This Is Body Grief

Making Peace with the Loss That Comes with Living in a Body

By: Jayne Mattingly

Narrated by: Jayne Mattingly

"We all need an opportunity to sit gently and thoughtfully with our grief. Consider this book your invitation."—Rachel Cargle, author of A Renaissance of Her Own

A guide to living and making peace with your ever-changing body

Have you ever felt like your body has failed you? Maybe you’re not as quick or as strong as you used to be, or an illness has wrecked your sense of self, or no matter what diet you follow, you still feel uncomfortable in your own skin. So you go to war with your body for what it can no longer do—when the truth is, our bodies are always on our side.

In This Is Body Grief, disability advocate and recovery expert Jayne Mattingly lays out a groundbreaking approach to mourning and accepting one’s ever-changing body. Like all grief, she says, Body Grief cannot be overcome but felt in all its complexity. Dismantling the narrative that your body is “against you,” she presents new ways to cope with your body's fluctuating abilities with self-compassion and grace. Along the way, she walks you through the seven stages of Body Grief—from dismissal, shock, and self-blame to hopelessness and hope, and eventual body trust—offering wisdom for how to make space for each difficult emotion as it arises.

Sharing stories from everyday people in the throes of Body Grief as well as her own journey as a newly-disabled woman—from the first of many harrowing hospital visits that resulted in her own life-altering diagnosis, to having to use a rollator on her wedding day because she could no longer walk safely on her own, to accepting the need for a hysterectomy in her early 30s—Mattingly shows that although healing isn’t a linear journey, it begins when we trust and work in tandem with our bodies.

Critic reviews

"We all need an opportunity to sit gently and thoughtfully with our grief. Consider this book your invitation." —Rachel Cargle, author of A Renaissance of Her Own

"In a world that teaches us to ignore, control, or conquer our bodies, Jayne Mattingly intervenes with a much-needed revision to the default framework. Through her own hard-earned wisdom and professional expertise, she offers us language and tools to mend the fractured relationships we’ve developed with our own bodies. She guides us—gently, powerfully, and tangibly—through the process of building a sturdy home within the only bodies we’ll ever have—a desperately needed map for every single one of us." —Rebekah Taussig, PhD, author of Sitting Pretty

"I laughed, I cried, and I related all while reading This Is Body Grief. Jayne beautifully articulates the universal feeling of Body Grief and explores it on both macro and micro levels. It is the perfect blend of informative and vulnerable." —Jacqueline Child, co-founder of Dateability

"As a Black disabled woman, Body Grief is my daily story. Mattingly reminds us that 'without storytelling there is no healing,' validating why it is important to listen to the stories our bodies tell us. Read this book to heal in your own way. To be angry. To share. To accept. To celebrate and to love your body unconditionally amongst the continuous grief it brings." —Dr. Akilah Cadet, MPH, author of White Supremacy Is All Around

"Beautifully written and unapologetically honest, This Is Body Grief not only dismantles the false narrative that our bodies are against us, but offers a compassionate path through the messy landscape of grief turned inwards. This book is for anyone who’s ever felt uncomfortable in their own skin and wants to reclaim their sense of self." —Ciera Rogers, founder of Babes and author of The Outsider Advantage

Healing in more ways than one

As someone who has lived in a marginalized body, and who became even more marginalized after becoming disabled, I often find it difficult to feel truly seen in media. Representation can feel shallow or incomplete, and finding someone who gets it sometimes feels impossible. But Jayne Mattingly’s This is Body Grief… these stories? I needed them. I have navigated so many waves of body grief throughout my life and I’m moving through yet another one right now after some frightening scan results that have reshaped my summer plans from travel and sunshine to surgery and recovery.

Reading Jayne’s words felt like sitting across from a friend who understands the heartbreak, the rage, the tenderness, and the resilience that come with living in a body that the world wasn’t built to embrace. I’m so deeply thankful for Jayne’s transparency, her vulnerability, and her willingness to share what so many of us have felt but haven’t seen reflected. This is Body Grief is not just a book — it’s a companion for anyone navigating the complicated, painful, and beautiful relationship we have with our bodies.

This book saved me

This year I’ve suffered through severe chronic illness, and I don’t know how I could have gotten through it without this book. You want to fight it at first, but trust the process. I’ve even gotten physically better while reading this due to learning to listen to my own body. I love this book and I love this author.

The stories and connections to so many versions of body grief

I enjoyed how the book is broken up into multiple stages and offered moments of reflection. I enjoy the stories that show the multiple facets of body grief.

a wonderful book for everyone!

I truly believe this book will resonate with anyone, as we will all experience body grief in our lives. a deeply healing book!:)

Heartfelt and real. A read everyone can relate to!

All of us will experience body grief at some point in our lives! This is a well written guide to understanding accepting and moving forward! A must read!