Leo, you change the structure of your heart even in your 70s by doing the right things, exercising, eating, and sleeping.

Change your mindset. It isn’t necessarily easy, but you can change your style and do something different to shake things up.

Leo talks about a woman he knew who would deliberately use her opposite, non-dominant hand to help stimulate her brain for something different. Coach jumps in because he brushes his teeth with his left hand in the morning and shaves with his left hand to stimulate that part of his brain.

Leo is right-handed and deals with his left hand when playing cards.

Leo points out that you don't want to give up the power of running the show; you want to control your habits or create habits that work for you.

The coach talks about several more destructive habits, like procrastination and distracting yourself, which can also be a form of procrastination. Other include smoking, poor eating habits, excessive drinking,

Old messages learned and absorbed from family, school, and others, this early learning becomes automatic.

An old Jesuit says, “Give me the child up to age 7, and I show you the person.”

We pick up all kinds of beliefs in our childhood and our lives about what we shouldn't do and what we can and can't do. Leo talks about a woman he met from his high school class. There was a supermarket shopping, and he asked her if she was going to the class reunion, and her response was oh no “ that's for students and rich people.” So the question arises: what stories is she telling herself, and where did she get these stories? Denis and Leo decided to do a separate podcast on the stories we tell ourselves and how they affect our lives.

How do you break a bad habit?

First, you must have an attitude or belief that you can change.

Remind yourself that you are capable. I graduated from high school, went to college, served in the military, and started a small business; whatever you have done or learned proves that you can do things you can change. That belief or those beliefs are really important.

It goes back to the growth mindset, as Carol Dweck wrote in her book “Mindset,”

Leo points out that we're conditioned to commiserate and tend not to look for the positive as much as possible. If you say too much positive, people will look at you like what's up with them.

We tend to want to commiserate...share misery,

Leo mentions Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Developed by Albert Ellis, Ph.D. REBT is a form of psychotherapy that helps a person identify self-defeating thoughts and feelings, challenge the nature of irrational and unproductive feelings, and replace them with healthier, more productive beliefs.

Albert Ellis’Model is ABC

• Activity, or event, what happened?
• Beliefs about the activity or event
• Consequences, our feelings, and behaviors in response to adversity caused by our beliefs

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) focuses on changing irrational beliefs that lead to emotional and behavioral issues. The core of REBT is the ABC model, which stands for Activating Event (A), Beliefs (B), and Consequences (C). Here's a brief overview:

1. Activating Event (A): Any event or situation triggers a reaction. For example, someone was criticizing your work.
2. Beliefs (B): These are your thoughts and beliefs about the activating event. Often, these beliefs can be irrational, such as thinking, "I must never be criticized" or "I am worthless if someone criticizes me."
3. Consequences (C): These are the emotional and behavioral responses resulting from your beliefs, such as feeling depressed or avoiding similar situations in the future.

REBT adds two more steps to help address and change these irrational

Challenging Self-Defeating Thought Patterns

Self-defeating thought patterns often lead to poor decisions and behaviors. When people feel down, they may develop habits of thinking that reinforce negative self-opinions. This negative thinking can become a habitual cycle, making it difficult to break free.

Understanding Distorted Thinking

Distorted thinking involves selective interpretation, focusing on negative aspects and ignoring evidence that contradicts these thoughts. Over time, these patterns can become so ingrained that they feel natural and real, even though they are incomplete or untrue.

Changing Distorted Thought Patterns

These patterns can be changed with practice. Here's an exercise to help you work on changing these thoughts. It may be challenging at first, but it will get easier with persistence.

Noticing Your Usual Thought Patterns

1. Identify one or two things that happened today that challenge the idea that you are ineffective.
2. Reflect on your thoughts about these situations. Did they occur due to your actions or by chance? Did you feel you deserved them? Is this a typical thought pattern for you?

Challenging Distorted Thought Patterns Distorted patterns can be deeply entrenched, becoming biases that interfere with our jobs and relationships. They are often incomplete, untrue, or both, and these beliefs can hold us back.

Always remember the importance of awareness. As the saying goes, "You can't repair if you're unaware." Focus on positive actions you can take today. At the end of the day, reflect on the positive things you did.

Strategies for Positive Change

• Avoid people who bring you down and contribute to misery or "commissary."
• Forget past mistakes and failures. Focus on what you can do now and move forward.
• Use the "fish example": If you think negatively, switch to a positive thought. Just as a fish’s tail moves from one side to the other, you have control over your thoughts.

Techniques for Positive Thinking

• Focus on the positive actions you took today.
• Practice "brainwashing" yourself in a positive direction by developing positive beliefs.
• Changing your thoughts is simple but not easy. As Dr. Andrew Huberman suggests, understanding where thoughts come from and that you can't change your mind with the mind alone is crucial.

Support and Practice

• Pay attention and notice your thoughts. If you’re not aware, you can’t fix anything.
• Think about the qualities you admire in others and strive to embody them.
• Practice regularly: "Wash, rinse, repeat" for your thoughts. Use techniques like RWID (Relative Weighted Importance Duration) to manage your thought patterns.
• Ask yourself: "What would happen if I changed my belief on this?" "Is this really true, or is it something I’ve just picked up along the way?" "Am I doing things to support this negativity that I could change?"
• Check-in with yourself periodically throughout the day to reflect on your thoughts.
• Consider getting a buddy to support you in this process.

By practicing these strategies, you can gain control over your thoughts, change your attitudes, and achieve your goals.

Questions Email: dennis@drdecision&coach.com

#success #procrastination #persondevelopment #Goals #selfimprovment #achieve #accoutibility #self Talk

Dennis McCurdy’s Book

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B7PB8DQY

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Increasing Your Success

Understanding Success Through Luck, Preparation, and Decisions

Luck isn't just about chance—it results from your actions and mindset. It's about putting yourself out there and being ready to seize opportunities. We are all lucky many times in life.

The Traditional View:Luck = Preparation + Opportunity

• Preparation involves openness to experiences, continuous self-education, and readiness to act.
• Opportunity involves actively asking for information, seeking out possibilities, and metaphorically knocking on doors to create chances.

However, luck alone doesn’t guarantee success. There’s a critical step often overlooked:

The Expanded Formula:

Success = Luck + Decisions

• Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity.
• Decisions involve integrating preparation and opportunity into practice, making the necessary choices, and taking action.

Practical Example: A coach shares a story about a property that sat vacant for a year while neighbors hesitated. Within four days of discovering the property, the coach acted, purchased it, rehabbed it, and sold it for a significant profit. This story illustrates that success comes from decisive action while luck presents an opportunity.

Empowerment Through Perspective: Believing that luck is solely about being in the right place at the right time can be disempowering. Instead, recognize that luck happens to everyone—it’s your response to it that matters. As the coach often says, “The universe rewards action.”

Wisdom from Jim Rohn: Jim Rohn emphasizes personal growth and the importance of continual self-improvement:

• Change Yourself to Change Your Circumstances: “If you change, everything will change for you.”
• Seek Self-Betterment: Don’t wish for an easier life; wish to be better. Don’t wish for simpler challenges; wish for more skills. Start working on acquiring and honing new skills.

Rohn's philosophy underscores that your value in the marketplace reflects your skills and contributions, not just the time you put in.

The Coach’s Real Estate Journey: Starting at 23, the coach faced initial failure due to inexperience and tough market conditions. However, this period of learning and growth laid the foundation for future success in real estate and beyond. The key takeaway: The value gained from experiences often outweighs the immediate outcomes.

Becoming a 2%’er: Dennis' mentor, Frank Herberg, points out that only 2% of the people who attend a seminar or workshop actually take action.

Continual Improvement:

• Work Harder on Yourself: Beyond job performance, focus on self-improvement and skill development.
• Keep Learning: Continuous learning is essential both on and off the job. It's a process of constant growth and adaptation.

Upcoming Book:

Coaches’ new book, Unleash the Power of Connection, explores these themes in greater depth and provides insights on leveraging connections and opportunities for personal and professional success.

Pre-crastination refers to the tendency to rush to complete tasks as soon as possible, often to alleviate the mental burden of having them pending. This behavior is driven by the desire to clear one's mind of tasks, even if it means prioritizing less important or less urgent activities over those that are more significant or time-sensitive.

Unlike procrastination, where individuals delay important tasks in favor of more pleasurable activities, pre-crastination involves completing tasks quickly to achieve relief and mental clarity. While it might seem productive, pre-crastination can lead to inefficient use of time and energy, as one may focus on easier or less critical tasks at the expense of more important ones that require thoughtful planning and execution.

