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In this episode, Dr. Jan Eppingstall and I are exploring the impact of self-stigma and societal responsibility in hoarding. We look in depth at stigma and how it affects individuals with mental health conditions, especially hoarding disorder, and how self-stigma can damage us and prevent us from seeking help. Plus, we introduce a new segment — "permission slip". Stay tuned for some outtakes at the end!

• Impact of Public Stigma and Self-Stigma
• Dr. Jan Eppingstall explains public stigma, including stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination
• Key facets of public stigma: difference, disdain, and blame
• Understanding Self-Stigma and Public Stigma
• How stereotypes can affect self-stigma, using people's reactions to TV shows as an example
• The implications of self-stigma, including low self-esteem, hopelessness, and reluctance to seek treatment
• The interlinking of public stigma, self-stigma, shame, and self-consciousness, as well as self-blame and the impact of self-stigma on seeking help
• Variation in mental illness stereotypes by disorder
• Introduction of the "permission slip" segment
• Discussion on the compulsion to keep things and the completionist mindset
• Influence of Socioeconomic Status on Mental Illness Stigma
• Conversation about the perception of hoarding based on socioeconomic status and the value of items being kept
• Comparison of hoarding in different contexts: ample space and financial means versus living in a cramped environment
• Impact of space and wealth on hoarding, highlighted through a documentary about Celine Dion and her extensive costume collection
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in Addressing Self-Stigma
• Dr. Eppingstall outlines the ACT approach, focusing on personal values and psychoeducation on relational frame theory to address self-stigma
• Cognitive behavioural therapy techniques like reframing and peer support groups to combat self-stigma, as well as radical acceptance through a 10-step process
• Influence of Cultural Beliefs and Social Factors on Stigma
• Discussion of the influence of cultural beliefs on mental illness stigma, including the impact of social factors on self-stigmatisation
• Protective factors against self-stigmatisation: quality of life, social relationships, and cultural acceptance of mental illness
• The impact of societal influences on self-stigma and the importance of understanding one's thought patterns without trying to banish them
• External stigma's potential influence on self-stigma, with a suggestion that marginalised individuals facing more external stigma might be more susceptible to self-stigmatisation
• Internalised social stigma leads to negative self-concept.
• Self-stigma affects help-seeking behaviours negatively.
• Questioning stigmatisation and hoarding in media.
• Cultural stigma influences self-stigmatisation of mental illness.
• Communities’ response to mental illness.
• Self-stigma's impact varies based on individual factors.
• Internalised stigma is the acceptance of negative societal stereotypes.
• Self-stigma creates harm, deters seeking help.
• Reflection on hoarding stigma and societal perceptions.
• Public stigma in different cultures affects self-stigmatisation and attitudes toward mental illness and treatment.
• Reflecting on community's approach to mental illness and its impact on self-stigma.
• Practicing radical acceptance, using self-acceptance talk and behaviour changes to move forward.
• Self-stigma affects people differently based on various factors such as personality, upbringing, and society. Different societies can influence how people perceive and react to self-stigma.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket

Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe

Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-154-we-dont-need-to-love-it-we-just-need-to-do-it/

Today, I explore the reality of dehoarding. From the thrilling sense of accomplishment to the mundane, hard, and sometimes emotionally difficult aspects, I cover it all. Join me as I discuss the ups and downs of the journey and why loving the process isn't a requirement - getting it done is what counts.

