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Beautiful You
- Narrated by: Carol Monda
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
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Publisher's summary
From the author of Fight Club, the classic portrait of the damaged contemporary male psyche, now comes this novel about the apocalyptic marketing possibilities of female pleasure. Beautiful You is Palahniuk's much-anticipated satire of the emerging erotic thriller genre, a mash-up of mommy porn and chick lit à la Sex and the City, and fantasy lit à la Clan of the Cave Bear. Imagine if Ira Levin had a baby with Jean Auel.
Penny Harrigan is a low-level associate in a big Manhattan law firm with an apartment in Queens and no love life at all. So it comes as a great shock when she finds herself invited to dinner by one C. Linus Maxwell, aka "Climax-Well", a software mega-billionaire and lover of the most gorgeous and accomplished women on earth. After dining at Manhattan's most exclusive restaurant, he whisks Penny off to a hotel suite in Paris, where he proceeds, notebook in hand, to bring her to previously undreamed-of heights of orgasmic pleasure for days on end. What's not to like? This: Penny discovers that she is a test subject for the final development of a line of sex toys to be marketed in a nationwide chain of boutiques called Beautiful You. So potent and effective are these devices that women by the millions line up outside the stores on opening day and then lock themselves in their room with them and stop coming out. Except for batteries. Maxwell's plan for erotically enabled world domination must be stopped. But how?
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On his terms only! Moving countries, cutting all ties, and giving birth to her baby alone, Grace Holden is desperately hiding from her past. But just when she thinks she might have broken free, it catches up with her in the form of her millionaire Sicilian husband! Grace swore her daughter wouldn't grow up among the dark power and money of his family…but no one walks away from Luca Mastrangelo.
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What a Sicilian Husband Wants
- By DAA on 05-07-20
By: Michelle Smart
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Blackmail, My Love
- A Murder Mystery
- By: Katie Gilmartin
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Josie O'Conner travels to San Francisco in 1951 to locate her gay brother, a private dick investigating a blackmail ring targeting lesbians and gay men. Jimmy's friends claim that just before he disappeared he became a rat, informing the cops on the bar community. Josie adopts Jimmy's trousers and wingtips, battling to clear his name, halt the blackmailers, and exact justice for the many queer corpses.
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Fine Writing, Beautifully Read
- By CJ on 06-14-15
By: Katie Gilmartin
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Goddess of Filth
- By: V. Castro
- Narrated by: Stacy Gonzalez
- Length: 3 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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One hot summer night, Lourdes, Fernanda, Ana, Perla, and Pauline hold a séance. Their tipsy laughter turns to terror when the flames burn straight through their prayer candles and Fernanda starts crawling toward her friends and chanting in Nahuatl, the language of their Aztec ancestors. Over the next few weeks, Fernanda starts acting strangely—smearing herself in black makeup, shredding her hands on rose thorns, sucking sin out of the mouths of the guilty. The local priest is convinced it's a demon, but Lourdes suspects it's something else—something far more ancient and powerful.
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Great
- By Elise on 09-25-23
By: V. Castro
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The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination
- Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius
- By: John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki, Mary Robinette Kowal, Justine Eyre
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games, and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy, or otherwise dominate the world as we know it. It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide.
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HAND DANCING
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-30-15
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Molotov Obsession
- The Complete Duet
- By: Anna Zaires
- Narrated by: Ava Erickson, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
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On the run from ruthless killers, I take a job at a remote mountain estate tutoring a little boy. It's the ideal shelter from the storm that has engulfed my life, but there is a catch. The boy's father is the most beautiful, most dangerous man I've ever met. Darkly seductive and filthy rich, Nikolai Molotov is as magnetic as he is enigmatic. Bruised knuckles and tailored suits, tender endearments and dirty promises—everything about my new employer draws me in, even as my instincts warn that my safe haven just might be the devil's lair. My protector may turn out to be my captor.
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Great Performance, Mediocre Writing
- By L on 04-16-23
By: Anna Zaires
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All That's Left of Me
- A Novel
- By: Janis Thomas
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
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It starts with a simple wish, and Emma Davies hardly notices when it comes true. She’s too preoccupied with a life she isn’t happy in - the spark in her marriage has fizzled, her career is headed nowhere and her boss is a misogynist. Her teenage daughter has grown distant, and her heart breaks daily for her teenage son with cerebral palsy. But soon Emma discovers her wishes are coming true, and she realizes that she has been given the power to change her life. Either that, or she’s going insane.
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MADE ME THINK ABOUT MY LIFE . . . .
