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If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry
- How Death, Debt, and Comedy Led to a Life of Faith, Farming, and Forgetting What I Came into This Room For
- Narrated by: Molly Stillman, Lisa Larsen
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
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Publisher's summary
Read by the author.
Some people have life all figured out. This book is for the rest of us.
Molly Stillman has lived the type of life that when shared, people stop in their tracks and ask “Wait, what happened?” Molly’s mother, Lynda Van Devanter Buckley, served as an Army nurse during the Vietnam War and wrote the bestselling memoir Home Before Morning. When Molly was seventeen, Lynda passed away after an eight-year battle with an autoimmune disorder due to her exposure to Agent Orange. Four years later Molly turned twenty-one and unexpectedly inherited a quarter of a million dollars from her mother’s estranged family’s estate. Through “retail therapy” and a long series of grossly irresponsible financial decisions, Molly found herself broke with over $36,000 in credit card debt less than two years later. Shame, guilt, and embarrassment set in.
With aspirations of a career in comedy, Molly used humor to mask the pain and brokenness she felt, believing that if she looked joyful and put together on the outside, it would eventually be true on the inside. Instead, she spent the next few years depressed, lonely, and feeling alienated from those closest to her. But an unlikely call with a compassionate credit counselor, meeting the spreadsheet-loving man who eventually became her husband, and a surprising visit to a church started her on a path that changed everything.
If I Don’t Laugh, I’ll Cry offers humor and hope to all of us who have struggled to reconcile the life we are living with the life we thought we wanted to have. Molly will bring you into the tension of feeling both joy and grief and show you that every broken, messed up story has a purpose, and it’s possible to gain everything if you’re willing to surrender it all to Jesus.
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Story
As an A&R man at Epic Records, Tom Werman helped introduce the world to REO Speedwagon, Boston, Ted Nugent, and Cheap Trick; he also discovered KISS, Rush, and Lynyrd Skynyrd, but his record label passed on all of them. Then, as an independent producer, he oversaw landmark albums by Mötley Crüe, Twisted Sister, Lita Ford, Jeff Beck, Poison, and many more. All in all, his record-making resume includes twenty-three gold- or platinum-selling albums and cumulative sales of more than fifty-two million copies.
By: Tom Werman
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Distant Shores
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Bernadette Quigley
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Elizabeth and Jackson Shore married young, raised two daughters, and weathered the storms of youth as they built a future together. But after the children leave home, they quietly drift apart. When Jack accepts a wonderful new job offer, Elizabeth puts her needs aside to follow him across the country. Until the sudden death of her father changes everything.
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Hit way too close to home
- By The Wylder Skye on 01-28-17
By: Kristin Hannah
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Rabbit Heart
- A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Story
- By: Kristine S. Ervin
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For readers of My Dark Places and I'll Be Gone in the Dark, a beautiful, brutal memoir documenting one woman’s search for identity alongside her family's decades-long quest to identify the two men who abducted—and murdered—her mother.
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Well written interesting story
- By Grace on 04-15-24
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Firefly Lane
- A Novel
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 17 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the turbulent summer of 1974, Kate Mularkey has accepted her place at the bottom of the eighth-grade social food chain. Then, to her amazement, the "coolest girl in the world" moves in across the street and wants to be her friend. Tully Hart seems to have it all - beauty, brains, ambition. On the surface they are as opposite as two people can be: Kate, doomed to be forever uncool, with a loving family who mortifies her at every turn.
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Beachy Fare
- By FanB14 on 04-29-13
By: Kristin Hannah
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Winter Garden
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Meredith and Nina Whitson are as different as sisters can be. One stayed at home to raise her children and manage the family apple orchard; the other followed a dream and traveled the world to become a famous photojournalist. But when their beloved father falls ill, Meredith and Nina find themselves together again, standing alongside their cold, disapproving mother, Anya, who even now, offers no comfort to her daughters.
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I thought I made a mistake
- By A. Musser on 11-29-17
By: Kristin Hannah
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Home Before Morning
- The Story of an Army Nurse in Vietnam
- By: Lynda Van Devanter
- Narrated by: Ann Sprinkle
- Length: 15 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Lynda Van Devanter was the girl next door, the cheerleader who went to Catholic schools, enjoyed sports, and got along well with her four sisters and parents. After high school she attended nursing school and then did something that would shatter her secure world for the rest of her life: in 1969, she joined the army and was shipped to Vietnam. When she arrived in Vietnam her idealistic view of the war vanished quickly. She worked long hours in cramped, ill-equipped, understaffed operating rooms. She saw friends die.
