Episode 120: The Yes You Didn't Mean with Kiara Hartwell Opara

This is for the high achievers who still feel depleted....

You checked the boxes. You got the degrees. You built the career. From the outside, your life looks successful.

So why doesn't it feel that way?

In this episode of Return, I'm joined by my friend, fellow IFS therapist, and Human Design Projector Kira Hartwell Opara for a conversation about the hidden cost of overfunctioning, perfectionism, and people-pleasing—and why insight alone often isn't enough to create lasting change.

Together, we explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us move beyond simply understanding our patterns and into building genuine relationships with the protective parts that have spent decades trying to keep us safe. We also dive into how culture, race, family systems, and legacy burdens shape the ways we learn to survive—and what it takes to finally experience peace instead of just competence.

Whether you're a therapist, entrepreneur, high achiever, or simply exhausted from carrying the weight of always being "the capable one," this conversation offers a compassionate invitation to return to yourself.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why high achievement doesn't automatically create inner peace
• The hidden nervous system logic behind perfectionism and overfunctioning
• Why people-pleasing isn't a personality flaw—it's a survival strategy
• The powerful IFS insight that "the yes isn't about the request—it's about protection"
• Why self-awareness alone rarely creates lasting change
• How Internal Family Systems works differently than insight-based therapies
• The role of race, culture, family systems, and legacy burdens in shaping our protective parts
• How social media amplifies overfunctioning and comparison
• What it actually looks like to build a relationship with your protective parts instead of fighting them
• Small ways to return to yourself when life pulls you away

Connect with Kiara:

website: https://kjhartwell.com/

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kjhartwell/

Connect with Caitlan:

website: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/powermove

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlansiegenthaler/

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

What if the version of success you've been chasing was never actually yours?

In this episode of Return, Caitlan explores one of the biggest questions we can ask ourselves: Who taught me what success looks like—and do I still agree?

Inspired by a simple question she was asked after moving to Switzerland—"How do you spend your time?" instead of "What do you do for work?"—this conversation unpacks the cultural, familial, and internal beliefs that quietly shape our definition of success. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Human Design, you'll be invited to examine the inherited metrics you've been measuring yourself against and begin creating a definition that actually fits your life.

You'll also learn how each Human Design energy type experiences success through its unique signature, from satisfaction and peace to surprise and success itself, offering a fresh framework for recognizing when you're truly in alignment.

Whether you're navigating a career pivot, questioning old expectations, or simply feeling boxed in by someone else's version of achievement, this episode offers thoughtful reflection, practical journal prompts, and a reminder that success is allowed to evolve as you do.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why the question "What do you do?" shapes our identity more than we realize
• The surprising cultural lesson Caitlan learned after moving to Switzerland
• How family, achievement, and societal expectations influence our definition of success
• Exploring your own "parts" and the beliefs they hold about achievement
• The Human Design signature of success for each energy type:
  • Generators: Satisfaction
  • Manifesting Generators: Satisfaction + Peace
  • Manifestors: Peace
  • Projectors: Success
  • Reflectors: Surprise
• Journal prompts to help you redefine success on your own terms
• Why success may look more like presence, authenticity, freedom, and meaningful impact than checking another box

If this episode resonates with you, share your own definition of success by leaving a comment, sending Caitlan a message on Instagram, or sharing the episode with someone who could use permission to define success differently.

If you're ready to stop overthinking and make the next aligned move in your business, applications for Power Move, Caitlan's 7-day business intensive for therapists and healers, are open through the end of August before pricing increases.

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

Can therapists build a personal brand without compromising their ethics?

In this episode, I'm joined by therapist, visibility strategist, and returning guest Jazzmyn Proctor for a nuanced conversation about what it actually means to become more visible online as a therapist.

We unpack why so many therapists feel conflicted about marketing themselves, the difference between performing therapy versus embodying your work, and how to navigate visibility in a way that feels ethical, sustainable, and deeply aligned.

We also dive into the recent Therapy Jeff controversy and explore what it teaches us about digital responsibility, professional identity, and the evolving role of therapists in public spaces.

