Episodios

  • Humility & Sacred Attachment with Michael John Cusick
    Oct 27 2025
    Our guest was identified on the autism spectrum with the label he prefers, Asperger's Syndrome, and began his identification journey of what it means to be on the spectrum. As we conclude this month's focus on attachment, Michael shares from his book, Sacred Attachment, that discovering God's love, affection, and delight in us was life-changing. Michael shares many insights, but leans in on his definition of humility and how it is key to attachment to oneself and others.
    About our Guest:
    Michael John Cusick
    Michael John Cusick is the CEO and founder of Restoring the Soul, an intensive counseling ministry in Denver. He is a licensed professional counselor, spiritual director, and former assistant professor of counseling at Colorado Christian University. Michael is the author of Surfing for God, and his articles have appeared in prominent publications such as Relevant, The Huffington Post, and Red Letter Christians. He and his wife, Julianne, have two grown children and live in Littleton, Colorado. You can find out more about Michael and his resources at: https://restoringthesoul.com/
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    59 m
  • Self-Attunement, Lament & Developing Your iSight with Marlene Allen
    Oct 20 2025
    Continuing this month's topic on attachment and attunement, we have with us today the Life Model Works Executive Director, Marlene Allen. So many of our clients and listeners ask how I can have joy in pain or return to joy when things seem hopeless. Isn't that like just being happy and faking it until you make it?
    No!
    Today, we talk about adversity, pain, and lament, and how they differ from complaining and venting, which are stuck in disgust or contempt. Lament is a release and offering, and complaining amplifies your pain and can blind you.
    So join our discussion today to learn more about:
    • Self-attunment

    • Attunement to God and developing iSight, is Immanuel always with me?

    • How does pain impact me?

    • Lamenting vs Complaining

    About our Guest:
    Marlene Allen currently serves as the Executive Director of Life Model Works. She is an author, teacher, mentor, networker, licensed minister, and joy-starter. She graduated from McNeese State University in her home state of Louisiana. Her passion for teaching spiritual principles to young people led to a forty-plus-year journey of serving in schools and churches. During her 16-year service as a missionary in Southeast Asia, Marlene was introduced to Life Model Works and finally found the language to articulate the value of joy that she carried within her.
    Before becoming executive director, Marlene was a relational practitioner and served on the Life Model Works Board of Directors. She firmly believes that Life Model Works’ relational tools will help us better represent the Lord on the Earth.
    Residing in Aurora, Colorado, Marlene is a mom to four amazing adults, Rachell, Victoria, Kia, and Moses, and is called ‘Momma Marlene’ by a host of others. She is the creator of Doodles at Relational Wholeness Doodles and the author of the children’s book Candlestick City, available on Amazon.

    Life Model: https://lifemodelworks.org/neurotheology/
    Many of Dan & Stephanie's courses use Life Model Books or ministry partners such as Deeper Walk or Thrive Works.
    Chapter 5 of Uiquely Us relies on some of these principles!
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    55 m
  • Eating Powdermilk Biscuits for Better Attachment with Guest Dr. Jesse Gill
    Oct 15 2025
    This month, we are focusing on Attachment! Dan invited a previous guest and attachment expert, Dr. W. Jesse Gill, to join the guys to talk about attachments. What do powder milk biscuits have to do with attachment? Just the Guys cast Greg, Jeremy, and Clay discuss with Dan and Dr. Gill thoughts and questions about attachment.
    Dr. Gill's site: https://www.facetofaceliving.com/our-story

    7 Keys to Intimacy: https://www.facetofaceliving.com/shop

    And Dr. Gill has a new book on our leadership!
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    58 m
  • Attachment to God with the Holsclaws
    Oct 13 2025
    Attachment to God!
    What a huge topic to cover! Today, Dr. Stephanie and Barbara talk with Geoffrey & Cyd Holsclaw about intimacy and attachment to God.
    We continue our month-long deep dive on ATTACHMENT/INTIMACY.


