The Harder I Fight the More I Love You

A Memoir

By: Neko Case

Narrated by: Neko Case

From a beloved Grammy-nominated musician, a "heartbreaking and funny" memoir of a poverty-stricken childhood, obsessive desires, and indispensable friendships that reflects on the way art and music and a deep connection to nature guided her journey towards stardom (Maggie Smith, NYT bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful).

Neko Case has long been revered as one of music’s most influential artists, whose authenticity, lyrical storytelling, and sly wit have endeared her to a legion of critics, musicians, and lifelong fans. In THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU, Case brings her trademark candor and precision to a memoir that traces her evolution from an invisible girl “raised by two dogs and a space heater” in rural Washington state to her improbable emergence as an internationally-acclaimed talent.

In luminous, sharp-edged prose, Case shows readers what it’s like to be left alone for hours and hours as a child, to take refuge in the woods around her home, and to channel the monotony and loneliness and joy that comes from music, camaraderie, and shared experience into art.

THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a rebellious meditation on identity and corruption, and a manifesto on how to make space for ourselves in this world, despite the obstacles we face.

Critic reviews

“Reader, I really want to hand this book to you personally and tell you, in one excited rush, how much it moved me. THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a hell of an origin story: heartbreaking and funny, brave and weird, hard to swallow and impossible to put down. Neko Case has been my favorite singer-songwriter for many years, hands down, and now she’s written one of my favorite memoirs.” —Maggie Smith, New York Times bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful

"This is a fierce, funny, moving memoir that will break your heart and patch it back up. Case's writing is as piercing and beautiful as her gorgeous singing, and will carry you away completely."
—New York Times bestselling author Susan Orlean

"A vivid, exuberant, heartrending coming-of-age story that demonstrates the saving power of art. This book captured me the way Case's songs do: with their ache and beauty and promise that the only way through this life is to feel it all."
—Melissa Febos, author of Girlhood, winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism

"I burned through this book in three feverish days, overcome by the spellcasting, storytelling, and pure song of Neko Case’s words. Here is one of the most remarkable people you will ever meet, on the page or otherwise: So honest, kind, funny, and tender—so human—you will fall in love if you haven’t already. A book not so much about the creation of an icon as it is about the lionhearted love Neko Case has for the whole damn world."
—Rachel Yoder, author of Nightbitch

"This book, like everything Neko Case touches, is a work of art — full of moments that kaleidoscope your view of the world into something new. Heartbreaking and honest and raw, THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a testament to the fact that this artist, like her music, was born from the fire."—Rebecca Makkai, author of I Have Some Questions for You

"The gift of Neko Case as a memoirist mirrors the gift of Neko Case as a songwriter: there is a warmth of clarity, of language selection, of narrative flourish. This book reads, and feels, as if you are on a porch with an old friend, telling you stories you've heard a hundred times, but cannot wait to hear once more."
—Hanif Abdurraqib, author of #1 National Bestseller There's Always This Year

Thank you Neko

Neko Case merges raw honesty, poetic prose, and deep introspection to deliver a powerful narrative on childhood, loneliness, and found family.

Loved it! Powerful!

Listen all the way to the end!
Her honest voice throws down a clear message of endurance & hope, a force to embrace!

Great Memoir

I great memoir! I just wished she had discussed the origins of more of her songs.

Feels like listening to a friend

Felt like I was listening to an old friend. I had never heard of her before.

Tremendous!

This book is absolutely tremendous, I loved it and the imagery in Neko Case’s songwriting transforms stunningly to the book. As a visual thinker myself, I was deeply moved. I appreciate Neko Case’s commitment to standing up for women, that made me feel safe and filled me with admiration and relief. I grew up in the same area as her, so many things resonated and Neko Case is beloved here.

Thank you for saying all of it.