How to Have Impossible Conversations

A Very Practical Guide

By: Peter Boghossian, James Lindsay

Narrated by: Peter Boghossian

From politics and religion to workplace negotiations, ace the high-stakes conversations in your life with this indispensable guide from a persuasion expert.

In our current political climate, it seems impossible to have a reasonable conversation with anyone who has a different opinion. Whether you're online, in a classroom, an office, a town hall—or just hoping to get through a family dinner with a stubborn relative—dialogue shuts down when perspectives clash. Heated debates often lead to insults and shaming, blocking any possibility of productive discourse. Everyone seems to be on a hair trigger.

In How to Have Impossible Conversations, Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay guide you through the straightforward, practical, conversational techniques necessary for every successful conversation—whether the issue is climate change, religious faith, gender identity, race, poverty, immigration, or gun control. Boghossian and Lindsay teach the subtle art of instilling doubts and opening minds. They cover everything from learning the fundamentals for good conversations to achieving expert-level techniques to deal with hardliners and extremists. This book is the manual everyone needs to foster a climate of civility, connection, and empathy.

"This is a self-help book on how to argue effectively, conciliate, and gently persuade. The authors admit to getting it wrong in their own past conversations. One by one, I recognize the same mistakes in me. The world would be a better place if everyone read this book." —Richard Dawkins, author of Science in the Soul and Outgrowing God

Critic reviews

"This is a self-help book on how to argue effectively, conciliate, gently persuade. The authors admit to getting it wrong in their own past conversations. One by one, I recognize the same mistakes in me. The world would be a better place if everyone read this book."—Richard Dawkins, author of Science in the Soul and Outgrowing God

"In a Free Republic there would be no 'impossible conversations', which begs the question: are we truly free anymore? After reading, listening and conversing with Peter and James, I am convinced that they are the Galileo's, I. Kant and even William Tynsdale of our time."—--Glenn Beck

"I thought I knew all I needed to know about conversations and arguments. I was wrong. I just knew a lot about debates and rows. In their insightful and highly readable new book, Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay offer all kinds of ingenious pathways to constructive dialogue. At a time when public discourse has degenerated into mud-slinging and when campuses favour every kind of diversity except viewpoint diversity, this is an invaluable contribution. I guarantee that reading it will make you more -- much more -- persuasive."—Niall Ferguson, Milbank Family Senior Fellow, The Hoover Institution, Stanford

"In these polarized times, people live inside social media echo chambers of their own extremism, growing ever more self-righteous. This smart, scientifically grounded book, teeming with social and emotional wisdom, teaches how to break that isolation and effectively converse with someone with very different opinions. It will make you more adept at challenging, even changing, someone's beliefs, biases and sacred values. And it might even pave the way for making some of those changes yourself."—Robert Sapolsky, John A. and Cynthia Fry Gunn Professor of Neurology and of Neurosurgery, Stanford University

"Drs. Boghossian and Lindsay offer critical advice regarding how to talk about contentious issues in today's political climate. How to Have Impossible Conversations is a necessary guide to navigating disagreements -- and building bridges -- using approaches backed by evidence and science."—Debra W. Soh, Ph.D., science columnist and political commentator

"This fascinating book provides not only useful instruction on how to talk with someone who thinks differently, it also offers a powerful method of questioning and reducing confidence in unsubstantiated beliefs to help people think about what is true."—Helen Pluckrose, Editor, Areo Magazine

prerequisite to civility

this book should be reading material for people of all backgrounds. in the age of Twitter president and cancel culture, it is of utmost importance to relearn the art of enjoying a conversation, no matter how much of difference of opinion exists.

Lots of Christian strawmen

It has a lot of good tips and techniques and I think that we would all have better interactions with people if we all studied and learned these techniques. That being said, the authors either haven't talked to very many Christians, haven't talked with educated Christians, or are being dishonest in their portrayal of Christians. The narrator also has some difficulty pronouncing certain words, such as similarly. I would still recommend this book

Not terrible, just "meh".

The book had some useful information but wasn't easy to stay interested in. I like books where it ends and I'm left feeling like, "I wish it wasn't over!". This one kept me feeling like, "Let me just get through it". I didn't hate it, but I wouldn't recommend it to a friend.

Wonderful book

A wonderful book. I’m on my second read!! I’m sure there will be a third read

The world needs this book!

Eye opening with something for everyone. I plan to reread at least one more time, maybe several.