The reality of having a teenager in the household has hit us hard, and to be honest with you, I feel like I am practicing restraint by not automatically being an ass back. I thought my daughter was gonna cause me more problems because she’s a girl, but I have to say, my teenage boy is much more irritating that I anticipated. You see the surges of testosterone in his behavior, and I realize it’s hard to maneuver something new, but man, I often remind him to check himself. Cute during certain moments, a raging maniac others, and then always horney. O, M, God.

Here today to help us is the amazing Colleen Murphy! She is a Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator as well as Parent Coach, and now teaching parenting classes and workshops at the Live Oak Family Resource center, You can find her at fromtheheadtotheheart.com.

We are doing it! Today on the podcast, we are discussing difficult moms. One of the ways in which I've been able to find purpose in, and add some reason to, my difficult relationship with my mom has been by talking with others with less than idyllic mom relationships. The mother-child relationship is a difficult one to begin with, don’t you think? And sometimes, it can be even more messed up!?! And I like speaking with my friend, Dr. Esther An, because well, we are both mostly past the angry phase and we see the relationship for what it is, as women, as daughters, and as moms. Let’s breathe together.

Dr. Esther An was born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, and she still considers herself a Midwest person at heart. She moved out to California in 2006 and has been enjoying the sun and fun ever since. She is a Pediatric Critical care doctor here in Northern California and she is married with one child and two quirky cats.

Hello friends! For this episode I'm going to share the first two chapters of my upcoming book Untangling: Liberating Myself from an Enmeshed Family and Impossible Medical Career.

It's really been a long ass journey, but I'm still standing! And I'm super excited that this book is close! And if you're enjoying the podcast, don't forget to rate the podcast, however you get your podcasts!

I had been working as a doctor for almost 15 years when I had a full blown midlife crisis. I was supposed to have reached the promise land of success, and yet I found myself so unhappy, angry, and becoming someone that I was not. And then I threw it all away to become a podcaster. It was during this time that I thought about the reoccurring pattern in my life. I was enmeshed. At my corporate medicine job, I smiled, never complained about the increasingly impossible workload, didn’t cause any problems, and was becoming the kind of doctor I never wanted to be.

But my enmeshment didn’t start at work, I also had been enmeshed with my family of origin. Enmeshment happens when parents are unable to see their children as separate entities, when being “too close” can lead to a form of trauma. So much of my energy as a child was spent on making my dysfunctional parents feel better, being the only friend to my mentally struggling mother. I became a doctor for their approval! And for too long, I did not have a strong sense of who I was.

And well, like Humpty Dumpty on the wall, I fell hard but I decided to look at all the pieces.