Episodios

  • E.238 Part 2 How Shift Work, Hypervigilance, And Silence Erode Love—and What We Can Do About It
    Jan 9 2026

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    In part 2 with Alexa Silva, we discuss how love doesn’t clock out when the tones drop. We sat down to unpack what really happens when a first responder’s world of shift work, hypervigilance, and on-call stress collides with the everyday demands of family life—and why even strong couples can drift into silence, scorekeeping, and resentment without clear structure and care.

    Across a candid, fast-moving conversation, we dig into how intimacy has to evolve over time, especially when schedules are brutal and sleep is scarce. We talk about the danger of tallying sex and affection, the quiet slide into emotional affairs powered by loneliness and praise, and the small, steady actions that rebuild safety: consistent compliments, micro-moments of touch, and explicit “ask for what you need” scripts. You’ll hear practical frameworks for decompression after shifts, deciding whether you want listening or solutions, and using shared calendars to lower friction when overtime or call-outs derail plans.

    We also get honest about money, overtime, and the resentment loop that forms when one partner feels like both parents while the other chases a bigger paycheck. There’s a path out: monthly “state of us” check-ins, clear rules for spending, and tradeoffs made in daylight instead of assumptions made in anger. We cover role clarity—your spouse can be your partner, not your therapist—plus the kind of self-care that actually restores a nervous system hammered by trauma exposure. Whether you’re a cop, firefighter, medic, dispatcher, or the person holding down the fort at home, these tools meet the reality of your life.

    If you’re ready to replace mind reading with honest asks and turn resentment into repair, hit play. Then tell us what changed after you tried one tool. Subscribe, share with your crew, and leave a review to help more first responder families find the support they deserve.

    To reach Alexa, here is the link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/alexa-silva-chelmsford-ma/1140390

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    32 m
  • E.238 Part 1 Inside The Therapy Room: Addiction, Culture, And Trust
    Jan 7 2026

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    The badge asks for everything, then hands you a shift change and a smile. We sat down with returning guest, licensed clinical social worker Alexis Silva, to dig into the quiet realities behind the uniform: why trust is scarce, why stigma is sticky, and how substance use becomes a steady companion long before it becomes a crisis. Alexis works almost exclusively with first responders, military, and veterans, and brings her own sobriety and family experience to the table. That honesty opens a door many are afraid to touch—because careers are on the line, documentation feels risky, and walking into a room where you don’t have to translate the language of the job can be the difference between shutting down and speaking up.

    We break apart common myths: not every struggle is trauma from the job; for many, it starts with childhood adversity, genetics, and family patterns. Alcohol, THC, and benzos promise relief and steal sleep, fueling irritability, poor decisions, and conflict at home. We unpack the tipping point where use shifts from choice to maintenance—when your body drives the next drink—and why matching care to risk matters. Sometimes inpatient comes first, then outpatient therapy and groups, so progress isn’t crushed by daily stress. We also go beyond substances to behavioral addictions like gambling, tracing how the chase hooks into the same adrenaline circuits that make first responders so good under pressure.

    Across the hour, we map practical steps you can use today: how to assess risk without shame, how to reset routines every few career years, what honest partner check-ins sound like, and how peer support and culturally competent clinicians reduce fear of being “the problem” at the station. If you’ve wondered whether your coping is helping or hiding, this conversation offers a clear path forward—grounded, direct, and built for people who don’t have time for fluff.

    If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a teammate, and leave a quick review to help other first responders find it. Your story isn’t a liability—it’s a starting point.

    If you want to reach Alexa, please go to https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/alexa-silva-chelmsford-ma/1140390

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    29 m
  • E.237 Best of 2025: How A Police Sergeant Faced Trauma And Found A Path Back
    Dec 31 2025

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    The most downloaded conversation of the year returns for a reason: it’s the raw, practical guide first responders and their families keep asking for. We sit with Sgt. Michael Sugrue—Air Force security forces veteran, Walnut Creek Police sergeant, and author of Relentless Courage—to talk about the weight of hundreds of traumatic calls, how a 2012 shooting upended his life, and the exact steps that pulled him back from the edge.

    Michael breaks down why suicide remains the top threat for police, fire, EMS, and dispatch: a culture that prizes invincibility, training that skips mental readiness, and an identity so fused to the job that retirement can feel like free fall. He explains how “silent” suicides hide in line‑of‑duty risks, why official counts underreport the crisis, and what leadership must do to turn the tide. We go deep on solutions: culturally competent therapy, confidential peer lines, retreats like West Coast Post‑Trauma Retreat and Save A Warrior, and daily practices—meditation, gratitude, strength work, honest conversations—that sustain real resilience.

