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Playback episode!! I've shared this episode on Kids These Days, but it seems like so perfect to include it again this week!

The perfect family vacation often exists only in our minds. As one friend wisely told me, "Vacation with kids isn't really a vacation—it's just life somewhere else." This distinction forms the foundation of our exploration into making family gatherings genuinely enjoyable rather than merely survivable.

Success begins with clarity about your true priorities. Are you seeking relaxation, memory-making, quality time, new experiences, or simple fun? Each goal demands different planning approaches. If relaxation tops your list, avoid overscheduling every moment. For memorable experiences, create special moments distinct from everyday life—whether through matching family shirts, unique dining experiences, or photo journals capturing your adventures. When prioritizing quality time, consider technology boundaries that allow genuine connection. And if exposing your children to new experiences drives your planning, recognize that their enthusiasm might not match yours—and that's perfectly okay. The magic happens when you align your expectations with reality while communicating openly with everyone involved.

Summer gatherings present their own challenges—disrupted routines, heat that reduces everyone's tolerance levels, unfamiliar foods, and complex social dynamics. Children thrive on predictability, so parties naturally create stress when normal patterns disappear. Prepare by ensuring kids are well-fed before events, pack backup options for picky eaters, and remember that both you and your children become less patient in hot weather. Perhaps most importantly, balance your "visit mode" (adult conversation) with attentiveness to your children's needs. Often, they require just a few minutes of connection before happily returning to independent play. By approaching these moments with curiosity rather than frustration, you transform potential conflicts into opportunities for teaching and bonding. Ready to make your next family experience truly meaningful? Start by defining what matters most, then build your plans around that vision.

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What if the way you've always approached relationships is fundamentally limiting your capacity for true connection? In this eye-opening conversation, psychologist, Dr. Beth Trammell, and licensed mental health counselor, Rachel Elder, challenge conventional wisdom about attachment, offering hope for even the most disconnected couples.

Elder, who specializes in relationship therapy through her practice Connected Couples Counseling, introduces a revolutionary framework that helps partners rewire their attachment styles from insecure to secure. She dismantles the common misconception that simply being together equals emotional connection, explaining that many couples "divide and conquer" their emotional experiences – turning to friends for some support, family for other needs, and leaving only certain aspects of themselves visible to their partners.

"I'm not dividing and conquering my emotional lived experience with my partner," Elder explains, offering a powerful alternative to the compartmentalized approach many of us unconsciously adopt. This profound shift requires both compassion for how we developed protective patterns and accountability to change them, creating relationships where partners truly feel safe, seen, and securely connected.

What sets this approach apart is its intensity and commitment to transformation. Unlike therapy models that simply validate relationship struggles, Elder's work challenges couples to immerse themselves in rewiring their connection through consistent, intentional practice. "We do two-hour sessions each week, and between sessions, you're doing three to five hours of rewiring with your partner," she shares, comparing the process to learning a new language through immersion.

The most liberating question throughout this journey? "What if you're wrong?" What if you're wrong that your relationship can't change, that you can't trust deeply, that emotional vulnerability isn't possible for you? This simple yet profound invitation to question our certainties opens the door to extraordinary growth and connection.

Ready to stop settling for a relationship that merely functions and create one that truly thrives? Listen now and discover how neuroplasticity can transform your capacity for love and connection.

Find more about Rachel at https://www.rachel-elder.com/

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

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"At least you have your health." "It could be worse." "Just stay positive!" These well-meaning phrases might seem helpful on the surface, but as licensed clinical social worker, Jacque Tyrell, and I unpack in this thought-provoking conversation, they often create more harm than healing.

Toxic positivity—that pressure to maintain an optimistic outlook regardless of circumstances—has become so normalized that many of us don't recognize when we're perpetuating it. Jackie explains how this phenomenon often comes from good intentions yet can profoundly invalidate someone's emotional experience. Even trained mental health professionals sometimes fall into this trap when uncomfortable with a client's suffering.

The conversation takes a fascinating turn when examining how the body positivity movement, originally rooted in fat liberation and challenging oppressive beauty standards, has sometimes morphed into its own form of pressure. Jackie introduces the concept of body neutrality as a powerful alternative—focusing not on loving how your body looks, but appreciating what it can do. This shift from aesthetics to functionality offers a liberating middle path for those exhausted by the constant pressure to "love themselves" in a specific way.

