• What Does It Mean to “Leave and Cleave” in Marriage (Genesis 2:24)?

  • Jul 5 2024
  • Duración: 28 m
  • Podcast

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What Does It Mean to “Leave and Cleave” in Marriage (Genesis 2:24)?

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  • Genesis 2:24 says, "A man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife." Read or listen to this material from Your Marriage God’s Way to learn what it means to leave and cleave in marriage. Table of contents"Leave and Cleave" Means Keeping the Marriage in the MarriageSeeking Godly Counsel Is the Exception When Talking Badly About Your SpouseLet Not Man Separate What God Has Joined TogetherThe Greatest Way to "Leave and Cleave" in Marriage A newly married young woman argued with her husband. Because she had a good relationship with her father, amid her hurt and anger, she went to see him. She knew her father would affirm how wonderful she was and how wrong her husband had been. When she arrived, the father opened the door, looked at his daughter, knew she was upset, invited her in immediately, and asked her what was wrong. After a few pleasantries, the daughter divulged details about her argument with her husband. The father gently rebuked her and suggested she return home. He explained, “Your husband is now the most important man in your life. You two will have problems, and you can’t return to me when that happens. It would be best if you learned to work things out together. I love you, and I’m all for the best in your marriage, so I’m giving you this counsel.” Scripture agrees with the father’s response. Genesis 2:24 says, “A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The term leave and cleave comes from this verse. We know it portrays God’s divine plan for marriage because it was instituted at creation and brought forward into the New Testament by Jesus and Paul (Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7; Ephesians 5:31). "Leave and Cleave" Means Keeping the Marriage in the Marriage When Paul commanded “a man [to] leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife” (Ephesians 5:31), he was, in effect, encouraging couples to keep the marriage between the husband and wife. Married individuals should cling to their spouses instead of anyone else, including their parents. When couples experience conflict, as all couples will, they should work things out together instead of running to others. The father in the story above understood an essential truth about marriage: under most circumstances, problems should remain between the husband and wife. In-laws can end up contributing to marriage problems, especially with newlyweds who aren’t used to being separated from their parents. But this scenario isn’t limited to parents. When couples experience conflict, frequently, they are tempted to go to friends or coworkers to criticize their spouse and talk about how badly they have been treated. They want to do this because they expect those close to them to take their side in the dispute. Some wives turn to their girlfriends. Some husbands talk to their guy friends. While parents are the only ones mentioned in Ephesians 5:31, we can extend this principle to say that if we shouldn’t complain to our parents about our spouse, we shouldn’t complain to anyone else. The dangers here should be obvious. Pouring out our anger merely stokes it. This will make us feel justified in responding poorly to our spouse, feed our belief that we deserve better treatment than we are receiving, and discourage us from seeking forgiveness for our fault in the conflict. We’ll be filled with pride instead of humility, worsening an already-strained relationship. An even worse scenario is when the offended party shares the grievances with someone of the opposite sex. The result will be: A married woman thinks I wish my husband listened to me the way he listens to me. I bet he would never treat me the way my husband treats me. A married man thinking, I bet she would show me more respect than my wife shows me. She would appreciate me and all my hard work. Complaining about your spouse to someone of the opposite sex is detrimental to your marriage and can quickly become th...
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