This week, we get into 1980’s Alligator; a movie that is way better than we thought it would be, but feel compelled to roast anyway given the nature of this podcast. You should watch it. It’s on Tubi for free. It’s great. Sometimes it’s not. But it mostly is.

Aight, let’s go.

Gator guts guys who are getting rid of golden doodles in the garbage, gores goons in the gutter, glances at a gal, and goes after greedy grifters at a garden gathering! Writing wizard wasted! Bayou beast bartering! City sewer slasher, or the works of a sketchy scientist?! Mangy mutt murder! Wrongdoing researchers! Steroid style growth of edible animals! Colonel Vagina Helm? Globs of hormone indicators! Madison’s vagina fetcher! Horny hunters eaten in Booger Alley, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we get into Half Past Dead, or as we like to call it: Halfway to straight-to-DVD for the remainder of Steven Seagal’s career! Alcatraz! Ja Rule! Gold Heists! Cars! Guns! Russians! OH MY GOD WE’RE ALREADY YELLING SO WE MIGHT AS WELL GET INTO IT!

Here we go, cuh.

Squishy Steven is stuck in a cell, in the stockade, since stripping stolen sedans is still a sin! Segal’s disruptive force! Bromantic bazooka spooning! Tactical goth squads! Morris Chestnut and his trench coat Mafia! No Ja-rules! Sneaky, cinematic Seagal segments! Hand-to-hand henchman hoisting! Temu Tyson Beckford! Duel in the industrial arena! You don’t see a lot of swinging chain fights these days! Utilizing armed inmates! In the heli as welly! Bob is an idiot, but Chris and Rob are idioter, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week we get into 80s historical fiction, Girls Just Want To Have Fun. Not too much fun though, they don’t even say “wanna,” which would come off as a little more informal and a lot more up for anything. Champagne wishes and leotard dreams coming right up for yerrrrrr!

Here we go.

Giddy, godly, go go girls grind with guys, grappling with a groovy gyration game, giving gramps the gloomy gus groan, then green light gladness! Super 80s caucasian dance pop kind of … thing? Horny babysitting tactics! Rich Bitch Natalie is just fucking awful! Chris wants to get back there! Lynn’s limb manipulation! Rob is right about walkaround milk, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Also, shameless plug! Bob’s daughter Ilijana’s short film, A Trip To Lua, is streaming for free on Youtube.

This week, we answer Slow Drip’s request, and take on Hobgoblins! Rob has technical difficulties and melts down! Chris makes an “impastable” assertion! Bob stumps us with Fact or No Fact! This is one for the ages.

Let’s go!

A garish & grimy Gremlins grift has got growling goblinoids grabbing a geeky goober, his grimacing girlfriend, a goony gabagool guzzler, his go-to good-time go-go girl and their girly goofball gal-pal! Co-host crackhouse queries! Pussies get no snussy! Army man, the two-pump chump! Mind controlled phone-sex fuckboi, the dialup dick tickler! Chris’ profound take on unwatchable stagnant views! Club scum and the buckets of… ! Tit scope primers! Lackadaisical light lore, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Here's the mail, it never fails, except when Dustyn suggests Teen Witch, upon which we'll rail!

Saddle up, fuckers! It's time to get witchy!

Teenage trick teaser taken with a twenty something turns tempered terrain into twenties, a tot into a terrier, a toad into a tonic, and a teacher into a topless trouser twirler! The Paranormal Porkies that could have been! Fudge brother diary smudging! Sticky but fascinating classroom jabbing! Marcia Wallace! Cycle sulking on the way to an eccentric seer! Sparky Sperm and Edna the Egg! Brad Fonzies a Coke machine! Drivin’ through the fog like a hog with a hardon! Quick panic puppy bath! What happened to the apron? First-timer fuck shacks! Second-timer sex boats, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

Email us, you cowards!

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This week, we continue to dig deep into our mailbag with Kayla's suggestion, Jupiter Ascending... or as we like to call it, “Stupider Unending.” This was really, really, really, really, really, really bad. Like super bad. Not like the movie, Superbad, which is actually kinda good, but like actually super, duper bad.

What have we done?

Jupiter Jones joins a journey jonesing for genetic justice, just after Jupiter jettisons her juvenile jam! Insignificant integrity! Human goo mining! Realigning the quantum chi! Twin Tower trauma triggers! Dropping the jizz jar! Joop’s majestic powers of deduction! Vocal fry until we die! Blasting lycanthrope ropes! Canine cock! More rejuvenating jelly! Mutt mallet? Mister Whispers, the badboy brother! Gary "Oldham," and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

Don't forget that this is our mailbag season, so email us you cowards!

www.theworstmovieevermade.com

This week, we get into Freddy Got Fingered; a film that Rob gives too much credit while Chris and Bob wish death on him. We’re kicking off our 24th season: new(ish format), new bumpers, and, most importantly, we’re digging into the mailbag. Big shoutout to Midge from Glasgow, Scotland for this request. We’re worse off for it, and for that we thank you!

Let's just go ahead and fuck this duck, shall we?

Green gives us Gord, goes for grossout gags, gets the gimpy girl, garners gonorrhea from a galloping gelding, and gains garnishments via goofy graphics! Fists full of horse cock! Japan four? Shins of sin! Bob’s bulge is back! Casual bestiality! Umbilical impropriety! Bamboo Blondes! Veggie blowjays? Wanton destruction of private property (again!)! Rip Torn’s butthole! Fist full of elephant cock this time! Chris riding Rob's coattails! Unexpected Gymkata drops, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

We’re digging into the mailbag this season, so email us you cowards! Thanks again, Midge!

www.theworstmovieevermade.com

Good movie week. Alien! Starring the only person on Earth named Sigourney. What a flick! What a legacy! Too bad all the other ones mark a slow decline. We hear the new series is great though. But this is a movie podcast, and we only talk about those things as we dissect them with our state-of-the-art equipment.

This one’s great though!

Ridley renders a rival ‘restrial, who raids and rumbles relentlessly until Ripley, racked with revenge, releases the rival to ruthless reentry. Alien deepthroat sessions! Face hugging leads to face fucking! Chest ‘splosies! Snake skin duct dangles! Impatiently throbbing eggs! Points deducted for Pipe Logic (™) nightmares, and much, much more on this week's episode of The BEST Movie Ever Made!

Starting our mailbag season next week.

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