Perhaps most illuminating is their exploration of black-and-white thinking. Dr. Beth shares her personal struggle with constantly categorizing experiences as either "good" or "bad," creating an exhausting internal rating system. Jackie compassionately guides listeners toward finding their personal middle ground—a space where experiences can simply exist without judgment. This middle ground isn't universal but uniquely personal, making comparison with others not just unhelpful but fundamentally misguided.

Whether you're supporting someone through difficulty, navigating your own relationship with your body, or trying to break free from the tyranny of constant evaluation, this episode offers practical wisdom for approaching life with more nuance and self-compassion. Subscribe now to join the conversation about creating authentic emotional spaces in a world that often demands performative positivity.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

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What if there's no such thing as a bad kid? What if challenging behaviors are simply messages children send when they lack the emotional vocabulary to express themselves?

Licensed Professional Counselor Jillian Oetting takes us behind the scenes of a behavior modification camp founded in the 1960s that continues to transform lives today. Drawing from five summers working at this unique program and her family background of psychologists, Jillian breaks down the evidence-based techniques that help children thrive through connection rather than control.

We explore the power of token economies where children earn points for positively-framed behavioral goals—points that, crucially, can never be taken away. Learn why traditional punishments like timeouts and taking away privileges often backfire, while strategic ignoring paired with enthusiastic positive reinforcement builds intrinsic motivation. Jillian shares practical examples from both camp and home settings, including a touching story about decoding her three-year-old's resistance to school after a frightening fire drill.

The conversation reveals how shifting our language from "don't do this" to "here's what you can do" fundamentally changes our relationships with children. We discuss how teachers and parents can implement these techniques to create environments where kids feel understood, validated, and set up for success. Most importantly, we discover that sustainable behavior change happens when children feel seen, heard, and loved—even during their most challenging moments.

Ready to see behavior as communication and transform your approach to the children in your life? This episode offers practical wisdom for anyone who believes in a child's inherent goodness and wants to build connections that last a lifetime.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

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What does it really mean to live with an illness that never goes away? While most people understand the concept of getting sick and then getting better, navigating life with chronic illness requires an entirely different roadmap—one that isn't widely understood even by many medical professionals.

Licensed professional counselor Victoria Rodriguez joins Dr. Beth Trammell to unpack the psychological dimensions of chronic illness, sharing both professional expertise and personal experiences. Together, they explore what Victoria describes as "dynamic disability"—the rollercoaster of good days and bad days that characterizes many chronic conditions but often confuses both patients and their loved ones.

The conversation transforms common misconceptions into practical insights. When a family member asks "Are you feeling better today?" they're expressing care but also unknowingly reinforcing the pressure to "perform health" even when symptoms persist. The therapists offer alternative approaches that acknowledge ongoing struggles without judgment, helping listeners understand how to provide genuine support.

Perhaps most valuable is their discussion about relationship dynamics. Chronic illness affects not just the individual but entire support systems. Victoria provides concrete tools for both patients and caregivers, including creating specialized contact lists for different support needs and developing protocols that transform unexpected flare-ups from crises into manageable situations. They candidly address caregiver fatigue and resentment, offering frameworks for healthy conversations that maintain connection during challenging times.

Whether you're managing a chronic condition, supporting someone who is, or simply want to better understand invisible disabilities, this episode offers a compassionate, realistic perspective on living well despite ongoing health challenges. The key takeaway? Replace judgment with curiosity, and crisis with protocol.

For more information about Dr. Rodriguez, see her website: https://www.revivepractice.com/victoria-rodriguez-lpc-cctp-ncc

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

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Send us a text

What if the life you've carefully constructed is slowly burning you out? Dr. Beth Trammell sits down with licensed therapist Laurel Roberts-Meese for an eye-opening conversation about the reality of burnout – and why that tropical vacation you've been dreaming about won't fix it.

"Burnout comes from a pathological pattern of not choosing yourself," explains Roberts-Meese, delivering one of many powerful insights throughout this deeply resonant episode. As someone who specializes in working with high-achievers and executives, she's seen firsthand how the relentless pursuit of productivity can hollow out even the most passionate professionals.

