Eight-Bit Bastards: Levels One and Two

By: Joshua Mason

Narrated by: Michael Norman Johnson

When you’ve maxed out your level, done every quest, and defeated every enemy, there’s not much left. So after seven centuries of immortality, Sean wants nothing more than to die. Afterall was touted as a paradise, an afterlife where anyone could pursue their interests, from archery to zookeeping. The gaming was the stuff of legend, but for Sean it had grown stale.

But when a woman from a past life informs him of a real, flesh-and-blood descendant that has hacked his way in, Sean finds a new purpose. The AI doesn’t take kindly to interlopers, and parks the intruder in the one realm so buggy that even the oldest, most powerful denizens of Afterall steer clear of it - the Bitrealm.

Sean must enter a land created for the original gamers, people like him who cut their teeth on some of the first video games released to the public. Will Sean brave the pixelated wilderness of Bitrealm to rescue his lost kin? Or will he fall victim to the force that has been making people vanish? One thing’s for certain, he can’t do it alone. He’s going to need a few members of his original guild.

He’s going to need some Eight-Bit Bastards.

Book Two:

Sean and the Bastards have entered the Bitrealm, and so far it hasn’t been all 1-Ups and treasure. They’ve tracked Pliny down to a castle in the mountains to the north, and they’ll need every bit of their skills, honed while playing some of the first and greatest video games, to survive its depths. But it won’t be easy. The castle soon takes its toll, separating the party and pitting them against some of the most dangerous creatures they’ve faced yet - creatures that may not be what they seem. Something has been tormenting the souls of Afterall, transforming them into shadows of their former selves. And with every twist and turn the castle throws at them, that something is getting closer. Add in a devious AI, a skeleton who’s watched too much TV, and more retro gaming goodness than you can shake a joystick at, and you have Eight-Bit Bastards.

©2019 Joshua Mason (P)2019 Spectrum Audiobooks

Cheesy, campy, and great

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

TLDR; Like a D&D campaign gone awry.

This is a fun listen, it's really got an early 90's D&D campaign, that the DM lost control of and just keeps letting things roll. The characters play with some "standard" character types, but they tweak them in fun ways. There's a lot of fairly "adult" humor, and the characters aren't really great people, but that's what makes it so much fun.

Overall, a fun listen, worth the time if you enjoy D&D or LitRPG. Avoid it if you don't care for "adult" humor.

4.5 Stars

Great Retro gaming LITRPG with some interesting takes on the genre. It is fast paced and worth a credit. Those of us that grew up with gaming in the 80's and 90's will appreciate the nostalgia. Characters are enjoyable and work well together. Narration was great with distinctions between voices, but there are sound effects that may be loud for headset users. I received this book for free for my honest review.

I would come back for level 3.

I recently picked up this book and I dig it. I liked the characters and I really liked the setting.

What Up homeskillets?!!

Joshua Mason returns more powerful than ever in his new series 8-Bit bastards. Personally, I look forward to the next books in his series including sixty-four bit SonsofBitches, eleven megabyte mother fu (Shut your mouth). Mmmmhmmm. Seriously, I enjoyed Mason’s Steam Alley book, but this one is where he seems to find his stride. He has substantive strife between his party members based on past actions, as well as the very subject of that strife being a reason for them to come together, that being the MC’s libido.

The premise is fairly simple, like an 8 bit game, People enter a virtual world where they will live out eternity; the game fills up and is shut down to any more entrants. There are multiple worlds and levels in the gameverse, but even that is not enough to keep the inhabitants from having seen it and done it all. All except for one eight bit game level that the players cannot game in because it drives them nuts. The game AI just so happens to shunt anyone caught trying to break into the game into that level and keeping them locked up there, don’t worry they can hack it have been indoctrinated to it before any other game worlds, but they are permanently trapped. Bad news for our heroes because one of their descendants has just gotten himself exiled there and they have to go off to free him.

