Dating Sucks, but You Don't

The Modern Guy's Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner

By: Connell Barrett

Narrated by: Connell Barrett

From renowned international dating coach comes an essential, must-have dating guide for men looking to gain confidence and find lasting love in the #MeToo era.

Rejection. Ghosting. Not knowing how to talk to women. For many men, dating just sucks. But it doesn’t have to. There’s a simple, yet powerful, way to gain instant confidence and attract a great girlfriend: Be authentic.

Whether you want to confidently approach women, get quality matches on dating apps, or learn how to avoid the “friend zone”, Dating Sucks, but You Don’t is your step-by-step blueprint for landing your soul mate.

Using the power of “radical authenticity”, you’ll unlock your most awesome self and learn how to:

• Be magnetic as you...even if you’re not rich, tall, or great-looking
• Always know what to say to ignite chemistry
• Get dates and connect with great women without using creepy “pickup artist” tricks
• Conquer fear and anxiety and confidently approach women (in a way they love)
• Get great matches and dates on Tinder, Bumble, Match, Hinge, or any other dating app
• Be a true gentleman of the #MeToo era who respects women and understands the boundaries surrounding consent
• Create a healthy, supportive relationship with someone who loves you for you

You definitely don’t suck. And when you have total self-confidence and great results, neither does dating.

©2021 Connell Barrett. All rights reserved. (P)2021 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

Authentic, vulnerable, and funny

This book was a great mix between concrete ways to improve, mixed with an emotional vulnerable and motivating story about Connell’s journey as a man. Both of those sides are important — skill and mindset. Definitely would recommend.

Great book

I thought that this was a great listen. it gives you ideas and tips to be better and not just make your love life better, but also to make friendships with others. if the author reads this I am Kick Ass Eric

A Wheelchair user's journey to confidence

As a wheelchair user with Cerebral Palsy, I've always had trouble with dating. I received this book last summer for a birthday present. Upon seeing the title, I chuckled a little bit, but being so steeped in self-rejection, I honestly doubted that the assertion of the book was at all true for me. 

The book sat on my shelf for weeks, until I resolved to open it, telling myself, "If I'm not compelled to keep reading by the end of the first chapter, I'll close this book and never read it again. Remarkably, I was immediately hooked from the FIRST PAGE!!! 

Opening his book, Connell writes that what women truly want is for a man to show up as his real authentic self. This absolutely floored me, because unlike many pick up artists and dating "experts," who promise that they can help you become irresistible to women, Barrett reminded me that I am enough and that I already have everything I need to be irresistible to my perfect partner.

Rather than a tell-all to teach you the secrets about getting girls, this book is a journey of self-discovery, inviting readers to become self-aware and confident to present themselves as worthy not just to girls, but to the world!


Particularly helpful to me was the "3-second rule," which challenged me to overcome my fear of approaching women by counting down from three and talking to her immediately. I decided to try this at my friend's wedding a couple weeks after finishing the book, and that got me a dance with one of the HOTTEST GIRLS THERE!!! and only another three seconds to ask for her number! It didn't ultimately work out, but who cares, I did it! And no biggie because another connection is ONLY ANOTHER THREE SECONDS AWAY!


Right now, I'm talking to a girl I met online a few months ago and things are going UNBELIEVABLY WELL!


The techniques in this book work! But it doesn't mean it's easy, I've learned I have to intentionally put them into practice every day. 


MY BIGGEST TAKE AWAY… BET ON YOURSELF, ACCEPT YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF AND SOON, YOU WILL FIND THE LOVE YOU'VE ALWAYS LONGED FOR!💯

Simple steps explained extremely well

I love how well the author explains the concepts and helps break down internal fears with simple, actionable steps. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the steps are easy, just that they are well explained & simple.
I hate dating coaches who give “try this one pickup line and …”
This book treats you like you’re actually a grown man who knows how to string multiple sentences together! I would recommend this for anyone who has awesome conversations with friends, but who may have some fears that keeps you from showing off just how cool you are!

Every Guy Should Read This

Where was this when I was in my 20's!!
I have read books supposed to help shy guys like me be better at approaching and dating. This is the best. It is common sense practical and do-able.
It doesn't rely on gimmicks or changing your fundamental personality. I helps you bring out the best of who you naturally are. I listened to this book on Audible over and over. It really helped me deal with that lifelong challenge ...how do I approach women?
And it also goes into being out on dates , texting, internet dating and more.
If I had a 20 year old son I would make him read or listen to this book. I believe this material to be life changing.

