Episode 116: "Narcissists don't want repair, they wan't control."

What if the person everyone admires is the very person making you question yourself behind closed doors?

This week, I'm joined by licensed creative arts therapist and narcissistic abuse specialist Melissa Gutman for a conversation that completely changed the way I think about narcissism, self-trust, and intuition.

We explore why narcissistic people are often highly successful, charismatic, and influential, why narcissistic abuse can be so difficult to recognize while you're in it, and how these dynamics slowly erode your ability to trust yourself.

Melissa breaks down the subtle signs of narcissistic abuse, the difference between emotional immaturity and true narcissistic patterns, why therapists often miss these dynamics, and what it actually means to go low-contact or no-contact with someone who continually harms you.

We also talk about intuition, betrayal blindness, gaslighting, and how healing often involves reclaiming access to what you already knew all along.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why narcissists are often charming, confident, and highly successful
• The "mask drop" that often happens in narcissistic relationships
• Love bombing, devaluation, gaslighting, and coercive control
• The difference between vulnerable, communal, and grandiose narcissism
• Why narcissistic abuse can feel so confusing and disorienting
• How narcissistic dynamics show up in families, friendships, romantic relationships, and coaching spaces
• The concept of FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt)
• Gray rock, yellow rock, low-contact, and no-contact strategies
• Why therapists sometimes unintentionally miss narcissistic abuse
• The connection between narcissistic abuse and losing touch with your intuition
• Betrayal blindness and the parts of us that learn not to know what we know
• Rebuilding self-trust after years of second-guessing yourself

Connect with Melissa:

IFS Witch Therapy Practice

Therapeutic Voice Lessons (You Are Song)

Melissa on Instagram (@fallengoldenchild)

No Bad Charts Podcast

Connect with Caitlan:

Book Power Move Here & Get This Current Pricing for Life!

Learn More About Power Move

Set up a Discovery Call to get 20 minutes of Caitlan's feedback on your business

Calling all therapists and 1:1 service providers....

You know that move you've been wanting to make in your business? Well this summer is the perfect time to make it.

Entre.. Power Move the 7 day Business Intensive with me, Caitlan a former corporate girlie turned therapist where we use human design and parts work to make your move come true.

Get the lowest price for life when you book by the end of June.

Book here: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/powermo

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

Episode 115: A workshop style podcast where we explore money conditioning, strategy & much more..sign up for Return+ on Substack for the full episode

A Return+ Subscriber Request….

The fun thing about Human Design is that there is no money center. No secret place where if you just try hard enough, you will unlock it.

It will give you a map to where you’ve been conditioned, where you may be leaking energy ($) and how opportunities find you when you are in alignment with your design.

You'll hear:

• Why Human Design doesn't predict income
• How money often follows alignment rather than force
• The connection between your open centers and financial conditioning
• Why undercharging, overworking, and constantly proving yourself may have less to do with strategy than you think
• Journal prompts to help uncover your own money patterns

The full Return+ episode dives deeper into:

• Money conditioning in every open center
• Human Design energy types and money
• Gates associated with resources, influence, value, and prosperity
• Type-specific money experiments you can try this week

If you've ever wondered why certain money stories keep repeating....despite all the mindset work, strategy courses, and business advice....this episode offers a different portal to begin understanding & changing the patterns.

A portal that starts with understanding your energy first.

Subscribe to Return+ on Substack to unlock the full teaching.

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

BONUS! EP! Calling all Summer House/ Reality TV Loversss...

Episode 114: Therapists React to the Summer House Reunion

What happens when two therapists sit down to process Summer House instead of just watching it?

In this bonus crossover episode, I'm joined by therapist, writer, and Practical Alchemy host Elizabeth Scott to unpack the Summer House reunion through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), attachment, relationships, and parts work.

We talk about:

• Amanda and Kyle's decade-long relationship through an IFS lens
• Why some relationship ruptures compound when they never truly repair
• West's "ear stuff" explanation (yes, we go there)
• The difference between connection and intimacy
• What happens when protective parts take over a relationship
• Why Ciara's growth this season deserves far more attention than she's getting
• The emotional aftermath of the reunion and what never really got addressed

Along the way, we explore a question we couldn't stop thinking about:

What if reality TV came with actual therapeutic support?