    Topics in our discussion:
    Right brain vs left brain stuff- logical approach to knowing about God, to relational attachment to or with God.
    The old marriage triangle of husband and wife at the bottom, as you grow closer to God, you grow closer to each other. What is right and wrong about that
    Barriers to attachment with God?
    How church trauma or trauma in a marriage can impact one's view of God or attachment to God.
    About our Guests:
    Geoff Holsclaw (PhD) is an author of multiple books, a visiting professor of theology at Western Theological Seminary, and co-founder of the Center for Embodied Faith (embodiedfaith.life). Co-author of the forthcoming Landscapes of the Soul: How the Science and Spirituality of Attachment Can Move You into Confident Faith, Courage, and Connection.
    Cyd Holsclaw is an author, spiritual director, and pastor. She is also a trauma-informed, Jesus-centered, professional certified coach focused on embodied practices and building a secure attachment to God. Co-author of the forthcoming Landscapes of the Soul: How the Science and Spirituality of Attachment Can Move You into Confident Faith, Courage, and Connection.
    Learn more at www.cydholsclaw.com
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    1 h
  • Identity, Attachment & Your NeuroDiverse Relationship with Dr. Jim Wilder
    Oct 6 2025
    Today's podcast kicks off a new series, running through November 3rd, and concludes with Dr. Karl Lehman. This 6-week series focuses on identity, attachment, wounds, lament, and securing our attachment in Christ, not your marriage.
    In this episode of Neurodiverse Christian Couples, hosts Dan and Stephanie welcome back neurotheologian Dr. Jim Wilder for a deep dive into identity formation, attachment, and the brain, especially as it relates to neurodiverse individuals and marriages.
    Dr. Wilder explains how our identity develops from infancy through adolescence, highlighting key brain regions (like the orbital prefrontal cortex, corpus callosum, and mirror neuron system) and how they contribute to our sense of self and our ability to connect with others. He discusses what happens when these developmental processes are disrupted or different — as is often the case in autism, ADHD, and other developmental differences — and how this affects relationships, emotional regulation, and group belonging.
    The conversation explores:
    How attachment and caregiver attunement in infancy shape emotional identity.
    Why the adolescent brain shifts focus from Who am I? to Who are my people? — and how failing to find a “herd” can impact identity.
    The biological and neurological reasons why change (especially in neurodiverse individuals) takes time, encouragement, and community rather than just “trying harder.”
    Why accountability in the traditional sense often fails, and how a supportive group offering healthy correction is much more effective for growth and transformation.
    How autism impacts the identity center of the brain and its implications for marital relationships
    This episode sets the stage for a series on identity and attachment, touching on grief, resilience, and sacred attachment, with upcoming guests offering complementary perspectives.
    If you’re curious about how brain development, faith, and neurodiversity intersect — especially within marriage and community — this episode provides both insight and encouragement.
    About Our Guest Dr. Jim Wilder:
    Dr. Jim Wilder has been training leaders and counselors for over 30 years on five continents. Jim grew up in South America and is bilingual (English/Spanish). He is the author of nineteen books with a strong focus on maturity and relational skills. Dr. Wilder has served as a guest lecturer at Fuller Seminary, Biola, Talbot Seminary, Point Loma University, Montreat College, Tyndale Seminary, and elsewhere.
    Dr. Jim Wilder has extensive clinical counseling experience and is the chief neurotheologian of Life Model Works, a nonprofit working at the intersection of theology and brain science. Life Model Works builds on the fifty-year legacy of Shepherd’s House, which began in the 1970s as a ministry to street kids in Van Nuys, California.
    In those early days, Jim worked with the team of volunteer counselors and Fuller Seminary faculty to build a counseling center to help broken people recover from negative habits, addictions, abuse, and trauma. By the 1990s, Jim was Assistant Director and later Executive Director of Shepherd’s House, helping hundreds of pastors and churches with their toughest counseling cases.
    Jim was intimately involved in 1987 when Shepherd’s House conducted a careful review of why some people with the same level of trauma and treatment recovered, but others did not. The results of this case-by-case study became The Life Model, a new recovery model. The Life Model study findings were published in Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You.
    Other podcasts we referenced:
    Escaping Enemy Mode Podcast:
    https://www.spreaker.com/episode/escaping-enemy-mode-with-dr-jim-wilder--52449734
    What is LifeModel?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOcc2QJ0tTg
    Fear Bonds and Love Bonds with Dr. Wilder
    https://www.spreaker.com/episode/fear-bonds-love-bonds-and-q-a-with-dr-jim-wilder--57526192
    Dr. Wilder's Books for 2026 Courses
    Life Passages of Men
    Growing a More Human Community
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    1 h y 10 m
  • We Remember that Differently...So Who is Lying?
    Sep 29 2025
    Today, Dan & Stephanie try to cover a difficult topic using stories that can happen with neurodiverse couples and weaving in the story of Elizabeth Holmes/ Theranos after seeing the documentary on HBO Max about remembering differently, different priorities, and lying to oneself.
    Often, the couple remembers something differently (more often than not) and gets stuck in the weeds on whether a fact is true or not true instead of solving the actual problem or coming up with a future solution from hindsight learning. Many of our couples get stuck in what is sin, what is a lie, when is this a character flaw or issue?
    Stephanie began the discussion by setting up some Gottman research that states 69% of couples' issues are perpetual and unsolvable, so what do you do?
    In neurodiverse couples, you can guarantee that you will remember situations and events differently.
    You can count on the two of you to have different perspectives and priorities- what do you do?
    Looking at the definition of a lie:
    General Definition:
    A lie is generally defined as a false statement made with the intent to deceive someone.
    It involves making a statement that the speaker knows to be untrue, to cause the listener to believe it is true.
    Lies involve the intention to deceive or omit something so as not to have a penalty or consequence.
    What to do?
    After listening to the documentary The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley, Dan and Stephanie arrive at different places where they believe Elizabeth Holmes (no relation) is lying with intent. Is she lying to herself? Stuck in dreams or expectations that will never be? Lying to others? What do you think?
    What do you do when you remember differently and need to solve a problem, or you have differences and wants and needs and priorities?
    Dan and Stephanie also talk about the perspective gap and learning from it, and how to stay relational when you disagree.
    An older podcast called Stuck in the Weeds is mentioned- you can find that here:
    https://www.spreaker.com/episode/stuck-in-the-weeds-communication-collaboration-misfires--64597917
    Find the entire catalog here:
    https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/neurodiverse-christian-couples--4992356
    or from our home page
    www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com
    Find out what courses are available at www.holmesasr.com
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    1 h y 9 m
  • Can a NeuroDiverse Couple Truly Be Happy? Part 2
    Sep 22 2025
    Part 2 of the " Can a NeuroDiverse Couple Truly Be Happy discussion.
    If you missed part 1, check out the catalog as of September 1!
    Colleague and Neurodiverse Couple Specialist Jodi Carlton interviewed us for her show, Your NeuroDiverse Couple Podcast, Season 5. Stephanie and Dan were featured in the Couples Who are Making It!