Managing precrastination, paying attention to the following:

• When
• How
• Why

When is this happening, how is my pre-crastination hurting me, and why do I have to do it now?

1. Why am I rushing into this?
2. How can I do this better? For example, I can prioritize my tasks, what's urgent, and what's urgent and important. Take 2 minutes to sit down and think about what needs to be done, when, and what I need to complete the task. Also, understanding the pre-crastination can lead to mistakes or sloppy work.
3. How can I do this better? For example, I can prioritize my tasks, what's urgent, and what's urgent and important. Simply take 2 minutes to sit down and think about what needs to be done, when, and what I need to complete the task. Also, understanding the pre-crastination can lead to mistakes or sloppy work.

Weigh the pros and cons of starting early because starting early without being prepared is worse than procrastinating. Sometimes, pre-crastination can be worse because we could rush through something unprepared and have misplaced effort. Think about the effort or extra effort if you do the thing ineffectively. How much better and enjoyable will your work be if you have everything you need? It's important to acknowledge that you may need more resources to complete the task and not let the desire override the facts.

Question your choice to get started, and ask why you. I want to start right now with this.
Think about creating an outline, breaking things down into small steps, and seeing what needs to be done now versus waiting until later, assuming you have all the necessary information and the time to get it done.

Author Alan Laikin said sometimes you can break tasks down to one minute, get one minute of work done, and then move on. Laikin called this the Swiss cheese method. If you poke enough holes in the project like Swiss cheese, eventually, it gets done.

Coach likes to get things done in 2-minute intervals, especially since he doesn't care much. One reason is that he doesn't have enough excuses not to do two minutes.
To that same point, the coach does not like it when someone shows up at his office 15 minutes early because they're sitting in the reception area, and he thinks I got to get out there, but I've still got things I want to do. So if your grandfather told you to arrive 15 minutes early, that's fine. Stay in your car, LOL, because you assume the person just sitting there waiting for you is not; they're probably busy.
Leo waited and scheduled the task; the coach suggested time-blocking

Leo likes to list the things that need to be done, underlining the most important and then Circling the next most important. The next day, if the other of the main things got done the prior day, then this could change, and the item that was not circled Could end up being circled or underlined in red. It's a great way to prioritize things.

The coach suggests that it's a skill of deciding what comes first and what's important.

The coach mentions the Eisenhower Matrix as

ANXIETY CAN BE AN ASSET

Anxiety can be an asset in your life if appropriately managed..

~John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley: In Search of America

We are not talking about crippling anxiety; we are talking about the small feelings that often stop us from taking action.

People may not realize it is anxiety, aka fear and doubt.

Life is hard to understand, and that makes it easier.

~M. Scott Peck

Anxiety creates a tendency to procrastinate if it does:

• Stop paying attention to your thought
• What’s the worst that can happen
• Can I handle it

Accepting anxiety into one’s life instead of always taking a pill is a start to looking at anxiety differently. Taking a pill does work; however, it does not solve the problem.

This may appear contradictory to current messages that anxiety should be “cured.” In some extreme cases, eliminating symptoms may be needed.

You are projecting what’s going to happen. Leo gives the example that when he leaves here today, he won't have any anxiety about getting his car and driving home; he could think about bad things, but they're not likely to happen. The coach mentions, however, that the difference would be the first time you got in a car and drove. You have a lot of anxiety because you haven't had the confidence and the skill yet. And, of course, if you didn't overcome that anxiety, you never drive a car.

Increasing our understanding of anxiety and our discomfort with the unknown can show the function of anxiety as a signal that something important is occurring.

Two women who carried Ativan but never took them;

One had an elevator phobia, and she was taking Ativan to release her anxiety.

The second woman had Ativan, but she wasn’t taking the pills. She keeps the pills in her pocket in case she needs them, like a security, the “Placebo Effect.” “

By looking at anxiety meaningfully, it can reveal things about the state of our lives.

The goal is to use anxiety as information to improve our functioning.

The client had issues with trucks, especially when she saw a truck behind her; she would pull over and let the truck by. When Leo asked her about that, she said that six months earlier, she'd been hit in the rear by a truck. A form of low-level PTSD

Anxiety is an unavoidable dimension of the human experience. The key is to use your anxiety as information to improve functioning.

