Episodios

  • Navigating Social Media and AI with Kids

    Navigating Social Media and AI with Kids
    Jan 21 2026
    In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy Podcast, host Christopher Robbins speaks with award-winning author Jessica Spear about the critical challenges of social media and AI safety for teens and preteens. They discuss the irrefutable data showing how social media is negatively impacting youth mental health, the emerging concerns around AI companions and chatbots that teens are using for emotional support, and practical strategies parents can implement to protect their children. Jessica emphasizes the importance of ongoing conversations, coming from a place of curiosity rather than judgment, and creating family tech plans together. The discussion highlights that while technology offers benefits, current platforms lack adequate safety guardrails for young users, making parental engagement essential. Episode Highlights 00:00:10: Christopher introduces the podcast and welcomes guest, Jessica Spear, an award- winning author specializing in books for preteens and teens about friendships, safety, and technology use. 00:01:47: Jessica thanks Christopher for the introduction and expresses enthusiasm about tackling the important topic of social media and AI safety for young people. 00:01:56: Christopher praises Jessica's book "The Phone Book" and recommends it for every family with children who have smartphones. 00:02:03: Jessica explains that while her book is written for preteens and early teens, it's really for all families and encourages parents to read it alongside their children to facilitate conversations about navigating technology. 00:02:26: Christopher references Jonathan Haidt's book "The Anxious Generation" and notes that global statistics show teens and preteens are suffering due to social media abuse, then asks Jessica what parents need to know to help children stay safe. 00:03:01: Jessica acknowledges the nerve-wracking nature of parenting in the tech age and emphasizes that helping kids navigate technology is one of the biggest parenting challenges today, requiring lots of conversations starting early and happening often. 00:04:18: Christopher notes that social media can be problematic even for adults, interfering with real life. 00:04:26: Jessica discusses how innovation has outpaced child protections in social media, mentions Meta's 2024 teen account safety features, and notes that a 2025 report found these features ineffective, emphasizing that parents must be aware these tools weren't built for kids. 00:05:52: Christopher transitions the discussion to artificial intelligence as another challenge, asking what's happening with AI use among teens and preteens. 00:06:18: Jessica reports that 70% of teens have used AI and 50% use it regularly, primarily for fun, entertainment, schoolwork, and concerning companionship, noting that AI companions validate rather than challenge unhealthy thinking patterns. 00:08:05: Christopher asks Jessica to repeat what research shows children are doing with AI that is concerning. 00:08:20: Jessica explains that while curiosity-based AI use is fairly safe, the problem arises when kids seek emotional support from AI, which is not built for kids and cannot provide safe counseling, mentioning a lawsuit where parents claim their son committed suicide due to bad advice from ChatGPT. 00:09:43: Christopher summarizes that teens are creating artificial companions that appear as people on screen, creating asynchronous relationships that compound the challenges already present with social media. 00:10:22: Jessica discusses potential guardrails, mentioning ChatGPT's announcement to create age-based content filtering, but expresses skepticism based on Meta's failed guardrails, and emphasizes that parents keeping conversations going and testing technologies themselves is the safer approach. 00:11:50: Christopher summarizes that parents and mentors need to be engaged with children, maintain trust relationships, and help guide wise choices given that companies profit from children's attention. 00:12:39: Christopher asserts that no artificial intelligent therapist can replace a loving, caring, wise, experienced parent. 00:12:51: Jessica asks if the.re's anything else to share about AI, social media, and resources for parents, coaches, mentors, and teachers. 00:13:04: Jessica recommends "The Anxious Generation" and "The Phone Book," encourages parents to stay calm and authentic in conversations, and suggests families create tech plans together that outline screen-free times and appropriate technology use. 00:14:34: Christopher lists Jessica's books and asks where guests can find her online. 00:14:54: Jessica provides her website (jessicaspeer.com) and mentions her free e-newsletter, inviting people to reach out with questions. 00:15:11: Christopher concludes the podcast by thanking Famlis for support, encouraging subscriptions and reviews, and sharing the mission of making the world happier one parent-child relationship at a time. Key Takeaways Social ...
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    16 m
  • Finding Purpose in Turbulent Times with Shaun Tomson

