Last year, Kristyn recorded a podcast with her partner/co-parent Kevin titled “Discord Mode.” This conversation is effectively a part 2 of that conversation, and a public offering of repair after a public rupture event.

How can cis/het white women compassionately offer grace (the same grace Black women have given us) to our men in order to invite them into liberation while also not tolerating abusive fragility? How can pivoting a relational framework from “husband” to “friend” create spaciousness for secure attachment to (finally) flourish? Why does patriarchy have to be such a fucking sinister villain?

If you like Reality TV- especially fraught emotional predicaments based on historical abandonment wounds and attachment patterns, you may really enjoy this “Reality Podcast.”

Please tend to your nervous system and listen with caution, while moving/tasking, and/or taking many breaks, or even consider skipping this episode altogether. Be kind and compassionate to yourself.

#attachment #liberation #couplestherapy #realityTV

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Grateful for all the learning and inspiration in today’s episode:

Carmen Spagnola's podcast marriage miniseries, courses on Secure attachment and Contact Nutrition on The Numinous Network

Zawn Villines’ podcast with Desiree Stephens

Desiree Stephens’ substack about extending grace

Desiree Stephens’ substack on interrupting fragility during repair

Hospicing Modernity (Book)

Ani Difranco: “If more people were screaming then I could relax”

Roadmap to Liberation with Rev. angel Kyodo williams

As always:----------------------------------

Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song:

Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song

“Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams

Shout out for the artistic assistance of:

Matt Schubbe (Logo)

Kevin Carlow (Music and sound editing)

Note: This Writers Group episode is more of a diary entry documenting our creative process rather than a well-researched audio essay about a theme or an outlined interview. Transitions may feel jarring or confusing since the priority is consent and privacy over elements of our work. If you have a pressing question, feel free to ask on substack! (These conversations occurred in September 2025)

Today’s episode is about the push and pull between Pantsing (ie: writing by the seat of your pants) vs Plotting (ie: outlining the story ahead of time. Kristyn shares a cute anecdote about how her opening was inspired by ideas shared on a fandom’s reddit page. Matt relieves some of Kristyn’s anguish by reminding her that “the bud is not the mistake before the flower” and the emotional intentions of editing. (She still kinda hates it, though)

You can find Matt here and here

Follow the podcast on Substack or Instagram!

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Grateful for all the learning and inspiration alluded to in today’s episode:

Jeanna Kadlec: “Embrace the Cringe” and “No new stories”

Sarah Faith Gottesdiener ‘s Moon Studio & Moonbeaming Podcast

People’s Oracle, Dayna Lynn Nuckolls “Liberation is Collective Imagination”

Thanks to Sophie Strand for “Compost Heap”

Resources in the “Compost Heap”: Zawn Villines’ Low Value Men

For more deconstructing fundamentalist Christianity, check out Tia Leving’s Instagram and Substack and Jeanna Kadlec’s “Heretic: A Queer Revolt Against Evangelicalism, Empire, and the Lies we are Sold”

Liberation with Rev. angel Kyodo williams

As always:----------------------------------

Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song:

Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song

“Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams

Shout out for the artistic assistance of:

Matt Schubbe (Logo)

Kevin Carlow (Music)

Remember, Remember the 5th of November! The movie V for Vendetta is now 20 years old, and it is clear from looking around that the dystopia has arrived!

Why is it important to listen to and follow native Voices in the reVolution? How can we all be a little more mischieVous in how we disrupt the status quo? What is it that makes Costa Rica a Blue Zone anyway? Just how many layers of symbolism are there to the Guy Fawkes mask in the 2005 movie {V for Vendetta} anyway?

Kristyn with a why chats with Adri Leiton about the importance of being in solidarity with indigenous people everywhere, the importance of community and mutual aid with the iGuana Collective, historical and cultural insights about Costa Rica (specifically the Guanacaste province), and grappling with power and privilege, all through the lens of the story {V for Vendetta}.

Follow La Colectiva de La iGuana on Instagram and Facebook

Follow the podcast on Substack and Instagram!

#vforvendetta #rememberrememberthe5thofnovember #guyfawkes #PuraVida #costarica #colectivadelaiguana

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Grateful for all the learning and inspiration alluded to in today’s episode:

Desiree Stephen’s Substack: No Kings, just Kinship: From March to Momentum

“Disruption leads to Risk”

For more on protecting yourself from the Empire's mass surveillance, YK Hong’s Liberation Toolbox is a must!

Timothy Snyder’s Book: On Tyranny

“Do not obey in advance”

The Flag that Adri mentions from the scene he watched on TikTok

Carmen Spagnola’s Numinous Network for practicing grappling with settler identities and land acknowledgments

Cosmic Anarchy is a great substack to follow, like this piece on revolution and mutual aid

Liberation with Rev. angel Kyodo williams

As always:----------------------------------

Thankful for the musical inspiration for the theme song:

Hadestown by Anais Mitchell, specifically “Our Lady of the Underground” and Orpheus’ Song

“Hedwig’s Theme” by John Williams

Shout out for the artistic assistance of:

Matt Schubbe (Logo)

Kevin Carlow (Music)