Ellen Adair and Eric Gilde discuss the 1956 Japanese film "I Will Buy You," directed by Masaki Kobayashi, grading it on the 20-80 scouting scale. They introduce the film (1:11), with an overview of the story, cast, and director. If you have not seen this film and are following along at home, use this handy reference. Kishimoto: the scout. Kurita: the baseball star. Kyuki: the coach. Fueko: Kurita's girlfriend. Ryoko: Kyuki's mistress, also Fueko's sister. Also, if you're just joining, a review the 20-80 baseball scouting grades for rating the film (9:05). Amount of Baseball (12:14) considers different interpretations of the title sequence, and Ellen speculates about a kinship with a 1950s Japanese audience, adding a personal baseball-in-Japan anecdote. Player comp...exists. With Baseball Accuracy (18:53), our scouts dive in on Japan's history of player acquisition, as best as they can (with help from Jim Allen and Kozo Ota). Ellen refers to Allen's piece about Testuya Yoneda and Masanori Murakami, while Eric provides equivalents for the salary numbers discussed. What is the Toyo in Toyo Flowers for? Is it a joke? They also discuss Japanese team names, Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown, and a brief history of Japan's baseball origins. Storytelling (34:17) revels in the spy movie vibes, the opening and closing of the film, and some well-planted storyline seeds. But some issues exist with the usage of voiceover, misdirected storytelling in the early film, and our introductions to both Fueko and Kyuki. Feelings are mixed about Kishimoto shoving Kyuki into a car and the little plastic airplane, but a travel discussion highlights the isolation of Shikoku. They imagine giving this many gifts to J.T. Realmuto. They also discuss the complexity of the characters, the panoply of gambling, trickery and corruption, Kyuki's illness, sneaky letters, baseball players as commodities, and Ellen's Favorite Kind of Story. There is comparatively little to discuss with the Score (1:12:34). Acting (1:14:51) praises Keiji Sada's (Kishimoto) more modern style of acting, Yunosuke Ito's (Kyuki) incredible performance and physical life, Minoru Oki's (Kurita) subtlety, and excellent moments from Keiko Kishi (Fueko). Delightfulness of Catcher (1:19:23) and Delightfulness of Announcer (1:20:17) follow. Lack of Misogyny (1:21:41) considers the characters of Fueko and Ryoko, and the wise handling of the chemistry between Fueko and Kishimoto. No spoilers on the following segments: Yes or No (1:29:10), Six Degrees of Baseball (1:35:01), Favorite Moment (1:39:04) Least Favorite Moment (1:41:27), Scene We Would Have Liked to See (1:43:11), Dreamiest Player (1:45:00), Favorite Performance (1:45:27) Next Time (1:46:50) and Review Thank You (1:48:24). Bonus plug to check out the podcast "Sometimes It Rains!"

Ellen Adair and multi-hyphenate writer/actor/baseball fan Brian Gene White discuss the hilariously bad 1977 made-for-TV movie, "Murder at the World Series." They talk about Brian's upcoming comic book series, DEATH'S ASSISTANT, his play IS NOT THAT STRANGE, and the 2020 World Series, an apropos topic for Brian's Dodgers's fandom. Ellen kicks off an introduction to the film (6:14) "Murder at the World Series," including approximate synopsis, writer, director and some cast credits. After a review of the 20-80 scouting scale (13:46) and an introduction to Brian's scouting director (15:04), they dive in on Amount of Baseball (15:58). Baseball Accuracy (23:02) examines the accuracy of lineups and game seven pitching match-up, Brian's deep dive on J.R. Richard (with quotes from Jeff Pearlman), Bill Virdon Fun Facts, Astros and A's 1976/77 IRL, promoting a rookie for game six of the World Series, brief discussion of the 2022 and 2017 World Series, Brian's experience of fan bases from being a tour guide at Dodger stadium, the character of Alice listing Brooklyn Dodgers from the 1940s, Mary Shane and the history of female baseball broadcasting, w/r/t Jenny Cavnar, Suzyn Waldman, Jessica Mendoza, and some fan accuracy. This film requires a new segment, The Relevant-o-meter (57:11), rating how relevant the various characters are to the central plot. They get into the meat of Storytelling (1:09:43), clarifying that no, this is not based on Tom Seaver's book, and discussing the very (unintentionally) hilarious moments in this movie that made the scouts laugh til they wept, the creepy van, unearned Stockholm