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Let's Pretend This Never Happened
- A Mostly True Memoir
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
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Publisher's summary
Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013
For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris - Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut.
Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives - the ones we'd like to pretend never happened - are in fact the ones that define us. In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson takes listeners on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor.
Chapters include: "Stanley the Magical, Talking Squirrel", "A Series of Angry Post-It Notes to My Husband", "My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking", and "And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane".
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Editor's Pick
Alas, poor Jenny…
"Just like the taxidermized, Yorick-like mouse on the cover, Let's Pretend This Never Happened is awkward, weird, and hilarious—as is the writer, Jenny Lawson, of The Bloggess fame. Her narration, too, makes this listen truly sing—quite literally when she belts out the chapter titles like a manic, singsong opera star. The whole package is so genuine and vulnerable that I frequently laughed to the point of tears as she regaled her experiences dealing with anxiety, depression, and social missteps. This is a title that could only be written by Lawson herself."
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Kenya Curtis is only eight years old, but she knows that she's different, even if she can't put her finger on how or why. It's not because she's black - most of the other students in the fourth-grade class at her West Philadelphia elementary school are, too. Maybe it's because she calls her father - a housepainter-slash-philosopher - "Baba" or because her parents' friends gather to pour out libations "from the Creator, for the Martyrs" and discuss "the community".
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Loved It!!!
- By ayodele higgs on 05-20-15
By: Asali Solomon
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In Search of Cleo
- How I Found My Pussy and Lost My Mind
- By: Gina Gershon
- Narrated by: Gina Gershon
- Length: 3 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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In Search of Cleo follows Gina’s desperation and despair when her assistant loses her beloved cat, Cleo. Gina spends two months roaming the back streets of Los Angeles at all hours of the night, searching for Cleo and meeting several quirky and outrageous characters who help or hinder her in different ways, including Ellen DeGeneres, who searches with Gina and recommends her pet psychic, Sonia; Arthur, the newspaper delivery man who gives her advice; and the mysterious fortune-teller....
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Loved it!!!
- By Kathryn Prusick Gould on 03-15-16
By: Gina Gershon
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May We Be Forgiven
- By: A. M. Homes
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 20 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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May We Be Forgiven, a darkly comic novel of 21st-century domestic life, stars Harold Silver, a historian who's always been jealous of his successful brother, George. But when the hot-tempered George is institutionalized for committing a violent act, Harold finds himself comforting his brother's wife and children. What follows is a scathing examination of a family so fractured it may never be whole again.
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Give this one a try!
- By JWB on 02-13-13
By: A. M. Homes
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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A Necessary End: A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
At nineteen Leah bears a remarkable resemblance to the young woman Adrienne once was. Which is why Adrienne knows the baby Leah is carrying is meant to be hers. But Leah's got ideas of her own: Her baby's going to get a life in California; why shouldn't she? All she wants is to live in Adrienne's house for a year after the baby's born and get a fresh start. It seems like a small price for Adrienne to pay to get their baby. And with Gabe suddenly onboard, what could possibly go wrong?
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Long time audible listener.
- By Cherith DuBois on 07-11-15
By: Holly Brown
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The Hour I First Believed
- A Novel
- By: Wally Lamb
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 25 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When high-school teacher Caelum Quirk and his wife, Maureen, move to Littleton, Colorado, they both get jobs at Columbine High School. In April 1999, while Caelum is away, Maureen finds herself in the library at Columbine, cowering in a cabinet and expecting to be killed. Miraculously, she survives. But when Caelum and Maureen flee to an illusion of safety on the Quirk family's Connecticut farm, they discover that the effects of chaos are not easily put right.
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excellent all around yarn
- By G. on 01-10-09
By: Wally Lamb
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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The World's Largest Man
- A Memoir
- By: Harrison Scott Key
- Narrated by: Harrison Scott Key
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Harrison Scott Key was born in Memphis, but he grew up in Mississippi, among pious, Bible-reading women and men who either shot things or got women pregnant. At the center of his world was his larger-than-life father - a hunter, a fighter, and a football coach. Harrison, with his love of books and excessive interest in hugging, couldn't have been less like Pop, and when it became clear that he was not able to kill anything very well or otherwise make his father happy, he resolved to become everything his father was not.
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I laughed every day to and from work. Loved it!
- By KufRN on 06-06-18
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Get Lucky
- By: Katherine Center
- Narrated by: Morgan Hallett
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Filled with wit and heart, Get Lucky by Katherine Center explores the deep bonds of sisterhood. Sarah Harper’s whole world revolved around her job at a New York advertising agency before an email snafu got her fired. Now she’s seeking refuge at her sister Mackie’s home in Houston. But Mackie, who’s unable to get pregnant, is also down-and-out these days. So Sarah decides to do something good and becomes a surrogate mother.