Sometimes, anxiety is so mild that we don't even notice it; we might say to ourselves, “Oh, I don't feel like doing this or that.” When you get those feelings, it's good to start questioning yourself: Why am I feeling this? What's going on with me?

Engaging in the anxiety and thinking about it can help.

It is how we respond to anxiety that matters most. Our response influences whether and how anxiety may be meaningfully used to learn about oneself and become more effective in your life and work.

Attempts to deny anxiety or push it aside can result in a great deal of problems that we experience today, such as violence and over-consumption, which are typical of current ideas.

We can become overwhelmed with anxiety because we refuse to face and deal with it. Engaging with anxiety will help in acquiring its positive effects and life-enhancing effects.

Choose to Be Happy

Happiness is a choice.
Happiness on the job, happiness in life
How long will you wait before you demand the best for yourself?

Not jumping up and down happiness but general contentment and satisfaction.

“People are about as happy as they make up their mind to b.”
this was said both by Will Rogers and Abraham Lincoln

Research shows that even if you force a smile, it can help you feel better off in the action that leads the mind.

Coach refers to the work by Amy Cuddy, an American social psychologist, author, and speaker.
In her talk, she often talks about body movement and refers to the Wonder Woman pose as a way to bring up your mood and feel more powerful in the moment.

You can't think your way into happiness but can physically act your way.

Victor Frankel said you worked at things or some project, and you feel happier.
This ties into our previous podcast, where we talked about self-efficacy.
Much of this goes to mindset, as the coach says: You can clean toilets and be happy and miserable, as well as a CEO.

Things that we think will make us happy, like a new car, ultimately just become another thing. A new purchase of anything often lasts as little as six weeks, like the purchase of a car. It is more in accomplishing things than the challenges we find happiness in doing.
The person cleaning or waxing the floors doing a good job feels happy, and the job feels better because they are so glad.

Coach always liked the saying, “Do what you love, or love what you do.”

We need to decide to demand more for ourselves. In other words, I want to do more. Coach clarifies by saying both demand for yourself and demand of yourself.

Realizing that we only have a limited amount of time on this earth—and we often forget that—can help us realize that we need to demand more of ourselves and from ourselves to fill and fulfill Our Lives.

An important concept to remember is that no matter what you do or what you buy, what's going on in your life, sometimes it's going to suck; they're going to be obstacles; it's just part of life; expect it, and accept it. Remember that most things pass, both good and bad.

One thing that can enhance happiness, learning new skills

Leo refers to the book Make Your Bed First by Admiral William H McRaven.

Paying attention to what you say to yourself.
Control what you can and let go of what you can't
Stop banging your head

Happiness is the pursuit of a worthwhile goal
~Earl Nightingale

Having a team to work with is motivating and can induce happiness!
We are social beings.

Dennis’ new books should be out in late June 2024:

Unleashing the Power of Connection
Discover the power of accountability partners and Mastermind groups: Stop procrastinating, build better habits, achieve your goals, and succeed.

“Live your life like it’s your last day,” Leo quips. “I did; now I am broke and in debt.”

Better live like you will die tomorrow, but live like you will live forever.

The best thing to do is pick one or two ideas and follow through.

You don’t necessarily need more money to make you happy, or once you reach a certain level, more money isn’t as important as other things you may want to do.


Tips & Tools
First, make your bed
Try new things
Do what you love or love what you do
Pay attention to your mindset, thoughts, and attitudes.
Change your internal talk-self talk
Eliminate toxic people
Get clear
Set boundaries
Learn to say no

Book What Do You Say When You Talk To Yourself, Shad Helmster Ph.D.

Self Efficacy-Can & Can’t
Optimizing self-efficacy.
What the heck is that?
The belief is that an individual can get the desired outcomes.
The concept originated in Stoics.

Components of Self-efficacy

1. Building on small successes
2. Seeing others succeed
3. Getting encouragement

The Serenity Prayer: an offshoot of the Stoics

• Control what you can
• Let go of what you can’t
• Learning the difference

Control what you can, your activities, what you do each day, and your career. You can't control the government, the economy, or other people; you can only control yourself, which can be hard enough.

Mindset and what you believe or have been told what to believe are important.

Dr. Decison suggests that even if we can't change something now, it may be good to hope that we can change it later.

