What happens when the identity that once defined your life disappears?

In this powerful episode of The Hanley Effect, hosts Dr. John Dyben and Dr. Rachel Docekal sit down with speaker, author, and founder of the Choose Yourself Movement, Hakeem Bourne Mcfarlane, to explore how personal loss, trauma, and identity struggles can lead to addiction, and how radical accountability can lead to transformation.

Hakeem shares the deeply personal experiences that shaped his path: the devastating loss of his younger brother, the pressure of athletic success, and the collapse of his identity when his dream of becoming a professional athlete ended. Without the structure sports once provided, he found himself spiraling into destructive patterns that many high performers face when achievement becomes their entire sense of self.

Through years of reflection, recovery work, and rebuilding his life, Hakeem developed what he calls the “Choose Yourself” philosophy, a framework for reclaiming identity, healing unresolved pain, and creating purpose through personal responsibility and contribution.

In this conversation, Hakeem breaks down the five pillars of his Choose Yourself process, explaining how identifying emotional triggers, changing environments, and building daily discipline can transform how we see ourselves and our potential.

This episode dives into the deeper truth often discussed in recovery: addiction is rarely just about substances, it’s often about the unresolved void underneath. Healing that void requires awareness, accountability, and the courage to choose a different path.

If you’ve ever struggled with identity, purpose, or breaking destructive patterns, this conversation offers both practical insight and powerful motivation.

Episode Highlights

• Hakeem McFarlane’s personal journey from grief and identity loss to recovery and purpose
• Why addiction is often a symptom of deeper emotional voids
• The Choose Yourself Movement and its mission to help people reclaim their identity
• The TEFIC framework: Triggers, Environment, Foundation, Investment, and Contribution
• How daily discipline and self-awareness help break destructive cycles
• Why contribution and helping others is a key part of lasting recovery
• The difference between performing a role and living authentically

Key Takeaway

True transformation begins when we stop waiting to be chosen by others and instead choose ourselves—our healing, our purpose, and the life we want to build.

Resources & Links

Learn more about the Choose Yourself Movement at chooseyourself.info

Learn more about Hanley Foundation at hanleyfoundation.org or call 844-502-4673.

In this uplifting and heartfelt episode of The Hanley Effect, Dr. John Dyben and Dr. Rachel Docekal welcome Bruce W. Brackett, author, artist, motivational speaker, life coach, and advocate for recovery, positivity, and mental health.

Bruce shares his powerful story of moving from early trauma, addiction, and self-sabotage toward sobriety, healing, and purpose. With honesty, humor, and compassion, he opens up about what it took to stop running, ask for help, and begin showing up for himself day by day. His message is clear: no matter what you’ve been through, you are still worthy of growth, self-forgiveness, and a meaningful life.

The conversation explores Bruce’s recovery journey, the life-changing impact of therapy and 12-step programs, and the mindset shift behind his newest book, Show Up and Shimmy. He explains that “shimmying” is more than a fun phrase; it is a practice of self-care, self-love, courage, and taking the next right step even when fear, doubt, or pain are present.

This episode is full of hope for anyone navigating addiction recovery, mental health challenges, trauma, or the ongoing work of becoming who they were meant to be. Bruce’s perspective is both inspiring and practical, reminding listeners that healing is not linear, support matters, and the version of you that you dream about is already waiting.

If you or someone you love is on a recovery journey, this conversation offers encouragement, validation, and a powerful reminder that you do not have to do it alone.

In This Episode, You’ll Hear:

• Bruce W. Brackett’s story of sobriety, recovery, and healing
• How childhood trauma and addiction shaped his early life
• Why positivity is a practice, not a personality trait
• The importance of therapy, community, and 12-step recovery
• What “Show Up and Shimmy” really means in everyday life
• How self-forgiveness can become part of the healing process
• Why sitting with hard feelings is different from staying stuck in them
• How one supportive person can make all the difference in recovery
• Why doing no harm to yourself is a powerful place to begin

Key Takeaways

Bruce reminds listeners that recovery is not about having everything figured out. It is about continuing to move forward, even through discomfort, uncertainty, and fear. He speaks candidly about relapse, radical acceptance, and the value of asking for help. Throughout the episode, he emphasizes that healing is possible, purpose is real, and every person is worthy of love and a better future.

