Dating & Dismemberment
Mating and Monsters, Book 1
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Dating & Dismemberment
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Narrated by:
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Eva Kaminsky
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By:
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A.L. Brody
About this listen
A ROMANTIC COMEDY FULL OF LOVE, LAUGHTER, AND LIMBS.
Darla Drake, Duchess of Death, is a legendary monster who has haunted the woods around Camp Clear Creek for years. Until an existential crisis forces her to take a sabbatical from wreaking havoc on pimply teens while she figures out what she really wants from the rest of her (possibly infinite) life. But what does a monster do when her malevolent days are over? For Darla, it’s spending time with the decapitated—yet still overbearing—head of her mother, reading romance novels she steals from campers, and struggling with one monstrous case of melancholy. Until Jarko Murkvale arrives in Clear Creek and turns Darla’s life upside down.
Jarko is conceited, arrogant, infuriating, and—unfortunately for Darla—kind of hot. And with the Duchess of Death on the shelf, Jarko has staked his claim on Camp Clear Creek. But Darla refuses to go down without a fight, and so in order to reclaim her territory she challenges Jarko to a series of hunts to see who the most fearsome monster really is.
The more mayhem they cause, the more Darla begins to realize there’s more to this brash monster than she believed … and that Jarko may just be the antidote to her ennui.
But there’s a reason Jarko came to Clear Creek, and in order to fill her nine-chambered heart, Darla will have to unravel the mystery of who this closed-off monster really is. And if they can manage to not literally tear each other limb from limb, Darla and Jarko just might find that couples who slay together, stay together.
NEW BONUS CHAPTER!
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By: Erin Clark, and others
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Verity
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Vanessa Johansson, Amy Landon
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 128,089
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 113,130
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 112,997
Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of best-selling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity's notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn't expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read.
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4 out of 5 stars
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intriguing but skip if triggered by child abuse
- By Amazon Customer on 05-16-19
By: Colleen Hoover
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The Last Letter
- A Novel
- By: Rebecca Yarros
- Narrated by: Teddy Hamilton, Jennifer Stark
- Length: 13 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,207
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 5,025
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,019
Beckett: If you’re reading this, well, you know the last-letter drill. You made it. I didn’t. Get off the guilt train, because I know if there was any chance you could have saved me, you would have. I need one thing from you: get out of the army and get to Telluride. My little sister Ella’s raising the twins alone. She’s too independent and won’t accept help easily, but she has lost our grandmother, our parents, and now me. It’s too much for anyone to endure. And here’s the kicker: there’s something else you don’t know that’s tearing her family apart.
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4 out of 5 stars
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What in the actual f@#k!
- By Booklover876🇯🇲 on 07-26-19
By: Rebecca Yarros
-
Den of Vipers
- By: K.A. Knight
- Narrated by: Cornell Collins, Hollie Jackson
- Length: 19 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 6,578
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 6,055
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Story4 out of 5 stars 6,048
Ryder, Garrett, Kenzo, and Diesel - The Vipers. Their deals are as sordid as their business, and their reputation is enough to bring a grown man to his knees, forcing him to beg for mercy. They are not people you mess with, yet my dad did. The old man ran up a debt with them and then sold me to cover his losses. Yes, sold me. They own me now. I’m theirs in every sense of the word. But I’ve never been meek and compliant.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Shrek
- By Shemika Holmes on 02-25-21
By: K.A. Knight
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Misdirected
- By: Lucy Parker
- Narrated by: Nicola Coughlan, Gwilym Lee
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 132
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 129
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 129
Hattie Murton never dreamed of TV stardom. A straight-from-a-fairytale encounter with a casting agent somehow landed her a part on what she’d thought would be a one-off pilot for Leicester Square…
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5 out of 5 stars
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Woooooowwwe
- By Carrie F on 02-05-25
By: Lucy Parker
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Birthday Girl
- By: Penelope Douglas
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden, Jennifer Mack
- Length: 13 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 11,008
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,852
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,840
We're not free to give into this. She's 19, and I'm 38. And I'm her boyfriend's father. Unfortunately, they both just moved into my house.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Serious perfection
- By Misty Walker on 08-09-18
By: Penelope Douglas
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It was already a weird Friday. My class is stuck on an eerily remote island for our senior trip, I’m pretty sure Mr. D (“call me Max”) is hiding something from us, my ex–best friend turned nemesis keeps stealing my candy, and tonight’s plan for my boyfriend and me to finally lose our virginity to each other is going hellishly. I mean, ceviche is delicious, don’t get me wrong. But a dish made from a supposedly immortal octopus should really come with a warning label.
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I like it, but so many questions at the end
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At the spry young age of twenty-five, Sai has led a quiet life, keeping the family teahouse up and running—even if that means ignoring the past-due notices—and taking care of his ailing mother. But he has a not-so-secret gift that he’s parlayed into a side career: he was born with the ability see the red threads of fate between soulmates, which lends itself nicely to matchmaking. Sai has thus far been content not to follow his own thread, the only one he’s ever seen that’s gray and fraying.
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I loved this one!!