    Finding Purpose in Turbulent Times with Shaun Tomson
    Feb 4 2026
    In this inspiring episode, former world surfing champion Shaun Tomson shares his powerful methodology for finding purpose and transforming mindset during challenging times. Tomson discusses the creation of his book,"The Surfer and the Sage," co-written with philosopher Noah benShea during COVID-19, which addresses the widespread feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, and disconnection. He introduces "The Code" - a transformative 12-line exercise where each line begins with "I will" - that has helped millions worldwide shift from negative to positive mindsets. Through compelling storytelling, including the beautiful "Sacred Story Stone" legend, Tomson demonstrates how personal transformation comes not from inspirational words of others, but from writing and sharing our own words of commitment and purpose. Episode Highlights 00:00:10: Christopher Robbins introduces the Helping Families Be Happy podcast and welcomes Shaun Tomson, former world surfing champion, leadership mentor, entrepreneur, and author of "The Surfer and the Sage." 00:01:09: Tomson explains his work as an ambassador for Boys to Men mentoring and the annual 100 Wave Challenge fundraiser that guides boys through their journey to manhood. 00:01:54: Tomson shares the origin story of "The Surfer and the Sage," describing how he met co-author Noah benShea during COVID and conceived the book concept in just five minutes. 00:02:43: Tomson describes his interactive presentations where he asks audiences to text words describing how they're feeling, creating word clouds that revealed widespread stress, anxiety, depression, and disconnection even among fully employed workers at successful companies. 00:03:39: Discussion of how the book addresses the "sad mind state" and creates 18 chapters (a sacred number in Judaism) designed as journeys from darkness to light, despair to hope, and powerlessness to empowerment. 00:05:25: Tomson expresses gratitude for the book's impact across multiple sectors, from Kellogg Business School to Harvard Kennedy School to large resort groups in Mexico, demonstrating its universal appeal. 00:06:11: Christopher asks Tomson to share what he tells audiences to help them find greater purpose in turbulent times. 00:06:48: Tomson emphasizes the power of storytelling over facts and data, citing Stanford research showing stories are remembered 27 times more than data, and explains that stories serve as both mirrors and windows for people. 00:07:49: Description of Tomson's presentation structure: telling four key stories about the Code's origin, perseverance and resilience, courage and commitment, and deep emotional connectivity. 00:08:49: Tomson explains the Code writing process where everyone writes 12 lines beginning with "I will" in 12 minutes, then shares their codes with the group. 00:09:38: Discussion of how the Code reveals the two halves of life's meaning and purpose: "I'll be better" and "I'll help others be better," with participants texting lines from their codes that display positive values. 00:10:24: Tomson defines purpose as "a committed intention to realize goals that are meaningful for oneself and for the broader world." 00:11:21: Description of the transformation that occurs during presentations, with mindset shifting from 80-90% negative at the beginning to 99-100% positive by the end. 00:12:52: Discussion of how great leaders' words inspire but personal transformation requires writing one's own words, with reference to JFK's famous quote (originally from Cicero). 00:13:46: Tomson explains that the Code method is "open source" and can be used by anyone, particularly families, to bring people together around shared purpose. 00:14:18: Christopher sets up the context that the episode will air at the beginning of 2026 and asks for a story to help engage listeners in the new year. 00:14:39: Tomson introduces his mission to create a "positive wave tribe" with the simple formula: "Drop a stone, create a ripple, build the wave" 00:15:45: Tomson begins telling the Chumash legend of the Rainbow Bridge, explaining how the Chumash people lived in Santa Barbara 13,500 years ago before any Western religion developed. 00:16:48: The legend describes how the earth mother planted a magic seed on Santa Cruz Island, and people crossed a rainbow bridge to the mainland, with those who looked down being transformed into dolphins. 00:17:28: Description of Hammonds Reef and Shaa Meadow, dedicated to the Chumash people, with its memorial bearing the inscription "The sacredness of the land lies in the mind of its people." 00:18:20: Tomson shares a personal story of visiting the beach with his son Matthew, where they were the only two people present. 00:19:04: Matthew creates a sacred story circle out of cobblestones with a stick decorated with feathers and kelp, establishing a rule that whoever holds the stick tells the story while the other listens. 00:20:09: Tomson reflects on this as one of the best times he's ever had on a beach, ...
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    27 m
  • Making it Up: A Revolutionary Way of Bonding with Kids with Christopher Maninno