About Our Guest

Bruce W. Brackett is an author, international motivational speaker, certified life coach, artist, entrepreneur, and advocate for positivity, recovery, and mental health. He is the author of How to Breathe While Suffocating and Show Up and Shimmy, and he shares messages of hope, resilience, and possibility with a social media community of more than 1.4 million people. Through his art, writing, and speaking, Bruce encourages others to reclaim their worth and step into their full potential.

Guest Resources

Website: bwbart.com Socials: @bwb.positivity Books: How to Breathe While Suffocating and Show Up and Shimmy

Learn More

To learn more about Hanley Foundation programs, visit hanleyfoundation.org or call 844-502-4673.

What happens when the justice system treats addiction and mental health as public safety priorities without losing sight of compassion?

In this episode of The Hanley Effect, hosts Dr. John Dyben and Dr. Rachel Docekal sit down in person with Alexcia Cox, State Attorney for Palm Beach County (and longtime prosecutor and community leader), for a grounded conversation about what it looks like to balance accountability with care.

Alexcia shares her journey as a Palm Beach County native who chose a life of public service, and why protecting residents includes safeguarding people seeking help, especially in the behavioral health and addiction treatment space. She reflects on the community’s progress since the height of the opioid crisis, the importance of ethical, evidence-based treatment, and the continued role of the State Attorney’s Addiction Recovery Task Force in identifying and prosecuting bad actors.

They also explore why collaboration across agencies and community partners is one of the most powerful tools we have, whether that’s through the Criminal Justice Commission (CJC), problem-solving courts like drug court, or prevention efforts that help young people navigate peer pressure and risk.

If you care about recovery, prevention, and building safer communities, this episode offers real insight into how systems can work better together.

Episode Highlights

Why ethical addiction treatment is a public safety issue, and how Palm Beach County confronted treatment fraud The ongoing work of the State Attorney’s Addiction Recovery Task Force, including reporting pathways for suspected wrongdoing New initiatives launched under Alexcia’s leadership, including a focus on violent repeat offenders and protections for vulnerable residents Why drug court and diversion efforts matter in long-term recovery and community outcomes The role of community collaboration in reducing stigma and improving outcomes across systems Alexcia’s personal “why”: service, mentorship, and building a safer Palm Beach County for families

About Our Guest

Alexcia Cox is the State Attorney for Palm Beach County and a longtime public servant with nearly two decades of prosecutorial experience. She has served in leadership roles across the justice system, helped advance behavioral health-informed strategies, and supports efforts that balance public safety with intervention and recovery-focused solutions.

Learn More

To learn more about Hanley Foundation programs, visit hanleyfoundation.org or call 844-502-4673.

What does it look like when a high-performing organization treats mental health as health—not a side conversation? In this episode of The Hanley Effect, Dr. John Dyben and Dr. Rachel Docekal sit down with Megha Parekh, Executive Vice President and Chief Legal Officer of the Jacksonville Jaguars, for a powerful conversation about crisis readiness, trauma recovery, and leading with empathy in high-stakes environments.

Megha shares how volunteering with Crisis Text Line transformed the way she shows up at work and in life, replacing the “fix it” reflex with active listening, grounded presence, and one essential question: “What would be most helpful to you?” She also opens up about surviving a home burglary and battery, how trauma reshaped her sense of safety, and the real, practical “toolbox” that helped her move through anxiety and regain stability.

Together, the conversation explores what workplaces can do when employees face suicidality, addiction, domestic violence, eating disorders, isolation, and overwhelming stress—and why compassion and business judgment aren’t opposites. They’re a leadership advantage.

