Making progress with insomnia isn’t just about what you do.

It’s also about how you think.

Certain beliefs and mental loops can keep you stuck in the cycle of poor sleep, while small but intentional shifts in your mindset can dramatically change how you respond to bad nights, tired days, and the fear that fuels insomnia.

Here are 7 mindset shifts that will support your insomnia recovery:

​1. You Are Not an Insomniac​

It’s easy to let insomnia become part of your identity.

Maybe friends check in about your sleep, or you joke about how little you get.

But the more central insomnia becomes in your story, the more it reinforces itself.

Try this: stop calling yourself an insomniac.

You are a person who is dealing with insomnia, not defined by it.

Avoid sleep talk in social settings.

Focus on the things you want to talk about once insomnia is behind you.

And when you do need support, make sure it’s from someone who understands what truly helps—someone who will reinforce progress, not fear.

​2. Hard Nights and Tired Days Are Opportunities​

This might sound strange, but the best opportunities to overcome sleep anxiety are the bad nights and groggy mornings.

Why?

Because insomnia gets weaker when you face what you fear and realize you can handle it.

That’s the principle behind exposure therapy: you reduce anxiety by willingly facing the uncomfortable thing and discovering you’re okay.

Each rough night is a chance to build that strength.

Each tired day is an opportunity to prove that you can still function—and even enjoy life.

​3. Bring Out Your Inner Rebel​

Watch for lingering sleep efforts that sneak into your routine.

Perhaps you still avoid caffeine altogether, certain foods, or evening activities in the hopes of getting better sleep.

Now is the time to rebel against those self-imposed rules.

Not only do they restrict your life, but they send the message that you are fragile—and you’re not.

​4. Don’t Blame Sleep for Everything​

Insomnia makes life harder, but it isn’t the root of every problem.

Financial stress, relationship tension, or pressure at work may still exist after insomnia resolves.

When you place too much blame on sleep, it increases the pressure to fix it fast.

That desperation only makes things worse.

Life includes stress, whether you sleep well or not.

Recognizing that will help take some weight off your sleep’s shoulders.

​5. Remember the Good Things in Your Life​

Insomnia doesn’t cancel out everything good in your life.

Even in hard times, there are things worth appreciating.

Pause once in a while to reflect on what you’re grateful for - your family, health, home, or even small moments of peace.

Gratitude won’t magically fix things, but it helps shift your perspective and soften the sharp edges of fatigue and frustration.

​6. Be Patient​

Reading the ideas in this system will help, but change comes from experience—not just understanding.

You need time to apply the tools and gather evidence that things can improve.

Stick with it. The goal isn’t perfection or instant sleep, but steady progress and reduced anxiety.

​7. Stay the Course​

There will be setbacks.

You might have a string of bad nights and feel tempted to abandon the plan or try something extreme.

Don’t.

This system works by building long-term resilience, not chasing short-term results.

Measure progress in weeks or months, not single nights.

The hard moments will pass.

Trust the process.

​Final Thought​

Insomnia can feel like it’s taken over your life.

But mindset is where you begin to take it back.

Every time you

If you’re stuck in a cycle of poor sleep and constant fatigue, you might think what you need is another strategy to help you fall asleep at night.

But here’s the real secret:

You don’t need to chase sleep. You need to calm your nervous system.

When your nervous system is in a state of high alert, it’s nearly impossible to transition into sleep.

That’s where nervous system regulation comes in.

Mindfulness meditation is one of the most effective tools for this.

Yes, the sleep knowledge you’re learning here matters.

But knowledge alone doesn’t rewire your system.

To truly change your relationship with sleep, you need experiences that teach your body how to feel calm again.

That’s where daily practice comes in.

There’s mindfulness, and then there’s mindfulness meditation.

Mindfulness is the ability to be present in the moment and open to what’s happening, without judgment.

You can practice it anytime, while walking, eating, or even brushing your teeth.