syndrome, the (un)likelihood of the Houston Astros paying ransom and other various ransom storyline plotholes, Steve as a walk-on try-out (with some context from Keith O'Brien's CHARLIE HUSTLE), this film's structural destruction of its midpoint action sequence, the dynamite in Steve's pants, the problems of baseball stakes vs. thriller stakes, and more. The Score Tool (1:48:22) discusses how John Cacavas's score is redolent of the 1950s and 1970s, and mostly adds to the hilarity. Acting (1:53:21) considers the performances of Michael Parks, Murray Hamilton, Gerald O'Laughlin, Tamara Dobson, Joseph Wiseman, Nancy Kelly, Janet Leigh, and Bruce Boxleitner, and discussion of 1970s film acting versus 1970s TV acting, with some thoughts about changes in acting style scale from the 1940s to today. Brian brings up the Dramas in the Emmys that year. Delightfulness of Catcher Character (2:02:00) finds not enough of Gene Tenace or Astros Catcher, but Delightfulness of Announcer (2:02:41) appreciates Dick Enberg's excellent contribution. Lack of Misogyny (2:05:11) discusses largely structural misogyny problems, with the film punishing the women with the most sexual partners, and some ridiculous double standards. No spoilers on the following segments: Yes or No (2:14:44), Six Degrees of Baseball (2:18:03) with bonus discussion of Jamie Lee Curtis as "dialogue coach," Favorite Moment (2:19:27), Least Favorite Moment (2:20:23), Scene We Would Like to See (2:21:13 Scene We Would Like to See), paging Rian Johnson, Dreamiest Player (2:24:24) and Favorite Performance (2:25:23).
Follow Brian Gene White @briangenewhite on Instagram/Threads, or Ellen Adair @ellen_adair on Twixter, @ellenadairg on Instagram/Threads, @ellen.adair on Tiktok / Bluesky

Ellen Adair and Eric Gilde discuss the 1946 Looney Tunes Bugs Bunny cartoon, "Baseball Bugs." They introduce the cartoon (1:20), with an overview of the story, cast, director and writer, and discussion of the title's play on words. A Legal Disclaimer (6:55) clarifies that this review establishes no precedent for the cartoon to be viewed as a "film," w/r/t the dispute of Alan Sepinwall v. Joe Posnanski / Mike Schur. They review the 20-80 baseball scouting grades for rating the film (9:01), with an apropos metaphor. Amount of Baseball (12:17) begins joyously, considering the density of baseball content, and at attempt at a player comp. Baseball Accuracy (14:43) opens with a consideration of judging cartoon baseball accuracy, and the ramifications of Bugs playing multiple positions, including his sprint speed, with reference to Roman Quinn and Tim Locastro. The Gas House Gorillas appear to flout roster-size regulations, both at bat and in the field. A Dylan Bundy outing is remembered. They discuss the inconsistency of who is the home team, background on the Gashouse Gang Cardinals, Dizzy and Daffy Dean, Madison Bumgarner, Zack Wheeler, the Polo Grounds, and how many players are on the Tea Totallers. Some issues: Bugs' final out, with reference to Duaner Sanchez, Clayton Kershaw and Marcell Ozuna, and his super-immaculate inning (or is it?). That is not a regulation bat. That IS a balk. Where is the pitching rubber? Storytelling (38:46) discusses the evolution of Bugs Bunny, and this cartoon as ultimate wish fulfillment, the Tea Totallers, the Bat Boy, and the screaming liner. Rating the Score (46:57) praises the iconic Looney Tunes music, the genius and career of Carl Stalling, the benefits of a full studio orchestra. Musical puns bring reference to the Atlanta Braves' organist. Acting (51:09) revels in Mel Blanc's virtuosity, even if this is not the most prime vehicle. They contemplate how writing creates a ceiling for acting; roles, not actors, are Oscar-caliber. Delightfulness of Catcher (54:58) weighs Bugs vs. the Gas House Gorillas' catcher, who clearly deserves a suspension. Delightfulness of Announcer (58:35) wonders: does the barbershop quartet count? Is the announcer visiting, or a Gorillas' partisan? Lack of Misogyny (1:02:35) considers the problem of the only female forms being literal objects. No spoilers on the following segments, although there is one moment when Ellen Completely Loses It: Yes or No (1:04:59), Six Degrees of Baseball (1:07:40), Favorite Moment (1:08:59) Least Favorite Moment (1:11:50), Scene We Would Have Liked to See (1:12:25), Dreamiest Player (1:13:53), Favorite Performance (1:15:38) Next Time (1:15:54) and Review Thank You (1:17:59).

