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I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
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-
Story
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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The Unnoticeables: A Novel
- The Vicious Circuit, Book 1
- By: Robert Brockway
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl, Emily Foster, Scott Merriman
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
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Story
There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.
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Left wanting
- By Michelle L. Baron on 08-08-15
By: Robert Brockway
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack
- Books 1-2
- By: D.M. Guay
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
- By AJ on 11-29-20
By: D.M. Guay
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Gil's All Fright Diner
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.
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I loved it!
- By colleen on 05-27-12
By: A. Lee Martinez
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Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One
- By: Jack Townsend
- Narrated by: Jon Grilz, Nate DuFort, Nichole Goodnight, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night-shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all. That is, until his best friend reveals the body of a local politician hidden in the trunk of a car, setting off a chain of events with apocalyptic potential. Soon, Jack finds himself entangled in a supernatural conspiracy involving monster hunters, sociopaths, doomsday cultists, and...garden gnomes?
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Mr. CreepyPasta Narration is better
- By Kelsey on 08-11-23
By: Jack Townsend
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Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits
- By: David Wong, Jason Pargin
- Narrated by: Christy Romano
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. Meanwhile a young girl is caught in the middle and thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. Zoey, a recent college graduate with a worthless degree, makes a reluctant trip into the city after hearing that her estranged con artist father died in a mysterious yet spectacular way.
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This whole city is a butt that farts horror.
- By Claudia H on 03-03-16
By: David Wong, and others
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
-
-
Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
-
The Unnoticeables: A Novel
- The Vicious Circuit, Book 1
- By: Robert Brockway
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl, Emily Foster, Scott Merriman
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.
-
-
Left wanting
- By Michelle L. Baron on 08-08-15
By: Robert Brockway
-
24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack
- Books 1-2
- By: D.M. Guay
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
-
-
cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
- By AJ on 11-29-20
By: D.M. Guay
-
Gil's All Fright Diner
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.
-
-
I loved it!
- By colleen on 05-27-12
By: A. Lee Martinez
-
Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One
- By: Jack Townsend
- Narrated by: Jon Grilz, Nate DuFort, Nichole Goodnight, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night-shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all. That is, until his best friend reveals the body of a local politician hidden in the trunk of a car, setting off a chain of events with apocalyptic potential. Soon, Jack finds himself entangled in a supernatural conspiracy involving monster hunters, sociopaths, doomsday cultists, and...garden gnomes?
-
-
Mr. CreepyPasta Narration is better
- By Kelsey on 08-11-23
By: Jack Townsend
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Bury Your Gays
- By: Chuck Tingle
- Narrated by: André Santana
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Misha knows that chasing success in Hollywood can be hell. But finally, after years of trying to make it, his big moment is here: an Oscar nomination. And the executives at the studio for his long-running streaming series know just the thing to kick his career to the next level: kill off the gay characters, "for the algorithm," in the upcoming season finale. Misha refuses, but he soon realizes that he’s just put a target on his back.
By: Chuck Tingle
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Witchcraft for Wayward Girls
- By: Grady Hendrix
- Length: 15 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Set in Florida in 1970, Grady Hendrix's newest novel follows a group of young women in a home for unwed mothers who find a guide to witchcraft.
By: Grady Hendrix
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I Shouldn’t Be Telling You This
- (But I'm Going to Anyway)
- By: Chelsea Devantez
- Narrated by: Chelsea Devantez
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
There are things Chelsea Devantez probably shouldn’t be telling you. Many of them are in this book: some are embarrassing (like when she tried to break her three year spell of celibacy using a guide of seduction tips). Some are confessional (getting sentenced to the “hell hill” at Mormon church camp). Some are TMI (a series of outrageous doctor visits that ended with one doctor misdiagnosing her as “pregnant.” Woopsies!).
By: Chelsea Devantez
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Hard Luck Hank: Screw the Galaxy
- By: Steven Campbell
- Narrated by: Liam Owen
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Hank is a thug. He knows he's a thug. He has no problem with that realization. In his view the galaxy has given him a gift: a mutation that allows him to withstand great deals of physical trauma. He puts his abilities to the best use possible and that isn't by being a scientist. Besides, the space station Belvaille doesn't need scientists. It is not, generally, a thinking person's locale. It is the remotest habitation in the entire Colmarian Confederation. There is literally no reason to be there.