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Twenty years after the witch in the gingerbread house, Greta and Hans are struggling to get by. Their mother and stepmother are long dead, Hans is deeply in debt from gambling, and the countryside lies in ruin, its people starving in the aftermath of a brutal war. Greta has a secret, though: the witch's grimoire, secreted away and whispering in Greta's ear for the past two decades, and the recipe inside that makes the best gingerbread you've ever tasted. As long as she can bake, Greta can keep her small family afloat.
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Nora thought she was finished with Rabbittown, Alabama, for good. But an unexpected tragedy turned her life upside down, and she’s found herself back in her tiny hometown running the family casket business. There aren’t exactly a lot of prospects for a single woman in her thirties in a place like Rabbittown. Until Nora Clanton’s ordinary, casket-selling day is interrupted by a handsome stranger wandering into her shop and asking for directions—as well as a date.
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Insufferable protagonist
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When the gold-dusted court invitation arrives at Suraya Saab’s forge, she believes it’s a joke. Nobles might seek her skills as a bladesmith—one of few who can imbue her work with precious jadu, the last source of magic in the realm—but she has no qualifications as a potential bride for the crown prince. Still, the invitation is the chance at adventure, and the means to finally visit the capital city her late mother loved. But what awaits her in Kaldari is nothing she could have imagined—and fraught with danger.
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2 out of 5 stars
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DNF
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Love and Other Conspiracies
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Hallie Barrett's life has imploded after she's dumped by her hotshot ex, who also happens to be her coworker and the star of the online series she was producing. Without a new show to present for the company competition, she’ll be out of a job. But inspiration can come from the strangest places . . . like the most handsome guy she’s ever seen passionately discussing Bigfoot on a late-night docuseries.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and Fun
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My Minotaur Husband
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 45
Theo the minotaur is shy, gentle, and kind, and wants nothing more than a human wife to spoil. When Celeste agrees to move in and start a trial marriage, he’ll do anything in his power to keep her happy and safe in a world where a human might make a great meal for another monster. The only problem? Theo is huge in more than one way—and he knows Celeste isn’t ready for him yet. It will take trust and time to prepare her as they start to build their new life together, and it might just lead to falling in love.
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5 out of 5 stars
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perfect cozy monster romance
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Five Broken Blades
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 322
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 308
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Story4 out of 5 stars 308
The five most dangerous liars in the land have been mysteriously summoned to work together for a single objective: to kill the god king Joon. He has it coming. Under his merciless immortal hand, the nobles flourish, while the poor and innocent are imprisoned, ruined … or sold. And now each of the five blades will come for him. Each has tasted bitterness—from the hired hit man seeking atonement, a lovely assassin who seeks freedom, or even the prince banished for his cruel crimes.
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1 out of 5 stars
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A journey lacking in substance, narrative and character.
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This Will Be Fun
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- By: E. B. Asher
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- Length: 12 hrs and 51 mins
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 29
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Everyone in Mythria knows the story of how best friends Beatrice and Elowen, handsome ex-bandit Clare, and valiant leader Galwell the Great defended the realm from darkness. It’s a tale beloved by all—except the heroes. They haven’t spoken in a decade, devastated by what their quest cost them. But when they all receive an invitation to the queen of Mythria’s wedding, it’s a summons they can’t refuse . . . and a reunion for the ages.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Accent inconsistency
- By Anonymous User on 01-05-25
By: E. B. Asher
What listeners say about Dating & Dismemberment
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Joella Berkner
- 11-30-24
Relationships matter
Whether it’s about family, dating, or friendship the relationships are important. The author shows you what each mean to the character. The dates are some of the best parts of the book, I’d describe my favorite but it would definitely be a spoiler. I enjoyed the explanation of why the monsters change who they hunt and why. If you think you’d enjoy a splash of horror mixed in with your romance I highly recommend this book.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 10-20-24
Just what I needed!
Hilarious monster rom com, that's a sentence I never thought I'd write. Fell in love with these characters and can't wait for more of their story and adventures. This book hits that spot from all the old campy horror flicks of my childhood, combined with sitcom like situations. February can't come fast enough. So glad I ran across this author on Tik Tok. Best late night purchase I've made in a long time.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- AAdaljiza S.
- 12-13-24
Hilarious!
This book was cute and fun! Enjoyed it thoroughly. I appreciated the mother-daughter relationship very much.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sota
- 11-09-24
better than butcher and blackbird
better than butcher and blackbird that's for sure, minus the smut but so much better we'll thought out and hella funny 😁
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- APerson
- 10-25-24
What a cute Monster Love Story
First off, I love A.L. Brody AKA Jason Pinter's writing. I adored The Reaper's Son and I knew I would love this too. This is a cozy monster love story, funny, filled with banter and fun. If you love monsters and rom coms, this is for you. Darla is your FMC, typical monster with typical monster problems (who knew, monsters are just like us). Enter Jarko, a monster encroaching her territory that will turn her world upside down and inside out. I enjoyed the banter between these two, I loved him pushing her to explore more and get out of the rut she was in. All around good book and remember "couples that slay together, stay together."
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