Ellen Adair and Eric Gilde gird themselves to discuss the 2006 Happy Madison production, "The Benchwarmers," grading it on the 20-80 scouting scale. They introduce the film (1:20), with an overview of the story, cast, director, writers, and the sources of its "humor." A backstory on why David Spade and Rob Schneider were cast! They review the 20-80 baseball scouting grades for rating the film (8:52), with an on-the-nose metaphor. Amount of Baseball (11:28) sees Eric return to the quality vs. quantity debate, while Ellen tries to be generous while they have the opportunity to do so. Reference to the double-play from the sporting goods store owner's team and maple syrup on a Ho-Ho. But with Baseball Accuracy (15:42), Ellen reassesses a long-established precedent. They examine the feasibility of a three-person baseball team, particularly given Clark (Jon Heder) and Richie's (David Spade) unbelievable lack of motor skills. The one-person team idea rears its head again with Gus (Rob Schneider), with references to Shohei Ohtani, as always, and Jackie Bradley Jr. Batting order ramifications are also touched on: how could they be up 17-0? An Ellen Adair breakdown on more scoring problems in a different game, and a dive in to history with the story of Danny Almonte. They also discuss Reggie Jackson and Jon Moscot's appearances, the classic MLB parks folded into the new stadium, however improbable its construction timeline, the tournament structure, and physics accuracy problems. Lastly: are the Benchwarmers even appropriately named? Storytelling (42:26) goes back through the dusty files to compare to scoring on "Ed." Age and time also do not exist in this film. The movie's mean-spiritedness is discussed, with its bevy of homophobic and fatphobic jokes, its attitude towards the character of Marcus, whom Gus used to bully, and little people in general. The training montage with Reggie Jackson irks one scout. Confusion about Mel's (Jon Lovitz) profession leads to a discussion about adult nerds, a Diet Coke ad, a sick burn about using the internet, and the Star Wars product placement. Nick Swardson's character: why? Also there is a robot butler. They bring up "The Bad News Bears," Jack Todd's Dave Dombrowski anecdote, Gus's weird Mountain Time lie, and violence against opposing children. Rating the Score (1:11:24) brings up "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," "Jerk It Out," a Gandalf meme, and need for therapy. Acting (1:13:11) is a philosophical inquiry: could anyone do better? Eric gives his spontaneous hypothetical. Jon Lovitz is always excellent. Ellen shares their affection for David Spade, but misgivings about the casting. Delightfulness of Catcher (1:19:28) considers Spade as a catcher character, specifically, and the opposing catchers. Delightfulness of Announcer (1:20:45) considers the two podcasting children and why the girl is given almost no lines. But also: Lack of Misogyny (1:21:48) considers the lack of intelligence required of the female characters in order to be love interests to their unpleasant male counterparts, and the universe in which mean and/or stupid derps get smoking hot chicks 3/3 times. Gus's baffling avoidance of sex with his model-gorgeous wife is also discussed, plus: ovulation accuracy. No spoilers on the following segments: Yes or No (1:28:12), Six Degrees of Baseball (1:31:29), Favorite Moment (1:33:45) Least Favorite Moment (1:36:32), Scene We Would Have Liked to See (1:37:48), Dreamiest Player (1:39:39), Favorite Performance (1:40:12) Next Time (1:42:58) and Review Thank You (1:44:29).

