If Only I'd Known!
How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth
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Narrated by:
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Chelsey Brooke Cole
About this listen
This therapist-written and recommended 3-part audiobook will help you understand the inner workings of a narcissist, heal from narcissistic abuse, and experience sustainable post-traumatic growth.
In relationships, have you ever found yourself:
• Feeling like something is "off," but not being able to explain why?
• Leaving conversations feeling more confused than when you started them?
• Constantly ruminating on how to "make sense" of what you feel and what's happening?
• Feeling "not enough" no matter how hard you try?
Narcissistic abuse creates a tidal wave of confusion, hypervigilance, and overthinking. You have trouble thinking clearly, remembering things, or taking in new information.
And because these changes are happening to you, you begin to wonder:
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I make this relationship work?
Am I fundamentally broken?
And that's exactly how narcissistic abuse works—it happens so subtly that you believe the insecurities you're experiencing are "you" instead of "what's happening" to you.
You think there's something wrong with you.
You think you need to change or get better.
You think no one else understands.
Narcissistic abuse is a multilayered attack on your sense of self—a dismantling of who you are and what you believe you're worth.
This audiobook covers unique information related to narcissistic abuse, including:
• How different narcissistic types love bomb
• Cognitive, emotional, behavioral, and physiological warning signs that you're being abused
• How and why narcissistic trauma bonds form and the process to untangle yourself from these binding relationships
• How to set boundaries even if you're highly empathic
• The most common reasons you stay stuck and how to get "unstuck"
If you've ever wondered:
• How did I get into this relationship?
• I'm such a people pleaser—how can I set better boundaries?
• What if healing isn't possible for me?
• I feel so lost and broken—where do I even start?
This audiobook is for you!
©2023 Chelsey Brooke Cole, LPC-MHSP, CPTT, RPT (P)2023 Chelsey Brooke Cole, LPC-MHSP, CPTT, RPTListeners also enjoyed...
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- Unabridged
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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The 6 Habits of Growth
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
- By B. Sharpe on 10-30-22
By: Brendon Burchard
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
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- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
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21 Days to Believe in Yourself
- By: Michelle Poler
- Narrated by: Michelle Poler
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- Original Recording
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21 Days to Believe In Yourself creates a space for people to take a look inside and, little by little, dare to bring what they find to the surface. By asking the right questions, the audience will get in touch with their most authentic selves and from a place of self-acceptance, fully own who they really are.
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Absolutely 💯 loved it!
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By: Michelle Poler
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Take Control of Your Life
- How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
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Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
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Stop living in fear
- By Nike7 on 02-08-19
By: Mel Robbins
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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The Mastery of Self
- A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom
- By: Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
- Narrated by: Charlie Varon
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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listen.. .then listen again
- By Casiano on 12-22-16
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How to Train Your Mind
- Exploring the Productivity Benefits of Meditation
- By: Chris Bailey
- Narrated by: Chris Bailey
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Original Recording
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
- By T.D.Willis on 01-17-21
By: Chris Bailey
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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Natural Rapid Weight Loss, Lose Weight Faster with Hypnosis, Meditation, and Affirmations
- The Sleep Learning System
- By: Joel Thielke
- Narrated by: Joel Thielke
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Original Recording
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Naturally lose weight fast and get the body you've been wanting. Stop old habits in their tracks, shed pounds now, and feel amazing. Rapid weight loss is yours today with this powerful guided meditation program from the Sleep Learning System and world-renowned hypnotherapist Joel Thielke.
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My new favorite hypnosis audio!
- By Penny on 04-03-16
By: Joel Thielke
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Models
- Attract Women Through Honesty
- By: Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer.
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The content is great but the reader is awful
- By Mark Speener on 06-24-14
By: Mark Manson
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Not Nice
- Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself
- By: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Narrated by: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Length: 18 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you too nice? If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say "no" to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the most bold, expressive, authentic version of you.
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Changed my life forever
- By Shannon Slater on 12-07-18
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
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Is there a hidden part of you that no one else sees? Do you have a vivid inner world of thoughts and emotions that your peers and loved ones can't seem to access? Have you ever been told you're too quiet, shy, boring, or awkward? Are your habits and comfort zones questioned by a society that doesn't seem to get you? If so, you might be an introvert. On behalf of those who have long been misunderstood, rejected, or ignored, fellow introvert Jenn Granneman writes a compassionate vindication.
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Unnecessary voices
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Conflict is a natural part of any intimate relationship. Yet most couples either avoid it or try to smooth over their differences. This often results in at least one partner compromising their integrity—and stunting their own growth. Monsters in Love challenges the idea that conflict between partners is unhealthy or something to avoid. Instead, it encourages both people to stand by what they need and who they are—but to do so with compassion rather than competitiveness or vengefulness.
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Words to Feeling
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How to Listen
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At a time when we are more technologically linked than ever, our conversations have never been more distracted and disconnected—because most don’t know how to truly listen. The result? You constantly fight to be “heard” over all the noise and distraction. In How to Listen, Oscar Trimboli, host of the Apple-award-winning podcast Deep Listening, shows you how to unlock your listening superpowers. Trimboli shares practical and pragmatic insights to help you notice when you aren’t listening—and what to do about it.
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A transformative journey
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The Stoic Challenge
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- Narrated by: Brian Troxell
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Some people bounce back in response to setbacks; others break. We often think that these responses are hardwired, but fortunately this is not the case. Stoicism offers us an alternative approach. Plumbing the wisdom of one of the most popular and successful schools of thought from ancient Rome, philosopher William B. Irvine teaches us to turn any challenge on its head. The Stoic Challenge, then, is the ultimate guide to improving your quality of life through tactics developed by ancient Stoics, from Marcus Aurelius and Seneca to Epictetus.
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Rehashing of points in Irvine's previous work
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What listeners say about If Only I'd Known!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Juan Servin
- 01-03-24
This book is amazing.
It was an amazing experience to listen to this audio book. The narrative is so close to the audience, that made me have a perfect understanding all the way from the beginning to the end. I found a profound connection with the author that I am seriously considering on sharing my story. Before I listened this audio book, it was hard to find a good resource of support for people like me. A man who was a victim of narcissistic abuse is not a common thing. All the programs out there are made for female victims. I recommend this book 1000%.
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- Anonymous User
- 08-23-23
Dealing with a Narc? Then this is for you
This book gave me the information, insight and courage I needed to realize I’m married to a narcissist. never feeling good enough and always believe they will change for the better, this book sums it up in soluch a great way. I am so grateful for the information from Chelsey. I feel anyone who thinks they are dealing with a narcissist should have this book,
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- by jake
- 01-25-24
Fantastic Book!
What a fantastic book. It felt so good to be affirmed and put an explanation to the years of emotional and psychological abuse that I endured. I highly recommend!
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- Chris
- 10-08-23
The Survival Manual for Victims of NPD Abuse
I first found and followed Chelsey on FB- her insight and breakdown of NPD behaviors is so accurate that it makes you want to keep reading. Her empathy and understanding towards survivors of these toxic behaviors helps us know that we are not alone. This book is a deep dive from what she shares online, and it really helped me understand more about the subtleties of the trauma bond, as well as the intricacies of the different types of narcissists (among other things- there is so much more). It is a great book- it is on my shelf, right next to "Stop Walking on Eggshells..." possibly the foremost text on surviving BPD people. I consider this book to be of the same caliber. Thank you Chelsey, for this, and for the generosity you show in your online content. This world is a better place because of you.
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- Angeles
- 11-21-24
Timely advice
Easy to understand and full of practical advice in a subject that is not talked much about
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- Michelle
- 08-24-23
Losing yourself and need a roadmap? This is for U!
If Only I'd Known paints the picture so clear there is no way to deny the impact of this type of abuse, if this is what you are experiencing.
Do you feel stuck? Do not recognize yourself? Constantly questioning yourself? Feel you are not enough...YOU are not ALONE!
Chelsey has the knowledge, expertise, experience and real-life strategies to help you become armed with information that can lead to healing which leads to a way out to an abundant life that you so richly deserve. You owe it to yourself to educate yourself especially with a licensed therapist like Chelsey who has also had firsthand experience of Narcissistic Abuse.
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- Kim Harris
- 05-22-24
BEGINNER EMPATHY
Basic and easy to understand. A good place to start start learning about an Empath or find out if you are one.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-12-24
mot of this was an exact copy of most of my experiences.
not only is her voice very kind, inviting but also reassuring. I learn so much listening to this. I understand me more after listening to this. I feel encouraged and not as afraid of everything as I had been.... I'm ready for the next book!!
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-10-23
So very helpful!
Because it was so positive and helpful. Author not only explained very thoroughly about how to spot a narcissist, she gave clear, down to earth examples. But she didn’t leave us hanging with hopelessness: She explained how sensitive personalities tend to respond and how narcissists control them. Provided a manual of steps to take toward growth. I’m going to listen again!
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- Caitlin
- 04-01-24
One of Those Life Toolkit Books
Loved the content and the author’s tone when approaching the topics. It’s a book everyone needs to read. It’s not a book to binge, though! I had to pause and process a lot of what I was reading / hearing. I’m recommending it to my clients, too.
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