Mate

Become the Man Women Want

By: Geoffrey Miller PhD PhD, Tucker Max

Narrated by: Geoffrey Miller PhD PhD

The #1 bestselling pioneer of "fratire" and a leading evolutionary psychologist team up to create the dating book for guys.

Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20+ years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.

The short answer: become the best version of yourself possible, then show it off. It sounds simple, but it's not. If it were, Tinder would just be the stuff you use to start a fire. Becoming your best self requires honesty, self-awareness, hard work and a little help.

Through their website and podcasts, Max and Miller have already helped over one million guys take their first steps toward Ms. Right. They have collected all of their findings in Mate, an evidence-driven, seriously funny playbook that will teach you to become a more sexually attractive and romantically successful man, the right way: No "seduction techniques," No moralizing, No bullshit. Just honest, straightforward talk about the most ethical, effective way to pursue the win-win relationships you want with the women who are best for you.

Much of what they've discovered will surprise you, some of it will not, but all of it is important and often misunderstood. So listen up, and stop being stupid!

Critic reviews

"Every single page has interesting information. A great resource."—Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of the Loveline radio show and Dr. Drew On Call on HLN

"The most unexpected book of the year: World-famous evolutionary psychologist meets world-famous drunken asshole. The result: A sober, solid, necessary, and authoritative guide not just to dating, but to becoming a better man."—Neil Strauss, author of New York Times bestseller The Game and The Truth

"I wish I could teleport a copy of Mate back in time and give it to my 13-year-old self, and then instruct him to read it once a year for the next decade."—Jake Seliger, author and founder of The Story's Story

"From the very beginning, this book plays it straight. It's about becoming a better person and creating positive, fulfilling relationships. This isn't a book with a predatory, pickup artist mindset."—Aubrey Marcus, founder of Onnit Fitness and the Aubrey Marcus Podcast

"A fascinating look at mating and dating from the perspective of a guy who gained fame for doing the former.... Miller's academic influence gives it some much needed credibility."—Adam Kovac, AskMen.com

Should be required reading for all 18 year old males

This book is the best non fiction book I have ever read. I'm 50 years old and jealous of any 18 year old who reads this book before dating. Well, I'm married now, but I just learned A LOT about my wife and why things are the way they are, why things went down the way they did, and what I need to do to make it better. I will definitely listen to this book again.

["WOMEN EVOLVED to like this "X" type of man"]

Information contained is not the end all be all to understanding women and your role in dating. Get out there and learn the lessons for yourself. However, the info contained is a great TOOL I've come across, as a CROSS REFERENCE GUIDE ONLY, and what works for ME when it comes to dating. What works for someone else, might not work for you.

For every lesson in the book authors claim are true, I can find anecdotal reasons as to why they are not true. This left me frustrated and more confused than before but work through it, don't get caught up on facts, just feel whether information applies to you or other's around you so you can cross reference lessons and apply them in your daily dating efforts. At the end of the day it's not about facts being true or not, it's about whether you are producing the result you want with women.
I.E. Author's preach a lot about having good hygiene and appearance but I have witnessed a lot of men with questionable hygiene and shaggy appearances attaining varied results with good looking women.

Best tool in the book is in PDF that gauges whether your mating goals are short term, medium term, or long term. This can provide clarity and help formulate your next move in your dating journey.

BIG FLAW; Assumes the reader is familiar with the BIG 5 Personality Traits in Psychology.

BE ADVISED, If you are not familiar with: 1) Neuroticism, 2) Conscientiousness, 3)Agreeableness, 4)Extroversion, and 5) Openness to Experience, deriving from Personality Psychology, a lot of the information will sound like jargon.This can provide limited clarity and guidance in your dating efforts. If you are the type of man who needs to have a deep understanding of things I recommend using Jordan Peterson's "Understand Myself" personality test or any Big 5 Personality test found online (make sure it's credible), to learn more about yourself and get more substance from this book.

Also, Evolutionary Psychology is a theory, one that sounds good, but is still up for interpretation. As mentioned, the information contained in this book is just a good GUIDE.

I also take issue with the fact that the authors give way too much credit to women as if they are all in tune with their evolutionary dating receptors. They are idealizing women in a sense, don't. They are human just like us and trying to make sense of today's dating dynamics. Be patient with them, and with yourself, it's a numbers game of trial and error.


DATING: "REJECTION IS PART OF THE GAME, ONCE YOU CAN GET PAST THE REJECTION PART, AND ARE INDIFFERENT TO WOMEN LEAVING, YOU'VE GOT THEM." -Patrice O'neal


-Cheers, and good luck to any man worthy of great mating success!

Not a guide to dating

This book is not a guide to dating, it’s a guide to living. Possibly the greatest, and most useful book ever written.

very informative

Excellent. Well read peppered with good humor . Great information on many levels. I couldn't stop listening listened to entire book in two days. Well worth the filling of one's ears and noggin

Excellent advice and witty delivery

This book is mainly geared toward college age men but I was still able to gain a good deal of insight from it. I only wish Audible would send me the accompanying PDF files in an email.