Show note links: Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app Go grab your £20 or $25 discount on your Sensate device: https://www.getsensate.com/fran Freebies: Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101 Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram Ways to work with me: Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 & Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com Products: Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook Contact: Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ The Art Of Surrender This is a little bit of a follow on from last week's episode about the identity death and rebirth process of change, so if you haven’t listened to that episode yet I suggest you start there. When we’re talking about any kinds of changes and identity shifts in any way we need to learn to let things go. We need to learn to be in those moments of uncertainty and essentially, surrender to the process. So this is all about the art of surrender. This is something it took me a while to truly learn. I’m an enneagram 6 so naturally I'm quite the planner. I’ve always liked to look at all potential outcomes with a tendency to veer towards the worst case scenario. So this is a valuable skill to learn because that’s no fun. It makes everything feel harder, like you’re swimming against the tide or pushing water uphill. It’s recognising that trying to control everything is a protection mechanism. It FEELS safer BUT there’s a LOT more mental suffering involved than there needs to be. It’s about literally stopping fighting with yourself and the process. Learning to handle all the things that can make it more difficult. So we’re talking about releasing the need for control.It’s about allowing, not controlling or forcing. Even when you say those, which feels easier and more enjoyable? How many times have you suffered in your own head about a potential or worst case scenario and the reality was far better. That has its merits at times for sure and is certainly where I've spent most of my life. BUT, what if you can have the same outcome WITHOUT the suffering in your own head first? That would be better, right? So it’s learning to trust that whatever the outcome you WILL be ok. This is something I really live by. I have ‘everything happens for a reason’ tattooed on me in latin. Many people cringe at that phrase, and I get it. For me it really is a life philosophy and my interpretation of it really is how I've learned to surrender. It’s not my natural state of being by any stretch of the imagination. But my solid belief is that whatever happens to me (or FOR me, wink, wink, nudge, nudge) no matter how awful it feels at the time. I completely trust that something good will eventually come from it. Even if it takes time. I know in my bones that eventually I will be looking back and saying, that was awful, but if it hadn’t happened I wouldn’t be who and where I am now. It’s a solid belief system for me. I got there by looking at the evidence across my whole life. It’s ALWAYS been true. Even the darkest of things has had a positive outcome or lesson that I'm grateful for eventually. When you have that, you don’t feel the need to control as much and do the all important process of not having an attachment to the outcome. It’s hugely freeing. It’s another reason why I call it growing pains. It doesn’t stop it being painful at the time. All change is painful, like I said last week, we’re fighting against our unconscious programming and our nervous system’s idea of what’s SAFE. So it’s going to be uncomfortable. There are a few other things you can do to lean into the art of surrender. Firstly, you really have to know what it is you’re working towards or moving away from. Knowing what that looks like and at the same time being open to it being a bit different, better even. How many times have you heard someone say ‘it’s even better than I could have imagined’? Be open to a few potential nice surprises along the way. ‘This or ...