    Making it Up: A Revolutionary Way of Bonding with Kids with Christopher Maninno
    Jan 7 2026
    In this episode, host Christopher Robbins interviews Christopher Mannino about his new book "Making It Up: A Revolutionary Way to Bond with Kids Through Play." Mannino shares how parents, teachers, and caregivers can strengthen their relationships with children through just 10 minutes of daily imaginative play using improv techniques. The conversation explores the two pillars of Mannino's method: improvisation skills for engaging with children and "anchor" techniques from method acting to help adults stay calm and present. Through practical examples and personal stories, Mannino demonstrates how this approach not only deepens bonds with children but also helps adults manage stress and create lasting memories. Episode Highlights 00:00:00: Host Christopher Robbins welcomes listeners to the Helping Families Be Happy podcast and introduces guest Christopher Mannino, author and former theater teacher now living in Malta. 00:01:30: Christopher Mannino thanks the host for having him back on the podcast. 00:02:05: Mannino explains that his book is about strengthening bonds through play, dedicating 10 minutes a day to active imaginative playtime, which builds resilience and emotional regulation for both adults and children. 00:03:52: Mannino provides the tea party scenario as a simple example of improvised imaginative play, explaining how to accept and build on children's ideas using the "yes, and" principle from improv. 00:06:19: Discussion of the two pillars of the method: improv-based techniques and method acting skills that help adults stay calm during stressful moments. 00:08:00: Mannino shares a powerful memory from the first day of pandemic homeschooling when he and his son built an imaginary rocket ship and explored the solar system, creating a song they still sing years later. 00:10:48: Host Christopher Robbins shares a story about his wife teaching violin to their son by dressing up as a different character, transforming the lesson into imaginative play. 00:12:29: Mannino explains the "established pivot" concept, describing how offering a new idea helps children's developing brains get unstuck and transform non-fun activities into enjoyable experiences. 00:14:31: Discussion about setting boundaries with children while maintaining the practice, and introduction to the "anchor" technique for managing parental burnout. 00:16:23: Mannino explains the anchor technique in detail, describing how to use recent positive memories to center yourself and maintain emotional presence with children. 00:18:10: Mannino shares his current anchor memory of seeing polar bears at the Munich zoo with his son, demonstrating how this memory helps him stay present and engaged. 00:19:38: Closing remarks with information about where to find Christopher Mannino online at christophermannino.com Key Takeaways Just 10 minutes of daily imaginative play using improv techniques can significantly strengthen bonds between adults and children while building emotional resilienceThe "yes, and" principle from improv—accepting children's ideas and building on them—transforms ordinary moments into meaningful play experiences.The "anchor" technique from method acting helps adults manage stress and stay emotionally present by tapping into positive recent memoriesPivoting or offering new ideas helps children get unstuck when they resist activities, transforming resistance into engagement.Setting boundaries is acceptable—you don't have to play every time a child asks, but dedicating consistent quality time makes a lasting impact.Imaginative play creates core memories that children carry with them for years, strengthening long-term relationships. Quotable Moments "If you can dedicate that 10 minutes a day to real active, imaginative playtime, and then you try the method and you try these, these new techniques, they're really easy and they're honestly really fun.""It's not just about fun and building, it's also about resilience and emotional regulation for you as the adult.""Kid runs in and their arms outstretched and says, dad, I'm flying. And what's your instant reaction?Because most people in that moment are like, okay, you have fun with that, or, I'm gonna keep cooking, or, eh, are you, but what happens if you say yes?""Flash forward to today, years later, we still sing the song that we ended up writing from that trip around the solar system.""I never do anything, whether it's an interview or going to work or going shopping or just waking up in the morning without an anchor at the ready.""You're gonna take that same technique and just feel happy. You don't have to tap into like a million different emotions.""Once you start doing it a few times you're gonna realize it can be really fun and b, if you use that, anchor, that memory to get you centered right before suddenly it doesn't feel like work."
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    20 m
  • Enjoying the Holidays During or After Divorce

    Enjoying the Holidays During or After Divorce
    Dec 17 2025

    In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy Podcast, host Christopher Robbins speaks with Paul Mandelstein, author of "The World's Best Dad During and After Divorce," about navigating the holidays as a divorced or separated parent. Paul emphasizes reframing divorce as creating an "extended family" rather than a "broken home" and stresses that holidays should focus on the children's wellbeing, not parental conflict. He provides practical advice on managing holiday gatherings, creating new traditions, and developing a positive collaborative co-parenting approach. The conversation highlights the importance of putting aside ego and hurt to ensure children feel loved by both parents during what can be a challenging time of year.

    Episode Highlights 00:00:10: Christopher Robbins introduces the podcast and welcomes guest Paul Mandelstein 00:00:11: Introduction to Paul stein's background as founder of Father Resource Network and his extensive publishing career. 00:01:09: Discussion of Paul's authored books including folk tales and "The World's Best Dad During and After Divorce." 00:01:57: Paul thanks Christopher for having him on the show 00:01:59: Christopher shares his friend's difficult divorce situation and asks for holiday advice. 00:02:34: Paul reframes divorce as creating an "extended family" rather than a "broken family." 00:04:06: Paul discusses choices parents have when invited to ex's house, emphasizing not disparaging the ex in front of kids. 00:05:19: Advice on being flexible with holiday schedules and planning ahead. 00:06:46: Suggestion to have separate holiday celebrations if parents can't get along peacefully. 00:07:40: Christopher asks about the positive collaborative co-parenting plan. 00:07:49: Paul explains men should take the lead in creating new family culture. 00:09:39: Christopher emphasizes advice applies to children of all ages. 00:09:48: Paul discusses how the relationship with an ex continues even after divorce. 00:10:42: Discussion of admitting fault and working on self-improvement. 00:11:02: Paul shares how listeners can contact him for consulting. 00:11:28: Christopher concludes with thanks to Famis and encouragement to subscribe.

    Key Takeaways

    • Reframe divorce as creating an "extended family" rather than viewing it as a "broken home."
    • Keep holidays focused on the children's happiness and wellbeing, not parental conflicts or hurt feelings.
    • Never disparage your ex-partner in front of the children, as they still love both parents.
    • Be flexible with holiday schedules and plan well in advance to avoid conflicts.
    • Create new traditions in your own home that work for your unique family situation.
    • Take the lead in establishing a positive collaborative co-parenting relationship, even if your ex doesn't initially reciprocate.
    • Put aside ego, blame, and the need to be "right" for the sake of your children.
    • If you can't be civil together, consider having separate holiday celebrations rather than creating tension.
    • Remember that you and your ex once loved each other, and that love created your children

    The relationship with your ex continues after divorce, especially when children are involved.