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A bunch of genres crammed into good fun
- By Thomas Allen on 09-11-14
By: Steven Campbell
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Supervillainy and Other Poor Career Choices
- By: J.R. Grey
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When a down-on-his-luck engineer ends up coming into possession of a rundown suit of power-armor, he sees an opportunity to make some quick cash by selling it off to the nearest supervillain. Unfortunately for him, what should have been a quick and easy sale to pay off his debts quickly grows into an ongoing series of events that serve only to drag him deeper and deeper into the criminal underbelly of the city he calls home.
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Who doesn’t love a techno-hermit with a set of power armor! 🤖
- By C. White on 11-12-19
By: J.R. Grey
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Down with the System
- A Memoir (of Sorts)
- By: Serj Tankian
- Narrated by: Serj Tankian
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Serj Tankian will be the first to admit that his band, System of a Down, was “unlikely a chart-topper as had ever existed in modern music history: a band of Armenian-Americans playing a practically unclassifiable clash of wildly aggressive metal riffs, unconventional tempo-twisting rhythms, and Armenian folk melodies, with me alternately growling, screaming, and crooning lyrics that could pivot from avant-garde silliness to raging socio-political rants in the space of a single line.” After all, as Serj concedes, “it’s not easy listening.”
By: Serj Tankian
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Joyful Recollections of Trauma
- By: Paul Scheer
- Narrated by: Paul Scheer
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Paul Scheer has entertained countless fans and podcast listeners with stories about the odd, wild, and absurd details of his life. Yet these tales have pointed to deeper, more difficult truths that the actor and comedian has kept to himself. Now, he is finally ready to share those truths for the first time—but, of course, with a healthy dose of humor.
By: Paul Scheer
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The Customer Is Always Wrong
- An Unhinged Guide to Everything That Sucks About Work (from an Angry Retail Guy)
- By: Scott Seiss
- Narrated by: Scott Seiss
- Length: 2 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.
By: Scott Seiss
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The Colour of Magic
- Discworld, Book 1
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Colin Morgan, Peter Serafinowicz, Bill Nighy
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place that might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Particularly as it’s carried though space on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown). It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc’s very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world’s first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land.
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TERRIBLE Narration!
- By Kayla I on 07-08-22
By: Terry Pratchett
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Ambergris
- City of Saints and Madmen, Shriek, Finch
- By: Jeff VanderMeer
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot, Cassandra Campbell, Oliver Wyman
- Length: 43 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Before Area X, there was Ambergris. Jeff VanderMeer conceived what would become his first cult classic series of speculative works: the Ambergris trilogy. Now, for the first time ever, the story of the sprawling metropolis of Ambergris is collected into a single volume, including City of Saints and Madmen, Shriek: An Afterword, and Finch.
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Entrancing “weird” novel
- By Joe on 12-04-20
By: Jeff VanderMeer
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Democracy or Else
- How to Save America in 10 Easy Steps
- By: Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
If you’re looking to navigate the chaotic, dunce-infested waters of American politics, Democracy or Else is here to help you tackle what might be the greatest question of our time: How do you get involved in the political process and make a real difference without giving in to the sense of impending dread that hangs over our society like a nameless stench? Democracy or Else is a resource for everyone—from political junkies following every turn of the news cycle to young people getting ready to vote for the first time.
By: Jon Favreau, and others
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Apostles of Mercy
- A Novel
- By: Lindsay Ellis
- Narrated by: Abigail Thorn, Angel Pean, Neil Hellegers, and others
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
First Contact has not been going well. The nations of Earth are rapidly militarizing against the arrival of the Superorganism, an alien civilization that promises to destroy humanity before it can develop into a real threat. The Superorganism has done it before–to their distant transient relatives–and they could easily do it again. But the alien Ampersand and his human interpreter Cora Sabino are done with trying to save humanity from both the Superorganism and itself; to them, this is a civilization that does not deserve to be saved.
By: Lindsay Ellis