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Disappointed
- By LLH on 07-13-23
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Turn It Up!
- My Time Making Hit Records in the Glory Days of Rock Music
- By: Tom Werman
- Narrated by: Tom Werman
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As an A&R man at Epic Records, Tom Werman helped introduce the world to REO Speedwagon, Boston, Ted Nugent, and Cheap Trick; he also discovered KISS, Rush, and Lynyrd Skynyrd, but his record label passed on all of them. Then, as an independent producer, he oversaw landmark albums by Mötley Crüe, Twisted Sister, Lita Ford, Jeff Beck, Poison, and many more. All in all, his record-making resume includes twenty-three gold- or platinum-selling albums and cumulative sales of more than fifty-two million copies.
By: Tom Werman
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Distant Shores
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Bernadette Quigley
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Elizabeth and Jackson Shore married young, raised two daughters, and weathered the storms of youth as they built a future together. But after the children leave home, they quietly drift apart. When Jack accepts a wonderful new job offer, Elizabeth puts her needs aside to follow him across the country. Until the sudden death of her father changes everything.
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Hit way too close to home
- By The Wylder Skye on 01-28-17
By: Kristin Hannah
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Rabbit Heart
- A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Story
- By: Kristine S. Ervin
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For readers of My Dark Places and I'll Be Gone in the Dark, a beautiful, brutal memoir documenting one woman’s search for identity alongside her family's decades-long quest to identify the two men who abducted—and murdered—her mother.
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Well written interesting story
- By Grace on 04-15-24
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Firefly Lane
- A Novel
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 17 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the turbulent summer of 1974, Kate Mularkey has accepted her place at the bottom of the eighth-grade social food chain. Then, to her amazement, the "coolest girl in the world" moves in across the street and wants to be her friend. Tully Hart seems to have it all - beauty, brains, ambition. On the surface they are as opposite as two people can be: Kate, doomed to be forever uncool, with a loving family who mortifies her at every turn.
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Beachy Fare
- By FanB14 on 04-29-13
By: Kristin Hannah
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Winter Garden
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Meredith and Nina Whitson are as different as sisters can be. One stayed at home to raise her children and manage the family apple orchard; the other followed a dream and traveled the world to become a famous photojournalist. But when their beloved father falls ill, Meredith and Nina find themselves together again, standing alongside their cold, disapproving mother, Anya, who even now, offers no comfort to her daughters.
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I thought I made a mistake
- By A. Musser on 11-29-17
By: Kristin Hannah
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Night Road
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For 18 years, Jude Farraday has put her children’s needs above her own, and it shows - her twins, Mia and Zach, are bright and happy teenagers. When Lexi Baill moves into their small, close-knit community, no one is more welcoming than Jude. Lexi, a former foster child with a dark past, quickly becomes Mia’s best friend. Then Zach falls in love with Lexi and the three become inseparable. Jude does everything to keep her kids on track for college and out of harm’s way. It has always been easy - until senior year of high school. Suddenly she is at a loss.
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Oh for heaven's sake
- By Angela on 10-24-11
By: Kristin Hannah
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But Everyone Feels This Way
- How an Autism Diagnosis Saved My Life
- By: Paige Layle
- Narrated by: Paige Layle
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Paige Layle was normal. She lived in the countryside with her mom, dad, and brother Graham. She went to school, hung out with friends, and all the while everything seemed so much harder than it needed to be. A break in routine threw off the whole day. If her teacher couldn't answer “why” in class, she dissolved into tears, unable to articulate her own confusion or explain her lack of control.
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Very helpful perspective about growing up uniquely
- By Schuyler on 04-13-24
By: Paige Layle
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Magic Hour
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the rugged Pacific Northwest lies the Olympic National Forest - nearly a million acres of impenetrable darkness and impossible beauty. From deep within this old growth forest, a six-year-old girl appears. Speechless and alone, she offers no clue as to her identity, no hint of her past.
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Horrible narration
- By Howard Egan on 12-27-20
By: Kristin Hannah
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I Shouldn't Feel This Way
- Name What’s Hard, Tame Your Guilt, and Transform Self-Sabotage into Brave Action
- By: Alison Cook PhD
- Narrated by: Alison Cook
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Do you beat yourself up when what you feel doesn’t align with the person you think you should be? You “should” be a good friend, but you feel hurt by past betrayals. You “should” be content, but you feel lonely or unfulfilled. You “should” have faith, but you feel discouraged by unanswered prayers. Instead of working through these inner tensions, you guilt-trip or gaslight yourself, which just leaves you feeling stuck, defeated, and trapped by conflicting feelings. But there is another path.