    Quotable Moments

    • "We're not a broken family when we divorce. We're an extended family."
    • "Happy holidays are not about you, they're about the kids. They're not about your ex, they're about the kids."
    • "This is an opportunity for you to learn compassion and to basically grow up."
    • "It's important to never disparage your ex in front of the kids because they still love their mom or their dad."
    • "Just don't be a jerk. Don't look for a way to prove that you were right or you or they were wrong."
    • "If you've never been nice before, some people haven't. Let's face it."
    • "It's an opportunity. And my book lays out a path that if you follow that path, even if your ex is, is not agreeing with you and is still adversary over time, the kids and your ex perhaps will realize that you're not the bad guy anymore."
    • "I'm asking men to take the lead and be the bigger hero. Be the hero. If anything divorces, the hero's security to go through it."
    • "The most important thing is for the kids to feel like they're not in an adversarial relationship where they have to pick one parent over another."
    • "You'll realize even divorce your relationship with your ex is not over, especially if the kids are teen, young kids, teenagers or even young adults."
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    12 m
  • You Deserve Flowers with Devon Blow

    You Deserve Flowers with Devon Blow
    Dec 10 2025
    You Deserve Flowers with Devon Blow In this episode, host Adina Oberman interviews Devon Blow, a dynamic artist and illustrator from Los Angeles who specializes in illustration, design, writing, and social justice advocacy. Devon discusses her debut book "You Deserve Flowers," a pocket-sized collection of affirmations and poetry that originated from a therapy assignment focused on self-affirmation. The conversation explores Devon's creative process, her passion for representing diversity and marginalized communities in her work, and her upcoming projects with Familius, including "Life's Best Bits" and a picture book. Throughout the discussion, Devon emphasizes how her art is deeply connected to social justice work and her desire to bring hope and encouragement to people from all walks of life. Episode Highlights 00:00:10: Adina Oberman introduces the Helping Families Be Happy Podcast and welcomes guest Devon Blow, describing her impressive background as an artist working with major clients like Netflix, Oprah's Book Club, and the United Nations. 00:01:42: Devon thanks Adina for having her on the podcast and the conversation begins. 00:01:44: Adina expresses excitement about discussing Devon's new book and their working relationship. 00:01:59: Devon introduces "You Deserve Flowers" as a pocket-sized book of affirmations and poetry designed to provide encouragement whenever readers need it. 00:02:27: Adina asks Devon to share the inspiration behind the book and her creative process. 00:02:37: Devon reveals the book originated from a therapy assignment where she was asked to write affirmations for herself as if speaking to others, since she found it easier to affirm others than herself. 00:03:26: Adina shares several affirming messages from the book, including "Loving yourself isn't arrogance, it's survival" and discusses the beautiful artwork. 00:04:16: Devon identifies the rain/puddles page as one of her favorites from the book. 00:04:19: Adina highlights Devon's artistic signature of including little hearts on characters' cheeks throughout the book. 00:05:14: Devon explains that people and diversity inspire her creative work, and she finds beauty in everyone's unique features and cultural backgrounds. 00:06:00: Adina asks Devon to elaborate on how her work connects to her passion for social justice. 00:06:18: Devon discusses how community and hope are central to her social justice work, citing influences like James Baldwin and bell Hooks, and emphasizing the importance of embracing differences. 00:07:28: Adina asks Devon to share information about her upcoming projects. 00:07:47: Devon announces her second book with Familius titled "Life's Best Bits" featuring over 190 illustrations about simple joys, plus a picture book project and a middle-grade fiction book she's currently writing. 00:08:41: Adina expresses excitement about Devon's upcoming work and asks where listeners can find her online. 00:09:00: Devon directs listeners to her website and social media at @DevthePineapple across all platforms. 00:09:12: Adina thanks Devon for joining the podcast. 00:09:14: Adina concludes the episode by thanking Familius for their support and encouraging listeners to subscribe and leave reviews. Key Takeaways Self-affirmation can be challenging even for those who naturally affirm others, and therapeutic exercises like writing affirmations can be transformative creative outlets.Art can serve as a powerful tool for social justice advocacy by representing diverse communities and providing hope during difficult times.Small, accessible formats like pocket-sized books of affirmations can provide encouragement and support in everyday moments.Embracing and celebrating differences in people's backgrounds, cultures, and appearances is essential to moving forward as a society.Creative work that centers love, community, and inclusivity can have meaningful impact beyond aesthetic value.Finding inspiration in the beauty of everyday people and their unique features can fuel authentic and representative artistic expression. Quotable Moments "Loving yourself isn't arrogance, it's survival" - From Devon's book "You Deserve Flowers""This rain won't stop you. The puddles remind you, you survived" - From Devon's book "You Deserve Flowers.""Trust your feelings, but don't forget to let the joy in" - From Devon's book "You Deserve Flowers.""I think if we can inspire each other and just be kind to one another, which sounds really cliche, but it's true" - Devon Blow on her approach to social justice work."I think embracing all of our differences is what will push us forward" - Devon Blow on diversity and community."I love affirming others, but I struggle with affirming myself" - Devon Blow on the origins of her book."I think all of our unique features and things makes us really beautiful" - Devon Blow on her artistic inspiration.
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    10 m
  • Celebrating Christmas Around the World