• The Importance of Persistence and Commitment in Dehoarding
• The need to keep going even when it's not thrilling or empowering
• Embracing the mundane and boring aspects of dehoarding
• Understanding that progress is more important than loving every moment of the process
• Recognising that dehoarding can include both rewarding and difficult experiences
• Using reminders of the end goal to cope with the challenging days
• Compassion and Self-Care in the Dehoarding Process
• Embracing self-compassion during difficult dehoarding days
• Utilising self-care practices as a way to cope with the process
• Understanding the importance of acknowledging and validating difficult experiences
• Acknowledging the necessity of perseverance and consistent effort in dehoarding
• Coping with Mundane and Monotonous Aspects of Dehoarding
• Recognising the importance of routine in the dehoarding process
• Strategies and techniques to cope with monotony and boring tasks
• Understanding the difference between emotional highs and lows, and coping with routine tasks
• Utilising rewards and mindful strategies to cope with tedious dehoarding tasks
• Redefining Success in Dehoarding
• Understanding that success is measured by effort, home improvement, and personal pride
• Acknowledging that dehoarding progress is not always thrilling or enjoyable
• Embracing that progress is still progress, regardless of its size or level of excitement
• Challenging unrealistic expectations set by influencers and social media about dehoarding
• Action and Commitment Despite Feelings Towards Dehoarding
• Encouragement to take at least one step in the right direction, regardless of loving the process
• Embracing the idea that it's okay not to love dehoarding every minute
• Recognising that commitment to dehoarding is a significant achievement in itself
• Affirming the capability to create a space one feels at home in, despite the ups and downs of the journey
• Dehoarding doesn't have to feel thrilling.
• Difficulties come, but remember your purpose.
• Feeling overwhelmed is normal during the decluttering process, but progress matters more than celebrating every step.
• Self-care involves activities like hot baths, TV time, and walks, paired with self-compassion to be effective.
• Reward self, be mindful, focus on present, seek support, value effort over success.
• Embrace the journey, take steps forward.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

In today's episode, I look at how the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, can revolutionise our approach to decluttering. I discuss how focusing on the 20% of our possessions that cause 80% of our problems can lead to more impactful change with less effort, and how identifying the 20% of tasks that show the biggest results can help us to manage our energy and make visible progress. Join me as I break down this principle and explore how it can transform our mindset and approach to dehoarding.

• Introduction to the Pareto Principle
• Explanation of the Pareto Principle or the 80/20 rule
• Relevance of the Pareto Principle to hoarding and home management
• Impact of focusing on the 20% causing the most problems
• Identifying Impactful Tasks and Items
• The impact of expending energy on low-level tasks
• Importance of prioritising impactful tasks for noticeable change
• Making a dent in belongings by focusing on impactful items
• Brief history of Vilfredo Pareto and his observation
• Various contexts where the Pareto Principle is seen to apply
• Validation of the principle in different areas
• Applying the Pareto Principle to Your Home
• Strategic thinking in identifying items causing disruption
• Identifying 20% of belongings used most often
• Energy expenditure and impact of dehoarding actions
• Emotional Attachment & Rational Decision Making
• Emotional connection to belongings
• Encouraging rational assessment of belongings' value
• The role of emotions in retaining or discarding items
• Reassessing and Ongoing Vigilance
• Need for ongoing reassessment as space is cleared
• Importance of reassessing the 20% causing problems
• Frequency of reassessment and calibrating belongings
• Reflecting on the impact of the 80/20 rule in home management
• Pareto principle for hoarders.
• Pareto principle: 20% effort, 80% results.
• Reframe, prioritise, and declutter for efficient living.
• Identify essential items, discard unnecessary possessions strategically.
• Identify unnecessary items to make life easier.
• Reevaluate possessions and focus energy efficiently.
• Use the Pareto principle to focus on tasks with high impact.
• Identify and declutter items for a noticeable ease in daily life; use the 80/20 rule for organising and resolving space issues.
• Reassess belongings, focus on what matters.

I look at an old fable from when I was little and how I’ve changed my view on it completely. And, of course, how it relates to hoarding – and dehoarding.