Roberts-Meese presents a revolutionary framework for understanding burnout prevention and recovery, visualized as concentric spheres beginning with physical health, then behavioral choices, relationships, and finally, meaning and purpose. This holistic approach challenges listeners to examine not just their schedules, but the fundamental ways they prioritize (or fail to prioritize) their own wellbeing.

The conversation takes a particularly compelling turn when discussing how the people around us often resist when we begin setting boundaries. "You burning yourself out for them was kind of working for them," Roberts-Meese observes, explaining why reclaiming your time and energy can trigger unexpected pushback from loved ones.

For those already experiencing burnout, Roberts-Meese offers a practical daily practice: do just one thing in each of the four spheres every day. These small, consistent choices create a foundation for recovery that no two-week getaway could hope to match.

Whether you're on the brink of burnout or simply feeling the weight of chronic stress, this conversation provides both validation and actionable strategies to help you choose yourself without sacrificing what matters most. Visit laureltherapy.net to access Roberts-Meese's Burnout Recovery Kit and learn more about her approach to sustainable wellbeing.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

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The world feels increasingly chaotic and unpredictable. Global events, endless news cycles, and persistent uncertainty have left many of us stuck in a state of nervous system dysregulation that doesn't seem to subside. Marie Sloane returns to the podcast to share practical wisdom about finding stability when everything around us feels unstable.

Marie introduces us to a transformative "bottom-up" approach to managing anxiety. She explains why our typical cognitive strategies often fall short when our bodies are in fight-or-flight mode, using the vivid metaphor of a kindergarten classroom during a fire drill. Just as kindergartners can't hear the teacher's reassurances while alarms are blaring, our rational brain can't effectively process information when our nervous system is activated.

Through her three-part regulation pyramid, Marie offers concrete techniques that address our physiology first, emotions second, and thoughts third. From surprising somatic tools like popping sour candy (which forces salivation and signals safety to your body) to bilateral stimulation that helps process emotions, each strategy is designed to meet you exactly where you are in moments of distress.

What makes this conversation particularly valuable is its practicality. These aren't abstract concepts but immediate, accessible tools you can use anywhere—during a stressful meeting, after reading troubling headlines, or when feeling overwhelmed by world events. The beauty of Marie's approach is its flexibility; different situations call for different strategies, and you're encouraged to discover what works uniquely for you.

Perhaps most reassuringly, Marie reminds us that regulation doesn't have to be complicated or time-consuming. Sometimes the simplest techniques—singing loudly in your car, taking three deep breaths, or simply shaking out your hands—are exactly what your nervous system needs. In a world where so much feels out of control, these tools offer a path back to feeling grounded in your own body and present in your own life.

Visit mariesloancounseling.com to access the full regulation pyramid resource mentioned in this episode and discover which techniques might work best for you.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us a text

Ever been caught in that awkward moment when someone recognizes you but you can't place them? For therapists living and working in the same community, these encounters create what I call "introverted therapist nightmares"—those uncomfortable moments when professional boundaries and social niceties collide.

In today's conversation, I share how these encounters unfold and why I often tell therapy clients I'll pretend not to know them in public. It's not about being cold or dismissive—it's about protecting confidentiality when they're out with friends or family who might not know they're in therapy. But what happens when roles blur, especially as I've transitioned to more community workshops and training? That moment of panic when someone approaches with a friendly "Hey Beth!" and I'm frantically searching my memory banks trying to determine if they were a client, a workshop participant, or someone else entirely.

The solution came in a beautiful moment of clarity during a recent encounter when someone approached me saying, "Hey Beth, it's me, Jessie. I used to work for the Y." That simple self-identification immediately dissolved any potential awkwardness. Consider this your invitation to adopt this practice—when approaching someone you haven't seen in a while, especially professionals who interact with many people, a quick reminder of how you know each other can be an act of genuine kindness that eases social anxiety on both sides.

Also in this episode, I'm excited to announce that Marie Sloane returns this Friday to share practical techniques for staying regulated when the world around us feels increasingly chaotic. Plus, registration remains open for my virtual Kindergarten Boot Camp starting June 1st—a comprehensive program designed to build social-emotional readiness skills in soon-to-be kindergartners while giving parents concrete tools to support this important transition. Visit bethtrammell.com for more details and to secure your spot! Have you experienced similar social navigation challenges? I'd love to hear your stories and solutions.

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