Mindfulness meditation is a formal version of this.

You sit with your spine upright, your body relaxed, and your attention anchored on the breath.

When your mind wanders (and it will), you simply notice and bring it back.

You’re not trying to block thoughts or feel peaceful. The goal is to build awareness, openness, and emotional balance.

Calm may come—but it’s a byproduct, not the objective.

Here are three reasons to give this practice a real place in your life:

When you meditate consistently, you strengthen your mental “muscle” for awareness.

This awareness allows you to interrupt automatic patterns that perpetuate insomnia.

• You notice unhelpful thoughts.
• You catch yourself spiraling into fear.
• You choose how to respond.
• ​

This ability to observe, pause, and shift is what allows you to act differently during challenging nights and mornings.

Over time, your nights feel less threatening—and your days feel more manageable.

Mindfulness meditation has a proven ability to reduce sympathetic nervous system activity (your fight-or-flight mode) and activate the parasympathetic system (your rest-and-digest mode).

This matters a lot because insomnia is essentially a threat response.

The body perceives danger around not sleeping and stays wired.

Meditation helps reverse this.

It teaches your body that it’s safe to slow down.

And over time, you’ll find that your baseline nervous system state becomes calmer—even outside of meditation.

Important note:

Don’t try to use meditation to make yourself sleep.

That turns it into a sleep effort, which keeps the cycle going.

Use it to feel more at peace with being awake.

That’s what actually helps you sleep better in the long run.

Long-term meditation doesn’t just change your behavior. It changes your brain structure.

Studies have shown that a consistent mindfulness meditation practice:

• Strengthens the prefrontal cortex (responsible for emotional regulation and rational thought)
• Shrinks the amygdala (your brain’s alarm system that triggers stress)

These brain shifts help you become less reactive, more centered, and better able to handle adversity—including the bad nights that come with insomnia recovery.

If you’re tired of feeling like your...

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough attention when it comes to insomnia:

How you treat yourself when things are hard.

Most people are kinder to others than they are to themselves.

And if you’re like many people struggling with insomnia, you may find yourself thinking things like:

• “What’s wrong with me?”
• “Why can’t I just sleep like a normal person?”
• “I’m such a mess.”

That internal tone?

It matters. A lot.

You might think being tough on yourself will push you to “try harder” or “get it together.”

But research shows the opposite.

Self-criticism actually increases your stress levels and activates threat centers in the brain.

This puts your body on high alert - making it even harder to sleep.

In fact, a review of 48 studies found that self-criticism is linked to depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and more.

It doesn’t create change - it creates shame, frustration, and stuckness.

Self-compassion is not indulgent or weak. It’s practical.

When you respond to your suffering with care instead of criticism, you shift your nervous system from fight-or-flight into a calmer, more restful state.

In other words:

Self-compassion reduces the “sleep-stopping force” that fuels insomnia in the first place.

Instead of adding dirty pain (shame, blame, judgment), you create space for healing.

Think of a recent moment where you were struggling - maybe during a hard night or a rough morning after.

Now imagine your closest friend told you they were going through that exact experience.

• What would you say to them?
• Would you shame them for not handling it better?
• Or would you offer words of care and understanding?

Take those same words - and speak them to yourself.

It might feel awkward at first.

But with practice, it gets easier.

And over time, your brain learns that it’s safe to suffer without self-punishment.

That’s when real healing can begin.

Insomnia is not a personal failing.

It’s a pattern your brain got stuck in after perceiving a threat around sleep.

But every time you respond to your struggle with compassion instead of criticism, you send a signal to your brain that the threat is lessening.

You’re not broken. You’re human.

You’re doing your best.

And you deserve your own kindness - especially on the nights that feel the hardest.

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.

1. Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.
2. If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help.

Your resilience during insomnia grows when you stop trying to “fix” the pain you experience - and instead start living in a way that reflects what matters most to you.