Whether you're trying to fill your caseload, build a business beyond one-on-one therapy, or simply feel more comfortable showing up online, this conversation offers a refreshing perspective on visibility that doesn't require dancing for the algorithm or becoming someone you're not.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why therapists often confuse marketing with "performing therapy"
• The difference between visibility, personal branding, and traditional marketing
• How to embody your work instead of constantly teaching it
• Navigating ethics while building a public platform
• The Therapy Jeff discourse and what therapists can learn from it
• Why your digital footprint deserves thoughtful consideration
• Whether therapists should include their credentials in their social media handles
• The fear therapists carry around becoming "influencers"
• How to prevent burnout while growing an online presence
• Choosing platforms that actually fit your nervous system instead of trying to be everywhere at once
• Why visibility should always begin with knowing your "why"

Connect with Jazzmyn

• Jazzmyn's website
• The Visibility Standard podcast

Connect with Caitlan

Caitlan's website

Work with Caitlan and make your next move

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

Running a private practice (or any healing business) isn’t just about serving your clients, it’s about sustaining YOU the person at the helm of the business wheel.

In this episode, I’m sharing one of the most impactful founder habits I’ve built into my own business: a monthly business retro.

Think of it as a compassionate business review where you look beyond revenue and ask:

• Is my business actually supporting me?
• Am I paying myself appropriately?
• What gave me energy this month?
• What’s quietly draining my capacity?
• Am I focusing on the right projects?

Inspired by both my corporate background and the business advisory work I do today, I’ve created a monthly review process that combines financial clarity, quarterly goal tracking, energetic capacity, and reflective decision-making into one simple system.

Because the truth is:

A profitable business isn’t just about making more money.

It’s about making better decisions.

In this episode we discuss:

• Why every therapist, coach, and healer should conduct a monthly business review
• How to review your revenue, expenses, and profit without overwhelm
• The Profit First framework I use to pay myself consistently
• Tracking quarterly goals without getting distracted by shiny objects
• Why energetic capacity deserves as much attention as your finances
• How to identify hidden energy leaks in your business
• The questions I ask myself every month before making business decisions
• Creating a sustainable business that works with your nervous system—not against it

Want the full Monthly Business Retro?

https://partsandpurpose.substack.com/p/the-monthly-business-check-in-that (Listen here!)

This public episode is just the introduction.

Inside Return+, you’ll find the complete workshop where I walk you through my entire Monthly Business Retro template step-by-step.

You’ll also receive:

✨ My complete Monthly Business Retro template

✨ Monthly co-working retro sessions inside the Return+ community

✨ A supportive space to reflect, plan, and build your business alongside other thoughtful healers

You can start with a free trial and join us for the next retro.

Listen to the full episode here: https://partsandpurpose.substack.com/p/the-monthly-business-check-in-that

Resources Mentioned

• Profit First episode
• Quarterly Goal Setting episode
• Power Move Intensive
• Emily Sanders

Connect with Caitlan

Website: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlansiegenthaler

Substack & Return+: https://caitlansiegenthaler.substack.com

If this episode helped you think differently about your business, I’d love if you’d subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another therapist or healer who’s building a business that feels as good as the work they do.

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

Episode 116: "Narcissists don't want repair, they wan't control."

What if the person everyone admires is the very person making you question yourself behind closed doors?

This week, I'm joined by licensed creative arts therapist and narcissistic abuse specialist Melissa Guttman for a conversation that completely changed the way I think about narcissism, self-trust, and intuition.

We explore why narcissistic people are often highly successful, charismatic, and influential, why narcissistic abuse can be so difficult to recognize while you're in it, and how these dynamics slowly erode your ability to trust yourself.

Melissa breaks down the subtle signs of narcissistic abuse, the difference between emotional immaturity and true narcissistic patterns, why therapists often miss these dynamics, and what it actually means to go low-contact or no-contact with someone who continually harms you.

We also talk about intuition, betrayal blindness, gaslighting, and how healing often involves reclaiming access to what you already knew all along.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why narcissists are often charming, confident, and highly successful
• The "mask drop" that often happens in narcissistic relationships
• Love bombing, devaluation, gaslighting, and coercive control
• The difference between vulnerable, communal, and grandiose narcissism
• Why narcissistic abuse can feel so confusing and disorienting
• How narcissistic dynamics show up in families, friendships, romantic relationships, and coaching spaces
• The concept of FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt)
• Gray rock, yellow rock, low-contact, and no-contact strategies
• Why therapists sometimes unintentionally miss narcissistic abuse
• The connection between narcissistic abuse and losing touch with your intuition
• Betrayal blindness and the parts of us that learn not to know what we know
• Rebuilding self-trust after years of second-guessing yourself

Connect with Melissa:

IFS Witch Therapy Practice

Therapeutic Voice Lessons (You Are Song)

Melissa on Instagram (@fallengoldenchild)

No Bad Charts Podcast

Connect with Caitlan:

Book Power Move Here & Get This Current Pricing for Life!