    We also challenge common myths. Therapy doesn’t take your gun; it gives you your life back. EMDR helps many but not all; the real power is a personalized toolkit. Early intervention keeps stress acute and treatable; waiting turns injuries into entrenched patterns that cost careers and families. Michael’s book, co‑authored with Dr. Shauna Springer, bridges the gap between gut‑level storytelling and clear psychology, giving responders and loved ones a shared language to start hard conversations and map a path forward.

    If you serve—or love someone who does—this is a roadmap to stay in the fight without losing yourself. Hit play, share it with a partner or teammate, and let’s normalize help as a standard of care. If the episode resonates, subscribe, leave a quick review, and pass it to one person who needs to hear it today.

    You can reach Michael on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sgtmichaelsugrue?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app

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    40 m
  • E.236 We Celebrate A Year Of Hard Lessons, Healing Wins, And The People Who Keep First Responders Going
    Dec 26 2025

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    From crime and trauma scene cleanup to midnight dispatch and station kitchens, we gathered the most powerful lessons from a year of conversations with first responders, clinicians.

    Here are the links for all the episodes:

    Krista Gregg (E.188): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-188

    Jessica Jamieson (E.192): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-192

    Beth Salmo (E.204): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-204

    Elizabeth Ecklund (E.207): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-207

    Gordon Brewer (E.211): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-211

    Bill Dwinnells (E.220): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-220

    Deidre Gestrin (E.221): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-221

    Adam Neff (E.222): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-222

    Renae Mansfield (E.225): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-225

    Amanda Rizoli (E.227): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-227

    Blythe Landry (E.228): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-228

    Stephanie Simpson (E.229): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-229

    Lisa Trusas (E.231): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-231

    Joe Rizzuti (E.233): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-233

    Justin Jacobs (E.235): https://

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    34 m
  • E.235 How Unprocessed Loss Fuels Burnout And What To Do About It
    Dec 22 2025

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    When the lights are flashing and the clock is ticking, we train for everything—except the weight we carry home. We sit down with Coast Guard veteran and grief coach Justin Jacobs to unpack the invisible load of moral injury, the shock of losing the uniform, and the quiet ways unprocessed grief leaks into performance, relationships, and health. From the chaos of capsized boats to the stillness after a tough outcome, Justin names what many feel and few say out loud.

    We explore how grief hides inside anxiety, depression, and burnout, and why so many transitions—retirement, reassignment, even a “first civilian job”—feel harder than expected. Justin explains decision fatigue after service, when structure vanishes and every choice suddenly feels permanent. He offers a simple reframe: plan early, expect detours, and treat course corrections as progress, not failure. Along the way, we draw clear parallels between the Coast Guard and first responders—rapid action, limited bench strength, and constant pressure to move on to the next call.

    Most importantly, we get practical. Think “mental PPE”: a shared vocabulary for moral injury, short decompressions after hard calls, peer check-ins that don’t try to fix but do make space to feel. We talk about what genuinely helps the bereaved—curiosity, presence, honest permission to tell the whole truth about the person who’s gone—and what to retire forever, including hollow platitudes that minimize real pain. Justin’s own story of loss and growth brings empathy and precision to every tool he shares.

    If you serve, lead, or love someone who does, this conversation is a field guide for staying human under pressure and building a culture that protects people as fiercely as it protects the mission. Listen, share with your crew, and tell us what “mental PPE” looks like in your world. If this resonates, follow, rate, and review so more first responders can find it—and subscribe for more candid, actionable conversations.

    His Instagram is @manlygrief

    His Website is: http://www.manlygrief.com


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    42 m
  • E. 234 Why Pairing Clinicians With Police Saves Lives And Community Trust (Part 2)
    Dec 19 2025

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    What if the most powerful tool on a crisis scene isn’t a badge or a diagnosis, but a practiced partnership? We continue our conversation with Dr. Sarah Abbott about co-response and unpack how pairing clinicians with police changes the outcome of calls involving mental health, substance use, and high-stress events—from domestic incidents with kids present to house fires and welfare checks where information is thin.

    We trace the arc from a pioneering certificate at William James College to statewide intensives built on scenario-based, hands-on training. Instead of chasing labels, the curriculum teaches behavior reading, de-escalation under pressure, and language that preserves dignity while lowering risk. We dig into veterans’ mental health and firearm culture, highlighting lethal means safety training that helps clinicians speak credibly about storage, temporary transfer, and time-limited access without shaming or seizing. A vivid field story shows how clear communication with dispatch and officers can soften the room, protect everyone on scene, and build trust that lasts past one call.