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Finding what matters most in life
- By bizymom7 on 10-12-24
By: Katherine Center
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
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struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Whether Samantha Irby is talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making “adult” budgets; explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette; detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father’s ashes; sharing awkward sexual encounters; or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms (hang in there for the Costco loot!); she’s as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.
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Subtly Funny Musings on Life Experiences
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You may "know" Jenny Slate from her Netflix special, Stage Fright, as the creator of Marcel the Shell, or as the star of Obvious Child. But you don't really know Jenny Slate until you get bonked on the head by her absolutely singular writing style. To see the world through Jenny's eyes is to see it as though for the first time, shimmering with strangeness and possibility.
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softness is earned and it is wonderful
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Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
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Sh-t My Dad Says
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After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
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Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award
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Once again, David Sedaris brings together a collection of essays so uproariously funny and profoundly moving that his legions of fans will fall for him all over again. He tests the limits of love when Hugh lances a boil from his backside, and pushes the boundaries of laziness when, finding the water shut off in his house in Normandy, he looks to the water in a vase of fresh cut flowers to fill the coffee machine.
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Don't Start with this One
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Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
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Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
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If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
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What listeners say about Let's Pretend This Never Happened
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Mercedes
- 05-22-13
deliriously funny
If you could sum up Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) in three words, what would they be?
funny, honest, entertainment
What was one of the most memorable moments of Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir)?
the childhood traumas, when she finds hamlet mouse... so hilarious!
Have you listened to any of Jenny Lawson’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
no, I didn't know her, now I appreciate her humor!
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
makes no sense but you won't stop laughing
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- Nannette
- 08-13-12
This made me laugh out loud
Would you listen to Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) again? Why?
I usually don't listen to books a second time, but there are some parts of this book that are just too funny, so maybe.
What other book might you compare Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) to and why?
not sure
What does Jenny Lawson bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
The author is very animated, it almost like sitting with the person and listening to them talk. Her expressions are a riot! I loved it.
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- jlm2874
- 02-15-18
Just ok
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
No. The humor was forced. I wanted to like it and I tried, but it just never made me laugh. The author seemed so guarded. It was as if she'd through fantastical exaggeration in to keep from becoming vulnerable. It kept me from being able to connect with the story.
What three words best describe Jenny Lawson’s voice?
Rushed. Mildly Sarcastic.
Was Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) worth the listening time?
No, I finished Tiffany Haddish's book just prior to this one and that's a tough act to follow, That book was amazing. This is not anywhere near that well thought out.
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- Teddee
- 06-27-12
Laughed and Laughed
If you could sum up Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) in three words, what would they be?
Laughed and Laughed
What other book might you compare Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) to and why?
Few that I have read but, very similar to my own writing style and how I view the world. I'm seriously considering beginning blogging.
Have you listened to any of Jenny Lawson’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Is there more!!!!!!
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
How to sport a deer sweater?
Any additional comments?
I enjoyed this book soooo much. Jenny has a wonderful manic, canter that holds your attention. Just when you think it couldn't get more bazaar it does. It's were Goth , valley girl meets Texas drawl.
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- Mairkk81
- 01-28-13
Funny
Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
I would recommend it to someone I think may enjoy this type of humor however most of my friends don't.
What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)
Don't remember my reaction
What three words best describe Jenny Lawson’s performance?
Quirky, Cute, Funny
What else would you have wanted to know about Jenny Lawson’s life?
whatever else she would like to share.
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- Carmen
- 10-27-15
Hilarious
What made the experience of listening to Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) the most enjoyable?
One of the wittiest funniest books I've experienced. Don't listen to it with kids in the room if you are offended by language... but it's colorful.. not vulgar. Everyone can relate to at least one small aspect of her personality and experiences... but to have them ALL in ONE LIFETIME?? Hence the awesome memoir! :)
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- ashphixiate
- 02-12-14
Hilarious!
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
YES! This book is a feel good book. Has laugh out loud moments, tearful moments, and What the F? moments.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir)?
There are so many to list that it's hard not to say without spoiling! But I will have to go with her and her husband's fights!
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Yes I did was to but didn't get the chance too.
Any additional comments?
I actually bought the book for book club but never could find the time to finish reading it. So I finally downloaded it on audible. I am so glad that I did as it is so funny her reading it! Makes the story come to life a lot more with her description of story telling.
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- Dana Jackson
- 06-29-15
I enjoyed it, mostly
I've read some hilarious things on her blog, but her delivery in person doesn't have quite the same punch. I guess hearing the F word so frequently gets old too. But I still enjoyed learning about her life and struggles and I did laugh out loud quite a few times.
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- L. B. Young
- 03-24-17
I need more stars for the review!
Jenny (not Jinny) Lawson is hilarious! Get the audiobook... nobody could perform it as well!
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- RNK826
- 01-23-15
Hilarious!
I loved this. I'm as socially awkward as the author so most of the situations she finds herself are totally relatable. Good and funny listen.
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