- By TONYA on 06-29-19
By: Janis Thomas
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When She Woke
- By: Hillary Jordan
- Narrated by: Heather Corrigan
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Hannah Payne awakens to a nightmare. She is lying on a table in a bare room, covered only by a paper gown, with cameras broadcasting her every move to millions at home. She is now a convicted criminal, and her skin color has been genetically altered. Her crime, according to the State of Texas: the murder of her unborn child, whose father she refuses to name. Her color: red. The color of newly shed blood.
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A Thoughtful Dystopia
- By Amy on 01-28-13
By: Hillary Jordan
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Animal Instincts
- By: Gena Showalter
- Narrated by: Isabelle Gordon
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Unleashing your inner tigress isn't easy when you're a doormat by nature! Still, after escaping a wretched marriage to a cheating SOB, Dallas party planner Naomi Delacroix isn't about to let another man sweet-talk her into sheathing her protective claws. Not even hunky millionaire Royce Powell, who's hired her to arrange his mother's surprise party. Even if he does make her purr like a kitten with one heated glance....
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I love this book.
- By suhnee on 09-25-19
By: Gena Showalter
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The Sky Is Yours
- A Novel
- By: Chandler Klang Smith
- Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
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In the burned-out, futuristic city of Empire Island, three young people navigate a crumbling metropolis constantly under threat from a pair of dragons that circle the skies. When violence strikes, reality star Duncan Humphrey Ripple V, the spoiled scion of the metropolis' last dynasty; Baroness Swan Lenore Dahlberg, his tempestuous, death-obsessed betrothed; and Abby, a feral beauty he discovered tossed out with the trash; are forced to flee everything they've ever known.
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a hot mess
- By Alison on 04-09-19
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Used-to-Be Lovers
- By: Linda Lael Miller
- Narrated by: Jack Garrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Sharon Harrison and Tony Morelli were never able to control the powerful chemistry between them. It led first to heart-stopping passion, then to marriage and children. They thought they had it all, but under pressure their happy home became an explosive battleground. Even divorce, however, can't completely separate them. Spending alternate days in their home with their children, they have an unorthodox arrangement that keeps them in close contact. And keeps the desire alive...
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The immaturity of the heroin st
- By Bridgett on 06-04-24
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The daughter of a narcissistic film star and a billionaire, Madison is abandoned at her Swiss boarding school over Christmas, while her parents are off touting their new projects and adopting more orphans. She dies over the holiday of a marijuana overdose - and the next thing she knows, she’s in Hell.
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The daughter of a narcissistic film star and a billionaire, Madison is abandoned at her Swiss boarding school over Christmas, while her parents are off touting their new projects and adopting more orphans. She dies over the holiday of a marijuana overdose - and the next thing she knows, she’s in Hell.
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Palahniuk's New Hit
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Great on audiobook
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Just get the original.
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In Zombies, the absurdity of both life and death are on full display as the best and brightest of a high school prep school become tragically addicted to the latest drug craze - electric shocks from cardiac defibrillators. Funny, caustic, bizarre, poignant - this story represents everything listeners have come to love and expect from Chuck Palahniuk.
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First review ever
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She’s a fashion model who has everything: a boyfriend, a career, a loyal best friend. But when a sudden freeway "accident" leaves her disfigured and incapable of speech, she goes from being the beautiful center of attention to being an invisible monster, so hideous that no one will acknowledge she exists. Enter Brandy Alexander, Queen Supreme, one operation away from becoming a real woman, who will teach her that reinventing yourself means erasing your past and making up something better. And that salvation hides in the last places you’ll ever want to look.
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not sure what to expect,this wasn't it. but better
- By hman on 12-08-21
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Not Forever, but for Now
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Meet Otto and Cecil. Two brothers growing up privileged in the Welsh countryside. They enjoy watching nature shows, playing with their pet pony, impersonating their Grandfather...and killing the help. Murder is the family business after all. Downton Abbey, this is not. However, it’s not so easy to continue the family legacy with the constant stream of threats and distractions seemingly leaping from the hedgerow.
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Not sure what to say…
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Diary
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Diary takes the form of a "coma diary" kept by one Misty Tracy Wilmot as her husband lies senseless in a hospital after a suicide attempt. It is a dark, hilarious, and poignant act of storytelling from America's favorite, most inventive nihilist.