Ellen Adair and Eric Gilde discuss the classic 1973 film, "Bang the Drum Slowly." They introduce the film (1:19), with an overview of the story, cast, director and writer. They review the 20-80 baseball scouting grades for rating the film (8:04), with Eric's best metaphor yet. Then, they begin with Amount of Baseball (10:33), discussing the lack of extended baseball sequences, the desire for a Jomboy breakdown, and a 2020 player comp. Eric surprises Ellen with his scoring. Baseball Accuracy (15:42) considers Bruce's stupidity as a catcher, Henry's left-handedness, the excellence of the Athletics and Orioles at the time, the appearance of Brooks Robinson, and filming at Yankee Stadium, Shea, and the Phillies' Clearwater venue. Some questions are answered, others are pondered: why does Bruce call Henry "Arthur"? What will our scouts call him? Crucially, are the New York Mammoths, the team depicted, in the American or the National League? The confusion of fictional teams playing real teams is discussed, with reference to the "new" Phillie Phanatic. Ellen also brings up Steve Carlton and the 1972 Phillies, plus Don Money. There are other problems: reverse phantom baserunners, visitors to the dugout, the organizational decision-making structure. An Ellen Adair Breakdown on a comparison for Henry's contract negotiations, pre-Catfish Hunter, concurrent with Curt Flood. A strange Thurman Munson coincidence! Storytelling (40:06) discusses the overture of the beginning, expectations and confusion, Tegwar, and Dutch's pursuit of the truth to the Minnesota trip. The contract negotiation scene is revisited, leading to a conversation about adapting a novel to a film. Praise for the movie's deft handling of heavier themes, confusion about the fly speech. Rating the Score (1:05:06) examines Stephen Lawrence's composition and his "Sesame Street" background, along with the Ken Burns moment, "The Streets of Laredo," "The Unfortunate Rake" "Spanish Ladies," "Look Before You Weep," and Ralph Kiner. Acting (1:13:11) lays praise at the feet of Michael Moriarty and Robert DeNiro, in particular, as well as Vincent Gardenia and Phil Foster. The actor who plays Bradley is not a favorite. Delightfulness of Catcher (1:16:54) revels in an abundance of catchers with a lovable Bruce Pearson at the center, despite a Gary Sanchez burn. The age of Robert DeNiro and Tom Ligon is addressed, along with Piney's costumes, Goose's lovely scene with Henry, and Red's advice. Delightfulness of Announcer (1:23:21) does not offer much. Lack of Misogyny (1:23:45) debates whether or not the film itself has a misogynist viewpoint on Katie, Bruce's call-girl fiancee, and the female owner of the Mammoths. Props to Tootsie. A high number of female characters for a baseball movie is a positive takeaway. No spoilers on the following segments: Yes or No (1:31:58), Six Degrees of Baseball (1:34:59), Favorite Moment (1:35:52) Least Favorite Moment (1:38:19), Scene We Would Have Liked to See (1:39:55), Dreamiest Player (1:41:25), Favorite Performance (1:42:13) Next Time (1:43:56) and Review Thank You (1:44:54).