That’s the premise, and the audio is comprised of two books in the series. They are fun jaunts and funny as hell in some spots. I really liked Nessler, the goofy boatman who calls everyone homeskillet and fires fingerguns at them. The story moves along well, and does a little spotlight on each character as they get their new classes in the 8 bit realm. I enjoyed the book(s) a lot and think that this is a cool world to visit, and I appreciated that we started the entire book already in game and didn’t have to wallow through going into the FIVER/Diver stuff or watch the characters muddle around picking their classes. Heck they were even skilled enough that they worked as a team pretty efficiently. This made the story move quicker, felt distilled (as if nothing extraneous was involved), and that we were able to get down to brass tacks rather than playing jacks waiting for events to unfold. There is also some intrigue and behind the scenes machinations going on that keeps things interesting. The only question that really through me off is that there is a player who takes copious notes throughout the book, and gets upset when his notes are ruined or lost, and yet everyone there has a photographic memory of anything that happened to them after they arrived, so there is no need to get upset over ruined notes as you could literally rewrite them line for line. Otherwise, I think it all worked well.

Michael Norman Johnson does his job. Like I said there are some honestly funny parts in this book ,and Johnson is half the reason they work. He could have seriously stubbed his toe trying to get Nessler right, but he nails the guy’s personality in just his voice, the same with the note taking party member. I enjoyed his pacing and his inflections, which gave the nice subtle hints as to what the characters were thinking. Mason made a good choice with Johnson. And here’s a disclaimer, as Forrest Gump once said, “No, we are not relations, sir.” So he earned the good word all on his own. And I totally need a Nessler Plushie now!!

Final score, 8 stars. I had fun with the book, which was mason’s intention all along, or else why would he call it 8-bit bastards? You’ll enjoy this too.

8-bit Greatness

I loved all the references to the games that I grew up with. This was a great story and very well performed. I can't wait to hear what happens next.

Original and Funny

This ones for the 80s kids. Litrpg for the orginal 8 bit gamers. In a genre where all the game worlds are these rich places of mystery and wonder that look and feel like real life set to a thousand, this story goes the complete opposite direction, kind of. The MCs of this one are hundreds of years old. s
Spending centuries in one of those worlds described above, having done everything one does to keep themselves occupied many times over, many gamers have even lost their will to live. Until new adventure for the sake of prodigy throws our heroes into an old school orginal rpg. My only complaint with this series is that they are to short and I want more. I love that you get books one and two together though. I cant wait to insert the next disc and continue this compelling journey through the 8 bit realms. Great writing and narration. I highly recommend this series.

An enjoyable story, but with a few minor issues

I liked the story for the most part, but sometimes the skills they earned didn't really fit with their character class in my opinion. The short length of the books led to the story feeling rushed at times and the end of the first book seemed pretty abrupt, so it's good this audiobook combines the first two books.
The narrator did a good job with the characters, and the bit music was fun at times, but the volume of the music when it played was louder than the narration which was unfortunate. I especially did not like the chime that plays at the beginning of each chapter. It was fine the first few times, but with it playing louder than the narrator's voice combined with the fact that often times the end of a chapter wasn't obvious, that noise surprised me more often that not, and not in a good way.
Overall, it was a decent start to a series with interesting enough characters, but there's a good deal of profanity, so maybe don't listen to it where the kids can hear.

A fun ride!

i drive for 10-11 hrs a day amd go through audio books like breathing. it can be difficult to find a book that keeps me as entertained as this one did. i look forward to more. thanks for the ride

Great LitRPG without too many stats

I really enjoyed this LitRPG book that tells a great game story but doesn't bury you in stats. I really appreciated the idea of super advanced VR gamers forced into an 8-bit style world. I kept picturing Minecraft melded with old school Zelda. I HIGHLY recommend this book.

Michael Norman Johnson does a brilliant job of voicing all the characters and really bringing them to life.

Must Listen If You Are a Retro Gamer

Book 1:

Very nostalgic book with lots of Easter eggs for those who grew up gaming. The most unique LITRPG I’ve ever read/listened to. 

The saga begins when an AI approaches Heather and tells her that a descendant of hers is trapped in an 8-Bit dungeon (sort of). She approaches Shawn to enlist his help and after recruiting two more people (Mark and Claudia) they proceed to enter the realm and have to level up. At one point they even have to grind to gain XP. 

If you grew up on NES, Sega and SNES you have got to get this book.

Michael Norman Johnson does a great job narrating. 

Book 2:

Friends become enemies in this book. Like the first it is divided into levels instead of chapters. 

The party finds Pliny but realize their quest has just begun. A bigger baddie is revealed.

Again loved the narration

I received this book free in exchange for an honest review.