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The uninitiated need not apply
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Gates Foster lost his daughter, Lucy, 17 years ago. He's never stopped searching. Suddenly, a shocking new development provides Foster with his first major lead in over a decade, and he may finally be on the verge of discovering the awful truth. Meanwhile, Mitzi Ives has carved out a space among the Foley artists creating the immersive sounds giving Hollywood films their authenticity. Using the same secret techniques as her father before her, she's become an industry-leading expert in the sound of violence and horror, creating screams so bone-chilling, they may as well be real.
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good one chuck
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Burnt Tongues
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This collection of transgressive stories has been compiled through a rigorous nomination and vetting process and hand-selected by Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, as the best of The Cult workshop. These stories run the gamut from horrific and fantastic to humorous and touching, but each leaves a lasting impression. Some may say even a scar.
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what the fuck?!
- By VANESSA C. on 09-22-23
By: Chuck Palahniuk - editor, and others
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Consider This
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In this spellbinding blend of memoir and insight, best-selling author Chuck Palahniuk shares stories and generous advice on what makes writing powerful and what makes for powerful writing. With advice grounded in years of careful study and a keenly observed life, Palahniuk combines practical advice and concrete examples from beloved classics, his own books, and a "kitchen-table MFA" culled from an evolving circle of beloved authors and artists, with anecdotes, postcards from the road, and much more.
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Poetic Justice
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Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk is a novel made up of stories: 23 of them, to be precise. Twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter, sometimes all at once. They are told by people who have answered an ad headlined "Writers' Retreat: Abandon Your Life for Three Months", and who are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of "real life" that are keeping them from creating the masterpiece that is in them.
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True Horror -- Not for the faint of heart, stomach
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Shock Induction
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In Shock Induction, the best and brightest students at a seemingly reputable high school are disappearing. Every day it seems another overachiever is lost to an apparent suicide. But something far more sinister is lurking beneath the surface. These kids have been under surveillance since birth, monitored and measured by an online service called “Greener Pastures.” It’s here, in Greener Pastures, that billionaires observe and recruit the next generation of talent.
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I’m not sure I’m not hypnotized.
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By: Chuck Palahniuk
What listeners say about Beautiful You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Rainy
- 06-05-15
This was fucking great
Really great book with a unique plot. The reading was really nice and it had some beer nice suprise twists
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Overall
- Sabina
- 02-21-17
Not my favorite, but still ok.
I LOVE Chuck.. but this one was a little too far out there, even for him!
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- Heather (elevated_vibes13)
- 09-06-16
A book for the ladies
A surprise for sure, I enjoy the books very much and can never go wrong with this author he is always surprises me!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lindsey
- 06-16-15
So dirty, so hilarious
Marry me, Chuck? This makes 50 Shades of Grey seem like Green Eggs and Ham!
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- Anonymous User
- 01-20-24
Wow!
The story was a wild ride. I absolutely loved the reading, writing, and audio!
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- Skyler Dowell
- 09-23-18
Spoilers
It ends with a vagina screaming. literally. The vagina screams... and Ron Howard is assumed to become a sex god.
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- Michael
- 12-14-15
crazy amazing
I didn't even read the story line preview. I saw Chuck write it abs knew it was going to be great. He never disappoints and ALWAYS keeps me wanting more!
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- Amazon Junkie
- 02-10-16
great
stunningly weird as always. chuck at his shocking best. the narration is refreshing and spot on, the ending is unexpected to say the least.
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- Christopher
- 04-09-24
Wow
I was not prepared for the subject matter. Started listening on a whim. I found it surprisingly good.
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- Niki
- 11-13-14
I'll start by saying I love Palahniuk...
What did you like best about Beautiful You? What did you like least?
I liked the idea that I felt was being presented in a very satirical story. I loved the overall theme of excessive self indulgence leading to complacent mediocrity, and the anti-materialism that is so present in most Palahniuk novels. On the other hand, I hated the story line. I hated that there was no development of any character. I hated that the deep connection that is generally created in Palahniuk's writing was entirely absent. I didn't hate or love any character. I was ambivalent about all of them, which ultimately lead to me not caring about how things ended up.
How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?
I understand that there was a very heavy satirical tone to this book, but as someone mentioned before, if you write poorly for long enough, even in a satirical way, bad writing is still eventually just bad writing. I would have loved for the usual beautifully dark and twisted voice of Palahniuk to be present.
Do you think Beautiful You needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
Please no. One was more than enough.
If this was the first Palahniuk book I had ever read, I would have never picked up another one of his books.
Any additional comments?
I was disappointed. There were moments where I could hear the beloved Fight Club author shining through, and then the rest of the time it felt like someone was shoving a dirty sock in his mouth and this book was the muffled, tortured, and drooling result.
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6 people found this helpful