Ever notice how some kids just cannot talk about hard things- especially if it’s about their own mistakes or ‘bad’ behavior? Maybe they melt down the second you bring it up… or shut down completely.

Let’s unpack what’s really going on when kids refuse to talk about mistakes or anything that feels “bad.” You’ll learn why their brain might be protecting them from feelings that are just too much - and how you can gently help them build the capacity to feel bad and still be okay.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why refusing to talk about hard things isn’t defiance—it’s protection
• What’s happening in the brain when a child remembers something painful or shame-filled
• How to scaffold conversations about mistakes using stories, characters, and your own modeling
• The difference between avoiding hard conversations from connection mode versus protection mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Resources included in the blog summary go here

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutmistakes

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Is your child suddenly quiet… but you can feel something bubbling under the surface?

They aren’t yelling, running, or arguing like usual- but you can tell their system is still fired up and on high alert.

Today, we’re talking about that “quiet volcano” version of watchdog energy. It looks calm. Still. Almost possum-like.

But inside? Their nervous system is holding a TON of activation right under the surface.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to tell the difference between true shutdown and contained watchdog energy, why some kids start holding everything inside, and how to help that “stuck” activation soften and move in safe, co-regulated ways.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why watchdog energy can go quiet and look totally still, even though it’s NOT regulated
• How to figure out what’s really going on underneath the “calm” exterior
• What to do when your child is a volcano on the inside, including simple movement-based strategies that help the nervous system come back into rhythm and relational safety

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/volcanoes

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode originally aired in October 2024.

All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.

Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change.

But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How all brains create reality
• The brain’s most important job
• The most effective path to take if you want to see behavior change

There is a free, one-page infographic that summaries the neurobiology of behavior in my Free Resource Hub! The infographic captures inside/outside/between, the stream of the now and the stream of the past, and 11 million bits of data.

Grab that infographic and more than 20 additional resources in the Hub!

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

https://RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If you're parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system, grief is an ever-present companion, whether we acknowledge grief or not.

The holiday season often stirs that grief up a bit more. Our kids need more accomodations, they don't find the same things fun that other kids do, and sometimes it feels like special events aren't even worth it.

As November begins, I'm replaying this previously episode all about grief in parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The relationship between trauma and grief
• Why it's important to make space for grief in our kids and in ourselves
• The role of self-compassion
• How a lack of media representation of your parenting journey causes grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/grief

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Sometimes our kids look completely calm- even smug — while doing something that definitely isn’t a behavior of connection.

But…they’re not melting down. They’re not screaming. They seem totally in control.

Seems kinda like owl brain, yeah?

But- it’s not. It’s protection mode, even if the behavior seems calm.

In this episode, we’ll talk about how kids can use their thinking brain in the service of their protective brain. They might plan, plot, and problem-solve… but they aren’t integrating. They aren’t considering other people, or long-term consequences. They’re thinking, but they’re not connected.

In this Episode You’ll Learn

• Why calm doesn’t always mean regulated (and what’s really going on in those moments).
• How “clever” misbehavior can actually be protection mode — even when it looks smart or controlled.
• How a child can plan into the future- and still be in protection mode.
• What to do after the Owl Brain returns — how to hold accountability, repair, and make success inevitable next time.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Resources included in the blog summary go here

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/calculated

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

You ask your child what happened, and before you can finish the sentence, they’re already saying, “It wasn’t my fault!”

Sound familiar?

I know this is SO frustrating! But there’s a reason this is so hard, and it has everything to do with (of course!) the brain and nervous system.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why taking responsibility is an Owl brain skill that depends on reflection, regulation, and cause-and-effect thinking
• How Watchdog and Possum states block the ability to reflect and instead create defensive, blame-shifting language
• Simple ways to grow your child’s capacity for responsibility through connection, regulation, and safety, not shame
  
  

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• All About Me workbook ($15 download on my website or FREE with your Club membership)

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/responsibility

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Sometimes you share something about the brain—like how all behavior makes sense—and people push back hard. Maybe they dismiss it. Maybe they even get mad. It can feel confusing, because once you see the truth of relational neuroscience, it feels like such a relief. So why are some folks so resistant?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why resistance is often the nervous system’s way of protecting from grief, shame, or instability
• How relational neuroscience challenges not just parenting practices but entire worldviews
• Ways to respond—with compassion for others and yourself—when resistance shows up

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Parenting When Your Partner Is Not On Board {EP 146}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/resist

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)