Dear Prudence

Liberating Lessons from Slate.com’s Beloved Advice Column

By: Daniel M. Lavery

Narrated by: Daniel M. Lavery

Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins

Publisher's summary

Based on the long-running Slate advice column, a collection of the most eye-opening, illuminating, and provocative installments during Daniel M. Lavery’s tenure as the titular Prudence.

Every week, millions of readers visit Slate for the irresistible “Dear Prudence,” an advice column that promises a healthy dose of reality and good humor alongside its indispensable suggestions and life lessons. The ever-hilarious and insightful Danny Lavery was one of “Dear Prudence”’s most beloved columnists, and he recounts his time as Prudie in this side-splitting, candid collection—complete with new commentary and exclusive stories—drawing out the broader themes of his informative, unfailingly illuminating guidance.

From guilt and blame (“Am I in the Wrong Here?”) to downright confusion (“Maybe This Is All a Misunderstanding”), from recently discovered wrenches-in-the-machine (“The Other Shoe Just Dropped”) to the travails of parenthood (“My Kids Are Growing Up. Can Someone Please Stop This?”), Dear Prudence isn’t afraid to go the extra mile in its search for the much-needed corrective, gentle reminder, or tough love. This is the go-to guide for anyone who’s just trying to figure it all out—with a helpful nudge.

©2023 Daniel M. Lavery (P)2023 HarperCollins Publishers

All the empathy and emotional intelligence.

I've been a fan of Danny's for well over a decade now, back on the "unprofitable website" mentioned 😂. Whether he was destroying our childhood nursery stories ("Screaming is like drowning. Asking questions is like drowning," thought Curious George), breaking down scenes from Shakespeare into modern bites or generally sharing pointed insights on current events that managed to be sharp yet never drawing blood -- I loved everything he wrote, and he was my favourite contributor.

When I heard about the Dear Prudence job, I was THRILLED. When I (far more quietly) heard about his transition, the mess within his family (it's all briefly covered), and his finally getting out of their reach I was nothing but full of joy for him. I've purchased a couple other books of his, and surprisingly "Texts from Jayne Eyre" is really, really good on audio!

This book is lovely. It's narrated by Danny himself, who does a fantastic job of conveying emotion while at the same time not distracting from the content itself. The content is much, much more emotionally mature and intelligent -- and analytical, which he lays out for you -- than I was expecting. I've enjoyed "Best of" bits of write-in advice columns like Ask A Manager, Captain Awkward, Doctor Nerdlove, as well as Dear Prudence (they have a ton in common, wildly), but this wasn't a humour book.

There are humorous parts (it's Daniel), but the majority of the book connects people with permission to take care of themselves, to not make themselves responsible for other people (who are not their small children), to not put up with sexist bullshit ("Everything was perfect when my wife was working full-time and taking care of our four children until she snapped --" "That is NOT PERFECT, except for you maybe, and where are you for all of this?") and to please maybe stop dating married people/cheating on your spouse/doing that thing you know is wrong but want a stranger's permission to do anyhow. Danny talks about the history of Dear Prudence and the persona of Prudie, and how that differs from his real life. Also how it's affected it, mostly for the good, although it's a LOT of typing. I imagine making a book involved a whole lot more!

I listened straight through, and it's a book I will definitely re-listen to again. Not as much for the letters (although some are pretty wild), but for Danny's insights and ability to track things down five layers to the root of the problem, which blew my mind each time. I want to learn how to do that! Letters are handled with gentleness and kindness, even ones I would have judged far more harshly. He never punches down, he's very rarely judgemental unless behaviour is really egregious, and he concentrates on solutions. And Marcus Aurelius.

I hope this review helps with your choice because credits are precious, and if you do pick it up I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Know there is a ton of content out there on the internet, some still under his deadname, but his website is really helpful if you enjoy his wit, film references, love of classic English literature, and ability to turn The Velveteen Rabbit into an absolute nightmare of a story. This is all brand new content save some of the letters themselves.

(Dan, your voice is fantastic at 8 months on T, I love it. I'm so happy for you! You be who you are inside, and I'll be your friend -- with pride)