• Acknowledging reaching 250,000 downloads for the podcast
• Dehoarding fast vs. slow and steady approach
• The benefits of dehoarding fast
• Getting a lot done in a short time
• Responding to emergency situations
• Harnessing sudden bursts of motivation
• The risks of dehoarding fast
• Burnout
• Impracticality of sustaining a fast pace in the long term
• Emphasising the importance of finding a balance between fast and slow dehoarding
• Acknowledging the benefits and drawbacks of both approaches
• The significance of Aesop's fable "The Hare and the Tortoise"
• Initial scepticism about the fable
• Understanding the importance of perseverance and consistency over speed
• Drawing parallels between the fable and dehoarding
• Primary Topic: Slow and steady work for dehoarding
• Sustained approach for dehoarding the entire home
• Making habits or new behaviours stick and become habitual
• Enhancing slow progress with focus and documentation
• Achieving objective progress through slow and steady work
• Suitability for long-term planning and sustainable change in behaviours and beliefs
• Riding the wave when the urge to throw into action arises
• Recognising when to work fast
• Potential drawbacks leading to complacency or exhaustion
• Balancing fast and slow dehoarding approaches
• Finding a balance for effective and sustainable progress
• Avoiding the pitfalls of extremes in dehoarding approaches
• Fast action can be encouraging and valuable.
• Sustainable pace fosters effective dehoarding.
• Slow, steady progress towards a liveable home.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket

Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe

Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

Dr Jan Eppingstall has had an idea, and it is as revolutionary as it is terrifying. We talk about it!

• Shifting focus from individual items to the bigger picture
• Creating a guilt-free zone for a limited time to honour values and experience more joy and fun in the future
• Putting aside certain values temporarily to create better conditions for the future
• Introduction of the concept of "household equilibrium"
• Understanding the emotional attachment to possessions based on lived experiences
• Behavioural and Emotional Aspects of Discarding Items
• Reluctance to discard out-of-date food due to guilt and fear of waste
• Emotional connection to possessions and the importance of using them
• Encouraging the usage and enjoyment of possessions
• Trauma-focused approach to discarding clutter
• Coping with the guilt and shame around wastefulness
• Making difficult decisions about discarding items
• Exposure to letting go and small, less risky decluttering tasks
• Letting go of controlling outcomes and focusing on wellbeing over perfect disposal
• Starting with low-risk categories when decluttering, such as wrapping paper
• Prove that terrible things do not happen when decluttering
• The importance of proportionality in the decluttering process
• Children's Belongings and Autonomy in Decluttering
• Clear guidelines for disposing of belongings that are not yours
• Contacting owners to collect items, especially for children's belongings
• Revisiting keepsakes periodically to reassess their importance
• Respecting children's decisions about their belongings
• Navigating the decluttering process with understanding and sensitivity
• Creating a Safe and Comfortable Living Environment
• Implementing an amnesty on existing rules and guidelines
• Suspending the acquisition of new items to keep the space in equilibrium
• Allowing space for new interests and hobbies to enter one's life without guilt
• Desire for perfection leads to unnecessary clutter.
• Temporary pause for a more balanced life.
• Stay safe and open to new experiences.
• Encouraging use of gorgeous clothes in daily life.
• Helping people cope with guilt and clutter to prioritise their well-being.
• Desire for perfection in decision making and finding balance.
• Some people value frugality but need to let go sometimes.
• Focus on physical safety, declutter for new hobbies, no guilt.
• Facing fears leads to growth and relief from guilt.
• Recommendation to limit exposure to items and practice letting go to avoid regret.
• Encourage using and enjoying clothes, shoes.
• Expressing love for a cherished mug.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

Susie Boutal is a qualified ADHD coach and decluttering expert. She joins me to talk about the intersection of ADHD, hoarding, and clutter. Susie shares valuable insights for anyone dealing with ADHD and hoarding. We cover the myth of laziness, the importance of open communication in relationships, managing hoarding behaviour, the impact of self-talk, and the influence of past experiences on self-perception and the responsibility to yourself and others in managing living spaces. Join us as we navigate the complexities of decluttering and hoarding with compassion and empathy, and gain valuable advice from Susie on nurturing a kinder inner dialogue.

• Negotiations and Agreements in Relationships
• Compassionate Expression of Needs
• Impact of Self-Talk and Past Experiences on Self-Perception
• Nurturing a Kinder Inner Dialogue
• Offering Yourself Compassion and Empathy
• ADHD and Clutter
• Impulsivity
• Compassionate Approach to Motivate Decluttering
• Guilt and Shame
• Breaking Tasks into Microtasks
• Tips for People Dealing with ADHD and Hoarding
• Self-Compassion
• Establishing Daily Non-negotiable Routines
• Breaking Down Tasks into Small Goals
• Approaching Uncertainty as a Space of Possibilities
• Overcoming Procrastination
• Identifying Procrastination Triggers
• Breaking Tasks into Achievable Goals
• Maximise Productivity and Time Management
• Reassessing Productivity in Small Time Periods
• Using Small Time Intervals for Decluttering
• Addressing Impulsivity in Acquiring Items
• Finding Long-Term Purpose
• Managing Living Spaces in Relationships
• Open Communication
• Setting Non-Negotiable Priorities
• Overcoming decluttering barriers with 5-minute tasks.
• Find purpose by identifying goals, prioritise passions.
• Setting rules, responsibility, and personal growth awareness.
• Establishing boundaries and agreements in relationships.
• Recognising patterns
• Impact of words can last a lifetime.
• Establish routines, question resistance, break tasks down.
• Embrace uncertainty as a challenge, not a threat.
• Clutter linked to ADHD, trauma, mental health, impulsivity, and seeking new things.
• Focusing on microtasks for motivation and habit building.
• Decluttering seems overwhelming, but starting with small tasks can be motivating
• Find purpose, set long-term goals, prioritise over short-term impulses.
• Setting rules and responsibility to overcome impulses and seek long-term goals.
• Open communication and defining nonnegotiables is crucial in living together respectfully.
• Negotiating boundaries and agreements in all relationships, including regarding space and activities.
• Recognising negative patterns, understanding origins, finding benefits in change, and being kinder to yourself.
• The lasting impact of hurtful words.
• Routines, self-reflection, and breaking tasks down.
• Embracing uncertainty leads to growth, while fear of uncertainty causes paralysis.

• Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
• Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
• Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

Today, I talk about a woman who sold every single thing in her wardrobe and explore the lessons that can be learned from this drastic approach, discussing both the positive and less than ideal aspects of the woman's actions. Highlighting the importance of taking small actions and steering away from all-or-nothing thinking, I look at what we who have difficult home surroundings can learn from this

• Acknowledging annoyance and taking action against it.
• Overcoming scarcity mindset and emotional attachments to possessions.
• Liberating to sell clothes, or all-or-nothing thinking?
• Gradual progress leads to lasting change and adaptation.
• Exploring actions and habits to address annoyances.
• Don't have to do extreme decluttering.
• Small actions are valuable.
• Incorporate new behaviours consistently.
• Slow progress is more effective than dramatic change for long-term success.
• Accepting and embracing feelings as a human reaction.
• Taking Action on Annoyances
• Acknowledging ongoing annoyances
• Taking decisive action to address the problem
• Decisiveness
• Being inspired by the woman's decisiveness
• Overcoming overthinking and indecisiveness
• Finding fulfillment and reward in making a dramatic change
• Feeling liberated by having considerably less stuff
• Living with Considerably Less
• Realising that living with less is not a threat
• The protective nature of hoarding behaviour
• Less Ideal Aspects of Extreme Action
• All-or-Nothing Thinking
• Recognising the danger of extremes in decision making
• Embracing the value of moderation and balanced action
• Small Actions versus Grand Gestures
• The importance of small, consistent actions over grand gestures
• Building lasting change through gradual progress
• Overcompensating
• The dangers of drastically clearing out possessions
• Gradual adaptation and adjustment to change
• Accepting Feelings and Reactions
• Understanding that feelings of overwhelm are a normal human experience
• No Secondary Shame
• Rejecting the idea that feeling hard emotions is a source of shame
• Overcoming internalised beliefs about the negativity of emotions