No More Mr. Nice Guy

A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated)

By: Dr Robert Glover

Narrated by: Dr Robert Glover

A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.

The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.

The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:

• If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
• If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
• If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.

The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use.

Since the publication of No More Mr. Nice Guy in 2003, hundreds of thousands of men worldwide have learned how to release toxic shame, soothe their anxiety, face their fears, connect with men, embrace their passion and purpose, and experience success in work and career. These men have also learned to set boundaries, handle conflict, make their needs a priority, develop satisfying relationships, and experience great sex.

This process of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome allows men to move through:

• Depression
• Social anxiety and shyness
• Codependency
• Low self-esteem
• Loneliness and hopelessness
• Feelings of failure
• Lack of confidence and purpose
• Compulsive behaviors and addictions
• Feeling stuck in life

Contrary to what the title might seem to imply, No More Mr. Nice Guy does not teach men how to be not nice. Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique—his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.

If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how.

(P)2017 Recorded Books

Critic reviews

“One of the best books I’ve ever read on men’s emotional health and development.”

Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Models.

Almost returned it halfway through.. glad I didn't

"Self-help for Cucks" was my initial impression of this title early on, and in a way, it is. The first half basically introduces the beta personalities that will be used as references and examples later on. The author is obviously a talented psychologist, and his motivations for writing this book admittedly stem from helping himself, and eventually groups of others deal with loveless, sexless, toxic relationships and personalities. Personally, I was having a difficult time and a little bit of buyer's remorse when trying to relate to the cases featured, as many others may experience. His insights and way of dissecting human behavior resonated with me just enough though, so I kept going.

The second half was where I found gold. I would like to point out that although the title and narrative is aimed at men, the insights into subconscious human "hangups" and motivations scattered throughout the book transcend gender, class, race, and any other "ism" that you may come into this pre-loaded with. Personal growth as a human being requires understanding the side of yourself that you probably aren't aware of, and he does an excelent job of pointing you in the right direction. Do not let your ego distract you from really listening, I promise that it's worth it.

Many of the psychological tactics employed here are lost on myself, and probably a lot of other people that are familiar with them... letting go of mental baggage, affirmations, etc. However, there is merit to these exercises, and they will do a world of good for the core audience that the book is aimed at. For others that are further along on your path, there are more than enough gems here to justify the digging. All in all, a very valuable book in terms of personal growth and understanding, and I highly recommend it.

Best Self-Help Book!

An amazing tool if you want to change your life for the better. Will re-read

powerful

changed my life!!! highly recommend it. must read for all men. you need this in your life

Great Book!

Great info I think a lot of "nice guys" need to hear. There are a lot of easily explained concepts in here that I struggled years to learn on my own, as well as brand new concepts I had not heard before. Highly recommended for anyone who is tired of being "nice guy".

Nailed it!

This book identifies and illuminates unhealthy patterns in a whole culture of men. Thank you Dr. Glover for sharing your work and insights. This has been helpful for me to put a name on what is a cluster of issues I have struggled with and has gotten in the way of my relationships for years.