Learn More About Power Move

Set up a Discovery Call to get 20 minutes of Caitlan's feedback on your business

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

Episode 115: A workshop style podcast where we explore money conditioning, strategy & much more..sign up for Return+ on Substack for the full episode

A Return+ Subscriber Request….

The fun thing about Human Design is that there is no money center. No secret place where if you just try hard enough, you will unlock it.

It will give you a map to where you’ve been conditioned, where you may be leaking energy ($) and how opportunities find you when you are in alignment with your design.

You'll hear:

• Why Human Design doesn't predict income
• How money often follows alignment rather than force
• The connection between your open centers and financial conditioning
• Why undercharging, overworking, and constantly proving yourself may have less to do with strategy than you think
• Journal prompts to help uncover your own money patterns

The full Return+ episode dives deeper into:

• Money conditioning in every open center
• Human Design energy types and money
• Gates associated with resources, influence, value, and prosperity
• Type-specific money experiments you can try this week

If you've ever wondered why certain money stories keep repeating....despite all the mindset work, strategy courses, and business advice....this episode offers a different portal to begin understanding & changing the patterns.

A portal that starts with understanding your energy first.

Subscribe to Return+ on Substack to unlock the full teaching.

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

BONUS! EP! Calling all Summer House/ Reality TV Loversss...

Episode 114: Therapists React to the Summer House Reunion

What happens when two therapists sit down to process Summer House instead of just watching it?

In this bonus crossover episode, I'm joined by therapist, writer, and Practical Alchemy host Elizabeth Scott to unpack the Summer House reunion through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), attachment, relationships, and parts work.

We talk about:

• Amanda and Kyle's decade-long relationship through an IFS lens
• Why some relationship ruptures compound when they never truly repair
• West's "ear stuff" explanation (yes, we go there)
• The difference between connection and intimacy
• What happens when protective parts take over a relationship
• Why Ciara's growth this season deserves far more attention than she's getting
• The emotional aftermath of the reunion and what never really got addressed

Along the way, we explore a question we couldn't stop thinking about:

What if reality TV came with actual therapeutic support?

This is Part 1 of what has accidentally become a much larger conversation. In future episodes, we'll dive into Amanda and Ciara's friendship, the fallout between Ciara and West, and—because we couldn't help ourselves—the astrology and Human Design charts of the cast.

If you've ever watched reality TV and thought, "Someone needs to get these people into therapy," this episode is for you.

Grab your Loverboy, your journal, or both.

We're going in.

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

You know that feeling when everyone tells you to "just trust your intuition"—but you're not actually sure what voice you're hearing?

In this final episode of the Intuition Series, we're exploring one of the biggest reasons intuitive people struggle to trust themselves: protective parts and trauma.

Because anxiety isn't intuition.
Urgency isn't intuition.
Hypervigilance isn't intuition.

They're often intelligent protective strategies that developed to keep us safe.

Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), Human Design, and my own experiences with grief, trauma, and healing, we explore how protective parts can become louder than our intuitive knowing—and what it takes to reconnect with the quiet wisdom underneath.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why trauma can disconnect us from our bodies and intuitive knowing
• The role protective parts play in decision-making
• Common protective parts like the perfectionist, overworker, caretaker, avoider, and researcher
• How to distinguish intuition from anxiety, fear, and protective strategies
• Why intuition often feels quiet, clear, and grounded
• How grief, motherhood, stress, and major life transitions can impact self-trust
• Signs you're rebuilding a stronger relationship with your intuition
• The connection between Human Design, body awareness, and intuitive decision-making

You'll hear reflections on:

• My own journey rebuilding trust in my instincts after years of overriding them
• How old wounds can continue influencing present-day decisions
• The difference between seeking certainty and practicing self-trust
• Why reconnecting with intuition often requires more safety—not more information

Mentioned in this episode:

• Episode 110: Why Highly Intuitive People Stop Trusting Themselves
• Episode 111: The Therapist Edge with Natalie Deering
• Episode 112: What Human Design Says About Your Intuition
• Episode 89: What has to go? Discernment: A Virgo Season Virtue We All Need Right Now
• work with caitlan here

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.