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When a lone mother came onto our Facebook group to look for support with her teenage son who's done very little with his summer holiday other than sleep in late I thought it was a great time to revisit this topic, and talk about the severe level of sleep deprivation our society deems acceptable, and how important sleep is for teens. They're not lazy; there are some important developmental things happening when they sleep.

That said, there are also some concrete things we parents can do to help our teens make the most of their holidays which can be a huge boost to their self-knowledge and ability to regulate themselves.

Reminding ourselves that academics are just one of the important things our kids need for life helps us to steer our focus onto other gains they can make in the holidays.

MY PREVIOUS EPISODE WITH RESEARCH ON SLEEP:

• https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/sleep-the-free-fix-for-our-teens-with-no-side-effects/

MY TIPS:

• KEY: Remove all tech from their rooms, at the very least it should be done well before they ought to go to sleep.
• Choose one life-skill a week and teach them how to do it 'perfectly' using praise and ecouragement as your weapons.
• Help them to talk about what really interests them. Be very careful not to judge whatever it is, but help them to create a routine that involves working towards their goal. Agree a regular check-in time to look again at how they're getting on, and whether it's realistic or needs adapting. This is an amazing life-skill which will protect them from 'failure to launch'.
• Book things that give the holidays structure.
• Make sure they have plenty of opportunity to spend time with their friends; social skills and socialising are vital for teens and my kids' screen time drops dramatically when she has social things to do.
• Get them used to playing games that don't involve online time. We've been loving Uno, Monopoly Deal, Kick the Can, and one unlikely hit has been Sussed which isn't a game, but a card system where each person has to ask the group questions about themselves and people in the group have to guess which they think is the right answer.

BOOK REFERENCED:

• Why Students Don't Like School by Daniel Willingham

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Neither of us has medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Rachel’s email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
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Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

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Living with a teenager can make us feel queezy at times because we keep losing our bearings. They're changing rapidly, and bringing new challenges into our home, while we're just trying to do our best. For many, the start of a romantic relationship can feel particularly difficult. You're not just negotiating new territory, but having to do it with another person in the equation.

One listener has contacted me to for support over her teen daughter snuggling with her new boyfriend on the sofa in front of other family members. Sometimes it's hard to figure out whether we're being unreasonable, and even what it is that we're objecting to.

In this episode I directly address her feelings, and how challenging this can be for us parents, before sharing an old episode in which we talked about 16 year olds having sex under our roof.

Support the Show.

Thanks for listening.

Neither of us has medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Rachel’s email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/



Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a Text Message.

The holidays are a great time to begin preparing our kids for the next year, but there's so much we could be doing it's hard to know where to start. I've turned to and someone who specialises in helping parents with tweens to give us some great, actionable tips.

JoAnn Schauf, who founded Your Tween and You, and is the author of Loving the Alien: How to Parent Your Tween, emphasizes the importance of focusing on fostering autonomy and confidence in children.

In this episode we talked about:

• Goal-setting and allowing them to use their voice to set their goals.
• The way our role changes and being clear about the new relationship.
• The confusing changes that happen in our tween's brain.
• The benefit of an accountability partner.
• Using an accomplishment journal.
• Noticing when the good things they do.
• Focusing only on effort.
• Allowing our kids to set their own goals.
• Discussing homework building blocks.
• Discussing screen time and empowering them to manage it.

CONTACT JOANN SHAUF:
https://www.yourtweenandyou.com/

Support the Show.

Thanks for listening.

Neither of us has medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Rachel’s email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/



Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk