“You can learn many things from toddlers! For example, how much patience you actually have.”

-Anonymous

One blessing of having ten kids is that we have matured and learned enough about kids to appreciate the toddler years of children #9 and 10 much more than those years with children #1 and 2. Our advice to parents of toddlers is to start by enjoying them! It’s hard to do when they are destroying your house and embarrassing you in public, but with a few strategies and consistency on your part, you can begin to see that this little bundle of creative energy has been amazingly designed by the Divine Creator. It’s all part of His plan to get this child to adulthood and independence, and to get you to heaven!

• All children need to be delighted in, but especially the young child! Take time to relax and enjoy them.

• Toddlers challenge us to begin saying “yes” to them and their needs and “no” to our own desires. This is the great vocation of parenting!

• Giving choices is good, but don’t burden them by giving them too many choices.

• When they are having a tantrum, the question you should ask yourself is “what is the need here?” and then choose to respond NOT react. Through your calmness you are teaching them that you are in charge and they are not.

• Routine and stability are key! When they have a natural flow to their day that is predictable they can tend to be more peaceful.

• What are our natural responses to our toddlers? What do we think about that?

• What are our toddlers emotional outbursts like? What triggers them? How can we respond?

• What is our normal routine for our children? Is this working for them?

• What do we do with our toddlers at mass? Is this is a good plan?

Notes:

• The Absorbent Mind (Montessori book)
• Articles on toddlers from Focus on the Family (Christian website)

Welcome His Heart: https://welcomehisheart.com/

MFP 165: Forgiveness Brings Freedom and Transformation

Videos - Evangelizing Your Kids and Forgiveness in the Family https://messyfamilyproject.org/course/pizza-and-parenting/watch/

• Parents must be very intentional about evangelizing their children and bringing them into a relationship with Christ.

• Marriage is a sacrament of service to the world. Our marriages are not just for us, they are an office of service.

• Every mother and father is to act as “priests of the home” and take up the spiritual authority God has given them for the sake of their children.

• Forgiveness is key to restoring relationships that have been broken and can teach children powerful lessons on relationships.

• In order to transform your family you will need to start with these three things - create habits to support your goals, make Jesus the king of your home, and build community to support your family.

• How are we leading together in the home? Have we taken up that call to spiritual leadership?

• What is my understanding of forgiveness? How can we live this out better within our home and our relationships?

• How is our marriage serving others? How are we giving from the well of our sacrament?

• What are 2 resolutions that we can make today to start living a transformed family life?

“You and your spouse are a team that GOD wants together!” - Art and LaraineBennett

The first step in creating a dynamic family is to know the people who are in it! That starts with knowing yourself, then your spouse, and then your children. One of the tools that we love using for this knowledge is the classic four temperaments - choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic. The leading Catholic authors on the temperaments are Art and Laraine Bennett, authors of the book The Temperament God Gave You and many other great resources! In this conversation we pepper them with questions about what the temperaments are, why knowing the temperaments are important, and how they can change your parenting. This podcast is FULL of great tips and resources of parents of any age. Listen in!

• Temperaments are only ONE aspect of our personality. Many things make each one of us unique.

• Temperaments are part of the wisdom of the ancients, but they also have been extensively studied in modern psychology

• Your temperament is the way you REACT. Knowing our temperament helps us to learn how to RESPOND to others in love.

• As a parent, knowing our children’s temperaments helps because we can teach them how to mature by focusing on their strengths and helping them process their weaknesses.

• When we react we will fly, fight, or freeze. Learning the “art of the pause” will help us respond in love and get out of “reaction mode”.

• You and your spouse can help each other by knowing your gifts and giving each other alternatives to handling difficult situations.

• Take the quiz at https://temperamentquiz.com and link your account with your spouse.

• Observe your children this week. During a date night, talk about the temperament of each child and how you can encourage their strengths.

• What are our gifts as a couple? How can we better use them for the good of our children?