Playing Hurt

My Journey from Despair to Hope

By: John Saunders, John U. Bacon, Mitch Albom - introduction

Narrated by: Dion Graham

For the first time ever, the popular late host of ESPN's The Sports Reporters and ABC's college football openly discusses a lifelong battle with depression.

During his three decades on ESPN and ABC, John Saunders became one of the nation's most respected and beloved sportscasters. In this moving, jarring, and ultimately inspiring memoir, Saunders discusses his troubled childhood, the traumatic brain injury he suffered in 2011, and the severe depression that nearly cost him his life. As Saunders writes,

Playing Hurt is not an autobiography of a sports celebrity but a memoir of a man facing his own mental illness, and emerging better off for the effort. I will take you into the heart of my struggle with depression, including insights into some of its causes, its consequences, and its treatments.

I invite you behind the facade of my apparently "perfect" life as a sportscaster, with a wonderful wife and two healthy, happy adult daughters. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am truly grateful. But none of these things can protect me or anyone else from the disease of depression and its potentially lethal effects.

Mine is a rare story: that of a black man in the sports industry openly grappling with depression. I will share the good, the bad, and the ugly, including the lengths I've gone to to conceal my private life from the public.

So why write a book? Because I want to end the pain and heartache that comes from leading a double life. I also want to reach out to the millions of people, especially men, who think they're alone and can't ask for help.

John Saunders died suddenly on August 10, 2016, from an enlarged heart, diabetes, and other complications. This book is his ultimate act of generosity to help those who suffer from mental illness, and those who love them.

Critic reviews

"A story that merits both sympathy and attention."—Kirkus Reviews

"An inspiring call to action about mental illness."
—Sports Illustrated

"For sports fans and anyone who has struggled with depression."
—Library Journal

"The book...isn't a puffy portrait of the long-time fixture on ABC's college football coverage and 'The Sports Reporters'-though it's true Saunders was one of the most-liked sportscasters on ESPN through his career. This book explores Saunders' off-camera struggles, which included the events surrounding his life-long battle with depression...Readers will learn so many things about Saunders they would have never expected to hear-and they will also gain a better understanding of the day-to-day lives of people with depression. Saunders proves it's not what you think."
—Sporting News

"In this book, Saunders gives an astoundingly honest account of his lifelong struggle with depression...Playing Hurt makes it clear that depression doesn't care who you are. It doesn't care about your race, gender, age, family background, professional success, or anything else like that. This book also does an amazing job of saying to readers who suffer from this illness, "You are not alone," which is a message that can never be stated often enough...The honesty of this book, especially for such a public figure (who assumed he'd be alive when it was eventually published), is breathtaking...Playing Hurt is a gripping story, it is an emotional story, and above all else, it is an important story. It is not hyperbole to say that this book will save lives. It is a must-read."
—Clearing Out the Clutter

"[A] moving chronicle of [Saunders'] struggle...Readers will ache for him as he struggles to overcome brain trauma while still battling depression. This is a tough read; there's a lot of pain on the pages. But, as Saunders promised in his preface, there's a kind of hope as well."—Booklist

"This is an important book. Parts will leave you shaken, others will inform you, still others will uplift you. Playing Hurt is the final act of grace in John's remarkable life, so we may learn of the toll of depression, the need for diagnosis and treatment, and the hope that awaits."—Bob Ley, host of ESPN's Outside the Lines, winner of 11 Emmy Awards

"For 30 years, my friend John Saunders earned my admiration for his understated demeanor, his top-of-the-line professionalism, his Old World ways, and his gentle yet warm smile and laughter. I'm sure those who never met him except through TV felt the exact same way. After reading Playing Hurt, my respect for him has increased exponentially. So will yours. Thank you, John."—Chris Berman, legendary ESPN broadcaster

From the heart

This book was well worth the time and I recommend it. It will provide deep insight into the type of turmoil that people with depression have to deal with and how difficult it is to remain productive. Saunders really opens up his life for the reader to view and I was glad to see that he was able to remain grateful for all of the good things that happened to him.

And awesome story about a true fighter

If you could sum up Playing Hurt in three words, what would they be?

Fighter, Loving, Father

Who was your favorite character and why?

John Saunders for being so brave in telling his story!

Have you listened to any of Dion Graham’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No. Great Listen. Easily my favorite Audible voice

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes

a difficult subject very well told. Thanks you

This was a book I almost stopped listening to a couple of time due to the story. Having watched John Saunders since he came to ESPN, I appreciated his skill and professionalism, but hearing the stories made me feel terrible. I have also been a long time fan of John U Bacon and his works. If you know or are suffering from depression I highly recommend this book. Amazing work

You never know what someone’s going through

I usually don’t like listening to audio books that are not read by the author. But this guy did a great job performing John’s incredible story. It’s amazing how you can be oblivious to someone’s inner pain. I use to love watching John on tv and I’m grateful for him sharing his story. Great Read/Listen

what I needed

loved this book! explained a lot of what I was thinking but couldn't put into words. I really appreciated the honest language and emotions in this book as well