Ellen Adair and Eric Gilde discuss "Twelve," a 2019 family film about a little league baseball player. They introduce the film (1:18), with an overview of the story, cast, and writer/director. 20-80 baseball scouting grades for rating the film (4:08), they begin with Amount of Baseball (5:43), discussing the abundance of high-quality baseball, with reference to particular moments and a 2020 player comp. Baseball Accuracy (11:36) considers Kyle’s pitch speed vs. real-life velocity from 12 year-olds, including the fastest Little League pitch, and the effect of the shorter distance between mound and home plate in Little League, with reference to Patrick Corbin, Dylan Bundy and Mike Minor. Eric shares his top pitching speed and looks into the feasibility of Kyle’s heart-stopping pitch. There are some issues with Lou Grey the Stanford scout, citing Ozzie Smith, Andrelton Simmons, Asdrubal Cabrera, Kevin Frandsen, Spencer Torkelson, and Bryce Harper. Kyle's knuckle-curve is a bright spot. Plus, is he a Stephen Drew fan?! Eric dives in on other players who wore 12, and has some videogame accuracy issues. Storytelling (36:40) discusses the confusing passage of time, "spring break"?, ADR or lack thereof, balanced with excellent baseball storytelling. Ted's work status is confusing and Chad and Ted's confrontation less than satisfying, but the tight structure of this as a family film is praised. They appreciate the moral about practice and the film's version of wish fulfillment, but are less fans of the Xavier storyline. Consideration of Kyle's pitching rival and their insane postseason stats. Rating the Score (1:02:00) examines Joe Carrano's composition, which is heroic without being heavy-handed. Acting (1:04:55) considers navigation of the script's pitfalls, and the pair dives in on the ramifications of budget on shooting schedule, with reference to soap opera shooting schedules. Delightfulness of Catcher (1:15:47) asks several philosophical questions, while Delightfulness of Announcer (1:19:42) does not offer much. Lack of Misogyny (1:22:13) examines the three-dimensionality of Beth, the mom, and Brooke, the girlfriend. No spoilers on this game, or the following segments: Yes or No (1:27:55), Six Degrees of Baseball (1:32:51), Favorite Moment (1:33:55) Least Favorite Moment (1:36:02), Scene We Would Have Liked to See (1:37:24), Dreamiest Player (1:40:54), Favorite Performance (1:41:17) Next Time (1:44:49) and Review Thank You (1:45:34).

Ellen Adair and Eric Gilde discuss a baseball-themed episode of "The X-Files," titled "The Unnatural" (season 6, episode 19). They introduce the episode (1:19), with an overview of the story, cast, and writer/director. After a description of the 20-80 baseball scouting grades for rating the show (5:25), they begin with Amount of Baseball (7:41). The episode presents a similar grading challenge to "The Mighty Casey," but with further conundrums. Three true outcomes baseball in 1947? A rundown of all the baseball events in the episode ensues. Baseball Accuracy (11:36) considers Negro League accuracy, with the Roswell Grays vs. the Homestead Grays, Josh Exley vs. Josh Gibson, and the tearing at the fabric of reality, with the angel of Leon Carter ("Bingo Long...") and the devil of Bobby Rayburn ("The Fan") on the scouts' shoulders. Brief shout-outs to James Raleigh "Biz" Mackey and Buck Leonard. Mickey Mantle's home runs bring up the concept of naming specific stats as a test of baseball acumen, with reference to Barry Bonds, Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, Bartolo Colon, Aaron Nola, and Cliff Lee. Eddie Perez also tears at reality's fabric somewhat, and the team speculates about the 90s Braves, specifically Greg Maddux, John Smoltz and Chipper Jones. Mulder's ode to box scores and the "Pythagorean Theorem for jocks" are both examined, along with night games and the Kansas City Monarchs, cactus accuracy, Jackie Robinson and Larry Doby. The Ellen Adair Breakdown considers the opening game, including the field's boundaries, the umpire, Gibson's folkloric Pittsburgh home run, baserunning and Fred Merkle, and Exley's home run "pace." (Don't @ us, Tom Tango.) Why do the Yankees scouts leave mid at-bat? Typical. Storytelling (40:53) discusses references to "E.T.," "Citizen Kane" and Pete Rose, before wondering about the intentionality of metaphors to the unknowability of Negro League stats and Jim Crow alien parallels. Dales' argument that all the greats are aliens, like Babe Ruth, Willie Mays and Sandy Koufax, solves some problems and creates others. Is Arthur Dales an unreliable narrator? The fairytale of the ending of Exley's story, the persistence of metaphor in the episode, and the tagline all add up to...? Ellen has problems with a Gibson-esque player being an alien, and Eric has problems with inconsistent head bonks. What is the aliens' "project"? Who is the strange child? So. Many. Questions. Rating the Score (1:07:14) examines Mark Snow's composition and Blind Willie Johnson's "Go with Me to that Land." Acting (1:09:15) discusses the enduring excellence of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, along with guest stars Jesse L. Martin, Frederic Lehne and M. Emmet Walsh. Delightfulness of Catcher (1:10:54) considers the obvious catcher snippets--but is there a catcher hiding in plain sight? Delightfulness of Announcer (1:15:46) poses the philosophical question: how delightful is two seconds of Vin Scully? Lack of Misogyny (1:15:46) weights Scully's smarts versus her disdain for baseball and appreciation of nonfat tofutti rice creamsicle, as the only speaking female role in the episode. Consideration of the moment that Exley turns into a woman. And a BONUS one-time-only segment: Alien Or Not (1:19:15)! But no spoilers on this game, or the following segments: Yes or No (1:24:12), Six Degrees of Baseball (1:28:29), Favorite Moment (1:29:08) Least Favorite Moment (1:29:46), Scene We Would Have Liked to See (1:31:27), Dreamiest Player (1:32:53), Favorite Performance (1:33:19) Next Time (1:35:00) and Review Thank You (1:35:58).