By: Alison Cook PhD
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The Amish Wife
- Unraveling the Lies, Secrets, and Conspiracy That Let a Killer Go Free
- By: Gregg Olsen
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 1977, in an Ohio Amish community, pregnant wife and mother Ida Stutzman perished during a barn fire. The coroner’s report: natural causes. Ida’s husband, Eli, was never considered a suspect. But when he eventually rejected the faith and took his son, Danny, with him, murder followed. What really happened to Ida? The dubious circumstances of the tragic blaze were willfully ignored and Eli’s shifting narratives disregarded.
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Outstanding
- By Tiana Martin on 05-03-24
By: Gregg Olsen
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Summer Island
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Thirty-four-year-old Ruby Bridge is a not-too-successful comedienne who uses her mother, a nationally-syndicated "moral and spiritual counselor" as the main fodder for her cynical, rather bitter humor. Her mother Nora, long divorced from Ruby's father, is a woman whose past is just about to catch up with her - in the form of blackmail by a former lover.
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Disappointed
- By Lisa on 04-10-20
By: Kristin Hannah
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Between Sisters
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Meghann Dontess is a woman haunted by heartbreak. Twenty-five years ago she was forced to make a terrible choice, one that cost her everything, including the love of her sister, Claire. Now, Meghann is a hotshot divorce attorney who doesn’t believe in intimacy - until she meets the one man who can change her mind.
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Fantastic!
- By drwm on 02-21-15
By: Kristin Hannah
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Home Front
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Maggi-Meg Reed
- Length: 15 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Like many couples, Michael and Jolene Zarkades have to face the pressures of everyday life—children, careers, bills, chores—even as their twelve-year marriage is falling apart. Then a deployment sends Jolene deep into harm's way and leaves defense attorney Michael at home, unaccustomed to being a single parent to their two girls. As a mother, it agonizes Jolene to leave her family, but as a solider, she has always understood the true meaning of duty. In her letters home, she paints a rose-colored version of her life on the front lines, shielding her family from the truth.
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Very Disappointed
- By Elizabeth on 03-17-12
By: Kristin Hannah
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Angel Falls
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Bruce Reizen
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Michaela, beloved wife and mother of two, lies in a coma. Doctors have told her husband Liam not to expect a recovery, but he maintains hope that love can accomplish what medicine cannot. Day after day, he sits by her bedside, holding her hand, sharing the stories of their life together. Then he discovers the evidence of his wife's secret past - a long hidden first marriage to international movie star Julian True.
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Terrible Narrator
- By lomo7678 on 08-21-14
By: Kristin Hannah
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On Mystic Lake
- A Novel
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On the day her daughter leaves for college, Anne Colwater's husband of 20 years announces he wants a divorce. Her roles of wife and mother suddenly gone, Annie retreats to her childhood home of Mystic, Washington, to heal. There she finds her old friend Nick, suddenly widowed and unable to cope with his emotionally scarred young daughter, Izzie.
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Never been so disappointed
- By Anonymous User on 12-28-10
By: Kristin Hannah
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The Berlin Letters
- A Cold War Novel
- By: Katherine Reay
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld, Ann Marie Gideon, P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the time she was a young girl, Luisa Voekler has loved solving puzzles and cracking codes. Brilliant and logical, she’s expected to quickly climb the career ladder at the CIA. But while her coworkers have moved on to thrilling Cold War assignments—especially in the exhilarating era of the late 1980s—Luisa’s work remains stuck in the past decoding messages from World War II.
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Don't be fooled
- By TdelaT on 03-09-24
By: Katherine Reay
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Sociopath
- A Memoir
- By: Patric Gagne Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Patric Gagne Ph.D.
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Patric Gagne realized she made others uncomfortable before she even started kindergarten. Something about her caused people to react in a way she didn’t understand. She suspected it was because she didn’t feel things the way other kids did. Emotions like fear, guilt, and empathy eluded her. For the most part, she felt nothing. And she didn’t like the way that “nothing” felt.
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Fascinating and Perfect Performance!
- By ScoobaRubio on 04-05-24
What listeners say about If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Kristin Edwards
- 04-24-24
Funny, raw and real
How brave to show so much of your life, the dark parts most of us hide and are scared for the light to hit. Thank you. It was funny and raw and I loved every word. What a blessing it was to hear it spoken by Molly herself. Feels like that long catch up with a friend you haven’t seen in decades. A story of faith, encouragement, grief, childhood. I loved it, thank you for sharing your story with us.
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