Episode Highlights

• Mental health in the workplace: Why training matters before a crisis happens and how it supports performance and trust
• Crisis Text Line training: What Megha learned (the hard way) and how it changed her approach to leadership and support
• The key question that helps: Why “What would be most helpful to you?” can be more effective than advice
• Addiction and recovery at work: A real story of helping an employee get to rehab and what recovery can make possible afterward
• Trauma recovery is personal: Megha’s experience surviving a violent home invasion and how trauma can show up as anxiety, hypervigilance, and disrupted routines
• Healthy coping without shame: From comfort TV to repeat playlists, why regulation tools don’t need to “look normal” to work
• Redefining success: “The effort belongs to me, but the results do not” how to support someone without trying to control the outcome
• Meaning after loss: How losing a friend to heroin addiction helped shape Megha’s commitment to prevention, support, and honest conversations

About Megha Parekh

Megha Parekh is the Executive Vice President and Chief Legal Officer of the Jacksonville Jaguars. She oversees major legal and business initiatives including compliance, risk management, government relations, technology, security, employee development, and stadium and real estate projects. A Harvard undergraduate and law graduate, Megha is also a dedicated volunteer with Crisis Text Line, supports community initiatives including Habitat for Humanity, and advocates for survivors of trauma and greater access to mental health resources.

To learn more about Hanley Foundation programs, visit hanleyfoundation.org or call 844-502-4673.

In this solo-hosted episode of The Hanley Effect, Dr. John Dyben sits down with trauma therapist and researcher Dr. Trisha Wolfe, Ph.D., LPCC, SEP, NARM for a clear, science-grounded conversation about complex trauma, developmental trauma, and why so many people feel stuck even after years of insight-based therapy.

Dr. Wolfe specializes in working with high-achieving perfectionists, people pleasers, and chronic overthinkers, the ones who can explain their patterns perfectly (“I know why I do this…”) but still can’t create lasting change. In this episode, she explains why that’s not a personal failure. It’s biology.

Together, they unpack what trauma really is (and what it isn’t), why trauma is often shaped by perception and nervous system context, and how somatic therapy helps by including the body’s language, sensations, impulses, and survival responses, alongside thoughts and emotions. If you’ve ever wondered why logic doesn’t shut off anxiety, why reassurance doesn’t stop panic, or why “trying harder” only makes you more exhausted, this episode offers a practical roadmap: nervous-system-friendly change, one small experiment at a time.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• What “trauma” actually means and why the “everything is trauma vs. nothing is trauma” debate misses the point
• The difference between single-incident trauma and complex/developmental trauma
• Why two people can experience the same event, yet only one develops a lasting trauma response
• What somatic means in therapy (in plain language) and how body sensations can guide healing
• How the body sends messages to the brain, and why focusing only on thoughts can miss major clues
• Why people can have deep insight but still feel stuck: insight doesn’t automatically change the nervous system
• How survival strategies like intellectualizing, over functioning, shutdown, and people pleasing start as protection, not character flaws
• A powerful reframe: self-sabotage is often self-protection that can be updated
• What families can do to support healing: connection without pressure, with boundaries

Episode Highlights

• Trauma is about perception and impact: It’s not only what happened, it’s how the nervous system experienced it and what lasting impairment remains.
• Somatic therapy basics: Thoughts and emotions matter, but body sensations are a third “doorway” into healing.
• Your brain can “hide” things: The nervous system keeps survival learning behind the curtain, so the body may reveal what words can’t.
• Why reassurance doesn’t work on panic: “It’s safe” is language; the body responds to sensations and threat templates.
• The path forward: Change happens through small, nervous-system-friendly experiments that build new neural pathways over time.
• For families: Validation, presence, and connection without pressure can create the safety where healing becomes possible.

To learn more about Dr. Wolfe visit: https://www.cbustherapy.com/

To learn more about Hanley Foundation programs, visit hanleyfoundation.org or call 844-502-4673.

