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Interdependence is important in our most intimate relationships. When one partner breaks down, we often find ourselves filling their cup and leaving ourselves empty. This is fine and well in relationships, but when addiction is involved the prolonged and persistent nature of the lack of support will leave you playing the role of both people...carrying an immense amount of weight. It's unsustainable. Rather than relying completely on someone to carry the traits you lack to "complete you" I like to think of a partner as a shining example of the traits I should develop as we work toward being two complimentary individuals, interdependent. Don't give up on your development such that you are left motionless and lost if anything happens to your relationship. In my opinion, this idea strengthens a marriage when both people are working toward this, not weaken. My goal has always been to be preferably with my partner, but fully capable without.

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Please just hear me out. The person that sent this to you is not as crazy or out of touch or nagging as you think. I'm not going to try to convert you to anything, I've just been where you are and someone that loves you dearly wants you to know there's a way out. If you were sent this randomly by someone, please listen.

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In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige discusses "fake it till you make it" and the importance of this annoying phrase and how there's actually something beautiful underneath it all. There are of course caveats, and all of them are discussed in this quick pick-me-up episode!

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Betrayal trauma refers to the deep psychological harm that occurs when someone experiences a significant betrayal within a primary relationship such as a romantic partnership and it impacts the victim's sense of trust, safety, and security. Codependency doesn't come close to touching on the trauma experienced by spouses and partners of alcoholics, addicts, or people that have been affected by infidelity, but betrayal trauma does. In this episode we discuss betrayal trauma and its roots, as well as examples and the reasons the effects from betrayal fallout aren't as simple as picking up and moving on. Betrayal trauma has psychological, behavioral, and emotional effects that last long after the events that caused betrayal have passed. You have been through significant trauma whether you realize it or not and your healing journey begins with understanding concepts such as this. We hope you glean some validation and assistance for what's next for you as you navigate your challenges. We're here for you every step of the way.

Addiction Unlimited Podcast - This is the amazing episode on betrayal trauma referenced in the episode.

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In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige dives deep into how she moved out of the cocoon phase and discusses timeframe, how she got started, and how fitness and self care really got the ball rolling. In working through the cocoon phase, you will discover that you can do hard things, push harder than you ever have before, and become the beautiful butterfly inside using tools learned within the cocoon phase.

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In this episode we discuss the cocoon phase of healing; a familiar place for many spouses and partners of alcoholics as they process the truth of their lives and relationships and begin to transition. The cocoon phase is important in the healing process or even through crisis as we reshape our identities, rediscover ourselves, grieve, regulate our emotions, learn, and establish boundaries. It feels scary and lonely, but there's massive benefit to this process for the resilience gained and the empowered person you will become on the other side.

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In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, let's talk about how to budget the f**ks you give just like a bank account. For a spouse or partner affected by addiction, life is overwhelming and things that once garnered a lot of your attention need to be let go - and things you never thought twice about, MUST be given focus and attention. Everyone only has so much emotional bandwidth on any given day, so let's discuss how to best budget your attention and emotions so that you can care for yourself and the things that matter most.

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Compassion is a beautiful characteristic and necessary to some degree in relationships, but there can be too much of a good thing. While compassion is an important and valuable quality, excessive or misplaced compassion in such situations can lead to enabling harmful behaviors, compromising one's own well-being, and perpetuating the cycle of abuse or addiction. In this episode we discuss the importance of compassion, the ways in which it can be harmful to the spouse or partner of someone suffering from alcoholism or addiction, and how to balance compassion with boundaries and self-care.

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