    Celebrating Christmas Around the World
    Dec 3 2025

    Celebrating Christmas Around the World

    The podcast episode of "Helping Families Be Happy" features host Christopher Robbins and guest Stephanie Campisi, an Australian author based in Southern California. The discussion revolves around global Christmas traditions, inspired by Stephanie's book, "12 Little Elves Save Christmas." The book takes readers on a journey through various countries' unique festive customs, celebrating the diversity and richness of worldwide holiday practices. Through this exploration, the episode highlights the importance of understanding and appreciating cultural differences, fostering empathy and connection in a global community.

    Episode Highlights 00:00:14: Introduction of the podcast and guest, Stephanie Campisi, an author discussing global Christmas traditions. 00:01:39: Stephanie shares the adaptation of wishing Merry Christmas in Australia with a cultural twist. 00:02:33: Discussion of Stephanie's book and its research into global Christmas traditions, including Australia's practices. 00:04:02: Exploration of similarities and differences in holiday traditions between Australia and the US. 00:05:10: Stephanie shares experiences spending Christmas in Japan, noting unique Japanese holiday practices. 00:06:08: Insight into Venezuelan Christmas traditions like roller skating to church. 00:06:58: Explanation of Lebanese nativity crib traditions, emphasizing cultural nuances. 00:08:00: Overview of countries featured in Stephanie's book and the selection process for representing diverse traditions. 00:09:05: Stephanie discusses her family's Christmas traditions evolving between cultures. 00:13:32: Highlighted favorite global Christmas traditions include German markets and Swedish celebrations. 00:14:23: Discussion on the book's potential to foster cross-cultural understanding and empathy. 00:15:11: Ending remarks and where to find more information about Stephanie Campisi's work.

    Key Takeaways

    • Understanding global Christmas traditions can enrich holiday experiences by recognizing cultural diversity.
    • Sharing stories through books can foster empathy and a greater appreciation for our global neighbors.
    • Adaptation of traditions when moving to a new culture can create newly meaningful personal celebrations.
    • Christmas traditions worldwide offer varied ways to appreciate the season beyond traditional narratives.

    Tweetable Quotes

    • "Reading is how we connect and cultivate empathy and understanding among cultures." -Stephanie Campisi
    • "A book is a little olive branch extending a connection to other cultures." - Stephanie Campisi
    • "One great holiday tradition at a time, we can make the world a happier place." - Host, Christopher Robbins
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    16 m
  • Building a Relationship of Trust with our Children with Donna Tetreault

