When I was growing up, there was a cult-like therapy called EST (Erhard Seminars Training), which couples and singles could attend. I subsequently learned that it became Landmark Forum. I mention it because when I think of retreats, having never attended one, they always feel mysterious and somewhat secretive. Still, I know plenty of people who regularly go on retreats, and I know now how beneficial it can be to switch off from the world for several days and absorb whatever knowledge is being imparted.

Kanya Ford, my guest on this week’s podcast, hosts a couples retreat called Fools in Love Couples Retreat. Here, couples can take a break from their usual environment and address relationship issues. The retreat includes purposeful activities, community meals, and opportunities for couples to support and learn from each other. Each year, she introduces new elements to keep the sessions fresh and interesting.

The retreat lasts from Thursday or Friday to Sunday afternoon. As she explains during our conversations, emotions can run high during the retreat, with happy tears, sad tears, and frustration. The motivation for attending the retreat varies, from reigniting sexual passion to seeking help before marriage. The retreat is open to a diverse mix of people, and the average age of attendees is between 35 and 45. What particularly fascinated me about her retreat is that she tends to keep them below ten people so each couple is able to spend quality time with Kanya and the other participants, as well as with each other.

In addition to the retreat, Kanya offers one-on-one coaching and group classes called Mind Phucked (I love this!), which focus on utilising the mind to set the body free in relationships. These classes include touch yoga, pleasure mapping, and deep stretch exercises. Kanya emphasises the importance of maintaining intimacy and connection in relationships, especially in the senior years.

00:00 Introduction to the Fools in Love Couples Retreat

01:24 Digging into Relationship Nuances at the Retreat

04:06 Addressing Emotions and Apologies at the Retreat

05:13 Motivations for Attending the Retreat

15:13 Utilising the Mind in Group Classes

You can find Kanya at:

https://loveandintimacy101.com/

https://www.instagram.com/coachkay101

Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

In this episode, I have the pleasure of chatting with Denise Renye, who is a sexologist, sex therapist, yoga therapist, and psychedelic therapist. We dive into the fascinating role of psychedelics in the lives of older adults and how they can enhance intimacy and help manage pain. Denise shares her insights on being a psychedelic therapist and how she guides individuals in integrating their experiences into everyday life.

We also discuss the importance of communication in relationships and how psychedelics can open up new avenues for exploring desires, boosting both emotional and physical connections. It’s a heartfelt conversation that underscores the need for greater awareness and access to professionals in the field of sex therapy. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Denise Renye and her multiple titles

03:21 Integration of psychedelic experiences

06:18 Enhancing relationships through psychedelics

12:43 Breaking down boundaries in relationships

19:28 Using sensual activities to enhance intimacy

25:54 The importance of sensate focus technique

32:00 The need for awareness and access to sex therapy professionals

Dr. Denise Renye

Licensed Psychologist* Certified Sexologist * Psychedelic Assisted Therapy and Integration * Certified Yoga Therapist

https://WholePersonIntegration.com

Darlaine Honey is a Sexual Health Advisor working with Berkshire Healthcare and lives in Surrey, South of England. Having been diagnosed with lobular breast cancer, she is also an advocate for Breast Cancer Now on the workflow task force plus Breast Cancer Now / Ann Summers/My ViV collaboration for sex after breast cancer.

During the COVID lockdown, Darlaine and some friends formed the charity Lobular Breast Cancer so that other women could learn more about it.

As is evident from our discussion and from previous discussions I’ve had with those working in the area of sexual health, both in the UK and in the US, there’s not enough being done to support older people to have a healthier and happier sex life.

There’s an assumption that sexual health advisors are there to support younger people. At the same time, the stats reveal that more older people are presenting with STDs than ever before, thanks to escalating divorce rates and the opportunity through dating apps and elsewhere for sexual encounters.

I also learned, towards the end of our conversation, of the impact of drugs used to treat breast cancer on women’s sexual health and was shocked to discover how they may contribute to vaginal atrophy and a significant decline in libido and sensitivity, none of which patients are commonly told when undergoing treatment.

My friend Sam Evans, who runs a sex toy shop called Jo Divine, has spoken via her social media channels about ‘medical misogyny’ and, in talking with Darlaine, it’s clear how much more needs to be done to ensure women receive the information we all deserve to make educated decisions about our overall wellbeing which includes our sexual health.

If you’d like to learn more about Darlaine’s work, you can reach her on LinkedIn.

Show your support for Lobular Breast Cancer here:

https://lobularbreastcancer.org.uk/darlaine-honey/

Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. Paid subscribers support my ongoing work to help older people have a healthier, happier sex life and receive an additional subscriber-only post per week.