Let’s take this one step further:

👉 How do you live by your values when you’re exhausted, foggy, and unmotivated?

👉 How do you reclaim your day after a brutal night?

⸻

Behavioral activation: a small shift with big results

In the field of psychology, there’s a powerful concept called behavioral activation.

Put simply:

Doing the things that matter to you—even when you don’t feel like it—can lift your mood, increase resilience, and help reduce the intensity of insomnia.

This doesn’t mean ignoring your fatigue.

It means choosing to act with the fatigue, rather than waiting for it to disappear before you engage with life again.

⸻

What this looks like in real life:

Let’s say you didn’t sleep much.

Your instinct might be to cancel plans, stay home, and just try to “survive the day.”

That’s totally understandable.

And sometimes, rest is the right call.

But what if you:

• Still met your friend for a slow coffee walk?

• Did a small creative task instead of canceling everything?

• Took 20 minutes to play music or cook a simple meal because it connects you to yourself?

These aren’t acts of denial.

They’re acts of courage—and alignment with your values.

They prove to your nervous system:

“I can live a meaningful life, even before my sleep is perfect.”

And that reduces the stakes on sleep.

⸻

A few helpful tools:

1. The Two Lists Strategy

Write down:

• Tasks you’ll do no matter how you slept

• Tasks you’ll do only if you slept decently

Keep your “no matter what” list rooted in your values.

This builds confidence and consistency.

2. Mood Forecasting Filter

Remember: your energy and mood will shift throughout the day.

Just because the morning feels awful doesn’t mean the whole day is doomed.

3. Mini Joy Check-Ins

Do one small thing that connects you to joy, play, or presence—no matter how short. It counts.

⸻

You’re allowed to enjoy life again—even before sleep improves.

Insomnia takes a lot from us before we recover.

But it doesn’t get to take our whole life.

If you wait to feel “better” before living fully, you’ll only raise the pressure on sleep—which makes it even harder to come.

Living by your values, no matter how you slept, is a way out.

Start small.

Start today.

You’ve got this.

⸻

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.

1. Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.
2. If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help.

Let’s face it: life is hard.

And the longer you struggle with insomnia, the more this truth becomes undeniable.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - and in Buddhist philosophy for over 2,500 years - there’s a core idea that has helped many people find steadiness through difficulty:

​

Suffering is inevitable.

But how do we respond to it? That’s where we have a choice.

We live in a world full of unpredictability, loss, discomfort, and emotional turbulence.

The things we love most are impermanent - including our energy, routines, and even our own bodies.

And yet… we’re constantly bombarded with messages that suggest something is wrong with us if we’re not thriving 24/7.

Scroll social media for five minutes and you’ll find polished, highlight-reel lives that seem problem-free.

But here’s the secret most of us forget:

Everyone struggles.

The curated happiness we see is just a moment in time - not the full picture.

​

​

When your days are foggy and your nights feel endless, it’s easy to feel broken.

You might start thinking:

• “What’s wrong with me?”
• “Why can’t I get it together like everyone else?”
• “If I were doing something right, I wouldn’t feel like this.”

This kind of self-talk only compounds the pain.

But when you stop pathologizing your suffering—and instead acknowledge that difficulty is part of life - something shifts.

You stop fighting yourself.

You stop making your symptoms a moral failure.

And you start responding with compassion, instead of judgment.

​

​

Resilience means you learn how to move through suffering with greater steadiness and self-respect.

And here’s the key:

You build resilience not by avoiding pain, but by doing what matters to you even when things are hard.

Which brings us to something crucial:

Your values.

​

​

Most people chase goals as if they were the secret to happiness.

But here’s the catch:

• You may never reach your goal.
• Or, you may reach it - and then realize the happiness didn’t last.
• ​

This is called hedonic adaptation.

Researchers have found that even people who win the lottery eventually return to their baseline level of happiness.

The same goes for people who face major setbacks. After the shock, we adapt.