This is Part 1 of what has accidentally become a much larger conversation. In future episodes, we'll dive into Amanda and Ciara's friendship, the fallout between Ciara and West, and—because we couldn't help ourselves—the astrology and Human Design charts of the cast.

If you've ever watched reality TV and thought, "Someone needs to get these people into therapy," this episode is for you.

Grab your Loverboy, your journal, or both.

We're going in.

Calling all therapists and 1:1 service providers....

You know that move you've been wanting to make in your business? Well this summer is the perfect time to make it.

Entre.. Power Move the 7 day Business Intensive with me, Caitlan a former corporate girlie turned therapist where we use human design and parts work to make your move come true.

Get the lowest price for life when you book by the end of June.

Book here: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/powermo

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

You know that feeling when everyone tells you to "just trust your intuition"—but you're not actually sure what voice you're hearing?

In this final episode of the Intuition Series, we're exploring one of the biggest reasons intuitive people struggle to trust themselves: protective parts and trauma.

Because anxiety isn't intuition.
Urgency isn't intuition.
Hypervigilance isn't intuition.

They're often intelligent protective strategies that developed to keep us safe.

Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), Human Design, and my own experiences with grief, trauma, and healing, we explore how protective parts can become louder than our intuitive knowing—and what it takes to reconnect with the quiet wisdom underneath.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why trauma can disconnect us from our bodies and intuitive knowing
• The role protective parts play in decision-making
• Common protective parts like the perfectionist, overworker, caretaker, avoider, and researcher
• How to distinguish intuition from anxiety, fear, and protective strategies
• Why intuition often feels quiet, clear, and grounded
• How grief, motherhood, stress, and major life transitions can impact self-trust
• Signs you're rebuilding a stronger relationship with your intuition
• The connection between Human Design, body awareness, and intuitive decision-making

You'll hear reflections on:

• My own journey rebuilding trust in my instincts after years of overriding them
• How old wounds can continue influencing present-day decisions
• The difference between seeking certainty and practicing self-trust
• Why reconnecting with intuition often requires more safety—not more information

Mentioned in this episode:

• Episode 110: Why Highly Intuitive People Stop Trusting Themselves
• Episode 111: The Therapist Edge with Natalie Deering
• Episode 112: What Human Design Says About Your Intuition
• Episode 89: What has to go? Discernment: A Virgo Season Virtue We All Need Right Now
• work with caitlan here

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

When most people think about intuition, they imagine a psychic lightning bolt, a dramatic sign from the universe, or a crystal-clear knowing that drops from the sky.

But what if intuition is much more ordinary than that?

In this episode, Caitlan explores how Human Design can help us understand the unique ways intuition naturally communicates through our bodies. From authority and decision-making to the wisdom hidden within each center of the chart, this conversation offers a practical roadmap for you to learn how to trust your intuition, step by step.

You'll learn why intuition often sounds quieter than anxiety, how trauma can disconnect us from our inner knowing, and why Human Design isn't about giving your power away to another system it's a map to knowing and understanding your body based intuitive clues.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• Why most people have been conditioned to distrust their intuition
• The difference between intuition, anxiety, urgency, and overthinking
• How each Human Design authority receives intuitive information
• What your centers reveal about your unique intuitive gifts
• The role of the Spleen, Sacral, Emotional Solar Plexus, G Center, Ajna, Root, and Throat in intuitive awareness
• How defined and undefined centers influence intuition differently
• Why nervous system healing strengthens intuitive connection
• Common ways trauma and protective parts interfere with self-trust
• Practical ways to start rebuilding your relationship with intuition today

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome back to the Intuition Series

04:02 What intuition actually looks like (and why it's usually not a lightning bolt)

09:45 Understanding Human Design authorities and intuitive decision-making

18:30 How the centers shape your intuition

35:30 Urgency, anxiety, and other things we mistake for intuition

43:30 Trauma, nervous systems, and losing touch with your inner knowing

50:20 Practical ways to strengthen intuition and rebuild self-trust

Links & Resources:

✨ Learn how you're uniquely designed to make decisions: Next Level Decisions (Free Audio Course)

⚡ Ready for clarity, momentum, and your next big move? Power Move Intensive

🌙 Explore more episodes, resources, and offerings: www.caitlansiegenthaler.com

Episode 1 (110) in the Intuitive Series

Episode 2 (111) in the Intuitive Series

Calling all therapists and 1:1 service providers....

