How We Change

(And Ten Reasons Why We Don't)

By: Ross Ellenhorn

Narrated by: Nathan Agin

Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins

Publisher's summary

A paradigm-shifting instant classic in the making that challenges our assumptions about change by encouraging us to understand and embrace our resistance to it.

We all have something we want to change about ourselves. But whether it's quitting smoking, losing weight, or breaking some common bad habit or negative behavior pattern, we feel a sense of failure when we don’t succeed. This often sets off a cascade of negative feelings and discouragement, making it even harder to change. The voice in our head tells us: Why bother.

Successful change depends far more on understanding why we don’t change, psychotherapist and sociologist Ross Ellenhorn insists. His decades-long career as a pioneer in helping people overcome extreme psychiatric experiences and problematic substance-use issues - especially those whom the behavioral healthcare system has failed - especially those whom the mental healthcare system has failed - has lead him to develop an effective, long-term method to achieve transformation, from the simplest shifts to the most profound.

In How We Change, Ellenhorn looks to the evolutionary imperatives driving us. We are wired to double down on the familiar because of what he calls the "Fear of Hope" - the act of protecting ourselves from further disappointment. He identifies the “10 Reasons Not to Change” to help us see why we behave the way we do, making it clear that there is nothing broken inside us - it’s how we’re built. By addressing this little known reality, he gives us hope and helps us work toward the change we seek. Ellenhorn speaks to the core of our insecurities and fears about ourselves, with a humor and kindness. By turning our judgments about self-destructive behaviors into curious questions about them, he teaches us to think about our actions to discover what we truly want - even if we’re going about getting it in the wrong way. How We Change is a brilliant approach that will forever alter our perspective - and help us achieve the transformation we truly seek.

Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2020 Ross Ellenhorn (P)2020 HarperAudio

Embracing the tension

A refreshing guide to examine and perceive the forces that co-exist as we contemplate change.

Comprehensive

This book took ideas I was familiar with and spun them on their head. It was incredibly relatable and exciting to hear my own issues explained in a new way. My only complaint would be that it is low on action items but that’s my preference only. Definitely worth listening to!

love to read

it was good some really great thoughts that are life changing stuck in between some political views that should have been kept personal.

Good points but verbose

The author has some good points but I am afraid it gets lost because he goes on and on. Stories are too long and he doesn’t get to the point. I wish he would summarize better because it was hard to listen and to and focus on his key messages.

It just doesn't get any better than this !

My words can not express how this book/author / narrator has touched my heart and mind. Push forward and change and when you just can't anymore, pick this book back up read/listen and press forward again. Although I would have to say change also has a partner and/both to it, and it would be grow. This book makes you feel better about how hard things can be and why in your particular case, and makes you feel strong and truly feel you can carry on with your change and growth.

A Game-Changing Look at Change

Facilitates self-compassion with personal growth by illuminating the forces pulling at is as we change.

Breath of fresh air!

Great insights with meaningful anecdotes that aren’t insufferable, as most are in this genre. Change is possible, but thinking differently about the nuances of how is arguably imperative.

Wonderful insights

Some better and worse chapters. But the most relatable stories felt like I was in my own therapy sessions, hearing a detailed explanation about how my own thoughts and mind work

So worthy!!! And refreshing

This book is a blast of fresh air and a welcome addition to many other excellent resources for making peace with oneself. for me, “the body keeps the score” and “how we change” are my “go to’s” to use when I need a little more self compassion and self-discipline

it's all about perspective...?

Not exactly, but one's approach to change can make a significant difference. Agin writes in a conversational tone, explaining some reasons why we struggle to change, and how we can work with our natural human nature to face change from a strong foundation.

In these times of dramatic, frequent changes, this book was encouraging and even comforting. If reviews and sample sound at all interesting to you, I highly recommend it!