Best book ever!

"Dating Sucks, but You Don't" is an exceptional book that deserves every one of its five stars. It is not your typical dating guide; it goes beyond mere dating tips and tricks, delving into the fascinating world of dating psychology while empowering readers to embrace their authentic selves.

One of the book's most impressive aspects is how it manages to tackle the challenges of dating while constantly reminding readers that their self-worth is not tied to their relationship status. The author beautifully emphasizes the importance of self-love and self-acceptance, encouraging readers to embrace their uniqueness and build a strong foundation of confidence.

The psychology of dating is explored in-depth, and the insights provided are nothing short of eye-opening. Through well-researched studies and relatable anecdotes, the book sheds light on the complexities of human behavior in relationships. Understanding the psychological aspects of dating helps readers navigate the uncertainties with newfound clarity and perspective.

One of the book's strongest points is its relatability. It doesn't present a one-size-fits-all solution but rather encourages readers to discover what works best for them individually. By emphasizing self-awareness, readers are guided to recognize their own needs and desires, making the dating journey more fulfilling and authentic.

The writing style is engaging and conversational, making it easy to immerse oneself in the content. The author's wit and humor provide moments of levity, making the experience of reading the book enjoyable and lighthearted despite the serious topics discussed.

What sets "Dating Sucks, but You Don't" apart from other dating books is the emphasis on personal growth and self-improvement. Throughout the chapters, the book offers practical exercises and thought-provoking questions that prompt readers to engage in self-reflection and take actionable steps towards becoming the best version of themselves.

As a result of reading this book, I have gained a newfound sense of confidence and a deeper understanding of my own desires and boundaries. I feel better equipped to navigate the dating world with authenticity and self-assurance. Furthermore, the book has been instrumental in helping me recognize that dating challenges are not a reflection of my worth, but rather an opportunity for growth and learning.

In conclusion, "Dating Sucks, but You Don't" is a must-read for anyone navigating the complexities of dating in the modern world. Its insightful exploration of dating psychology, combined with a focus on self-discovery and self-love, make it a valuable and empowering resource. I wholeheartedly give this book five stars and recommend it to anyone seeking a healthier and more fulfilling dating experience.

Get it now

Being single in a post-Covid (hopefully) world can really suck. But this book offers a path to make it fun, exciting and fulfilling. It’s focused on resolving inner conflicts that stop us from taking action, that cause insecurity, hesitation and doubt. It’s *not* going to substitute therapy, but it *will* give you the empathizing, pep talk, and technique you need to get back in the game.

Much deeper than a “pick up” book, it focuses on your mindset and how to flip it. Redefine what makes you happy when it comes to dating. How many times have you felt shitty after getting rejected? I know I have, so many times. But that’s because I was focusing on the *result* and not the *process*.

From reading books about Buddhism and going to yoga for years, I know that finding inner peace is heavily about your perspective. It’s the same with dating. I think if you we find joy in the act of taking action and learning from it, dating can be a lot more fun.

Anywho, good luck to you, sir or madame. Whether you download this book or not, there’s hope for all of us. As long as you’re a good person and you’re action-oriented, I believe you’ll find what you’re looking for.

A Dating Book that Really Works!

I have been divorced for 20 years and I felt I was putting in a great amount of effort into finding my soulmate. I have read just about every dating, self confidence, how to approach woman audio and book I could find. Many of them have some real good pointers but most of the material I found difficult to put into practice in the real world. One of my big problems was being in the friend zone with many women. This book has given me some great pointers on how to never get in the friend zone again. One of the reasons I did not approach women is that I was afraid of rejection, a huge problem for me. This book has given me more confidence to "go for it" instead of missing out of an opportunity. I'll give you one example. I was in a clothing store and the clerk was really cute and friendly. I said to her "I think you're really cool, would you like to grab a glass of wine sometime." She said she had just gotten separated. Once she rang up the sale she said a glass of wine does sound good! Come see me in a couple of weeks! Since this just happened I still have to go back but I'm confident we will go out. Bottom line: I would never have done that without reading this book. Get the book, it just may change your life for the better!

worth listening to again

The advice was really great and got me thinking in ways I never considered. As the book says " you are enough."

Yes! This is it!

This helped in my dating life massively! I saw immediate improvement with finding prospects, making online dating work, and talking to women. More importantly it increased my self confidence and self worth in all aspects of life. Not only has my dating life improved but my relationships with my friends has as well. This is the book for the guy who wants a real emotional connection and will see a woman as and equal/ partner. Connell if you see this thank you.