“The reason why it’s important to know what the myths are about narcissistic abuse and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is so that we can formulate healthy, effective, boundaried responses,” explains Dr. Z as she offers essential insights and debunks five myths about NPD and narcissistic abuse.

Dr. Z breaks down the misconception that narcissists routinely gravitate towards those with low self-esteem, poor self-image, and low self-confidence. She explains how narcissists actually prefer surrounding themselves with confident and successful people because stripping them of their autonomy and sense of self provides them with higher doses of power and control. She also clarifies that narcissists can in fact control their anger and rage and use it to strategically manipulate others. Dr. Z goes on to discuss how those with NDP are resistant to change, often resulting in an unwillingness to seek therapy or maintain any meaningful behavioral changes.

By debunking these five common myths, Dr. Z aims to provide listeners with a clearer understanding of NPD to empower them and help them gain the skills to recognize and protect themselves from this abuse.

Quotes

• “The reason why it’s important to know what the myths are about narcissistic abuse and narcissistic personality disorder is so that we can formulate healthy, effective, boundaried responses. Because if we don’t understand what’s accurate or not with narcissistic personality disorder, it doesn’t give us the opportunity to come up with some really effective strategies and ways to respond in these types of situations.” (01:27 | Dr. Z)
• “Can narcissists not control their anger? Narcissists are extremely skilled at controlling their anger and controlling their outbursts… A narcissist uses their anger as a manipulative strategy. They are very much aware of when they're angry, how they get angry, and to whom they're going to be angry at.” (14:51 | Dr. Z)
• “It’s so important to understand these myths because you can see if you don’t understand them, your responses to narcissistic behavior are really going to continue to just keep you stuck. And it’s so important to be able to separate yourself from the myths and separate yourself from the unhealthy patterns so that you can see objectively what you need to do to remove yourself from the situation.” (41:11 | Dr. Z)

Links

Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:

https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Expect that you're going to get pushback from them, because you will,” says Terri Cole, about what can happen when establishing boundaries with others. Terri is a licensed psychotherapist and author of “Boundary Boss.” Together with host Dr. Z, they delve into the critical aspects of setting boundaries and managing interactions with a narcissistic parent.

Terri defines boundaries as personal rules of engagement that communicate to others what behaviors you are willing, and not willing, to tolerate. Alongside Dr. Z, they explore the common challenges of setting boundaries, including the difficulty of maintaining them in the face of pushback. Terri also introduces a unique framework for categorizing what she refers to as "boundary offenders." They are: Boundary First-Timer, Repeat Offender, and Boundary Destroyer.

Terri and Dr. Z also discuss the challenges of setting boundaries with narcissistic parents and the unique approaches required to effectively manage these extremely complex relationships. Red flags and common behavior patterns of narcissistic parenting are explored, including the use of emotional blackmail and competitiveness with their children.

Tune in to this episode of “Next Up: Narcissism” to gain valuable insights into how to identify narcissistic parenting dynamics, strategies to establish and maintain effective boundaries, and how to protect your own mental health while fostering authentic and healthy relationships.

Quotes

• “Your boundaries are comprised of your preferences, your desires, your limits, and your deal-breakers—your non-negotiables. So really think about what that is, preferences, desires, limits, and deal-breakers. It's not enough to know them, which a lot of people don't even know. You have to know them and then have the ability to clearly and concisely communicate them when you so choose.” (02:54 | Terri Cole)
• “This is what makes having healthy boundaries so complicated for people because even if you do spend enough time on yourself to know what your preferences are, knowing how to set a limit with someone else can be very challenging, because we're all raised and praised to be self-abandoning codependents.” (03:22 | Terri Cole)
• “The reason why boundaries are broken up into the categories that they are, according to me, is because they don't all carry the same weight.” (09:00 | Terri Cole)

Links

Connect with Terri Cole:

terricole.com/workshop

terricole.com/fatherwound

https://boundarybossbook.com/

https://www.instagram.com/terricole/

Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:

https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Are you dating a narcissist, or is your partner just a jerk? Find out in this episode of “Next Up: Narcissism,” where Dr. Z, a licensed clinical psychologist and narcissistic abuse expert, outlines the key, underlying differences between behaviors that may be toxic in nature, versus those that are consistent with narcissistic abuse. Listeners will gain a better understanding of these differences along with practical strategies for how to navigate these behaviors.

Dr. Z stresses the importance of understanding the underlying "why" of people's behaviors. While many unhealthy behaviors may look similar on the surface, she explains that the specific purpose of narcissistic abusive behavior is to obtain power and control over the other person.

To help listeners identify narcissistic abusive behaviors, Dr. Z introduces the "boundary test." She suggests canceling plans, especially with a new dating partner, then observe their reaction. Healthy reactions would include appropriate disappointment or expressing understanding. However, when dating someone with NPD, you may see extreme anger, even more boundary violations such as showing up at your house unannounced, or other manipulative tactics such as ghosting.

Dr. Z points out that the majority of people, when confronted with their mistakes (yes, even a "jerk"), will take accountability or at the very least be empathetic about any harm they may have caused others. A narcissist, however, will not only refuse to take accountability, but they will lack empathy for those they have hurt.

If you're looking to better understand toxic relationship dynamics, or seeking tools to navigate them more effectively, tune in to this episode. Dr. Z offers essential insights and practical strategies that will empower you to make informed decisions about your relationships.

Quotes

• “When I say function of behavior, what I mean is the underlying ‘why.’ Why did that person do X behavior? Why, at this very moment, did the person do what they did? Because we know with narcissistic personality disorder—the behaviors that they engage in—the underlying reason behind them is for power and control.” (01:47 | Dr. Z)
• “You don’t need to have a reason. And that reason does not need to be narcissistic abuse to leave the relationship.” (04:19 | Dr. Z)
• “The function of a narcissist’s behavior is always going to have to do with power, control, manipulation, right? We talk about all those three things—getting supply, getting attention, having the focus be back on them, having them be relevant, or having them feel big and powerful. That’s the function of their behavior.” (16:40 | Dr. Z)

Links

Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:

https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm