In this episode, we talk about burnout — a big, scary topic that’s been very front of mind for us lately. It feels like we’ve hit a collective wall, and we thought better understanding burnout might help us start to move past it. We get clear on what burnout looks like, how it shows up, and how to identify when we’re feeling it. We talk about the different types of burnout; pandemic-related, professional, or personal and cover some mechanisms to deal with them.

We get real honest (and heated) about advocating for ourselves at work in a capitalist system that hinges our worth on our output. We talk about tools to avoid burnout and discuss the issues facing millennials (aka: the generational obsession with optimizing ourselves). Finally, we talk about how self-care has been co-opted into an industry that pressures us to constantly look to improve ourselves. Essentially, you’ll be listening in on an honest conversation about a difficult period in our lives.

Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.

Ep 09: How Do We Become More Resilient?

Burnout Book By Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski

Millennial Burnout - Buzzfeed

Smartphone Study - UTexas

In this episode, we talk to our very first guest— Tight Club founder Keighty Gallagher— about her work, her life, and the story of Tight Club. Keighty was a lifelong athlete, but when her relationship with movement turned toxic it fuelled a passion to help rewrite the language of fitness in a way that centred joy and positivity. Keighty built a business based on community and has remained true to her values and vision through all the different forms Tight Club has taken throughout the years.

We talk to Keighty about leading with vulnerability and humility, and ask her how we can do big things (even without having all of the answers). We learn about the Karate Kid mentality of dealing with ~feedback~ and discuss how we can lean into curiosity and kindness — both with ourselves and with others. We dig into the idea of community, including how it feels to be part of one and why it’s important (otherwise we’re just ants running around without pants). KG champions inclusivity and living boldly, and has worked incredibly hard to redefine the fitness industry in a way that feel safe for all. We hope you’re as inspired as we were by this conversation!

If you want to try out TCTV (Tight Club’s movement platform), you can use the code TIGHTMESS to receive 15% off your first month on the platform after your free 7-day trial.

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Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to be a part of our conversations in future episodes!

Find Keighty and Tight Club on Instagram @keightythousand + @tightclub Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand

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Ep 06: Do Our Emotions Affect Our Health?

Ep 17: When Does Positivity Become Toxic?

Book: Dare to Lead by Brene Brown

Brené Brown

Non-violent Communication Book

What is tapping? More Info Here

Humble Leadership - Forbes Article

In this episode we explore the concept of toxic positivity and to be honest... it rocks our world. We take a test to see if we are toxically positive, spoiler: we do real bad. We share a TED Talk that helped us understand how we can be there for the people we love without dismissing their feelings. Kelsey opens up about a recent tough experience and how those around her responded, and Kyla shares how ignoring her feelings for too long resulted in an ulcer.

We get uncomfy this episode learning new things and discovering areas where we fall short. We learn that emotions are data we can use to uncover our values, and that ignoring them will only make them louder. We cover the importance of leaning into the messiness of life so that we can experience the good stuff at full volume. A key moment: discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life — oh yeah, let that sink in. To summarize, we learn that having good vibes only isn’t really good after all.

Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.

• Ep 09: How Do We Become More Resilient

• Toxic Positivity Test
• Ted Talk: The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage
• Unfuck Your Brain Podcast
• The Body Keeps The Score Book
• Brené Brown
• Non-violent Communication Book

• What is the Vagus Nerve
• More on the Vagus Nerve
• Vagal Tone Exercises
• Repressed Emotions
• Reptillian vs. Mammalian Brain
• “It’s Okay to Not be Okay” - Harvard Business Review

In this episode we explore a potentially touchy topic — feeling like our lives have been at a standstill over the past year. We cover how to check in with yourself to decide if your current vibes are no longer serving you and offer ways to break out of Pandemic Limbo Land. 

We check in with the Educated Messes community to find out how we’ve all been feeling lately, reflect on the best things we’ve done for our mental health, and contemplate if it’s important to move forward in our lives and if so.. how do we do it? Kyla’s back in therapy, Kelsey feels weird about peloton, and we both have been turning to hobbies that force us to be present. We discuss findings from a study on happiness, noodle on building habits to combat perfectionism, and decide that starting now we want to give ourselves permission to create, share, explore, and have fun. 

Follow us on instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.

• Ep 09: How Do We Become More Resilient
• Ep 15: Why is it So Hard to Make Friends?
• Ep 14: New Year, Same Us (But Growing)
• Ep 07: Are “Shoulds” Making Us Unhappy

• We’re Not Really Strangers Game
• Atomic Habits
• Stacey Abrams TED Talk
• Daylio App (Mood/ Habit Tracking)

In this episode we explore a hot topic: friendship in your mid-to-late 20s. We cover making them, keeping them, losing them, and how they might change and grow with time. We share our 13 year friendship origin story, consider how hard it is to move from “friendship dating” to “friendship official”, and discuss friendship-related thoughts and feelings shared by the Educated Messes community. 

We contemplate whether we’re happy with the number of friends we have, if we think it’s easy or hard to make new friends, and reflect on how our friendship has changed over the past decade. We consider how important communication and boundaries are in friendship and Kyla drops a hot tip on how you can better express your feelings. We learn why it’s important to our happiness that we talk to strangers and decide we should normalize sliding into peoples’ dm’s to be friends because at the end of the day, life’s short — tell people you think they’re cute.

Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.

Non Violent Communication - Find the Book Here

The Feelings Wheel - Find it Here

Daring Greatly - Brené Brown

Tight Club

The Happiness Lab - Find it Here

Esther Perel

(Educated Messes is not sponsored or affiliated with any of these companies/ products)

“Talking to strangers can boost your happiness level” - CBC Article Here

“Want To Feel Happier Today? Try Talking To A Stranger” - NPR Article Here

In this episode we get super vulnerable and a little in our feelings as we reflect on 2020 (aka: these trying times). We talk about memories we want to remember from the past year, what we want to let go of, and what we want more of in 2021. We consider the lessons that this year taught us — slow down, focus on connection, and try to trust (and maybe occasionally find joy in) the process.

Kyla learned life lessons in pottery, Kelsey cleansed her feed of “rise and grind” people, and Kyla decided her new mantra is “good enough is good enough”. We both drop a bunch of quotes (as always), talk about how we’re going to better care for ourselves and our communities this year, and touch on the importance of therapies as well as a few methods to access it. To summarize — 2020 was “okay” and we’re going to try to enjoy the journey in 2021 (whatever that may be).

In this episode we discuss dealing with stress and emotional exhaustion during 2020. We weigh in on the importance of emotional regulation —  which is the ability to align how you’re feeling with how you want to feel — and note that icky feelings are our brain’s natural alarm system. We explore tools and techniques for how we might better process and learn from our emotions, rather than suppressing or ruminating on them.

Kelsey plugs some hot customer service tips, Kyla plugs mindfulness (obviously), and Kelsey claims drinking 7 cups of coffee a day makes you live longer (spoiler alert: not true). We both share what stress and anxiety physically feel like in our bodies, how we check in with our needs, and how we’ve been coping with all the Big Feelings this year. Kelsey teaches us how psychological and temporal distancing can help us think more logically and Kyla decides that a lot of life is about suffering. Also, Kelsey hates baths.

Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.

In this episode we discuss if committing to something for a long time — whether it’s a relationship or a job — makes us nervous. We dip our toes into Attachment Theory, share our attachment styles, and touch on the anxious-avoidant trap. We contemplate if you need to know yourself before you can love someone else and reflect on how it can be easy to lose yourself in a relationship.

Kelsey has beef with the idea that you should be with someone who challenges you and says she would “walk into the ocean” if someone told her she should work harder. We both share what our current relationships have taught us, ponder if being in a relationship means you have to give up your freedom and explore the difference between interdependence and codependence. We weigh the value in shattering glass ceilings vs. settling down and decide that you don’t actually have to want one thing forever because ultimately, it’s up to you.