This week, we get into Freddy Got Fingered; a film that Rob gives too much credit while Chris and Bob wish death on him. We’re kicking off our 24th season: new(ish format), new bumpers, and, most importantly, we’re digging into the mailbag. Big shoutout to Midge from Glasgow, Scotland for this request. We’re worse off for it, and for that we thank you!

Let's just go ahead and fuck this duck, shall we?

Green gives us Gord, goes for grossout gags, gets the gimpy girl, garners gonorrhea from a galloping gelding, and gains garnishments via goofy graphics! Fists full of horse cock! Japan four? Shins of sin! Bob’s bulge is back! Casual bestiality! Umbilical impropriety! Bamboo Blondes! Veggie blowjays? Wanton destruction of private property (again!)! Rip Torn’s butthole! Fist full of elephant cock this time! Chris riding Rob's coattails! Unexpected Gymkata drops, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

We’re digging into the mailbag this season, so email us you cowards! Thanks again, Midge!

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Good movie week. Alien! Starring the only person on Earth named Sigourney. What a flick! What a legacy! Too bad all the other ones mark a slow decline. We hear the new series is great though. But this is a movie podcast, and we only talk about those things as we dissect them with our state-of-the-art equipment.

This one’s great though!

Ridley renders a rival ‘restrial, who raids and rumbles relentlessly until Ripley, racked with revenge, releases the rival to ruthless reentry. Alien deepthroat sessions! Face hugging leads to face fucking! Chest ‘splosies! Snake skin duct dangles! Impatiently throbbing eggs! Points deducted for Pipe Logic (™) nightmares, and much, much more on this week's episode of The BEST Movie Ever Made!

Starting our mailbag season next week.

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This week, we close out our sequel season with The Crow: Wicked Prayer, starring John Connor cosplaying as Harry Potter cosplaying as Robert Smith if he were a Native American … or something. Rob watched every single crow sequel and reboot in preparation for this episode, and for the sole purpose of defending one of the best revenge thrillers of all time.

We once covered the OG Crow movie during good movie week, and maybe Chris will finally come around and realize how it’s a cinematic masterpiece, unlike Wicked Prayer which is just a fart in your gas pump. Bob is sick, so email him a lozenge or something. He’s gonna need it after this one.

Yelling:

Convict coerces convicts to carve, kill, and clobber, creating chaos in the community, while the curse comeback crow causes counterstrike calamity and crushes killer cunty cretins. Gratuitous textposition! Gasoline freezer fire?! Chris’ alcohol and Fruit Loop sex dungeon! Broad daylight wedding rape? Dennis Hopper jive talk! Emergency rain dance surgery, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we get into Universal Soldier: The Return, which is really the fourth film in the series, but a direct sequel to the first one. Rob and Chris think it’s an improvement from the first installment, but Bob begs to differ. As long as JCVD hits his contractually obligated slow-mo roundhouse kick quota, all is right with the world.

Here we go!

Seth surmises scientific sabotage, so surprises suits and soldiers with siege and slaughter, but is subsequently squelched in a standoff with a sprout! Disappointing lack of JCVD’s ass! Tree titty tie ups! Lookin’ at the wrong twins! The noggin toboggan/Goldberg Rosebud (™)! Supercomputer UNISOL assembly lines! Rocketing into the nether realm! Brain-operating laser inconsistencies! Unconsenting zombie slaughter, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Gearing up for an entire season of listener requests.

Email us, you cowards!

Environmental romantic thriller horror time as we dive into Birdemic 2: The Resurrection!

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Giant Jumbo Jellyfish jabs Jezebel just as Generic Joes and Josephines join to jab and jeopardize jay-like jumbo-jet sized jackdaws! Tit-scope triplets get totaled! Abhorrent audio and acting! Crows kill cavemen mid CaveHub(™) climax! Rod's rotten cod kills a kid! Rope-along Miata road head drive ‘n slide?! Big-lib Propaganda Bob! Chris’ poopin’ and doomin’! Breen by proxy?! The “didn’t make it” pile, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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You knew you’d eventually see us cover Ernest Goes to Africa, and the day of reckoning is upon us! Surprisingly, this ISN’T the most problematic movie we’ve covered on the pod, but it’s definitely up there. However! Jim Varney was such an all around good guy and wholesome figure, we’re kinda willing to give him a pass on this one.

Know what we mean, Vern?

Yucky yokel yanks a yoke to yield a yo yo, yelps and yowls, and yearns for a younger yenta! Wildly waving your wood in a crowd! Gerald Foghorn?! Grinding your goldfish in a garbage disposal! Bazoo with his big old kazoo! Pre-rape rituals? 10% Charlie?! Lack of eggshell continuity! Deserved dialect disambiguation! Wrangling what dangles, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!!!

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This week, we continue our sequel season with Tooth Fairy 2; a direct-to-video clusterfuck of recycled jokes that nobody asked for. This is truly the turd of the ages. We’d hardly call it a movie, but it clocks in at about 90 minutes and attempts to tell a story, so here we are.

Let’s Get ‘Er Doneeeeeee!

Repugnant redneck raids rugrats rooms for roots, remitting rewards, and ruining a romantic relationship! Bob goes hard on the Rs! Automobile auction adultery announcements! Beauregard with no regard for being locked up on that man’s pussy! Brooke n’ Big Boy’s BBQ blblblblbl! Larry the Cable Guy remembering the memory he doesn’t remember! Biting off Bubba’s gumption! Ass-first Fairy Land arrival! Why are birds awake, it’s twelve o’clock?! 18 creamie weemies! Bob only has 5 minutes to yank one out, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we slither our way through our sequel season with Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid; a movie that so aggressively undermines its own premise within the first five minutes of run time that it's actually impressive. We don’t know how we ended up here, and we’re certainly not happy about it.

Let’s yell it out now!

Pharma finds flowers for furthering folk’s function, forcing friends and foes to forage the forest for fauna, unfortunately, a forked tongue and fangs force fatalities and form a franchise! Snake-centered gloryholes! Hollywashing the premise! Tropical tropes on tap! Keeping a capuchin in your closet! Bushwacking for booty! Face-down open casket. Unquaffable waterfall hair? Gyrating sex balls! The Jungle Jack Smash! Unconsenting stock options, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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