It’s really common for us to judge our stepparenting performance based on one single metric: whether our stepkids like us. But believe me when I say it’s a huge mistake to base your self-worth on your stepkid’s approval.

Honestly, most stepkids are standoffish with their stepparents, especially at first. There’s a lot of reasons for this — read this blog post for a whole list: ➡️ WHY DOES MY STEPKID HATE ME? 6 REASONS WHY STEPKIDS REJECT STEPPARENTS 👀 — and all of them are totally normal. Good news though: your stepkid doesn't have to be nuts about you for you to still be a great stepparent and become a positive influence in their life... eventually.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Until that day arrives, keep taking deep breaths as needed, and keep reminding yourself that you're an awesome person who had no idea what they were signing on for and you're doing your best. Then give yourself permission to relax, be yourself, and quit going overboard trying to win everyone else over. The sooner your stepkids gets to know the real you, the sooner you’ll all feel more comfortable in your blended family.

For more help busting misconceptions around stepparenting, please go read our Stepparenting Survival Guide. It’s the down and dirty super quick summary of all the things I wish I’d known back when I was a new stepparent.

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