How to Become a Federal Criminal Audiobook By Mike Chase cover art

How to Become a Federal Criminal

An Illustrated Handbook for the Aspiring Offender

Preview
Get this deal Try for $0.00
Offer ends January 21, 2026 11:59pm PT
Prime logo Prime members: New to Audible? Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Just $0.99/mo for your first 3 months of Audible Premium Plus.
1 audiobook per month of your choice from our unparalleled catalog.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, podcasts, and Originals.
Auto-renews at $14.95/mo after 3 months. Cancel anytime.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

How to Become a Federal Criminal

By: Mike Chase
Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
Get this deal Try for $0.00

$14.95/mo after 3 months. Cancel anytime. Offer ends January 21, 2026 11:59pm PT.

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $14.99

Buy for $14.99

LIMITED TIME OFFER | Get 3 months for $0.99 a month

$14.95/mo thereafter-terms apply.
In this “excellent book for people who like to start sentences with ‘Did you know that…’” (The New York Times), discover the most bizarre ways you might become a federal criminal in America—from mailing a mongoose to selling Swiss cheese without enough holes—written and illustrated by the creator of the wildly popular @CrimeADay Twitter account.

Have you ever clogged a toilet in a national forest? That could get you six months in federal prison. Written a letter to a pirate? You might be looking at three years in the slammer. Leaving the country with too many nickels, drinking a beer on a bicycle in a national park, or importing a pregnant polar bear are all very real crimes, and this riotously funny, ridiculously entertaining, and fully illustrated book shows how just about anyone can become—or may already be—a federal criminal.

Whether you’re a criminal defense lawyer or just a self-taught expert in outrageous offenses, How to Become a Federal Criminal is “an entertaining and humorous look at our criminal justice system” (Forbes).
Crime Ideologies & Doctrines Performing Arts Politics & Government Government Funny Witty
All stars
Most relevant
A wonderful plan for my retirement. Poor Johnny Horizon. I enjoyed this book and laughed out loud more than once.

A great read

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

The last paragraph is the penultimate slam on Government stupidity and political correctness.

5 stars.

I'm a proud FedCrim - who has no idea what he did.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.