    Building a Relationship of Trust with our Children with Donna Tetreault
    Nov 19 2025
    In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy podcast, host Christopher Robbins interviews parenting expert Donna Tetreault about building trust within families. They discuss the foundational importance of trust in parent-child relationships, drawing on insights from Stephen M.R. Covey's work on trust. Donna emphasizes the difference between smart trust and blind trust, explaining how parents can give age-appropriate autonomy while maintaining necessary boundaries. The conversation covers practical strategies for handling broken trust, encouraging self-advocacy in children, and the importance of natural consequences. Donna also stresses the need for parents to trust themselves in their parenting journey and extend grace to both themselves and their children. Episode Highlights 00:00:10: Christopher Robbins introduces the podcast and welcomes guest Donna Tetreault, a national TV parenting journalist, author, and educator who shares parenting strategies on major Los Angeles television stations. 00:01:40: Donna expresses excitement about being on the podcast. 00:01:43: Christopher discusses the importance of trust, referencing Dr. Stephen R. Covey's work and Stephen M.R. Covey's book "The Speed of Trust," establishing trust as the foundation of all relationships. 00:02:48: Donna explains the importance of trusting children in their decision-making process, citing Maria Montessori's quote about never doing for a child what they can do for themselves, while emphasizing the need for boundaries and coaching. 00:03:56: Christopher asks Donna to explain the concept of self-advocacy. 00:04:02: Donna defines self-advocacy as allowing children to build their own lives and make decisions, using the example of choosing friends rather than parents arranging all social interactions. 00:05:16: Christopher introduces the concept of smart trust versus dumb trust, using the humorous example of letting a newly licensed teen drive a brand new Ferrari. 00:06:02: Donna provides practical examples of age-appropriate trust, including bedtimes and technology use, explaining how to gradually increase responsibility as children demonstrate capability. 00:07:13: Donna discusses homework as an example of building trust and autonomy, encouraging parents to step back when children show responsibility rather than hovering. 00:08:02: Christopher introduces the concept of check-ins or mileposts, suggesting a "trust but verify" approach. 00:08:33: Donna agrees with the check-in approach, noting that younger children need more frequent check-ins while older children should require fewer as they build autonomy. 00:09:20: Christopher shares his personal experience as a father of nine, noting that different children require different levels of check-ins. 00:09:30: Donna emphasizes that every child is different and parents should trust themselves to read their children's individual needs. 00:09:53: Christopher asks how to handle situations when children break trust. 00:10:11: Donna advises against harsh reactions, recommending connection and compassion instead, and introduces Tina Payne Bryson's concept of saying children have "bent" rather than "broken" trust. 00:11:47: Christopher appreciates the phrase "bent my trust" as valuable advice. 00:11:53: Donna and Christopher agree on the value of the reframing. 00:12:15: Donna role-plays how to approach a teen who hasn't been attending school, emphasizing getting curious rather than immediately punishing. 00:13:18: Christopher shares his personal story of not attending high school for weeks and how his stepfather handled it with trust and a simple question. 00:13:36: Donna expresses surprise at Christopher's story. 00:13:53: Donna asks why Christopher wasn't attending school. 00:13:56: Christopher explains he wanted to do other activities like skiing and fly fishing, finding school boring. 00:14:29: Donna agrees with Christopher's philosophy. 00:14:31: Christopher emphasizes that parenting is a marathon not a sprint, using the phrase "never judge a man by his youth," and asks about experiencing natural consequences. 00:14:55: Donna discusses the importance of natural consequences rather than arbitrary punishments like taking away phones, allowing children to experience real-world results of their choices. 00:15:37: Christopher notes that sometimes natural consequences can be quite severe. 00:15:44: Donna acknowledges severe consequences and discusses how parents can support children through making up missed work while maintaining appropriate boundaries with teachers. 00:16:41: Christopher asks if there's anything else Donna wants to share. 00:16:48: Donna encourages parents to trust themselves, acknowledging that parenting is difficult regardless of expertise, and emphasizes giving oneself grace as a model for children. 00:17:28: Christopher asks where listeners can find Donna online. 00:17:34: Donna directs listeners to her Instagram account at Donna Tetreault. 00:17:41: Christopher asks ...
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    19 m
  • Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with Dr. Emily Edlynn, PhD

    Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with Dr. Emily Edlynn, PhD
    Nov 12 2025
    Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with Dr. Emily Edlynn, PhD In this episode of the Helping Families Be Happy Podcast, host Christopher Robbins interviews Dr. Emily Edlynn, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of "Autonomy-Supportive Parenting." Dr. Edlynn explains how autonomy-supportive parenting, based on self-determination theory, nurtures three fundamental human needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. She discusses how modern parenting culture's intensive approach often leads to controlling behaviors that undermine children's development, and provides practical strategies for parents to foster independence while reducing parental burnout. The conversation covers real- world applications of these principles, including how to help children solve their own problems and develop financial independence. Episode Highlights 00:00:10: Host Christopher Robbins introduces the podcast and guest Dr. Emily Edlynn, highlighting her credentials as a licensed clinical psychologist and author. 00:02:06: Light-hearted exchange about parenting experience with Christopher mentioning he's a father of nine children. 00:02:50: Dr. Edlynn defines autonomy-supportive parenting as a science-based approach that nurtures three fundamental human needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. 00:04:07: Discussion of the three core needs, with Christopher seeking clarification on each component. 00:04:40: Dr. Edlynn explains relatedness as the foundational need involving belonging, connection, and feeling understood and accepted. 00:05:14: Connection made to Daniel Pink's book "Drive" and its relationship to motivation theory. 00:06:17: Christopher acknowledges the challenges of parenting, describing it as sometimes being "a grind." 00:06:28: Dr. Edlynn identifies two primary barriers: overwhelming parental stress (declared a public health crisis) and intensive parenting culture. 00:08:10: Discussion of how control is the antithesis of autonomy-supportive parenting. 00:08:33: Dr. Edlynn explains how parents often do too much for their children, preventing skill development and confidence building. 00:09:36: Christopher relates the advice to leadership principles applicable beyond parenting. 00:10:25: Christopher shares his parenting approach of encouraging children to solve problems independently. 00:10:56: Dr. Edlynn validates Christopher's approach based on its effectiveness. 00:11:34: Humorous exchange about background music making parental advice more appealing. 00:11:48: Christopher asks for key autonomy supportive strategies to implement immediately. 00:11:56: Dr. Edlynn provides specific strategies including expecting more independence and expressing trust in children. 00:13:28: Application of strategies to a real scenario involving a child who needs to become more financially self-reliant. 00:13:47: Dr. Edlynn walks through the process of addressing the financial independence issue collaboratively. 00:15:00: Christopher acknowledges learning new parenting approaches after 33 years of experience. 00:15:38: Discussion of how autonomy supportive parenting relates to good leadership principles. 00:16:19: Exploration of short-term and long-term benefits of autonomy-supportive parenting. 00:16:35: Dr. Edlynn outlines benefits including reduced stress for parents and increased confidence for children. 00:17:25: Christopher reflects on accepting that children will grow up to be themselves, not replicas of their parents. 00:17:54: Dr. Edlynn emphasizes the importance of seeing children for who they truly are. 00:18:01: Acknowledgment that parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. 00:18:15: Important clarification that parents don't need to be autonomy supportive every moment to be effective. 00:19:12: Dr. Edlynn shares her contact information and online presence. 00:19:24: Closing remarks and podcast subscription information. Key Takeaways Autonomy supportive parenting focuses on nurturing three fundamental needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.Modern intensive parenting culture often leads to controlling behaviors that undermine children's development.Parents should ask children "What are you thinking?" before offering solutions to encourage problem- solving skills.Expecting more independent behaviors from children reduces parental stress while building children's confidence.Approach children's mistakes with curiosity rather than judgment to maintain connection and facilitate learning.Scaffolding approach works best - implementing changes step by step rather than expecting immediate complete independence.Autonomy-supportive parenting leads to higher self-esteem, better academic achievement, and stronger social relationships in children.Parents don't need to be perfect - creating a general environment of autonomy support is what matters most. Quotable Moments "All of us, regardless of our age or where we live in the world, we thrive when we have these three needs met.""We feel like this anxiety that we have to ...
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    20 m