In this episode of The Hanley Effect, Dr. John Dyben and Dr. Rachel Docekal sit down with renowned family psychologist Dr. Michelle Sherman, a clinical psychologist with more than 30 years of experience supporting families navigating addiction, mental illness, trauma, and PTSD. Named the American Psychological Association’s Family Psychologist of the Year (2022), Dr. Sherman shares both her professional expertise and personal lived experience as a family member impacted by mental illness, addiction, and loss.

Together, they explore what families in crisis often feel but rarely say out loud: confusion, helplessness, worry, stigma, shame, and isolation, and why the healthcare system has historically missed a critical piece of the recovery puzzle: supporting the family system and, especially, the children.

Dr. Sherman also highlights her long-standing collaboration with her mother, writing practical, workbook-style resources that help adults and teens feel less alone and more equipped to face the realities of living with a loved one’s mental illness or trauma history. The conversation closes with a powerful call to action: making it the norm, not the exception, to ask about a patient’s children and connect families with resources.

Episode Highlights

• Why family work matters: How addiction and mental illness ripple through the entire family—and why treatment must address more than the identified patient.
• The “waiting room” wake-up call: What Dr. Sherman saw in VA hospital waiting rooms that sparked decades of family-focused programming and advocacy.
• The emotions families carry: Loneliness, fear, anger, grief, stigma, shame, and “Why won’t they just stop?”—and why these reactions are so common.
• The “casserole” difference: Why communities often show up for physical illness—but fall silent when the crisis is mental illness, addiction, or psychiatric hospitalization.
• Supporting kids impacted by addiction: Dr. Dyben and Dr. Docekal share how Hanley Center’s Children’s Family Program helps kids ages 7–12 understand addiction in developmentally appropriate ways—and learn it’s not their fault.
• Honesty without fear: How to talk to kids about family history, genetics, and risk in ways that empower rather than scare them.
• A gap in teen resources: Dr. Sherman explains why teens living with a parent’s mental illness or trauma are often “invisible” in the U.S. system—and what other countries are doing differently.
• Research + real-world impact: How even a small grant can launch meaningful change and why measurement and program evaluation matter in behavioral healthcare.

Resources Mentioned

Dr. Sherman’s website includes free family resources, handouts, activities, and more: seedsofhopebooks.com

Featured books discussed:

Loving Someone with a Mental Illness or History of Trauma: Skills, Hope, and Strength for Your Journey I’m Not Alone: A Teen’s Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has a Mental Illness or History of Trauma

To learn more about Hanley’s Children's program, visit hanleyfoundation.org

In this episode of The Hanley Effect, Dr. John Dyben and Dr. Rachel Docekal explore the question: What is sex addiction, and how is it connected to substance use and shame? Joined by Kim Litton, LCSW, CAP, CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and author of I Do It for Her: A Memoir of Recovery and Redemption from Sex, Love, and Substances, they break down how compulsive sexual behavior can become an obsession-and-compulsion cycle that persists despite consequences, often alongside alcohol and drug use. Kim explains why sex addiction is frequently rooted in intimacy wounds, how it can present differently for women through emotional attachment and validation-seeking, and why shame keeps people silent and stuck. With both clinical expertise and lived experience in recovery, she offers a powerful reminder that healing starts when we bring secrets into the light, because shame loses power when we tell one safe person.

Kim explains how sex addiction can be minimized or joked about culturally, even though it commonly co-occurs with substance use disorders and can deeply impact relationships, mental health, and long-term recovery.

The conversation explores why sex addiction is often described as a disorder of intimacy, and how women’s experiences can look different, more emotionally entangled with attachment, validation, and the longing for love. Kim also discusses how early exposure to pornography can affect the developing adolescent brain, the role of dopamine, and why shaming kids is harmful, even while boundaries and guidance are essential.

Kim’s story is rooted in honesty: from adolescent acting out and substance use, to achieving sobriety, to later recognizing patterns of sex and love addiction that surfaced after drugs and alcohol were removed. She also speaks openly about writing her memoir as a path to freedom, both to help other women feel seen and to strip shame of its power.

