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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
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Publisher's summary
Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.
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Critic reviews
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." ( New York Times)
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By: Jen Lancaster
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May We Be Forgiven
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- Narrated by: Andy Paris
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May We Be Forgiven, a darkly comic novel of 21st-century domestic life, stars Harold Silver, a historian who's always been jealous of his successful brother, George. But when the hot-tempered George is institutionalized for committing a violent act, Harold finds himself comforting his brother's wife and children. What follows is a scathing examination of a family so fractured it may never be whole again.
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Give this one a try!
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You're Better than Me
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
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Songwriter, poet, and best-selling author Travis Hunter was named Author of the Year by readers of the Atlanta Daily World. In The Hearts of Men, a reformed player, a workaholic trying to overcome his past, and a faithful husband diagnosed with lung cancer all struggle to be the men they hope to be. But life and human frailty have a way of throwing stumbling blocks before the best of intentions.
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Straight To The Hearts of Women
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Charlize "Charlie" Edwards certainly knows, in theory, what it takes to lead a successful and happy life. But she's also turning 30, chronically single, and faced with serving as maid of honor at her younger sister's wedding. Charlie finds herself struggling to juggle the chaos of wedding planning (while wondering if she'll ever wear the white dress herself), her all-consuming job for lunatic boss Stanton, and a serious crush on Jordan, a photographer on the set of Drew's latest feature - a man who might actually return her feelings.
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Great read all the way through
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
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Davie—an ugly duckling growing up in small-town Mississippi—is positive her life couldn’t be any worse. She has the meanest mother in the South, possibly the world, and on top of that, she’s pretty sure she’s ugly. Just when she’s resigned herself to her fate, she sees a movie that will change her life— Sixteen Candles. But in her case, life doesn’t imitate art.
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2 High Fives - for Monkey Night
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Graciela "Ace" Jones is mad-mad at her best friend Lilly who cancels their annual trip to Panama City for mysterious reasons; at her boss Catherine for "riding her ass like a fat lady on a Rascal scooter;" at her friend Chloe's abusive husband; and especially at Mason McKenzie, the love of her life, who has shown up with a marriage proposal three years too late.
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What a fun read.
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I stopped listening an hour in....
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White Girl Problems
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Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
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What listeners say about Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mike
- 05-30-12
Not near as interesting as the last I read
I like chesea and I loved her book recounting her one night stands but in this the story isn't as good and her narration is just not enjoyable.
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- Caprice
- 03-12-16
LOVED IT!
Very funny! Third time I have read this book and will someday read again! Great read!
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- Stacy
- 09-17-12
just OK
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
It was entertaining but I never really laughed.
What was most disappointing about Chelsea Handler’s story?
It had the potential to be funny but for some reason I didn't laugh like I did when I've listened to other comedians. I'm not sure if it was the delivery or the tone but it didn't strike me as funny.
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- Mary K
- 04-13-18
Hilarious story
What did you love best about Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea?
Chelsea is hilarious as she admits to thoughts most people would never admit to but often have
What did you like best about this story?
the dinner noir scene and the prison story
What about Chelsea Handler’s performance did you like?
having written and lived the stories she pauses at the right times and adds a certain depth and humor unique to her knowledge of the situation
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
yes unfortunately we had to do it in two sittings as we drove to and from Toronto
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Overall
- Mindy
- 02-08-09
Hilarious!!
Anyone who knows Chelsea's comedy will be in stitches listening to this book. I made the mistake of listening while working out at the gym. Numerous times I busted out laughing forgetting not everyone was listening to "Are you there vodka" on my headphones with me. The rest of the time I had to pretend I had an illness that made me laugh out loud every 10 minutes. It was hard to keep up this charade and workout at the same time, but the book was worth the awkward glares and stares.
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7 people found this helpful
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Overall
- TamGar
- 02-03-09
Chuckle worthy
If you like Chelsea from TV, you will like the book. Many times I laughed out loud and other times I was thinking "I can't believe she said that!" (but she did). A good listen if you need something humorus for a change.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Cari
- 02-15-09
i hope there's a chaser...
Great job Chelsea, I very much enjoyed your book, but much more to hear you read it. It just made the experience even more enjoyable - what a funny gal ! The whole transaction of downloading books from Audible was way too easy and the customer assistance I needed was fast and direct - thank you all -
This was a good read, rather - listen, because I really felt during her youth, I could have been there with her - I was even able to place myself in her shoes a couple times...scarey. And who knew one could be " face raped " . I had fun going on your visit to France and decided that dining with " my tickets" on table won't happen nor will I get a massage anywhere that doesn't give " happy endings" . I had fun and now I am off to order my next book -
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- Sioux
- 08-13-18
LAUGH OUT LOUD COMEDY
Uncontrollable laughter! I became a driving hazard and had to pull over. I’m glad I chose to listen to it rather than read it. Chelsea Handler’s narration is incredibly entertaining to say the least.
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- s
- 01-25-12
Teenage humor, mildly interesting life story
What did you like best about Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea? What did you like least?
This is a collection of stories about Chelsey's life. If you like to hear uncomfortable tales of people doing stupid things, you will like this book. Some sex, but not erotic at all. Lots of drinking. If you live a very boring life in a conservative town, you will probably be titillated. I love her TV show, but this book is a let down.
What was most disappointing about Chelsea Handler’s story?
Only laughed out loud 2 times. Stories were uncomfortable and about people getting hurt or making mistakes. Characters were mostly unhappy people with a lot of problems. I expected a lot more from Chelsey, since I really enjoy her TV show.
Any additional comments?
Smartphone app for Audible would often lose your place. not easy to get back to previous point in reading.
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Overall
- Jenny
- 12-21-08
hilarilous!
If you like Chelsea and her show Chelsea Lately, you'll love her book, and it's especially funny because she is the narrator. I find not only her jokes to be funny, but her delivery is what nails it. It's definitely not for someone who doesn't have an open mind and a liberal sense of humor.
A word of advice for those people, lighten up, stop taking life so seriously, it's only joking around and cutting up, life is too short to be prude like. Laugh, it'll make you feel better.
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