    We also talk about our book Uniquely Us! Get the book here: https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/uniquelyus

    According to our research, 10-12% of ND Christian Couples are satisfied or thriving! We can do better! Let go of religious rules and roles and seek attachment and relationship!

    Jodi Carlton is also an expert in the field of NeuroDiverse Marriage and specializes in cases where there is a crossover of Narcissism and Autism.
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    36 m
  • For Every Action ... Mad & Meltdowns & Maybe even Mopey
    Sep 17 2025
    In this episode of Just the Guys, the hosts — joined by a new guest, Kevin — tackle the important and nuanced topic of anger, meltdowns, and their impact on relationships. Drawing from their own neurodiverse experiences and relationships, they explore whether “meltdown” and “anger” are interchangeable, and how these emotional states affect not only the individual but everyone around them.
    They discuss how to recognize the line between frustration and a full meltdown, using vivid metaphors like pilots ignoring warnings, or weightlifters knowing their limits. The group reflects on the critical role of recognizing when you can still listen to reason versus when you’ve spiraled beyond control — and the consequences of both states.
    The conversation highlights how meltdowns are not always loud or angry; they can also manifest as emotional shutdowns. Regardless of form, every reaction has an impact on spouses, children, and the relational climate. The guys discuss the helplessness, fear, and even trauma that partners can feel in the wake of repeated meltdowns, and how chronic incidents can lead to hopelessness in relationships.
    Importantly, they emphasize the necessity of repair and introspection. Repair involves accountability, understanding the harm caused, listening to feedback without defensiveness, and working to prevent future incidents. They remind listeners that repairing trust is a team effort — built on grace, openness, and hard work — and that even if meltdowns stem from autistic traits, the behavior and its consequences still require ownership and restoration.
    The episode closes with a reminder that meltdowns and their impacts cannot simply be brushed aside — they must be acknowledged and addressed, because every action has an impact.

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    46 m