The episode closes with a memorable message that applies to anyone carrying secrets: “Your shame does not own you. Tell one person—then it loses power.”

Kim Litton, LCSW, CAP, CSAT, is a therapist in Palm Beach Gardens specializing in trauma, addiction, and compulsive sexual behavior. Kim is also the author of I Do It for Her: A Memoir of Recovery and Redemption from Sex, Love, and Substances.

Resources & Links

Learn more about Hanley’s programs by visiting hanleycenter.org Call: 844-502-4673 * Book: I Do It for Her: A Memoir of Recovery and Redemption from Sex, Love, and Substances (Kim Litton) https://a.co/d/0e9KJm2u

In this trauma-informed episode of The Hanley Effect, Dr. John Dyben and Dr. Rachel Docekal welcome Vidya Nair, MSW, LCSW, and returning guest Lyanne Azqueta, LMHC, NCC, MAC, to explore a perspective that can change everything: addiction as an adaptation, not a moral failure. Together, they unpack how early experiences shape the nervous system, how “survival mode” becomes a lifelong blueprint, and why healing requires more than abstinence, it requires safety, connection, and new pathways in the brain.

Vidya shares how her early work with homeless children in India shaped her clinical lens and why the core human need is the same across all ages: to feel safe. Lyanne adds practical clarity around the brain’s role in trauma responses, how dysregulation takes us “offline,” and why substances can feel like instant relief. The episode also highlights what sets Hanley apart: a culture rooted in trauma-informed care, organizational humility, and a commitment to treating the “why” beneath the addiction.

* Addiction as Adaptation: Why substances and compulsive behaviors often begin as survival tools developed in response to trauma and chronic unsafety.

* Trauma Lenses & “Schemas”: How childhood experiences shape the way we interpret the world, like wearing “glasses” that color everything we see.

* The “Adaptive Child” & the “Wise Adult”: Understanding why we don’t “get rid” of our inner child and what it really means to heal and re-parent those wounded parts.

* The Body Keeps the Score: How trauma lives in the nervous system, resurfaces through triggers, and can drive reactive patterns long after the danger is gone.

* Neuroplasticity & New Pathways: A memorable metaphor: the old coping route is a worn path, recovery is learning to clear a new one, again and again.

* Trauma-Informed vs. Trauma Therapy: The difference between being trauma-informed as a culture (admissions, advocates, first contact) and providing specialized trauma treatment.

* EMDR Readiness: Why EMDR can be transformational, but only when a patient has enough stability and support to safely reprocess trauma.

* Recovery as Connection: How true recovery moves from object-centered living (substance as primary relationship) to relationship-centered living rooted in presence, trust, and meaning.

* A message of hope: If you’re struggling, or love someone who is, this episode offers compassionate truth: it’s not your fault, and you don’t have to do this alone.

* “Addiction is not a moral failure.” It’s often the nervous system doing what it learned to do to survive.

* You’re not responsible for the first thought, but you are responsible for what comes next. Healing is learning to pause and choose a different response.

* Connection regulates. Sustained recovery is built through connection with self, others, community, and meaning.

* Trauma work isn’t an excuse for behavior; it’s an explanation. Understanding the “why” can reduce shame and open the door to change.

Vidya Nair, MSW, LCSW, is the Clinical Director of Hanley Center’s women’s services, including Headwaters and Casa Flores, Hanley’s specialized perinatal program. She brings a deep trauma-informed lens, a background in play therapy, and a passion for building safety and healing for both mothers and families.

Lyanne Azqueta, LMHC, NCC, MAC, is a Hanley Foundation Board Member and full-time volunteer counselor who has spent decades working in addictions and trauma. A returning guest on The Hanley Effect, Lyanne is known for her compassionate, relational approach and her commitment to helping patients build lasting connection-centered recovery. Watch Lyanne's previous episode here: https://youtu.be/nhNh0yIpKlY

To learn more about Hanley Center’s programs, visit