A Hole in the World

Finding Hope in Rituals of Grief and Healing

By: Amanda Held Opelt

Narrated by: Amanda Held Opelt

In a raw and inspiring reflection on grief, a mourning sister processes her personal story of loss by exploring the history of bereavement customs.

When Amanda Held Opelt suffered a season of loss—including three miscarriages and the death of her grandmother and culminating in the unexpected death of her sister, New York Times bestselling writer Rachel Held Evans—she was confronted with sorrow she didn't know to how face. And through her career as an international aid worker, she traveled to some of the world's most troubled regions, devastated by war, natural disasters, and disease. In the wake of these losses and exposure to trauma, Opelt struggled to process her grief and accept the reality of her pain and the pain in the world. She also wrestled with some unexpectedly difficult questions: What does it mean to truly grieve and to grieve well? Why is it so hard to move on? Why didn't my faith prepare me for this kind of pain? Does the Bible really speak to the heart of sorrow? What am I supposed to do now?

Her search for a way to process her grief led her to seek wisdom about how other people have made it through, and she found that generations past embraced rituals that served as vessels for pain and aided in the process of grieving and healing. Today, many of these traditions have been lost as religious practice declines, cultures amalgamate, death is sanitized, and pain is averted.

In this raw and authentic memoir of bereavement, Opelt explores the history of human grief practices and how previous generations have journeyed through periods of suffering. She explores grief rituals and customs from various cultures, including:

• the Irish tradition of keening, or wailing in grief, which teaches her that healing can only begin when we dive headfirst into our grief
• the Victorian tradition of post-mortem photographs and how we struggle to recall a loved one as they were
• the Jewish tradition of sitting shiva, which reminds her to rest in the strength of her community even when God feels absent
• the tradition of mourning clothing, which set the bereaved apart in society for a time, allowing them space to honor their grief

As Opelt explores each bereavement practice, it allows her to utilize these rituals as a framework for processing her own pain. She shares how, in spite of her doubt and anger, God met her in the midst of sorrow and grieved along with her. This book is a testament to the idea that when we carefully and honestly attend to our losses, we are able to expand our capacity for love, faith, and healing.

©2022 Amanda Held Opelt (P)2022 Worthy Books

Beautiful ❤️

This is a must-read for working through the inevitability of grief. Read it. Gift it.

Beautiful

Thoroughly enjoyed this book. I’ve been walking my own grief journey and this resonated with me. Thank you

Grieving observed

As someone going through grief, similarity through the death of a sister, this book has educated me, comforted me, challenged me, guided me.

I loved hearing the rituals, and understood when QEII passed why the bees were told.

Thank you, Amanda, for allowing us to observe your grief, and helping us on the long journey.

A hole in the world.

Thoughtfully written with an excellent spiritual perspective regardless of spiritual background or no spiritual background of the reader.

A Wonderful Testimony about Grief

A blessed description of the author mourning personal and familial loss while at the same time exploring and providing a glimpse of historical grief and mourning practices. The book provides an opportunity to participate in the author's grief along with the communal loss of her sister. Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us.

I like it, but it felt a little lost at times

I like her style of writing and storytelling, but this was not my favorite. I appreciate the story, but it was hard to follow what the conclusion was.

Language of early grievers

Really good. Emotionally difficult for me at points because she was “speaking my language,” being somewhat early in her grief at the time of writing. She put words to it so well. 🙏

Remarkable!

Deeply researched, compassionate account of the grieving process. Moving, with profound insights. A beautiful gift to those of us who came to love her sister.

tenderly narrated by the author herself

this was a great audiobook choice. I love when the book is read by the author. it adds so much depth and authenticity. the topic is imposing but Amanda approaches it in short easy to digest sections. relatable and at time brought me to tears recalling my own miscarriage. though cohesive and satisfying, the book doesn't try to answer every question and allows you to sit in the tension of loss and hope, as it should be with gried. I will listen again and again I'm sure.

Beautiful and Fascinating.

Amanda Held Olpelt is such a gifted writer and her reading of this book is just lovely. Learning more about Amanda’s own experiences with grief made her so relatable. Learning about so many different cultural rituals from Keening to Casseroles was so interesting. Listening to understand helped me to process more of my own grief.