So what actually creates lasting fulfillment?

👉 The answer: Your intentional actions.

What you choose to focus on. What you choose to live out, even when life is rough.

​

​

Values are qualities you can embody any time, whether or not you’re sleeping well.

They’re things like:

• Kindness
• Courage
• Growth
• Honesty
• Creativity
• Connection
• Compassion
• Service

Unlike goals, you don’t “achieve” values. You live them.

And they bring purpose and meaning in the moment, not just “someday” when things improve.

• What do you want your life to stand for?
• What kind of person do you want to be - even on a rough day?
• What values can guide you through this season of insomnia?

​

Next time, I’ll share how to put your values into action - even on days when you feel drained or unmotivated.

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End...

If you’ve ever woken up after a rough night and felt like canceling your day before it even started, you’re not alone.

The daytime consequences of insomnia can feel exhausting, discouraging, and relentless.

Maybe you spend the day running on fumes, all while dreading the next night.

It’s completely understandable that you might start withdrawing from the things and people you care about - just trying to make life feel more manageable.

But here’s the catch: that very withdrawal can slowly make things worse.

Let’s look at a few common sacrifices people often make when insomnia sets in:

• Avoiding travel plans
• Pulling back from friends, family, or romantic relationships
• Pausing or quitting work
• Giving up hobbies, regular exercise, or meaningful routines
• Even moving homes, just for the hope of better sleep
• Completely cutting out coffee, wine, or other things you used to enjoy

This retreat is usually done with the best intentions.

You’re doing what you can to preserve energy, reduce stress, or increase your odds of sleeping better.

And in a way, it makes perfect sense.

But here’s what most people don’t realize:

The more your world shrinks to revolve around sleep, the more pressure you put on sleep to “perform.”

It becomes the one thing that must go right - because everything else now depends on it.

This is what we call increasing the Sleep-Stopping Force - when the stakes of sleep get so high that it creates anxiety, vigilance, and tension around nighttime itself.

And that tension?

It’s what makes sleep even harder to come by.

What Happens When You Start Living Again

You don’t need to wait for perfect sleep to begin reclaiming your life.

In fact, the act of doing so can lower the pressure around sleep and give you back a sense of control.

What does that look like in practice?

Start small.

Reintroduce the things you’ve been avoiding - not in a forceful or rigid way, but with gentleness and curiosity.

If you used to enjoy a morning coffee, consider bringing that ritual back.

If you love connecting with friends, try meeting someone for a short walk or lunch, even if you feel tired.

Let’s talk caffeine and alcohol for a moment.

You’ve probably heard that both should be completely avoided.

But full elimination isn’t always necessary, and can sometimes make life feel even more restrictive.

Here’s a more balanced approach:

☕ Caffeine:

If you’re someone who enjoys your morning coffee or tea, you don’t need to give it up entirely.

Having a moderate amount in the morning can improve your mood and energy without harming your sleep.

The key is timing - try to keep caffeine use to the earlier part of the day, ideally before noon.

Be mindful of how it affects you personally and adjust as needed.

🍷 Alcohol: If you like to have a glass of wine or a drink now and then, know that it’s okay to do so in moderation.

Yes, alcohol can disrupt sleep for some - but not everyone is equally sensitive.

If you notice it makes sleep worse, go easy on it as you build sleep confidence.

Over time, you may find your sensitivity decreases and that you can enjoy alcohol again like you used to - without added stress.

Living Fully is Part of the Healing

You don’t have to “wait until you sleep better” to live better.

In fact, the more you re-engage with the things that make your life meaningful - relationships, routines, small pleasures - the more your mind begins to realize:

“I can handle this. I’m capable, even when I’m tired.”

And when the stakes on sleep come down, your nervous system calms down.

The pressure...

You’ve tried mindfulness. You’ve tried pleasant distractions. But now it’s 3 am, and you feel like you’re crawling out of your skin.

