The Motherload

By: Sarah Hoover

Narrated by: Sarah Hoover

NATIONAL BESTSELLER
“A long overdue reality check.” —Oprah Daily
“Honest, unapologetic, and brutally funny.” —Stephanie Danler, New York Times bestselling author of Sweetbitter
A Most Anticipated Book of 2025 by Oprah Daily, Town & Country, and Brit + Co
Belletrist Book Club Pick
The Times (London) Book of the Week

An unflinching motherhood memoir that dares to ask what happens when “what to expect when you’re expecting” turns out to be months of rage, anguish, brain fog, and a total surrender of sex, career, and identity.

“The kid was objectively a tiny worm, even worse, a worm with my nose.” Welcome to Sarah Hoover’s candid and propulsive take on motherhood where she turns the ecstatic narrative women have been fed—one of immediate connection to your child followed by a joyful path of maternal discovery—on its head.

Like most of us, Sarah Hoover grew up imagining a certain life for herself, and when she moved from Indiana to New York City to study art history, the life she’d imagined began falling into place. She got her degree in art history, landed a job in a gallery, made friends, and met interesting artists, one of whom became her husband. But when Hoover got pregnant, everything in her life began to unravel.

She felt like an imposter in her own body. She grew distant from her friends and husband. Anxiety, fear, guilt, and shame threatened to swallow her. She also experienced trauma at the hands of one of her doctors—a stark trigger. And when her son was born, there was no… joy.

Her despair was persistent, even with help, therapy, and pills. Grieving a lost identity and angry at the world around her, she found herself despising her baby, her husband, and herself. She was afraid it might not end. With the help of a doctor’s diagnosis, Hoover began to understand the cluster of symptoms that informed her experience—she was drowning in postpartum depression—and that she wasn’t a bad mother or a failed woman.

At its core, The Motherload is about learning to forgive yourself. It’s a rejection of the cultural idea of the mother as a perfect being. And it’s an honest, propulsive, and often funny take on the vicissitudes of marriage, life, and parenting—a motherhood memoir unlike any other.

Meaningful, difficult, funny

While the protracted description of her depressed brain’s defective thinking could be tedious at times, I think this is an important description of what postpartum depression can be like. I think it could be useful to women to understand the possible variance of symptoms in the condition and hear a story about how to overcome it. This book captures much of the emotional depth and complexity of motherhood, how joyful, profound, and harrowing it can be all at once. I also appreciated the discussion on how personal identity fluctuates during the process of becoming a mom. I found that relatable and true. Essentially, no holds barred here. I meaningful work that validates any feelings or experience about becoming a mom.

Beautifully vulnerable.

Sarah is clearly a gifted writer. Hilarious, and unapologetically honest. A beautifully vulnerable and introspective prose about one woman's resurrection to freedom. I read about 50-60 books per year and this one is the stand out for 2025!

Full circle journey

Real, vulnerable, and engaging. While the first half of the book may be almost scary for expecting moms, I felt proud of and inspired by the author’s personal growth by the end. -mom to a toddler

Resonated so extremely much with this book.

Feeling seen and in community with, an era of my life where I felt so unseen by the people closest to me, was so healing. To know that it’s common. PPD PPA, tumultuous times in marriage through motherhood and womanhood. The shifts that happen to you as a person when you create another human from your cells.
Just thank you for writing and sharing such an important story and perspective on something that is not addressed loud enough, ever.

The rawness and realness

What a book, I finished it in just a few days. A must read for any mother and any woman.