Leo, you change the structure of your heart even in your 70s by doing the right things, exercising, eating, and sleeping.

Change your mindset. It isn’t necessarily easy, but you can change your style and do something different to shake things up.

Leo talks about a woman he knew who would deliberately use her opposite, non-dominant hand to help stimulate her brain for something different. Coach jumps in because he brushes his teeth with his left hand in the morning and shaves with his left hand to stimulate that part of his brain.

Leo is right-handed and deals with his left hand when playing cards.

Leo points out that you don't want to give up the power of running the show; you want to control your habits or create habits that work for you.

The coach talks about several more destructive habits, like procrastination and distracting yourself, which can also be a form of procrastination. Other include smoking, poor eating habits, excessive drinking,

Old messages learned and absorbed from family, school, and others, this early learning becomes automatic.

An old Jesuit says, “Give me the child up to age 7, and I show you the person.”

We pick up all kinds of beliefs in our childhood and our lives about what we shouldn't do and what we can and can't do. Leo talks about a woman he met from his high school class. There was a supermarket shopping, and he asked her if she was going to the class reunion, and her response was oh no “ that's for students and rich people.” So the question arises: what stories is she telling herself, and where did she get these stories? Denis and Leo decided to do a separate podcast on the stories we tell ourselves and how they affect our lives.

How do you break a bad habit?

First, you must have an attitude or belief that you can change.

Remind yourself that you are capable. I graduated from high school, went to college, served in the military, and started a small business; whatever you have done or learned proves that you can do things you can change. That belief or those beliefs are really important.

It goes back to the growth mindset, as Carol Dweck wrote in her book “Mindset,”

Leo points out that we're conditioned to commiserate and tend not to look for the positive as much as possible. If you say too much positive, people will look at you like what's up with them.

We tend to want to commiserate...share misery,

Leo mentions Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Developed by Albert Ellis, Ph.D. REBT is a form of psychotherapy that helps a person identify self-defeating thoughts and feelings, challenge the nature of irrational and unproductive feelings, and replace them with healthier, more productive beliefs.

Albert Ellis’Model is ABC

• Activity, or event, what happened?
• Beliefs about the activity or event
• Consequences, our feelings, and behaviors in response to adversity caused by our beliefs

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) focuses on changing irrational beliefs that lead to emotional and behavioral issues. The core of REBT is the ABC model, which stands for Activating Event (A), Beliefs (B), and Consequences (C). Here's a brief overview:

1. Activating Event (A): Any event or situation triggers a reaction. For example, someone was criticizing your work.
2. Beliefs (B): These are your thoughts and beliefs about the activating event. Often, these beliefs can be irrational, such as thinking, "I must never be criticized" or "I am worthless if someone criticizes me."
3. Consequences (C): These are the emotional and behavioral responses resulting from your beliefs, such as feeling depressed or avoiding similar situations in the future.

REBT adds two more steps to help address and change these irrational

Challenging Self-Defeating Thought Patterns

Self-defeating thought patterns often lead to poor decisions and behaviors. When people feel down, they may develop habits of thinking that reinforce negative self-opinions. This negative thinking can become a habitual cycle, making it difficult to break free.

Understanding Distorted Thinking

Distorted thinking involves selective interpretation, focusing on negative aspects and ignoring evidence that contradicts these thoughts. Over time, these patterns can become so ingrained that they feel natural and real, even though they are incomplete or untrue.

Changing Distorted Thought Patterns

These patterns can be changed with practice. Here's an exercise to help you work on changing these thoughts. It may be challenging at first, but it will get easier with persistence.

Noticing Your Usual Thought Patterns

1. Identify one or two things that happened today that challenge the idea that you are ineffective.
2. Reflect on your thoughts about these situations. Did they occur due to your actions or by chance? Did you feel you deserved them? Is this a typical thought pattern for you?

Challenging Distorted Thought Patterns Distorted patterns can be deeply entrenched, becoming biases that interfere with our jobs and relationships. They are often incomplete, untrue, or both, and these beliefs can hold us back.

Always remember the importance of awareness. As the saying goes, "You can't repair if you're unaware." Focus on positive actions you can take today. At the end of the day, reflect on the positive things you did.

Strategies for Positive Change

• Avoid people who bring you down and contribute to misery or "commissary."
• Forget past mistakes and failures. Focus on what you can do now and move forward.
• Use the "fish example": If you think negatively, switch to a positive thought. Just as a fish’s tail moves from one side to the other, you have control over your thoughts.

Techniques for Positive Thinking

• Focus on the positive actions you took today.
• Practice "brainwashing" yourself in a positive direction by developing positive beliefs.
• Changing your thoughts is simple but not easy. As Dr. Andrew Huberman suggests, understanding where thoughts come from and that you can't change your mind with the mind alone is crucial.

Support and Practice

• Pay attention and notice your thoughts. If you’re not aware, you can’t fix anything.
• Think about the qualities you admire in others and strive to embody them.
• Practice regularly: "Wash, rinse, repeat" for your thoughts. Use techniques like RWID (Relative Weighted Importance Duration) to manage your thought patterns.
• Ask yourself: "What would happen if I changed my belief on this?" "Is this really true, or is it something I’ve just picked up along the way?" "Am I doing things to support this negativity that I could change?"
• Check-in with yourself periodically throughout the day to reflect on your thoughts.
• Consider getting a buddy to support you in this process.

By practicing these strategies, you can gain control over your thoughts, change your attitudes, and achieve your goals.

Questions Email: dennis@drdecision&coach.com

#success #procrastination #persondevelopment #Goals #selfimprovment #achieve #accoutibility #self Talk

Dennis McCurdy’s Book

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B7PB8DQY

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Increasing Your Success

Understanding Success Through Luck, Preparation, and Decisions

Luck isn't just about chance—it results from your actions and mindset. It's about putting yourself out there and being ready to seize opportunities. We are all lucky many times in life.

The Traditional View:Luck = Preparation + Opportunity

• Preparation involves openness to experiences, continuous self-education, and readiness to act.
• Opportunity involves actively asking for information, seeking out possibilities, and metaphorically knocking on doors to create chances.

However, luck alone doesn’t guarantee success. There’s a critical step often overlooked:

The Expanded Formula:

Success = Luck + Decisions

• Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity.
• Decisions involve integrating preparation and opportunity into practice, making the necessary choices, and taking action.

Practical Example: A coach shares a story about a property that sat vacant for a year while neighbors hesitated. Within four days of discovering the property, the coach acted, purchased it, rehabbed it, and sold it for a significant profit. This story illustrates that success comes from decisive action while luck presents an opportunity.

Empowerment Through Perspective: Believing that luck is solely about being in the right place at the right time can be disempowering. Instead, recognize that luck happens to everyone—it’s your response to it that matters. As the coach often says, “The universe rewards action.”

Wisdom from Jim Rohn: Jim Rohn emphasizes personal growth and the importance of continual self-improvement:

• Change Yourself to Change Your Circumstances: “If you change, everything will change for you.”
• Seek Self-Betterment: Don’t wish for an easier life; wish to be better. Don’t wish for simpler challenges; wish for more skills. Start working on acquiring and honing new skills.

Rohn's philosophy underscores that your value in the marketplace reflects your skills and contributions, not just the time you put in.

The Coach’s Real Estate Journey: Starting at 23, the coach faced initial failure due to inexperience and tough market conditions. However, this period of learning and growth laid the foundation for future success in real estate and beyond. The key takeaway: The value gained from experiences often outweighs the immediate outcomes.

Becoming a 2%’er: Dennis' mentor, Frank Herberg, points out that only 2% of the people who attend a seminar or workshop actually take action.

Continual Improvement:

• Work Harder on Yourself: Beyond job performance, focus on self-improvement and skill development.
• Keep Learning: Continuous learning is essential both on and off the job. It's a process of constant growth and adaptation.

Upcoming Book:

Coaches’ new book, Unleash the Power of Connection, explores these themes in greater depth and provides insights on leveraging connections and opportunities for personal and professional success.