Detra Denise - Ashes and Embers: How Detra Denise Turned Pain into Power PART 1

Content Warning: CSA, suicidality, familial estrangement

My guest today is Detra Denise, a former pastor's wife who dared to change her life in unimaginable ways. After leaving her toxic marriage, Detra moved to New York City to start over. Thanks to both her love of connecting with people and her musical and storytelling skills, Detra built an exciting and meaningful new life for herself—and was featured in Brandon Stanton's "Humans of New York" along the way!

From writing and performing her own one-woman musical show to creating her own premium cigar line, Detra's story of resilience is powerful and deeply moving.

DETRA’S LINKS:

http://www.detrasstory.com/

https://www.instagram.com/onewomannyc1?igsh=MWl2cDB2ZWptYmRlMA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

https://www.facebook.com/detra.denise.52

https://youtu.be/gj4alIQTka4?si=VD1hLyzE8iztnBd9

FIND JANICE SELBIE:
Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here. https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025 available here. https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/

Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Sign up here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

For help with recovery from religious trauma, book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media:
linktr.ee/janiceselbie

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician. The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host.

Support the show

This week on the Sex & Power Podcast, I'll be speaking with Kiki Negress, The Uppity Negress.

Kiki Bryant is known across platforms as the Uppity Negress: a brilliant, incisive voice on race, feminism, religion, and culture. She is also an entrepreneur and creator. In this episode, Kiki shares about the painful childhood that helped shape her bold, intersectional style of truth-telling. Join us to learn what she wishes white feminists would understand about allyship and power dynamics, and a whole lot more.

FOLLOW KIKI

https://uppitynegress.com/

https://www.threads.com/@uppity_negress_

https://www.instagram.com/uppity_negress_/

FIND JANICE SELBIE:
Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here. https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025 available here. https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/

Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Sign up here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

For help with recovery from religious trauma, book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media:
linktr.ee/janiceselbie

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician. The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host.

Support the show

Jennie Gage - Life, Take Two!

Divorced: Mormonism

TW: Suicide attempt

Jennie Gage is a writer, creator, and former Christian nationalist and Mormon trad wifey turned outspoken advocate for justice, compassion, and community. Through her YouTube channel and “Life, Take Two” podcast, she blends personal story with sharp cultural critique, exposing harmful systems while lifting up the people they fail. Jennie’s work is raw, honest, and deeply human — a voice for anyone rebuilding their life, reclaiming their power, and choosing to care in a world that teaches us not to. Jennie lives with her partner and their kids in sunny Arizona.

FIND JENNIE:

YouTube: @lifetaketwo7662

TikTok: @lifetaketwo

IG: @lifetaketwojennie

Substack: @lifetaketwo

FIND JANICE SELBIE:
Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here. https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025 available here. https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/

Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Sign up here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

For help with recovery from religious trauma, book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media:
Threads https://www.threads.com/@divorcingreligion
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/divorcingreligion/
BlueSky: @janiceselbie.bsky.social
Subscribe to the audio-only version of the Divorcing Religion Podcast here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician. The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host.

Support the show

Melody Post - House of Yahweh Cult
Divorced: Christianity

CW: Mention of suicide and trafficking

Melody Post was a member of the House of Yahweh Cult from 1989 to 1994. At age 18, she was married to the cult leader's son and gave birth to a child within the group, assisted only by midwives, having not seen a doctor throughout her pregnancy. She left in 1994 when the leader, her father-in-law, introduced polygamy into the teachings after being caught cheating on his wife. In this episode, Melody shares candidly about how her family got sucked into the House of Yahweh cult, what led her to leave, and some of the psychological challenges related to recovery for former cult members.

Melody now co-hosts and helps produce the Cultimatum Podcast, where she shares her story and helps provide a platform for other cult and trafficking survivors to speak out. She is also the founder and creator of the Cult Escape and Healing Group on Facebook, a supportive online community with over 2,000 members. In this group, survivors of cults connect, share resources, and find understanding as they rebuild their lives after leaving.

FIND MELODY:
Cultimatum Podcast Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/groups/1910498486077283

Cult Escape and Healing Group on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2575419069406501

Cultimatum YouTube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHrJGNsf1PjQEe-
Cultimatum Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/cultimatumpodcast/
Cultimatum TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@cultimatumpodcast

FIND JANICE SELBIE:
Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here. https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo
Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025 available here. https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/
Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Sign up here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services
For help with recovery from religious trauma, book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media:
Threads https://www.threads.com/@divorcingreligion
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/divorcingreligion/
BlueSky: @janiceselbie.bsky.social
Subscribe to the audio-only version of the Divorcing Religion Podcast here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician. The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host.

Support the show

Elyse Bouvier - Unfolding Faith Film

Divorced: Christianity

Today, Canadian filmmaker Elyse Bouvier joins me to talk about her journey out of Christianity, and how it became the topic of her film Unfolding Faith, which will be released online for free streaming by The NFB – National Film Board – in Canada this month. Here’s a short synopsis of Elyse’s film, which will resonate with many of you:

Calgary photographer and filmmaker Elyse Bouvier reflects on how giving up her faith reshaped her identity and her relationship with her parents. In raw yet empathic conversations with her devout mother, and her father, Elyse explores the roots of religion in family dynamics and what happens to those bonds when faith is lost.

Some of the themes from the film include: Family, love, identity, and Living without religion.

In this episode, Elyse shares her journey out of Christianity, how the support of secular friends was so helpful, and what it was like working with her parents in her film.

LINKS:

Unfolding Faith can be streamed free of charge on the National Film Board of Canada platform nfb.ca or the NFB app.

Rocky Mountain Atheists

We(stern) Can(adian) Reason Conference

FIND JANICE SELBIE:

Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here.

Recordings are now available for the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025! Get your Resource Ticket: https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/

Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Don’t miss this opportunity to connect with others for support: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Need help on your journey of healing from Religious Trauma? Book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media:

Threads: https://www.threads.com/@divorcingreligion

BlueSky: @janiceselbie.bsky.social

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcingreligion/

Subscribe to the audio-only version of the Divorcing Religion Podcast here:

https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host.

Support the show

Dr. Pavna K. Sodhi (Part2) - Navigating Internalized Racism in 3rd-Generation Punjabi-Sikh Immigrants

Welcome to Part 2 of my interview with Dr. Pavna K. Sodhi.
Dr. Sodhi joins me again to share her knowledge about Punjabi-Sikh teachings, values, practices, and experiences. Today, we discuss internalized racism and how it can force 3rd-generation Punjabi-Sikh Immigrants to divorce religion. Dr. Sodhi shares her personal experiences as a 2nd-generation Punjabi-Sikh Immigrant and the challenges and opportunities of raising her children in Canada.

ABOUT Dr. SODHI:
Pavna K. Sodhi (she/her), EdD, is a registered psychotherapist, author, speaker, and adjunct professor residing in Ontario, Canada. With over 25 years of psychotherapeutic and research experience, Dr. Sodhi has interacted with a multitude of populations in various clinical, academic, and supervisory spaces. Her professional background and personal narrative offer a unique research perspective regarding culturally responsive trauma-informed work, BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour) communities, and immigrant mental health. Her research has been featured in national and international scholarly journals and books. She credits her Punjabi-Sikh upbringing and lived experience for her continued interest in these timely topics. As a productive ally, she takes pride in decentring systemic racism, breaking barriers, and encouraging others to be culturally responsive. Her latest book titled, Trauma-Informed Psychotherapy for BIPOC Communities: Decolonizing Mental Health (Routledge) was launched in June 2024.

FIND Dr. SODHI:
Her book:
https://www.routledge.com/authors/i16038-pavna-k-sodhi?srsltid=AfmBOooC1Epb96bBMPCvsQdMiOVHHzOWpPku2b-7pVApOLqDfePmEIij
Website: https://www.pavnaksodhi.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sunotherapy/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pavna-k-sodhi-she-her-67b81615/

FIND JANICE SELBIE:
Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here.
Recordings are now available for the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025! Get your Resource Ticket: https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/
Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Don’t miss this opportunity to connect with others for support: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services
Need help on your journey of healing from Religious Trauma? Book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media:
Threads: https://www.threads.com/@divorcingreligion
BlueSky: @janiceselbie.bsky.social
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcingreligion/
Subscribe to the audio-only version of the Divorcing Religion Podcast here:
https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.
The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host.

Support the show

Dr. Sarah Farrell - Shattering Into a Whole

Divorced: Christian Fundamentalism

Sarah M. Farrell, PhD, MSW, LICSW is a researcher, academic, and clinical social worker (who sometimes fancies herself a stand-up comedian). She has over a decade of clinical practice experience with diverse clientele. Having grown up in a deeply insular religious group practicing evangelical fundamentalism, she focuses both on seeking empirical knowledge and shedding light on stories that have been held back for too long. Systemic injustice within the church is perpetuated by lack of resources and lack of access to knowledge with which to make informed choices. She seeks to do what she can to be the voice she lacked. Her research seeks to answer questions about what has happened and what can change for the better.

Today, Sarah shares about growing up in an insular religious group and how she came to understand her experiences were outside the norm while attending college. Her slow but steady deconstruction was also influenced by changes in the political landscape.

FIND DR. FARRELL:

https://sarahmfarrell.com/

Threads: https://www.threads.com/@gertrude.peebles

Email: contact@sarahmfarrell.com

FIND JANICE SELBIE:

Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here: https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo

Recordings are now available for the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025! Get your Resource Ticket: https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/

Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Don’t miss this opportunity to connect with others for support:

https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Need help on your journey of healing from Religious Trauma? Book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here:

https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media:

Threads: https://www.threads.com/@divorcingreligion

BlueSky: @janiceselbie.bsky.social

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcingreligion/

Subscribe to the audio-only version of the Divorcing Religion Podcast here:

https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host.

Support the show

Lacey Bond - From Bible Study to Sex Ed, Part 2

Divorced: Christianity

CW: Frank discussion about sex

Lacey Bond (IntimacyLacey) is a Certified Sex, Relationship, and Intimacy Coach and sex/kink educator based in Los Angeles. She's dedicated to helping people heal from Purity Culture, growing healthy relationships with other people and developing awesome, shame-free sexuality.

Today, Lacey educates us about sexuality spectrums, consent and coercion, and kinksploration for the purity survivor.

FIND LACEY:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/intimacylacey

Tiktok under @IntimacyLacey

www.IntimacyLacey.com

Lacey’s Kink & Purity Culture book research info/interest page:

https://www.intimacylacey.com/book-research-interest

FIND JANICE SELBIE:

Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here: https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo

Recordings are now available for the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025! Get your Resource Ticket: https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/

Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Don’t miss this opportunity to connect with others for support:

https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Need help on your journey of healing from Religious Trauma? Book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here:

https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services

Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media:

Threads: https://www.threads.com/@divorcingreligion

BlueSky: @janiceselbie.bsky.social

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcingreligion/

Subscribe to the audio-only version of the Divorcing Religion Podcast here:

https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host.

Support the show