Ellen Adair and Eric Gilde discuss the movie "Fever Pitch," the 2005 Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore romantic comedy, set against the backdrop of the Red Sox 2004 season. They introduce the film (1:24), with an overview of the story, cast, and director. After a description of the 20-80 baseball scouting grades for rating the film (3:26), they begin with Amount of Baseball (5:10). How do baseball clips, not scenes, rate? What is the minimum requirement for a baseball scene? Plus, date movie deception, and a player comp. Baseball Accuracy (9:50) considers the fictional Red Sox regular season 9th inning rally versus the Yankees, the legitimacy of Lindsey (Barrymore) running across the field in the ALCS, and binoculars that can see into the future or past. Editing around Lindsey getting hit with a foul ball creates some discrepancies for Mike Myers and Miguel Tejada. Our hosts delve into some historical moments: Dwight Evans's two-homer game in 1980, Pesky's Pole, Johnny Pesky, Thomas Yawkey, Ted Williams, the Polo Grounds, and Curse of the Bambino examples, ie. Roger Moret, Tony Conigliaro, Ed Armbrister and Carlton Fisk, Bucky Dent, Bill Buckner, Grady Little and Pedro Martinez, and other missing curse elements. They also discuss the possibility of a Cubs-based story, Bart Giamatti, spring at Fenway accuracy, Johnny Damon's ass, and offseason fandom. Storytelling (34:00) has much love for the dozen Pete Roses e-card, but much confusion about the timeline of the courtship, made problematic by Boston weather accuracy and things Lindsey should really be able to infer about Ben (Fallon) from context clues. Tonal inconsistency dominates. Is Ben sweet or creepy? Is he insecure or confident? Examination of the first date includes the difficulty of genuine vomiting sounds in television and film. Bonus subsections from Ellen: "Extracurricular Activity Accuracy" and "I Empathize." They discuss Ben's baseball elegies, luck in baseball, portrayals of fandom as addiction, cell phone gags (with a realization), and Lowell Ganz, Babaloo Mandel and "A League of Their Own." Rating the Score (1:05:11) examines The Standell's "Dirty Water," Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline," the Dropkick Murphy's "Tessie," with deep-dives on the history of these songs by Eric. Nick Drake's "Northern Sky" and "The Yastrzemski Song." Acting (1:15:16) sees a debate on Jimmy Fallon's performance, discussing the pull of sketch, spontaneity, ad-libbing, and Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show." Drew Barrymore's believability in this film also discussed. Delightfulness of Catcher (1:22:56) presents a conundrum, but the pair reminisce about meeting Jason Varitek and Ellen reads a short poem. Delightfulness of Announcer (1:25:40) is also a challenge, with such excellent examples present as Joe Castiglione, Peter Gammons, Bob Lobel, Harold Reynolds and Dave O'Brien. Lack of Misogyny (1:27:41) examines the depiction of Lindsey's friend Robin versus the women in the film on the whole, and the "not like the other girls" conundrum. No spoilers on the following segments: Yes or No (1:33:30), Six Degrees of Baseball (1:38:14), Favorite Moment (1:39:20) Least Favorite Moment (1:41:02), Scene We Would Have Liked to See (1:45:48), Dreamiest Player (1:47:50), Favorite Performance (1:48:34) Next Time (1:49:44) and Review Thank You (1:50:32).