You know that move you've been wanting to make in your business? Well this summer is the perfect time to make it.

Entre.. Power Move the 7 day Business Intensive with me, Caitlan a former corporate girlie turned therapist where we use human design and parts work to make your move come true.

Get the lowest price for life when you book by the end of June.

Book here: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/powermo

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

Episode 111: IFS, Intuition & Reclaiming the Therapist’s Intuitive Edge with Natalie Deering

What happens when therapists stop treating intuition like something “woo” and start recognizing it as information?

In this episode, Caitlan sits down with therapist, consultant, and host of the Intuitive Self Podcast, Natalie Dearing, for a conversation about Internal Family Systems (IFS), intuitive gifts, Theta Healing, creativity, and what happens when we stop forcing ourselves to fit inside the “blank slate therapist” mold.

Natalie shares how parts work unexpectedly became a pathway into deep intuitive development, why she started trusting the images and sensations she received in sessions, and how weaving spirituality into therapy transformed both her clinical work and her relationship with herself.

Together, Caitlan and Natalie explore:

• the overlap between intuition and parts work
• how therapists disconnect from their own knowing
• what happens when we stop ignoring intuitive information
• creativity as a portal back to Self energy
• Theta Healing + IFS
• the role of mentors in intuitive development
• why pottery might secretly be therapy

This episode is for the therapists, helpers, highly sensitive humans, and intuitive people who’ve felt something deeper happening in the room and are ready to trust themselves a little more.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How Natalie discovered therapy was her path
• The connection between IFS and intuitive development
• What “self-energy” actually feels like
• How intuition can show up through images, sensations, and inner knowing
• Why many therapists suppress their intuitive gifts
• How Natalie uses intuition ethically in therapy sessions
• What Theta Healing is and how it overlaps with IFS
• The importance of mentorship in intuitive work
• Why creativity and art can reconnect us to ourselves

Chapters:

00:00 – “I Am Light” & self-energy as a song
03:30 – Natalie’s journey into becoming a therapist
08:00 – Human Design, generators & following what lights you up
11:30 – Therapy, intuition & evolving clinical work
15:00 – Discovering intuitive gifts through IFS & Theta Healing
20:00 – Practicing intuitive discernment
23:00 – Why mentorship matters in intuitive work
27:00 – Using intuition ethically in therapy sessions
35:00 – What Theta Healing actually is
43:00 – Creativity, spirituality & weaving modalities together
45:00 – The parts Natalie is holding close right now
46:30 – Pottery, presence & returning to yourself

Links & Resources:

• Connect with Natalie on her website & instagram
• Listen to the Intuitive Self Podcast
• Learn more about Caitlan’s work: Caitlan Siegenthaler Website

Calling all therapists and 1:1 service providers....

You know that move you've been wanting to make in your business? Well this summer is the perfect time to make it.

Entre.. Power Move the 7 day Business Intensive with me, Caitlan a former corporate girlie turned therapist where we use human design and parts work to make your move come true.

Get the lowest price for life when you book by the end of June.

Book here: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/powermo

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

Episode 110: Why Highly Intuitive People Stop Trusting Themselves: Returning to intuition after grief, trauma & self-doubt

After an intentional pause, Caitlan returns to the mic with one of the most personal episodes of the podcast yet. In this kickoff to a brand-new intuition series, she shares the raw and profound story of losing her father to pancreatic cancer and the intuitive hits, body sensations, dreams, and undeniable inner knowing that emerged throughout the experience.

This episode explores what intuition actually feels like beyond the curated “trust yourself” content online. Caitlan dishes on the ways intuition gets shut down over time through trauma, power dynamics, logic-only conditioning, narcissistic relationships, anxiety, and self-gaslighting — and what it looks like to slowly reclaim that connection.