    The conversation widens to where co-response goes next. Through Abbott Solutions for Justice and the International Co-Responder Alliance, these practices are spreading across states and overseas, with growing momentum on college campuses that function like small cities. We explore why campus police and clinicians need shared playbooks, how programs like Johns Hopkins are leading, and what it takes to turn skepticism into skill—consistently, respectfully, and at scale. If you care about first responder wellness, community safety, and practical tools that work at 2 a.m., this is your roadmap for doing crisis response better.

    Subscribe for more conversations on co-response, first responder mental health, and practical de-escalation. Share this episode with a colleague who needs these tools, and leave a quick review to help others find the show.

    To reach Sarah, please visit her website at: https://www.abbottsolutionsforjustice.com

    Sarah can also befound on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/company/abbott-solutions-for-justice-llc/?viewAsMember=true


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    23 m
  • E.234 From Arrests To Care: Building A Smarter Crisis Response For First Responders (Part 1)
    Dec 16 2025

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    Crises rarely look like TV. Most calls aren’t bank robberies; they’re frantic welfare checks, neighbor standoffs over fences, a parent terrified for a missing teen, or someone hearing voices at 2 a.m. We sit down with Dr. Sarah Abbott, a pioneer of the police–clinician co-response model, to unpack how pairing a trained clinician with officers at the point of contact reshapes outcomes: fewer arrests, fewer injuries, and far more dignity for the person in distress.

    Sarah shares the origin story from Massachusetts, where “jail diversion” began as a humane alternative for low-level offenses tangled with mental illness and grew into a comprehensive crisis response approach now spreading nationally and internationally. We get honest about the early skepticism and what changed minds: consistent data, strong command support, and the day-to-day reality that most police work involves behavioral health, not crime. We also go inside Section 12—involuntary transport in Massachusetts—and why sending officers with little background information is risky for everyone. The fix is coordination and clarity: share what you legally can, add a clinician to the response, and approach the door with a plan rooted in safety and rapport.

    Training is the force multiplier. Sarah breaks down how academy curricula evolved to center practical de-escalation and communication, then explains why the biggest gains come later with advanced, scenario-driven refreshers once officers have real street context. We talk tactics for engaging someone in psychosis without lying or escalating, why 988 is essential but not a complete substitute, and how blending 988, CIT, and co-response builds a smarter, safer safety net. We close with Sarah’s work at William James College and the new Center for Crisis Response and Behavioral Health, designed to scale what works across departments and borders.

    If you care about first responder mental health, public safety, and better outcomes for people in crisis, this conversation offers a clear roadmap. Listen, share it with your team, and leave a review so more agencies can find these tools and put them to work in their communities.

    To reach Sarah, please visit her website at: https://www.abbottsolutionsforjustice.com

    Sarah can also befound on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/company/abbott-solutions-for-justice-llc/?viewAsMember=true

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    29 m
  • E. 233 Why Role Loss After Service Can Turn Deadly And What Actually Helps (Part 2)
    Dec 12 2025

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    The silence after the last shift can be deafening. We dive into what really happens when the badge comes off and the calls stop, tracing the steep drop from team identity and adrenaline to isolation, substance use, and rising suicide risk. With honesty and urgency, we unpack why retirement hits first responders so hard and outline a practical safety net that works in the real world.

    We talk through the addictive rhythm of police, fire, EMS, and corrections work—why the culture bonds like family, and why role loss feels like grief, not change management. From the “greatest show in town” to the long, quiet afternoons, we map the transition pitfalls: relationship strain, gambling, financial pressure, heavy drinking, and access to means. Then we move to solutions that stick: QPR training for everyone, union-led outreach to members on injury or IA, and a retiree association built on peer mentors, quarterly meetups, and easy referral to culture-competent clinicians and recovery coaches.

    Therapy only helps when it respects the culture. We make the case for long-term, stigma-free care that starts at the kitchen table, not a clipboard wall. Leaders play a decisive role, too: fund peer teams, protect privacy, standardize evaluations, and create fair return-to-duty paths that treat mental health injuries like broken bones. Fire service models show how trust grows when unions hold the keys and chiefs clear the way. Our aim is simple—keep people connected, valued, and alive long after the radio goes quiet.

    If this conversation resonates, share it with your crew, subscribe for more candid tools and stories, and leave a review to help other first responders find us. Your voice can pull someone back from the edge.

    If you are interested, please visit the Onsite academy at https://onsiteacademy.org/

    Visit the NEPBA at https://www.nepba.org/

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    30 m
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