Hope; adopt the philosophy of “Not Yet,” a belief that you will get there.

Drawing from past successes, we can garner confidence and belief that we can achieve something new.

Leo saw a handkerchief in the store once containing a quote by Marilyn Monroe. When she was faced with making a decision, it said, “What the hell? “ This was supposedly her attitude when faced with a challenge or something new.
Even when something is out of our control, we still have power. We can still make choices and decisions. We always have the power to decide which way to go.

When a situation occurs, most people run off the principle of “Stimulus Respond.”

Barry Kaufman of the Option Institute suggests we consider “Simulus--Belief—Respond.” In other words, stop and ask yourself what you believe and think about that before responding.

Use ABC Method
Activity-what happen
Belief-examine the belief
Consequence-the belief controls the consequences
Always sticking with your values
No matter the situation, there's always a choice, a decision, and no one can take that away from you. You may not always like the possibilities or the potential outcomes, but it's still your choice, your decision.

The author of the Dilbert comic strip, Scott Adams, had tons of jobs and said, “I learned something from each job.”
We often can’t control a situation but can control how we react.
When we can no longer change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Tips

1. Start small
2. Get support
3. Remember “Not Yet”
4. Never miss two days in a row if you are starting something new; then you are at least at 50%

When we can no longer change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Email: dennis@drdecision&coach.com

#success #procrastination # confidence # Personal development

Understanding the distinction between accountability and responsibility is pivotal. While one can be accountable and responsible, these concepts don't always align seamlessly. Take, for example, the role of an individual, such as a small business owner; they might find themselves both responsible for various tasks and accountable for the outcomes.
Imagine accountability as a practice where every action and its consequences are meticulously counted. The essence of "accountability" inherently involves "counting." In other words, it's about meticulously tracking every action because every action carries weight; numbers serve as unwavering indicators. Consider the anecdote of Leo's early days in sales at Cleveland Electronics: his mentor's advice to carry 30 coins, transferring one from the left pocket to the right pocket with each conversation until all coins are on the right side, exemplifies this principle. This practice epitomizes accountability—a tangible representation of counting every interaction and ensuring that each one contributes to the desired outcome before calling it a day.
Tracking activities is essential for progress monitoring, performance evaluation, resource management, accountability, decision-making, and fostering communication and collaboration within teams. It enables individuals and organizations to stay focused, improve efficiency, and achieve their goals effectively.

Leo says he sometimes takes on too much and gets overloaded, and Coach does, too. One critical factor that can undermine the success of your goals or projects is overloading yourself, taking on more than you can handle. This overload can jeopardize task quality and timely completion, ultimately derailing your progress. Therefore, it is essential to recognize your limits and refrain from overcommitting. Part of fulfilling your responsibilities involves managing your workload wisely, ensuring you take on only what you can feasibly accomplish."


Understanding your role and knowing your responsibilities are 100% essential. And if other people were involved in conveying their responsibilities, how would they be accountable to you and the project or whatever needs to be done?

Here is a note: If you mess up, fess up.

A clear understanding of your role and responsibilities is paramount for success. In situations where multiple individuals are involved, accountability becomes crucial. How can others ensure accountability to both you and the project's objectives? This entails transparent communication, mutual agreement on tasks, and a shared commitment to meeting expectations. By establishing accountability mechanisms, individuals can uphold their responsibilities and contribute effectively to the project's success."


Utilize your time effectively. When things go awry, pause and reflect on your actions. What went wrong? How can you rectify the situation? Building accountability involves recognizing self-defeating behaviors, such as overcommitting or getting distracted. Taking personal responsibility is key to fostering accountability. The objective is to prevent future mistakes by learning from past experiences. This process is termed as a "tactical debriefing."
Research indicates accountability thrives in environments where oversight exists, posing challenges for solopreneurs. However, establishing accountability through partners, supervisors, or bosses is feasible in collaborative settings. Implementing checkpoints ensures ongoing accountability. For solo endeavors, seek external resources to replicate this structure. Accountability partners, goal buddies, and Mastermind groups are invaluable resources endorsed by coaches for maintaining accountability.

Have you ever been in a situation where you're engaged in an activity and suddenly notice a picture of someone you deeply care about nearby? It's intriguing how some people instinctively shift or obscure the picture, as i