• How To Navigate Friendship 'Break-Ups' As An Adult

  • Oct 30 2023
  • Duración: 12 m
  • Podcast

How To Navigate Friendship 'Break-Ups' As An Adult

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  • Show note links: Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app Go grab your £20 or $25 discount on your Sensate device: https://www.getsensate.com/fran Freebies: Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101 Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram  Ways to work with me: Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 & Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com Products: Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude  Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook  Contact: Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ Navigating Friendship ‘Break-Ups’ as an adult   Friendship brak-ups are a natural part of life.    But no one really talks about the intense pain that they can cause.   Friendships come and go. One minute you think someone is your ‘ride-or-die’ and then something shifts.   At the end of the day, life happens. Sometimes life happens and it creates a seismic shift in who we are.   It’s natural.   But it doesn’t mean it isn’t painful. Sometimes even more painful than romantic break-ups, so it deserves a little attention because I know a lot of people are navigating these sorts of things at the moment.    I certainly have over the last year or so.   So, why do friendship break-ups happen?   Sometimes it might be a betrayal, a move away, a lifestyle change. Fundamentally it tends to come down to one thing.   Different core values.   Our core values shift and change throughout our lives as we go through experiences and learn lessons.    It’s not to say it’s for worse or for better but they definitely shift so it’s always a good idea to keep coming back to your analysis of them and being really clear.   The more clear you are on your core values, the easier you’ll find many situations to navigate because you’ll really understand why something feels off or awful. You’ll understand why you might value a brand new friendship more than someone who has been there your whole life.    As we age and grow these things change and we also get less ok with tolerating someone pushing our boundary or value buttons.    A lot of the time when we form friendships, particularly when we’re younger, it’s because people live near us and like doing the same things as us.    It might be a shared sense of humour, interests, a number of things.    When we get older it shifts to how we behave. What we value. Do we fundamentally behave in ways that we value, to ourselves and others?   When you want to change something about your life, it might be eating healthier or getting fitter, or starting a business or becoming a parent for example, the best thing you can do is to get around people who want the same things as you. Or already have the things you want. People who fundamentally share and understand where you’re at.    But how do you know if it’s time to let go?   The biggest way is to be really mindful and conscious of how you feel around this friend.    Do they add or subtract positive things in your life?   Do you feel judged or unimportant?   Name what you feel.   I think as you get older and your priorities shift you realise that you simply don’t want to be around people who don’t add value to your life.   You’re too busy for starters! It’s like taking a Marie Kondo attitude to the emotional side of your life. Does this person spark joy?   At the end of the day, if you value reliability, consistency, contact and you have a friend who delivers precisely the opposite of that then you’re signing yourself up for constantly feeling let down and hurt. It’s not that one or other of you is technically ‘in the wrong’ but you have a difference in your value system. No right or wrong, just a mismatch at this time in your life.    It’s worth noting that friendships that end for whatever reason, doesn’t always mean it’s forever. I’ve had plenty of friendships where we’ve drifted apart, sometimes more dramatically than others, and come back together a few years later when we were more aligned again in terms of our values.    Communicate, communicate, communicate.    Listen, listen, listen.   SO many things can be sorted ...
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