How to Know a Person

The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

By: David Brooks

Narrated by: David Brooks

Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins

Publisher's summary

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”

And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?

Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.

©2023 David Brooks (P)2023 Random House Audio

Thanks for a step by step guide

For a long time I’ve found the first words of Psalm 139, “O Lord, thou hast searched me and KNOWN me,” to be a poignant reminder of how to enter an attitude of prayer. I’ve tried to cultivate a willingness to be known, to value transparency, and to recognize vulnerability not as weakness, but as a place for light to get in. What David Brooks has done is to provide a practical guide for me to mirror towards others what I’ve come to expect from the divine. Thank you.

Easy listening for everyone!

David Brooks offers a calm & interesting explanation of basic human interactions that can become a natural & normal behavior for teens, working adults, retirees. I plan to re-read again!

Much needed insight and tools

Loved this book… so helpful in understanding one’s own lack and also need of knowing ourselves. But great tools for connection and opening up to hear each others stories.

Wonderful book that inspires human connection

I've been a long-time fan of David Brooks's work, and this book is no exception. It has been fascinating to watch him progressively reconsider himself and his positions on issues that have defined his career for the last few decades. This book feels like the culmination of his last three and has inspired me to be more deliberate with cultivating my interpersonal relationships. It reads as honest, considerate and thought-provoking. I plan to buy a few copies to give to my family as gifts this winter.

Won over this skeptic

The title seems to over-promise, but it is a coherent and well supported approach to getting a deeper understanding of those willing to share with you. Vignettes from many domains are woven through - literature, biography, research, autobiography, friends, clients, and strangers. Consistently delivers all the way through. Allow yourself a day off between each chapter or two so you can digest more fully.

Brave, Kind, Compassionate

Thoughtfully written, meaningful and moving stories, extremely human. Worth a read/listen if you interact with any humans.

Excellent advice

The book started out strong as a five star. But then the second half droned on and was 3.5 star. Overall worth a listen.

How to KNOW a Person

WOW! This is a book we all need to read or listen to more than once!!!!!!
To get to know ourselves, the people around us, and the people we think we don’t like. Please get it and incorporate into your soul. Share it with others to help make this a better world.
Thanks to Morning Joe for featuring it on the show.

missed opportunities

very attorney needs to read or listen this book. you miss opportunities to connect.

Outstanding Read

So enlightening! A good read for all humans seeking to see others and be seen themselves.