From spirit guide experiences and dreams to Human Design, therapy, grief, and nervous system awareness, this conversation lives at the intersection of the mystical and the practical. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re intuitive, ignored a gut feeling, or felt disconnected from your own inner voice, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why intuition often gets dismissed in highly logical or professional environments
• The difference between intuition, fear, anxiety, and trauma responses
• How narcissistic or emotionally invalidating relationships disconnect us from our inner knowing
• The role Human Design, IFS, spirituality, and healing work can play in reconnecting to intuition
• Caitlan’s deeply personal story of intuitively sensing her father’s illness and passing
• The ways grief can heighten intuitive sensitivity and connection
• Why reconnecting with intuition requires unlearning as much as learning

Chapters:

02:45 — Mercury signs, astrology, and how we receive intuitive information
06:10 — What intuition actually feels like
08:02 — Intuitive vampires, gaslighting, and losing trust in yourself
11:30 — Anxiety vs. intuition: how to tell the difference
14:28 — Why reconnecting to intuition isn’t just meditation and journaling
16:40 — Childhood intuition, energy sensitivity, and early spiritual experiences
19:15 — Healing, IFS, and rebuilding a relationship with intuition
24:10 — Spirit guides, flickering lights, and messages from her grandmother
27:05 — The intuitive knowing before her father’s diagnosis
29:10 — Sensing the timing of his passing before medical professionals did
31:25 — Dreams, grief, and learning to trust inner knowing

Links & Resources:

• Aycee Brown on Instagram for the Mercury intuition post that inspired this episode
• Explore Caitlan’s work + current offerings at Caitlan Siegenthaler
• Book your Power Move
• Subscribe to Return+ for bonus episodes, essays, and deeper conversations

Calling all therapists and 1:1 service providers....

You know that move you've been wanting to make in your business? Well this summer is the perfect time to make it.

Entre.. Power Move the 7 day Business Intensive with me, Caitlan a former corporate girlie turned therapist where we use human design and parts work to make your move come true.

Get the lowest price for life when you book by the end of June.

Book here: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/powermo

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.

In this special crossover episode between the Return Podcast and Self Trust Podcast, Caitlan sits down with Emily Romero for a deeply honest, behind-the-scenes conversation about what it actually takes to do “the thing” that’s been calling you.

Together, they explore the messy middle between knowing and doing, the role of self-trust, and what it looks like to build a business (and life) that actually reflects who you are. Plus, Caitlan gives a live, on-the-spot demo for Emily, offering a real-time glimpse into what it’s like to work inside Power Move.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why knowing yourself isn’t enough and what actually creates momentum
• How Human Design and Internal Family Systems work together in business decisions
• Why “doing the thing” rarely looks clean, linear, or logical
• How to navigate fear, doubt, and resistance when stepping into something new
• What aligned action actually looks like in real life (not just on Instagram)
• Why short, high-impact containers can be more effective than long-term work (depending on your design)
• The power of self-trust—and how it’s built over time

Chapters:
00:00 – Welcome + crossover episode intro
02:00 – What “Return” and “Self Trust” are really about
04:00 – Human Design in action (Manifestor + Projector dynamics)
06:30 – Inside Caitlan’s Power Move intensive
11:00 – Why traditional business advice didn’t work
15:30 – The 2am “download” that changed everything
18:30 – Self-trust, fear, and doing the thing anyway
24:00 – From therapist to entrepreneur: rewriting the model
31:00 – Behind the scenes of Power Move (live coaching begins)
40:00 – Manifestor energy + working in spurts
45:00 – Incarnation cross + revealing what’s not working
52:00 – Selling, messaging, and “markets” in Human Design
57:00 – The truth about community (and what it actually means)
01:01:00 – Short-term depth vs. long-term work
01:05:00 – Final reflections + how to work together

Links & Resources:

• Learn more about Caitlan’s Power Move intensive
• Learn more about Emily's Luxury Immersions
• Episode mentioned: Luxury Immersions (Episode 87 – Self Trust Podcast)
• Episode mentioned: Power Move (Episode 106 – Return Podcast)
• Connect with Emily Romero
• Connect with Caitlan Siegenthaler

Calling all therapists and 1:1 service providers....

You know that move you've been wanting to make in your business? Well this summer is the perfect time to make it.

Entre.. Power Move the 7 day Business Intensive with me, Caitlan a former corporate girlie turned therapist where we use human design and parts work to make your move come true.

Get the lowest price for life when you book by the end of June.

Book here: https://www.caitlansiegenthaler.com/powermo

Support the show

Produced by Caitlan Siegenthaler
Cover Art by Kiara Opara

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me. And if you really loved it, the best thank-you is a written review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.

That is a beautiful energetic exchange for Caitlan creating the show.