expressed that she really struggled to sort out who she was and what she wanted to be and felt that she was not lovable. Her childhood experiences led her to feel unworthy, insignificant, and small. She explained how she was unable to foster healthy relationships or understand how to manage conflict, or cope with difficult people and situations. Phoenix indicates that any relationship she entered, fell apart due to her insecurities and unfinished business with her prior life growing up. Phoenix shared a narrative that was running on repeat for herself was she was not enough, love could only be conditional, and this led her to learning art and precision in walking on eggshells. She later moved to West Germany, and later at the age of 21, she moved to New York to be a dancer, and found a way to express herself through dance. Along her journey, Phoenix believed that to be loved, she needed to be what the other wanted her to be. Her auto response became tuning in with every moment and plan her expressions based on what she thought they wanted her to say and how she was expected to behave. Phoenix admits that this was a mask, and this was not her authentic self, this way of expressing herself that she learned was not conscious, but felt the need to wear a mask, deeply entrenched in mass insecurities and filled with self-doubt. Her key message to the listeners is that: healing can happen, believe it; darkness may show up, but it’s not as scary as you think; look at yourself with more courage and fall in love with who you are; you are not alone, whatever you are suffering, you can hide it successfully, but it’s too isolating; isolation creates more shame; ask for help and break the pattern.

Visit Dare to Heal to find out more.

Guest Shoutouts:

Free Radical Self-Love Practice

Facebook Group for Women

Guest Links:
Instagram: Instagram

Facebook: Phoenix Facebook Page

Website: Free Coffee Chat with Phoenix

LinkedIn: LinkedIn

YouTube: Youtube

In his early 20’s, Sergio was living his best life, while performing well in secure employment that was inclusive of salary, pension, benefits, vacation time and all the bells and whistles. Sergio was excelling in his career, landing achievements and promotions, and studying part time. His life took a sharp turn after he sustained severe injuries following a car accident as a passenger coming home from his birthday celebration. Given the driver went into shock, Sergio was the one to make the 911 call to get help, realizing that he was unable to move his body. Sergio shares details of the time it took to get back moving with ease and what it took to get his mobility to increase while his pain level decreased, he found a way to shed fear, anger, and resentment. There were many themes and obstacles that Sergio faced during his rehabilitation journey and transitioning back into his work life, describing a time where he felt like a “disabled guy”. After undergoing his second surgery to remove the hardware put in, he came to heads with seeing limitations in being able to live life the way he did pre-accident. Filled with sadness and despair, Sergio felt behind, self-defeated in areas of his career and healing relationships. Through the thick of it, Sergio described his mental health at the time was impacted by intense anxiety and minor depression, experiencing sadness as he was not able to do the things he enjoyed, performing differently in the workplace, facing irrational fears, and difficulty being a passenger in a vehicle with any driver. His key message to the listeners is that: it is important to slow down because if you are on the go on a regular basis, it can get you into some trouble; even when you want to be in a hurry, you need to slow down, there’s benefit to slowing down, take time to think things through; there is no need to get somewhere so quickly, it can actually slow you down in ways you can’t expect or desire.

Sarah delves into a moment when she was 10 years old experiencing her very first panic attack, not knowing what it was at the time. Growing up in a Christian faith, Sarah believed that she would get the support she needed given her belief that God helps to overcome the sensations of panic – the promise of faith. She later experienced depression in her first year of university when she experienced 3 losses in her life from suicide, heart disease and cancer. The latter was her maternal grandmother whom she saw go through it and then was unable to attend the funeral after she lost her grandmother. At school Sarah suffered a sports injury, which led to losing her hockey scholarship, which prompted her transfer to another University in Ontario. Sarah had a moment of deep understanding after the passing of her grandmother that she needed help to work on her mental wellbeing outside of her many supports at the time. After she completed her undergraduate studies, she reconnected with a friend learning that she was a victim of human trafficking, and after learning this, Sarah panicked that she would lose another person from her life. Sarah wanted to help, at the same time, she didn’t feel credible to help with the issue. After having conversations with others, and Sarah started to catch audiences, it inspired her to compete for the Miss Canada pageantry, while she had to work through imposter syndrome to take the initiative forward, she believed she could through pageantry, and focusing on the cause that she is raising awareness for – anti human trafficking. Her key message to the listeners is that: find out where your identity is; ask yourself what defines you; where are you placing your time, energy and resources and can you potentially reallocate these; remember that you are so loved, even when you don’t feel it.

Sonia’s untold story revolves around her breast cancer diagnosis starting in 2017. She experienced physical and emotional trauma combined with heightened feelings. She had to work hard to overcome overwhelming thoughts and emotional pain when dealing with relationships during her cancer journey. This experience has been eye-opening, particularly in learning who she can rely on as her backbone and who she felt she still needed to support while under-going her own duress. Outwardly, Sonia was perceived to be a strong individual even during her time of challenge, she repeatedly heard the comment, “you got this”, from those around her. She echoed the sentiment herself and kept busy with projects, with the aim to distract her mind. However, internally, her reality was starkly different. Sonia harboured intense fear and anxiety, and kept these and other tough emotions to herself, she didn’t want to bother anyone with her internal experience. The internal struggle took a toll on Sonia. The constant stress she suffered with on the inside, manifested physically on the outside as brain fog, physical exhaustion and felt she needed to keep it together as much as possible. Sonia shared that only few people really showed up for her to support her the way she needed to be, sharing that she felt ignored by many and felt like she didn’t matter. There were some instances she described, where people couldn’t hear her talk about her cancer experience, and these same individuals were not there for her during her time of difficulty. This further affected Sonia as she chose to isolate more to protect herself emotionally, and truly felt that she and her journey of what she underwent medically was not a big deal, resulting in minimizing her true experience. Her key message to the listeners is that: it’s okay not to feel okay, learn this; stop pretending and stop spending time in this energy zapping space; go through your feels; be kind to yourself; do the best you can and remind yourself of this regularly; have gratitude for yourself; process the pain and don’t store it in different places in your body; slow down and process what you are experiencing.

Her untold story reveals the levels of toxicity and bullying Stephanie experienced as she entered
the workforce in a professional capacity, the way in which she tolerated workplace harassment,
and how she eventually learned to handle the distress she endured. Stephanie shared that while
her work role was at an established organization and she was not doing any physical labour, she
found that the emotional and mental toll she experienced because of the workplace toxicity and
negative environment was a great deal of physical impact. She describes feeling extreme fatigue
and burnout, headaches, stomach discomfort, high and low emotions, crying spells, all while not
knowing how she was being treated at work was harassment and toxic and also not being able to
recognize that what she was experiencing was a cause for concern. She assumed this is what
work life was supposed to be like. With all the suffering that Stephanie underwent, she ended up
requiring a medical leave, later being let go from her position. During the peak of her distress,
she was affected by imposter syndrome, and it chipped away at her confidence and her inner
resiliency. She noticed that her personal interactions were impacted, she was not able to stay
present for conversations and events, Stephanie described feeling so low that it was difficult for
her to feel joy. Overall, she explained that she felt completely isolated, alone, didn’t think that
anyone else would understand, even her close friends, and she ended up staying in a negative
feedback loop for some time. Her key message to the listeners is that: pay attention to your gut
and the signals your body gives you; put healthy boundaries in place for yourself and speak up
when you experience that something is not okay; if you are experiencing burnout, this is a red
flag – so it needs to be addressed at its earliest; don’t ignore your internal experiences, because if
you do, it will be detrimental to your health or life circumstances, instead – take action.