Get out of bed.

This might feel counterintuitive. Isn’t the goal to stay in bed and rest?

Yes—and no.

If your bed starts to feel like a torture chamber, then staying in it just reinforces the fear and frustration that fuels insomnia.

Let’s talk about what to do when it’s time to step away.

Changing your physical environment can interrupt the fight-or-flight cycle.

Your brain gets fresh input: “Oh, we’re not trapped. We can move.”

This act alone can help reduce hyperarousal and make the night feel less claustrophobic.

Leaving bed isn’t a failure. It’s a reset.

Your goal is not to exhaust yourself into sleep.

It’s simply to soothe your nervous system and return to bed when your body’s truly ready.

Try:

• Reading in low light
• Listening to calming music, a podcast, or a video
• Doing light stretching or breathing

When you feel sleepy—eyes drooping, head nodding—head back to bed.

Still awake later? You can get up again. You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re not trying to earn sleep. You’re learning to live through the night without spiraling.

Whatever you try—mindfulness, distraction, or getting up—these refinements make a big difference:

✅ Don’t watch the clock. Time-checking = tension. Set your alarm and ignore the rest.

✅ Drop expectations. Your night might surprise you. Let go of “I need X hours.”

✅ Welcome discomfort. It’s hard to be awake at night. That’s okay. It’s not a crisis.

✅ Conserve your energy. Less emotional struggle = more resilience tomorrow.

✅ Accept weird symptoms. Racing heart? Twitching? These are anxiety, not danger.

This process takes time.

There are ups and downs. But every night you stop fighting and start softening, you’re reconditioning your brain.

Peace first. Sleep second.

You’re doing the work—and it’s working, even if you don’t see it yet.

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.

1. Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.
2. If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help.

You’re awake. Again. You’ve tried deep breathing. You’ve tried mindfulness. Maybe it helped a little—or maybe it didn’t.

If you’re feeling restless, irritated, or just plain done with trying, here’s another option:

Pleasant distraction. In bed.

Not scrolling your phone mindlessly. Not doom reading sleep forums.

But doing something you genuinely enjoy, something calming enough to help you make peace with being awake.

Let’s explore how this works—and why it’s a surprisingly powerful step on your path to better sleep.

When you’re dealing with insomnia, every minute awake in bed can feel like failure.

The brain goes:

“I have to sleep. I have a meeting tomorrow.”

“This is going to ruin everything.”

That panic is your sleep-stopping force in action.

Here’s the truth: You can’t make yourself sleep.

But you can do something enjoyable to reduce the anxiety and stop the spiral.

The goal here is to shift your attention gently. Nothing too stimulating. Nothing anxiety-producing. Just something that occupies your mind enough to steer it away from worry.

Options include:

• Reading a book
• Listening to a podcast or audiobook
• Watching a show or documentary (if screens don’t rev you up)

Ideally, choose something you’ve already enjoyed before. Familiar = soothing.

If you feel your body start to relax—eyes drooping, yawns happening—that’s your cue.

Close the book, turn off the show, and let sleep come.

If sleep doesn’t show up? That’s okay. Just return to your calming activity.

You’re not “trying to sleep.” You’re making peace with being awake.

You’ve probably heard screens are the enemy of sleep.

Yes, blue light can suppress melatonin slightly. But that’s not what’s keeping you up.

Anxiety is.

If watching a favorite nature documentary helps you relax, that’s far better than lying in bed stewing.

Use night mode. Keep the volume low. Avoid scary or emotional content. But don’t stress too much about the screen itself.

When you make being awake less painful, your nervous system begins to calm down.

You stop feeding the “I must sleep or else” panic.

And that softening? That’s what creates the conditions for sleep to return—on its own, when your body’s ready.

It gives you agency, not control—but sometimes, that’s even better.

Next time, we’ll cover what to do when staying in bed isn’t working at all.

Until then,

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.

1. Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.
2. If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help.