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BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered the Multiversal Monopoly
- Shopocalypse Saga, Book 5
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 19 hrs and 8 mins
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Publisher's summary
When the universe defaults on its existential loans, who better to foreclose the apocalypse than the Windowpuncher, Tyson Dawes?
Dearth Conglomerate is plummeting in market value, and Kraken is no more. But not all threats have been extinguished. Thanks to the rising threat of the Sleem, the whole multiverse is in danger. Desperate for a cosmic bailout, the Church calls for a financial crusade. Meanwhile, Molls and her family fall into a whole mess of market shock and face futures unknown.
With Storage under threat of hostile foreclosure, the universe faced with Sleem saturation, and Silken Sands spread thinly over too many areas of opportunity, has BuyMort found its final market victor?
From the elastic supply of the Church's Inquisition auditing Silken Sands to a climactic battle with ROI (that's Return on Incineration, by the way) so low it crashes all markets, this is one fiscal year you won't want to miss.
Get ready for a hostile takeover of epic proportions. In BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem, the end isn't nigh—it's been leveraged, securitized, and is ready to liquidate. Say your prayers and check your credit score because when the celestial ledger closes, you'll want to make sure your cosmic assets are diversified.
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Myrna, Leonie, and Chrissy meet every Thursday to sample fine cheeses, to reminisce about their former lives as professors, and lately, to muse about murder. Decades ago, a vicious cabal of male poets contrived—quite publicly and successfully—to undermine the writing career, confidence, and health of their dear friend Fern. Now, after Fern has taken a turn for the worse, her three old friends decide that it’s finally time to strike back—in secret, of course, since Fern is far too gentle to approve of a vendetta.
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Oof.
- By D on 05-09-24
By: Margaret Atwood
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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French & Saunders Titting About (Series 5)
- By: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Narrated by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
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Once again, the legendary comedy duo unearth six vitally important subjects... and then tit about about them. From surviving on a desert island to being eaten by a cardboard crocodile, Dawn and Jennifer will entertain, inform and thoroughly tit about for your pleasure. (Batteries not included.)
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Chuckles with “Titting About”
- By Robin Johnston on 05-04-24
By: Dawn French, and others
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Brackish Waters
- By: Matt Boren
- Narrated by: Christina Applegate
- Length: 1 hr and 55 mins
- Original Recording
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When Kate wins an item at her children’s elementary school auction - an all-inclusive trip to SeaView at Sandpiper Bay - she thinks it’s just what her family needs after a decade of career disappointments and a marriage on its last legs. She has no reason to believe that said trip is a Fyre Festival-level fraud and, in fact, the catalyst to her unraveling. But it is. Oh, but it is.
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Christina Applegate is everything
- By Julie on 03-21-21
By: Matt Boren
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A place of wonder, excitement, deadly traps and ferocious monsters, the Eternal Dungeon is an endless labyrinth of tunnels and rooms. With death awaiting through every door the dungeon needs new inhabitants to feed its hunger. Enter Jackson, snatched from his home via magic portal and dumped into the dungeon's dank halls. Assigned the role of a disposable monster by the class-based levelling system that puts the Eternal Dungeons denizens on an even footing, he must learn to master his new powers to survive.
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A well written, clever book with great narration
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J.B. Clarke enrolled in college to earn his degree and find a steady job. What he got instead was an adventure in a secret underworld where vampires rule over all. Emma Rose, a friendly gamer who turns out to be a succubus, recruits him into Broken Fang, an overly ambitious team of monster girls. These lovely ladies know they’ll need help if they’re to stand a chance against the vampires, and they’re looking for a few good men.
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In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him.
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could have been awesome...
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Fischer has everything he could possibly want in life: a menagerie of cute animal companions, a waterfront property from which to fish, friendships that blossom more and more by the day, and enough coffee to take out a small elephant—or a really large dog. If it were up to him, he'd spend the rest of his life laying in the shade with Maria at his side, a rod in one hand and a fresh pastry in the other. Unfortunately for Fischer, cosmic forces still don't care about mortal feelings.
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Modern Patriarch
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When Yao Shen, Patriarch of the Heavenly Sky Sect, ascends and regains memories of his past life on Planet Earth, he realizes that he can no longer allow himself to accept the cruel and violent ways of Eliria, the realm of cultivation. So he decides to change it. It was time to found a new sect. One based on the values of honor and equality over senseless violence and discrimination. A sect where all, from the mortal farmer’s son to a sect elder's daughter, were held accountable to the same rules.
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DNF'd and here's why...
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Assassinated King, Volume 1
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Getting assassinated sucks. Just ask Thomas, a man from Earth who made a few too many enemies. Or you could ask Lucian, the crown prince of another world who met a similar fate. But if you were to ask either of them, then you'd actually be asking the same man, as Thomas' soul was crammed into Lucian's body during their simultaneous assassinations. The Goddess who reincarnated him didn't do it for free, though. She tasked Lucian with the simple quest of saving the Almekian Kingdom from the brink of collapse.
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FLOOF
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By: Michael Plymel
What listeners say about BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered the Multiversal Monopoly
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ted
- 04-12-24
Chef's Kiss
If you are worried that the quality of the story will dip from the previous, fear not! Because it's just as good as the rest of the series!
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-11-24
Another solid entry into the series
this has quickly become one of my favorite series. Seeing all the characters grow from how they initially struggled is great. I'm a bit concerned about where the MC will go from here but if handled right I think we're in for some very compelling story telling to watch him struggle with he has become and what he's doing should be neat
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- Crystal Hayden
- 04-16-24
Non-stop action
Absolutely awesome!!! I love the whole shopocalypse. Wayne Mitchell beings the characters to life as the should be. Especially the warlord. I can't wait to see how Tyson brings down the church. I would highly recommend this whole series.
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- Kelly
- 04-15-24
Best one yet
Fun ride, well written, well narrated, good progression and this book was the cherry on top of a goofy ultra-capitalistic doomsday scenario. I hope there's at least one more, but understand if not. The stakes are getting almost too extreme to put into words, though Tysons newfound focus and clarity have made him more than a lucky indestructible ball of angry meat and into a commander of the multiversal forces and resources he now commands.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-19-24
Buy More
This series keeps getting better. Can’t wait for the next installment of the great series.
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- Dana B Bradley
- 04-12-24
Amazing
Such a great addition to the series, Garfield reference is hilarious… I cannot wait for the next one
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- jennifer
- 04-29-24
amazing butt kicking goodness.
From book number one to book number five it has been nonstop butt kicking action. Every time I think it can't get more action packed it does.
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- ryan
- 04-10-24
Love this damn series
I love everything about the shot not a single complaint other than not enough snooties and snitties with a sprinkling of snussy.
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- falcor
- 04-18-24
Funny, fascinating, relatable- great narration
so much fun, thrown into a crazy world brimming with cultures and mysteries and so many cool things..
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- Bunnies
- 04-20-24
great finish to a wonderful series!
this series was a joy to listen to and has such wonderful depth in both story and morality. I put his in my top 25 sci-fi / fantasy series. great job on the performance as well!
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